Library Research:

“Looking Through The Key Holes of Love & Infatuation”

English02 Defense: March 17, 2012 English02 Defense: March 17, 2012

Presented by: De Villa, SherylenGran, Ma. AngelicaMarcos, Ilonah MarieSoria, Racquel Kae

Presented to:Ms. Sybil AgredaPresented to:Ms. Sybil Agreda

Introduction

Love, love, love?

This is the phrase we usually hear and it is most commonly known as a

sensation that we magically feel whenever the right person comes along. But do we

really know what love is. It is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Many

years have passed by, relationships have blossomed and so has love. But no one can

determine the truth behind the meaning of love. To some, love is friendship set on fire

that takes root and grows, one day at a time. For others, maybe love is a pure leap of

fate. It is where at the most unexpected moment it just suddenly comes around or

sometimes you even have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or

feel it, love is the most essential act of the human person. All our knowledge of being

and willing of anything are based on this prehistoric act of loving.

Just like any other teenager,

we have this moment in our life

where we get the feeling of having

that one person we knew as Mr. or

Mrs. Right. It is an extreme emotion

of ecstasy where your heart pound,

made the sun brighten, and taken

over all reasonable thought that

you have in your dreams. It is when

reality is much better than your

dreams.

This intense feeling of love is somehow mistaken by

many of us. It is crazy little thing called love that everyone so

desperately needs. For some guys, they like girls because of their

pretty faces and for the girls, they like guys because he is handsome

or good-looking but this kind of “Cinderella Syndrome” when the girl

is waiting for her prince charming to come is not real love at all. It is

better known as “Infatuation”, the state of being completely carried

away by unreasoned passion or an addictive love where there is

keyhole between it and real love.

•We, the researchers hoped that the findings of thisWe, the researchers hoped that the findings of thisstudy would enable the boys and girls to understand the study would enable the boys and girls to understand the difference between love and infatuation. difference between love and infatuation.

•Understanding this matter served as a guide to young people to Understanding this matter served as a guide to young people to be open to the possibility that more good may be accomplished be open to the possibility that more good may be accomplished by informing them of the facts and not by keeping them ignorant by informing them of the facts and not by keeping them ignorant with this matter. with this matter.

This study aims to present, in an open and This study aims to present, in an open and forthright manner the differences between love and forthright manner the differences between love and infatuation. It will specifically answer the question on infatuation. It will specifically answer the question on how and why the two emotions differ.how and why the two emotions differ.

Body

Related literature

A young person named Abigail Van Buren, the famous newspaper columnist said, when love hits you, you won’t just know for it can either be love or just mere infatuation. Infatuation is a strange mixture of sex and emotions.

It is defined in the dictionary as “completely carried away by unreasoning passion or attraction”. It comes from the Latin word that means “silly or foolish”.

Clifford H. Swensen, has developed an instrument

that assesses how love is manifested and to what extent it

is expressed. Of course, love itself cannot be measured

directly but the manifestations of love can be studied and

gauged. He named this process of research as the love

inventory.

Related literature

Argument

The pendulum on the clock swung back and forth much like our mind does, which was swinging between two possibilities – Was I in love or was I just infatuated?

Stages of LOVEThere are five stages of love. In order to know deeply

what love is we have to know the stages that it undergoes.

Infantile Love Filial Love Filial Love Pre-adolescent Love

Peer Love Mature Love

Types of LOVEThere are 4 types of love: security love, friendship love,

romantic love, and unconditional love. These types of love can also be a basis in order for a person to know if it really is love that he or she is currently feeling.

1. Security Love

2. Friendship Love 3. Romantic love

Lastly, the unconditional love is the sincere

love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of

love comes when you have found the person

you are destined to be with; this love is also

what we call true love.

4. Unconditional Love

Statistics•Research shows that the average college student will experienced

infatuation six to seven times and love once or twice.

•One researcher conducted a study asking 500 young women if they felt they were in love right at that moment.

•72% said they thought to some degree they were.•27% said they probably or certainly were not.• While most youth think they are in love, many express real doubts

about it.

•In other words more than half felt unsure. And we can reasonably assure that many of those who reported they were in love were actually experiencing infatuation.

FACTSLove and infatuation do have one thing in

common – strong feelings of affection for a member of the opposite sex, which complicates the matter of sorting out the differences. The difference between the two is not found in its definition but instead it is found on its degree.

• Love and infatuation share three similar symptoms:

passion, nearness, and strange emotions.

• Passion may be present without genuine love. It is

entirely possible to feel passionate or to have strong

sexual feelings for a person you have not even met.

Common Between Love and Infatuation

• Likewise, the desire to be near one another constantly can be just as overwhelming in infatuation as in genuine love.

• Experiencing strange emotions when you think about the other person is not valid either. You may feel like walking on air when everything is going well and downright ill when things go wrong. But this can happen just as frequently with real love as infatuation.

Common Between Love and Infatuation

Truth About Love

 

Love Myth Love RealityTrue love conquers all. Love is not enough to make a

relationship work—it needs compatibility and commitment

When it’s really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person

It takes just a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time

There is only one true love in the world that is right for you.

It is possible to experience true love with more than one person—there are many potential partners you could be happy with.

Your partner will fulfill and provide all of your needs.

The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them

Key holes between love and infatuation

INFATUATION

LOVE

Is often based on nonsensical attributes such as the way a person walks or laughs. Little things “send” you.

Looks deeply into the compatibility of character traits, shared values and common interest.

Often depends largely on physical attraction-the chills, thrills, heartthrobs and Goosebumps felt when touching the other person

Considers other factors besides physical attraction. Physical attraction will make up a smaller portion of the total relationship.

Often has a destructive and disorganizing effect on the personality, causing you to forget the realities of life.

Brings out the best in you, promoting personal growth, self-respect,ambition, and improvement.

Often keeps you idealizing the other person so that you are unwilling to admit any faults might exist

Takes time to develop and mature. Just as it takes times to grow, it also takes time for genuine love to end.

INFATUATION

LOVE

Often keep you idealizing the other person so that you are unwilling to admit any faults might exist.

Recognizing fine qualities, but also recognizes qualities that are less than perfect.

Often causes family and friends to disapprove of your choice.

Brings approval of family and friends. They can see what your relationship does for both of you.

Often dies quickly when the other person is gone.

Can survive a separation.

Often includes frequent quarrels, arguments, and misunderstandings as a consistent part of the relationship.

Reduces tension as you work toward open discussion for solving problems without arguing.

Is more interested in what you can get from the relationship.

Is interested in sharing and giving to bring happiness and security to the other.

INFATUATION

LOVE

Often includes frequent and severe feelings of jealousy.

Promotes trust and security, which enables you to release the other person.

Is generally used to describe past relationships.

Usually describes present relationships,

Often focuses on unsuitable persons. Is more often directed to suitable persons.

Often includes frequent feelings of guilt, insecurity, and frustation.

Is characterized by feelings of self-confidence, trust, and security.

Is most frequent among young adolescents and immature persons.

Grows over a period of time with emotional & biological maturity.

Can occur easily immediately after a previous love relationship has just ended.

Will develop slowly following a previous love affair.

INFATUATION LOVEIs often followed by boredom once sexual excitement dies off.

Produces an ongoing sense of interest and joy when together.

Requires that the couple must depend on external amusement in order to enjoy themselves.

Sparks interest in each other and commonly shared activities.

Changes your relationship very little even though you go together for a long time.

Changes and grows deeper with ongoing association.

Is often accompanied by shallow feelings and sensations that simply “send” you.

Provides a climate of deepening feelings and growing intimacy as you share more of life with your lover.

Often lasts only a short time. Tends to last for a long period of time.

Often exploits the other person to your advantage.

Protects, nurtures, and cares for the other person.

Is always a poor basis for marriage Is enough to build a marriage on—if all other factors are right.

ConclusionNowadays, people often fall into a

relationship full of confusions and doubts. These were the questions being pondered upon by persons undergoing the 2 puzzling emotions: Asking how a particular feeling should be accessed or valued. How they know that they are really in love? Or else if they only feel infatuated?

•In this research, the differences between love and infatuation were presented fairly and clearly provided with the review of related literature of each topic.

• Love and infatuation are the two puzzling emotions that a person feels. Based on the significant findings of the study, the following conclusions were made:

Studies shows that majority of the young people are confused of their feelings whether they are in love or not.

It is therefore to conclude that in coming up with a decision; each individual should first analyze and take a deep understanding of how he or she feels.

It is not always about the physical appearance that matters for a person to jump up with a conclusion and assumed that they are already in love because you may misinterpret your feelings that will result to a ruined relationship.

Factors such as passion, nearness, and strong emotions must be well evaluated in order to know the difference between the 2 emotions.

The list of keyholes and truths about love & infatuation can be a guideline to young people and will truly help them to specifically differentiate the 2 puzzling emotions.

It is highlighted in this study that love is all about the reality not your dreams and not how you think about it.

Recommendations/

Tips/ Advices

Define love by its degree for feelings cannot exactly be defined through words and also be aware of moments when you feel love towards anyone or anything.

Consider your motives, what are you each getting from the situation, especially if it is progressing too quickly.

Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change or is it just attraction.

Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment. See to it that you understand the meaning behind those 3 significant words, for these words would guide you through the journey of your relationship.

Endure for a time. Time does seem to be the only healer. Have some time for yourself instead of looking for love so desperately to avoid having a relationship that was founded by false love, which is infatuation.

Accept the facts that sometimes love does fail for it has become its natural cycle.

References

Fabella, D. A., & Angel, M. A. (2002). The best of love, courtship, & marriage. Manila: Phillippine Publishing House.

 Pelt, N. V. (1989). The compleat courtship. Manila: Philippine Publishing

House. Anonymous. (2003) The new international webter's comprehensive dictionary of

the english language. Florida: Typhoon International Corporation.

De Angelis, B. (1992). Are you the one for me? New York, New York: Dell Publishing.

  Ashleyv. (2009, December 1). Love or infatuation – the eternal debate. Retrieved

March 16, 2012 from www.authspot.com/thoughts/love-or- infatuation-the-eternal-debate/

 C, Krystal. (2010). How to define love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from

www.wikihow.com/Define-Love Anonymous. (2002). What is love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from www.love-sessions.com/whatislove.htm