“Marriage isn’t fifty-fifty. It is more like 75-75, 100-100, or

probably 110-110.”

Elnora dePetris

but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they

shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I

put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three;

but the greatest of these is charity.

I Corinthians 13:8b-13 (KJV)

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass

away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I

became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see

only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully

known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of

these is love.

I Corinthians 13:8b-13 (NIV)

Communication

Read chapter 9 before Wednesday. Be ready to discuss in class the rest of the week.

Discussion points!

Chapter 9: Caring Enough to Communicate

• What advantages/risks is there to you knowing your own personality profile? What of your partner? (particularly in the area of communication—our focus)

• What are the various “realms” of communication between people?

• What are some practical suggestions for communication (think love language/MI) between people?

• Why might it be important to seek to understand someone before trying to communicate with them?

• What are other communication issues in relationships?

WOMEN:

MEN:

Communication patterns - humor

Communication patterns – implications for intimacy

Men and women just think/see things differently. Humor helps!

5 Temperament Needs

5 Love Language Needs

daniel e gregory site

More info

http://www.danielegregory.info

Don’t forget to check here:

Journaling1.Research “relationship ratios” (start with

the 4 articles i provide) and provide a summary/reflection of the information.

EXAMPLE: what is the basic info. What implications for relationships (note that this includes business, casual, etc) can be learned. What habits might you need to begin practicing? What communication patterns do you already do? Other insights . . .

Relationships start with seeking to understand, which must begin with really listening which has to assume a basis of care which can only happen with trust in the other person’s intentions for good

Faith in the other person makes a difference

Unity is just that:

U n I Together?: Yes!

Problems get solved when everyone acknowledges and uses their gifts for the benefit of all

Journaling1.Using the material in your textbook as a

guide, what rules for communication were either followed or broken in the clips we saw? What patterns of communication have you seen modelled in your own home? What might you plan to differently in your future home?

2.Write a reaction/process/summary of the communication patterns needed for temperaments, MBJT, 5LL and others.

“Because that’s what intimacy is: it’s a willingness to be

vulnerable, a willingness to bite my tongue and a willingness to

set an example of what I believe in.”

Diane Lane

Vulnerability is not a weakness

What are the questions Dr. Brown suggests are the 2 most dangerous questions?a) Who is at fault?b) What should i fear?c) What will i do with my life?

What is a mentality of “scarcity” culture?

a) Never EXTRAORDINARY enoughb) Never HAPPY enoughc) Never GOOD enough

What are the “normal” ways we cope with scarcity?

a) Armor upb) Drugs & alcoholc) Surrender (to a higher power)

Empathy . . .

a) Fuels connectionb) Is feeling for someonec) Is feeling with someone

Sympathy . . .

a) Is where you connect with someoneb) Drives dis-connectionc) Is feeling for someone

Dr. Brown’s definition of blame?

a) Holding someone accountable for what has happened b) Discharging of discomfort and pain (anger) c) Gives the ILLUSION of control

What one response is NOT a helpful response

a) “at least . . .”b) “wow, that must be . . .” c) “———” (nothing)

Describe her distinction of empathy vs sympathy in the “well” example

How might these insights be integrated with what you know about personalities/temperaments/gender roles?

Group yourselves:

Question 1:If you could, would you rather live in a boat or a tree house?

Question 2:What are the best ways for parents

to show their children they love

them?

Question 3:What’s the hardest thing you’ve

ever done?

Question 4: What personality trait has gotten

you in the most trouble?

What men don’t understand

What women don’t understand