From

This…..

… To

This

From

This…..

… To

This

From

This…..

… To

This

From

This…..

… To

This

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain

"Mothers of

teenagers know

why animals eat

their young“

"Raising

teenagers is

like nailin

g Jell-

O to a tre

e"

"A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth,

but never too tired to hold a phone."

The teen years are a period of intense growth,

not only physically but emotionally, socially and

intellectually. It's understandable that it is a time of confusion and

upheaval for many families

The goal of parenting

teens is to successfully launch them

into adulthood

Typical

Characteristics

Of

Teenagers*

•Emotional

•Physical

•Social

•Intellectual* Compiled by Bob Stahn.

www.wellspringcounselingllc.com

• Awkward• Experimenting • Energetic • Hormone Driven• Out of control• Mobile / free• Rarely likes own appearance • Gawky (as is anything in its adolescence)• In transition from child to adult• Growing (out of clothes)

• Often hungry or eating• Adult body but not maturity

* Compiled by Bob Stahn. www.wellspringcounselingllc.com

•Near sighted•Invincible, risk taker•Self conscious•Doesn’t know self•Defensive often•Curious•Moody, chaotic internally•Awkward•In transition from child to adult•Confused/confusing•New and wonderful experiences•Sensitive about self•Insensitive about others

•Volatile•Know-it-all•Disconnected with others•Experimenting•Enmeshed with peers•Unstable•Dependent•Independent (second toddlerhood)•Narrow minded•Does not know self•Inadequate•Insecure

• Peer oriented/pressure• Self conscious • In transition • Unskilled/Awkward • Manipulative• Without a niche • Liberated from “kid” status • “Pairing up” interests• Acceptance-focused behavior • Individual identity• Being seen/recognized (on stage)

• Mobility• Freedom• Experimental• Insensitive about others• Sensitive about self• Clothes status• Manipulative• Alone/misfit• Want distance from parents

* Compiled by Bob Stahn. www.wellspringcounselingllc.com

• Black and white thinking• Abstract thinking• Idealistic thinking• Here-and-now thinking only (no future)• Pseudo-stupidity (due to little experience)• Experimentation with boundaries• Experimentation with values• Question “Who am I?”• Question “Am I normal?”• Question “Who and what should I believe”

* Compiled by Bob Stahn. www.wellspringcounselingllc.com

The Influence of

Society on Teens

The world revolves around you!

You

Need

Stuff!

You Must Be Constantly Entertained!

The Virtual World is a Great Place to Live!

You Must Stay Connected

Online Usage: 12 – 17 yo• 95% regularly use the internet• 69% have own their computer• 37% have smart phones • 24% use game console to get online (Pew Research 2012)

Social Media Sites• 73% of teens have a

social media profile

• Avg. teen has 201 FB friends

• 18% of teens create private email or social network profile

Cell Phones• 78% of teens have a

cell phone

• The avg. teen sends 60 texts/day

• 40% of teens plan to buy an iphone in the next 6 months

The typical teen logs more than seven

hours a day and more than 50 hours a week

in front of a TV, computer, or cell

phone screen(Kaiser Family Foundation

2012)

Today’s teens are the most

connected generation in

history.

That connectedn

ess will influence

their developme

nt.

Make Your Voice Heard !

The goal of parenting teens is to successfully launch them into adulthood

Be a

Tugboat

Tugboats are:• tenacious

• powerful

• influential

The function of the

tugboat is to

guide ships

• Assist ships leaving & entering the harbor

• Move ships to a desired direction

• Tow ships who cannot move under their own power

Top 5 Tug Boat Tips

Set clear boundaries

and discuss

consequences

Learn to let

go

Expect the best

Listen more….

Be observant and

involved

“If we treat people as who they can become, they will be inspired to rise to the level of our

expectations.”

~ John Maxwell