Is this REALLY a problem?

Fact

Having an ongoing program would help couples learn to improve their communication skills. Open communication between husband and wife is a critical feature in the first few years of marriage. Those years may be challenging regardless; not because past issues become worse, but because the positive communication of the relationship are decreasing and more things are stressing out the couple (Laver, 2014). When we focus on educating the couple to communicate effectively through marriage programs, that focus will prove to strengthen marriages. (Association, 2004)

early years of marriage

How can we prevent this?

Communication in the

Within five minutes, the likelihood of a couple getting divorced can be predicted with 91% accuracy when it comes to the way they communicate (Gottman, 1999). When couples get married they believe that it is the start of their happily-ever-after; however, research shows that by the five-year anniversary, 20% of marriages have been disrupted due to separation or divorce. This proportion increases to 33% by 10 years and 43% by 15 years (Walsh, 2012).

As one can see, divorce is a major problem that is affecting couples and their families. While one can assume that divorce is a result of stress that comes from sexual issues, children or money, the truth is that they all tie back to lack of communication in those areas. When compared to couples that have remained married, couples who divorced had much more negative communication (Markman, Rhoades, Stanley, Ragan & Whitton, 2010). Thus, demonstrating that positive communication is a very important factor before and during marriage. Research also indicates that partners’ satisfaction with relationships is affected by the quality of their communication (Christensen, Doss, & Atkins, 2006).

The effects of divorce not only affect the couple but affect the children as well. More than one-million children in the United States are affected by divorce each year (Feulner, 2000). Studies show that daughters whose parents are divorced are more likely to engage in premarital sex (Feulner). It also doubles the risk of serious problems for all of the couple’s children (Walsh). Another way that poor communication leading to divorce has a negative effect is that household income for children living with two parents averaged $43,600 then drops to $25,300 following a divorce (Feulner). Not only does divorce affect that family but the community as well, the lower a city's divorce rate, the lower its crime rate (Feulner).

Based on all of these statistics, one can see that divorce is a major problem in society; it affects many parts of our own and parents and children’s lives. If we know that good communication could save many relationships, then what is keeping us from that? Knowledge--people do not know how to create good communication. The need exists for programs to teach such things.

“In America, there is one divorce approximately

every 36 seconds” McKinley Irvin

Family Law, 2012).

2

In a survey conducted in February, 2016, ten questions were asked to couples regarding their thoughts on what would be the most beneficial skills to learn in the early years of marriage. Over 300 individuals participated in the survey, and the results were revealing. As shown, communication was given the highest rating of importance in newlywed couples, and sexual intimacy came in second. The graph indicates the percentages of topics that then follow. While the other areas are important to notice, we have found that communication is the foundation of all the topics of concern among newlyweds. Which is why our program will be so beneficial. We will cover all target areas with our foundation in each class being communication.

Our Program

56%

8%

7%

9% 2%

9%

1% 3% 2% 3%

Communication

Sexual Intimancy

Balancing School, Work, Leisure activies and Relationships Managing Finances

Decision Making

Conflict Resolution

Gender Roles

Merging Traditions

Dealing with oppising values

Other

opposing values

As one can see based on the information given, there is a great need for couples to improve their communication skills during their early years of marriage. If during the first five minutes of studying a couple, John Gottman is able to determine whether the couple’s marriage will end in divorce, then there must be a way to help couples learn how to improve their relationship skills before it is too late. That is why we believe that our program is necessary for couples to attend in their first few years of marriage. The program we have designed addresses many of the issues so couples can have a high chance of success. Teaching newly-married couples how to communicate can help give them success in their marital dialogue. We surveyed more than 300 people and have based our program on these main issues. As one can see in the graph to the right, communication is the number one topic, yet we feel that it is important to include the other areas of marital needs found in our survey.

References

Other Programs There are many programs that can help couples

who may be struggling with their relationships, but they may not know where to find them. We are going to suggest a few programs that can help couples. One program that can help couples is the Couple Links program with Healthy Relationships Utah at Utah State University. The goal of this course is “to help partners understand their differences, increase their trust, and deepen their commitment” (Couple Links, 2015). This would help couples with communication and help them realize how important it is to communicate with one another.

Another program that could help couples is the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP). “PREP aims to help couples maintain high levels of functioning and prevent marital problems from developing. Topics covered include: communication, conflict management, commitment, friendship, sensuality, problem-solving, and emotional supportiveness, among others” (About PREP, Inc, n.d.). This course includes many topics that could help couples better understand the different conflicts that may show up in their marriage.

Association, A. P. (2004, October 8). Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together. Retrieved from American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/research/action/marital.aspx

Christensen, A., Doss, B., & Atkins, D. (2006). Family Psychology: The art of science. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Feulner, E. J. (2000). Divorce: Ignoring the cost. Retrieved from http://www.heritage.org/research/commentary/2000/08/divorce-ignoring-the-cost

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York, NY: Crown.

Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2014). Relationship problems over the early years of marriage: Stability or change?.Journal Of Family Psychology, 28(6), 979-985. doi:10.1037/a0037752

Markman, H. J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Ragan, E. P., & Whitton, S. W. (2010). The premarital communication roots of marital distress and divorce: The first five years of marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 24, 289 –

298. doi:10.1037/a0019481

McKinley Irvin Family Law. 30 October 2012.

Walsh, F. (2012). Normal Family Processes. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.