Exposing the Cyberbully

By Nancy E. Marden

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the

Requirements for a

Degree in Writing

General Writing Option

May 11, 2010

WRT 465/Thesis Advisor: Prof. John Briggs

Abstract

This thesis takes a close look at the dynamics that make school-aged

bullies not only dangerous, but too often deadly. Today’s bullies have a new

“playground” called cyberspace, where they can harass, humiliate and threaten

their victims: They are called cyberbullies. In the United States as many as 35-45

percent of teens admit to being victims or engaging in online bullying. As a result

of advancing technology and internet accessibility combined with over two

hundred social websites, cyberbullying is escalating.

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Table of Contents

Abstract…………………………………………………………………………1 Introduction..........................................................................................................3 Defining Cyberbullying .......................................................................................5 What Makes a Child a Target. .............................................................................7 Why Some Children Bully……………………………………………………..10 Role of the Bystander...................……………………………………………..13 Indirect Cyberbullying

Flaming……… ……………………………………………………………15 Impersonation… .……………………………………………………….....15 Outing and Trickery….……………………………………………………15

Direct Cyberbullying Denigration…………… .………………………………………………….16 Harassment and Stalking..…………………………………………………17 Exclusion…………………...……………………………………………...18

Bullying Statistics……… ............................................ ……………………19-22 Cyberbullying Laws: Connecticut Statute…………… ........ ……………...23-25

H.R. 1966 Megan Meier Cyberbullying Prevention Act Bill… ..…………24 H.R. 3630 The AWARE Act Bill……………………………… ..………..24

When Bullying Becomes Deadly……………………………………. ……26-28 Lifelong Affects ……………………………………………………………29-32 The Latest Social Website……………………………………………………..33 Responsibility Beyond the Playground (Connecticut School Policy)… ..... 33-37 Conclusion ................................................................................................... 38-39 Works Cited………………………………………………………… ..... …44-49

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Introduction

School-yard bullies are nothing new. The consequences of bullying affect

everyone: At some point in our lives we have either witnessed bullying, been the

target of it or even the one doing the bullying. We all have stories about it, seen it

in portrayed in the movies and television (the characters “Butch” from the Little

Rascals or “Regina” form the movie Mean Girls). In typical scenarios, the bully

is portrayed as controlling and intimidating in order to get his or her way.

Children who bully are much more complex than these characters, yet the

common denominator seems to be the same; all bullies need a victim.

Most people accept that there will always be a childhood bully, and they

assume the bully will outgrow it and move on. But, the alarming fact is that about

25 percent of all school-aged bullies will have a criminal record by the time they

are an adult.

Traditional methods used by the bully to intimidate and control include;

the use of verbal threats, physical threats (pushing, hitting, spitting), emotional or

passive methods of spreading vicious rumors or snickering. But a more recent

and increasingly popular method of bullying has become known as

‘cyberbullying.’ This new “virtual playground” is being used by bullies who

exploit the immediacy and far-reaching audience of the internet, via social

websites such as Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, Formsrping.me, Twitter, IM's

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(instant messaging), and texting via cell phones. Children as young as 5 years old

are using social websites for communication; and that number is increasing daily.

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Defining Cyberbullying

“Cyberbullying is being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful

material or engaging in other forms of social cruelty using the Internet or other

digital technologies. It has various forms, including direct harassment and

indirect activities that are intended to damage the reputation or interfere with the

relationships of the student targeted, such as posting harmful material,

impersonating the person, disseminating personal information or images, or

activities that result in exclusion.” (Willard).

Cyberbullying is even more powerful than traditional bullying because the

bully has a much larger audience allowing the attack to be more devastating for

the victim while the bully can remain anonymous. Alex Bioanghu, a guidance

counselor at Whisconier Middle School in Brookfield, Connecticut, said children

who cyberbully engage in a term he calls “disinhibition effect,” where “there is a

psychology of cyberspace that lends itself to certain behaviors; (where children)

are known to say or do things they might not do face-to-face…” (Danbury News-

Times, March 14, 2009).

The 2006 National School Safety Center (NSSC) published Bullying in

Schools- Fight the Bully Battle fact sheets which are used to teaching and training

in the school communities. Bullying is considered an act of violence, whether it

is verbal, physical or emotional. According to research, it is shown that boys tend

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to bully physically or directly, while girls bully emotionally or indirectly.

Bullying or cyberbullying can take on a sexual form of harassment. Name

calling such as: “fag,” “slut,” “whore,” “pussy,” etc., imply that the gender being

attacked is lacking in what is deemed socially acceptable by teens. Even if these

statements are not true, they have long-lasting emotional affects on the victim.

Males tend to bully more aggressively, whether it is physically or while “online

gaming.” Of the 21-30 percent of cyberbullies, almost all of them have made

rude, nasty or mean comments. This was followed by spreading rumors,

threatening or aggressive comments and finally embarrassing their targets.

(Internet Solutions for Kids, Inc.)

A very popular forum for entertainment and socializing is the ability to

play video games over the internet against another opponent through gaming

systems like Xbox. This type of venue increases the level of competition and

chances for online bullying among teens.

Indirect (passive or relational) bullying is used mostly by females which is

a “systemic diminishment of self, which is done through ignoring, isolating,

excluding, or shunning…it can involve rolling of the eyes, sneers, or hostile body

language.” (Donohoe and Burger).

“Current estimates indicate that 20 to 35 percent of children and

adolescents report experiencing cyberbullying (Diamandurous, Downs, &

Jenkins). A study which only included students under age 17 indicated that about

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one-third of girls and one-third of males were equally bullied. It was estimated

that in 2006 that more than 13 million children and adolescents ages 6 to 17 were

victims (Feinberg & Robey 2009).

According to the Connecticut Department of Education, there are currently

572,293 students enrolled in the school system. That would equate to

approximately 114,000 to 200,000 students who admit to have been cyberbullied

in Connecticut alone. In the United States, Web Wise Kids reports that as many

as 43 percent of teens were victims of cyber bullying in 2008.

The highest numbers of victims occur with middle school students, and

statistics show that this age group tends to receive electronic harassment

(cyberbullying) by instant messaging, followed by chat rooms and then emails,

with only about half of them knowing who is bullying them (Kowalski &

Limber).

Most victims do not tell anyone, unfortunately “only five percent of

middle school kids who are cyberbullied tell a parent (because) experts say the

victims are ashamed of being bullied, and my worry that their parents will take

their computer or cell phone away.” (WR News, Sr. Ed. 2008).

In an anonymous online Web-based survey of almost 1,500 middle to

high school-aged children, 90 percent said they did not tell a parent or adult they

had been bullied online (Juvonen & Gross, 2008).

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Cyberbullying, as well as traditional bullying has a three way dynamic

that includes; the target (victim), the bully (offender) and the bystander

(audience).

What Makes a Child a Target?

A child usually becomes a target if they are different in some way, based

on: special education, race, overweight, disability or some kind, religion, etc, and

they tend to be sensitive, passive, and come from caring and loving homes. They

are perceived as 'weak' and easily become targets. According to the National

Association of School Psychologists there are certain characteristics of children

that make them targets for bullies:

• Vulnerable, immature, or socially naïve teens who may lack sufficient knowledge and skills to engage in effective decision-making

• Younger teens who may have overprotective or naive parents but who likely have healthy peer relations and good values

• Youth who have temporarily impaired relations with parents and/or peers and are currently highly emotionally upset

• Youth who face major ongoing challenges related to personal mental health and disruptions in relations with parents, school, and/or peers (Demeray & Brown, 2009).

Victims, or ‘targets’ also often feel isolated, fearful, anxious, withdrawn, do

not want to go to school and can become vengeful, according to NSSC. Some

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consequences of being bullied include: bullying others, committing suicide and

seeking revenge.

According to www.webmd.com, children who are bullied tend to be:

Sensitive;

Socially withdrawn, they think poorly of themselves, or may have a quiet temperament;

Anxious;

Passive, they often let others be in control and do not stand up for themselves; and

More likely to get depressed.

Targets were harassed by older teens aged 13 -17 rather than 10-12 year-

olds, with about half of the bullies being male, 30 percent female, and 20 percent

unknown to the victim. Further, about half of the victims knew their harasser as

being from school while the other half had no idea who the perpetrator was.

(www.cyberbully411.com).

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Why Some Children Bully

“Children who bullied tended to be aggressive and lacking in a moral

compass and they experienced a lot of conflict in their relationships with their

parents. In addition, their relationships with friends also were marked by a lot of

conflict, and they tended to associate with others who bullied” (Science Daily,

March 27, 2008). By looking at how a child relates to those around him or her,

will give an good indication as to whether or not they are prone to bully, offline or

online.

As for gender differentiation, female and male teens who engaged in

cyberbullying or electronic aggression were equally likely to harass others online;

whereas boys were more likely to harass others by traditional bullying methods.

Cyberbullies were more likely to be aggressive and break rules more often, were

reported being depressed or withdrawn twice as often as teens that did not harass

others online.(Internet solutions for Kids, Inc).

Another contributing factor to becoming a bully is retaliation: “Twenty-

seven percent of girls who were bullied online retaliated back with their own

cyberbullying.” (Cengage Learning).

The bully gains a sense of power and control when he/she bullies their

target. “Bullying behaviors that continue into adulthood can turn into child abuse,

domestic violence and other criminal activities.” (Quiroz, Arnette and Stevens).

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“Boys who were identified as bullies in middle school were four times as likely as

non-bullying peers to have more than one criminal conviction by age 24.”

(HRSA).

There is a psychological profile or makeup for children who bully other

children. Characteristics of children who bully, according to US Department of

Health and Human Services:

• impulsive, hot-headed, dominant;

• easily frustrated;

• lack empathy;

• have difficulty following rules;

• view violence in a positive way; and

• tend to be physically stronger than other children

(US Dept. of Health and Human Services, HRSA)

Further, the US Department of Health and Human Services reports that

family risk factors include: a lack of warmth and involvement on the part of

parents; overly permissive parenting; lack of supervision; harsh, physical

discipline and / or a model of bullying behavior. There are many myths about

bullies; that they are “loners” and have “low self-esteem”, but they actually make

friends easily and have friends that encourage their behavior, as well as having

good self-esteem, according to HRSA.

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Bullying can be a sign of other serious antisocial or violent behavior and

are more likely to:

• Get into frequent fights

• Be injured in a fight

• Vandalize property

• Steal property

• Drink alcohol

• Smoke

• Be truant from school

• Drop out of school

• Cary a weapon

(US Dept. of Health and Human Services, HRSA)

Moreover, in a study released in a journal in the Society for Research in

Child Development, Inc., “The evolutionary and developmental importance of

affection has also been shown and established as a universal goal…it seems to be

a safe assumption that bullies, like other human beings, want to realize status and

affection.” (Veenstra et al.) The study further theorizes why bullies will risk one

of these two (status v affection) in order to achieve one or the other. “Thus,

Bullies can be expected to strategically choose victims who are already rejected

(disliked) by significant others in the class.” (Veenstra et al).

Further, bullies also tend to bully their same gender, although not always

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the rule. By males bullying the same gender, they select victims “who pose a

minimal risk for a loss of affection….male bullies are likely to choose those girls

as victims who are rejected by boys.”

The Role of the Bystander

Bystanders are the audience who “witness” the bully’s attack on his or her

victim. Bystanders either become a participant (bully by proxy), by joining in on

Web pages and leaving hurtful or nasty comments, or by simply doing nothing

except observe the bullying behavior, which in turn condones the behavior. The

reason most bystanders do not intervene, whether in person or online, is for fear

of becoming the target. This in turn only enforces the behavior as acceptable,

especially if nothing is done to stop it, according to NSSC. It becomes a form of

social acceptance.

Ironically, it is the bystanders that have the most power in the dynamic,

not the bully. Children are influenced greatly by their peers and tend to follow the

flow or current trends, thereby setting acceptable social behaviors (Rigby). A

study in Australia found several reasons that support addressing the bystanders in

order to reduce bullying:

• Most bullying takes place when bystanders are present.

• Although most bystanders do not act to discourage it, when any

one of them does there is a good chance (around 50%) that the

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bullying will stop.

• Teachers generally do not have the opportunity to take any

action because they are typically not present and are not told

about it.

• A large proportion of students would like to see bullying

stopped.

The behaviors that are not addressed in a child’s early age suggesting that

the behavior will carry-over into adulthood, family life and the work place.

Examples of this can be seen where sexual harassment, racism and discrimination

are prevalent in the workplace. Empowering children (bystanders) to believe that

they can make a difference by not tolerating harassment, or any deviant social

behavior, could not only prevent bullying, but set socially acceptable behavior.

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Cyberbullying: Indirect vs. Direct

Cyberbullying, like traditional bullying, can be either direct or indirect.

There are several forms of cyberbullying that have been labeled as; flaming,

impersonation, outing and trickery, denigration, harassment and stalking and

exclusion.

Indirect Cyberbullying

Flaming is an indirect form of cyberbullying and was defined by Nancy

Willard (who is a recognized authority on issues related to the safe and

responsible use of the Internet) as an argument between two people that includes

rude and vulgar language, insults, and threats. This method of bullying usually

occurs via instant messaging, chat rooms or emails where cyberbullies can

exchange comments back and forth, typically one on one.

Impersonation is breaking into someone else’s email and using it to send

vicious or embarrassing material to others. Lori Drew, whose daughter was a

former friend of the 13 year-old Megan Meier, created a fake MySpace profile

and pretended to be a teen-aged boy interested in Meier. After months of gaining

Meier’s trust, and confidence, Drew used this to cause emotional distress and

stated such comments to Meier as “the world would be a better place without

you.” (Stelter, NYTimes, Nov. 27 2008) Megan Meier was found hanging in her

room shortly after.

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Outing and trickery is engaging someone in instant messaging and

tricking them into revealing personal or sensitive information and forwarding or

distributing it to others (Willard, 2007).

Direct Cyberbullying

Denigration is a form of direct cyberbullying, according to Willard, is

when a student or students set up a website used to ridicule or damage the

reputation of the victim.

A recent incident occurred at a middle school in Connecticut where an 8th

grade female was the target of a Web page created on Facebook called “I hate

…(Girl’s Name Withheld)” where there were 39 members from the school. The

perpetrators consisted of five male students and one female student who created

the Web page to humiliate the target because they felt she had “ratted” on them.

According to the victim’s mother, “there was no real “incident,” but it started with

some confrontations which included vulgar and sexual comments only occurring

on the school bus.” Some of the actual comments on the Facebook site included:

“She is a parent’s wet dream”

“Whoever created this website is genius, I love this picture”

(Victim’s picture was altered to include horns and pitchfork).

When the target told her parents about the bus incidents, they became involved by

notifying the school. It is believed that this sparked the creation of the webpage.

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The target only became aware of the webpage when another student told her of it.

The school administration was anonymously informed of the incident and pulled

each of the five students individually who created the webpage and then

addressed the 39 confirmed members who had joined the webpage.

The target’s parents were not aware of the incident until she came home

from school that day. It appears that school administrators are not sure quite how

to handle these types of bullying. The mother of the target was concerned that

comments may have been deleted before they could be copied, and may have

included threats.

Ironically, this all transpired within days of a presentation on cyber safety

and cyberbullying that had been given to all 7th and 8th graders of the same school.

The Brookfield school district had received funding to provide students

with an educational and informative presentation regarding the safety of the

internet. Part of the presentation included a segment on cyberbullying with a

student speaking about his personal experience with being bullied online.

Another troubling fact is that only two parents attended and invitation to view the

same presentation and a chance for Q&A with the school staff. This only

reinforces the need for parental awareness as to the implications of their

children’s unsupervised use of the internet.

Harassment and stalking another form of direct cyberbullying includes

repeatedly sending cruel, vicious, and/or threatening messages.

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Exclusion is intentionally excluding someone from an online group, this

can be done by “blocking” the individual or “un-friending” them which is a

feature used when you delete a once added “friend” on Facebook.

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Statistics

Studies show that the use of IMs and Webcams has increased the incidents

of cyberbullying, due to the sharing of pictures and video, by almost three times.

(Juvonen and Gross). Webcams allow live online video chat and the ability to

record what is being transmitted without sender’s permission. Cyberbullies can

directly harass, tape and broadcast live.

Another popular website, YouTube, allows its users to upload videos for

public viewing and commenting. This is just another tool for cyberbullies to

either make fun of their targets by making videos to harass or threaten their

targets or using images of their targets without permission that may be hurtful or

humiliating.

While ninety percent of children 12 years-old and younger say their

parents know where they go online, only 41 percent of children 13-15 years-old

admit their parents really know what sites they visit online, and 25 percent know

“little” or “nothing” about what they do online.(webwisekids.org).

As for social website popularity, “Facebook rules with 400 million

worldwide users, with MySpace in second place with 100 million” (Bazelon).

But when it comes to connecting with their friends, middle school-aged to high

school-aged teens it is the cell phone that dominates technological use for

communication in the form of texting.

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“Cell phones continue to be the most popular technology utilized by

adolescents with almost 83% of youth in our sample report having used one at

least weekly. A greater proportion of adolescents are now using Facebook

compared to MySpace, and twitter remains unpopular among most youth.”

(www.cyberbullying.us).

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Bullying victims were two to nine times more likely to report suicidal

thoughts than other children were” (Science Daily Magazine, 2008). Signs of

suicidal behavior include: declining school performance, social isolation, loss of

interest in previously enjoyed activities, change in eating and sleeping habits, and

not wanting to attend school.

“Current estimates indicate that 20 to 35 percent of children and

adolescents report experiencing cyberbullying … A study which only included

students under age 17, indicated 32 percent of boys and 36 percent of girls were

victims of cyberbullying (Hinjuja & Patchin, 2008). It was estimated that in 2006

that more than 13 million children and adolescents ages 6-17 were victims

(Feinberg & Robey 2009). According to the Connecticut Department of

Education, there are currently 572,293 students, or approximately 114,000 to

200,000 students admit to being cyberbullied. In another study, Web Wise Kids

reports that as many as 43 percent of teens were victims of cyber bullying in

2008.

Middle school students tend to be victims of cyberbullying by instant

messaging, followed by chat rooms and then emails with only about half of them

knowing who is bullying them (Kowalski & Limber 2007).

According to Weekly Reader (WR News, Senior Edition 2008), “only five

percent of middle school kids who are cyberbullied tell a parent…experts say the

victims are ashamed of being bullied, and my worry that their parents will take

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their computer or cell phone away.” In an anonymous online Web-based survey

of almost 1,500 middle to high school-aged children, 90 percent said they did not

tell a parent or adult they had been bullied online (Juvonen & Gross, 2008).

In a study regarding the victimization of adolescent girls, it was found that

about 40 percent of girls cyberbullied, were called names such as: ‘“fat,” “ugly,”

“slut,” “bitch,” and the spreading of gossip – including lies and rumors about the

victim.”(Burgess-Proctor, Hinduja & Patchin). Of the girls who participated in

the study, only 20 percent “never knew who was bullying them.” Whereas 31

percent said it was a friend, and over 36 percent said it was someone from their

school, which included ex-boyfriends. (Burgess-Proctor, Hinduja & Patchin).

More than one third of those bullied online, did not tell anyone. And more

than half (55%) simply did not let it affect them, and dismissed the behavior.

(Burgess-Proctor, Hinduja and Patchin).

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Cyberbullying Laws

Although the state of Connecticut has statutes regarding bullying in

schools, there are three states that do not: Nebraska, New Jersey and New

Mexico. Some argue that even the statutes that do exist are vague and do not

distinguish between cyberbullying, cyberstalking and cyberharassment, other than

by age of the perpetrator.

Connecticut’s Board of Education gave a deadline to schools to come up

with program/disciplinary for incidents of bullying as of February1, 2009. All

Connecticut schools have a prevention, intervention and disciplinary plan

included in student handbooks and in compliance with the BOE Policy 5131.911

regarding bullying.

“CGS § 10-222(d) requires local and regional board of education to develop and implement policy to address bullying in schools. In short, requiring the ability to report, and have suspected incidents of bullying investigated, provide written reports and include prevention and intervention. Upon repeat offenders (bullies) may include counseling and discipline. The deadline for each local and regional board to submit a policy was February 1, 2009.” In Connecticut, parents are entitled to sue school administrations for

failure to provide safe environments for their children if they are victims of

bullying. Parents of the bullies can be liable up to $5,000 for “willful or

malicious injury caused to others...” (CGS § 52-572). Connecticut attorney, Scott

D. Camassar, says the statute has no specific language regarding cyberbullying,

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and needs to be added to the books. The legal argument comes down to the First

Amendment’s protection of freedom of speech and what is considered to be

bullying. In other words, what distinguishes a joke, prank or statement of opinion

from a cruel statement intended to cause harm?

On September 30, 2009 there was a Congressional hearing in response to

addressing cyberbullying and online issues facing children addressed the

definition of cyberbullying to also include the use of “rumors or lies or

publication of something meant to be private, or the personification – or

impersonation of another person.” Specifically, there was testimony heard

regarding two bills that would address cyberbullying:

• H.R 1966, the Megan Meier Cyberbullying Prevention Act:

will make it a federal crime, specifically a felony, if technical

communication is used to “coerce, intimidate, harass, or cause

substantial emotional distress… that is repeated and hostile

behavior.”

• H.R. 3630 The Adolescent Web Awareness Requires

Education Act (AWARE Act) will authorize $125 million for

grants to create programs and educate children, schools and

communities.

(Congressional Hearing Transcript Database, Web. 30 Sept.

2009)

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The first is H.R. 1966, “Megan Meier Cyberbullying Prevention Act,”

which was in response to 13 year-old Megan Meier who committed suicide after

being tormented and harassed by Lori Drew; who was initially found guilty of

failure to comply with the Terms of Service contract for MySpace but was

ultimately overturned. At the time, there were no existing laws in Missouri to

convict Drew criminally. If this bill were to pass it would make cyberbullying a

federal crime punishable up to two years in a federal prison.

Arguments surrounded the issue of what would constitute a criminal act as

opposed to a civil one. The perpetrator of cyberbullying often engages in an

emotional psychological attack on their victims (“intentional infliction of

emotional distress”) through images, words, texts etc., which would be difficult to

categorize as criminal, due to the lack of what the Constitution regard protected

speech considers a “ true threat.” The issue or problem facing lawmakers is the

fine line between free speech or protected speech, and “true threats” which are

those indicating bodily harm, which are exempt from protected speech.

(Congressional Hearing Transcript Database, Web. 30 Sept. 2009).

The difference between being charged with the act cyberbullying vs.

cyberstalking is that cyberstalking involves a “credible threat of harm to the

victim and cyberbullying does not.” (Congressional Hearing et al).

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When Bullying Becomes Deadly

Ryan Halligan never told his parents that he was being bullied at school.

Ryan was considered ‘Special Ed’ due to speech/motor skill problems through the

fourth grade. By the time he entered the 5th grade was behind the other students

academically, resulting in ridicule and start of his bullying experience. This only

continued and escalated in the 7th grade. Ryan hated school, but he didn’t want

his parents to get involved for fear of the bullying becoming worse. The main

reason for victims not telling someone is due to a fear of retaliation from their

perpetrator. Other reasons include the embarrassment and fear or losing access to

their computer, phones etc.

He spent the summer of 2003 online and began using instant messaging

and revealed intimate personal information. It was not long before he was being

bullied online, and through “outing and trickery” the cyberbully befriended him

having gained his trust only to humiliate and embarrass him by exposing personal

information about Ryan in school. Ryan took his own life on October 8, 2003.

“For too long, we have let kids and adults bully others as a rite of passage into

adulthood…” (John Halligan, Ryan’s father).

In the recent case of Phoebe Prince, a 15 year-old student at South Hadley

High School in Mass., recently took her own life in January 2010 after being

bullied by nine students over the course of a three month period. Of the students

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charged, two are popular athletes and honor roll students. This supports the

“Social climber bullies” theory that these bullies are upper social class students

who are overlooked because they are leaders in the school and viewed favorably

by administrators, teachers and counselors (Willard 2006).

The District Attorney for Northwestern Mass., Elizabeth Scheibel, that the

school officials had known about the bullying which included the indictment of

nine students involved in a three month campaign where their “goal was to

humiliate” Phoebe Prince. Some of the charges included: civil rights violation by

bodily injury, criminal harassment, assault by a dangerous weapon, statutory rape,

disturbing a school assembly, and stalking. Incidents of bullying included verbal

threats, physical violence of pushing, spitting and throwing a bottle or can at her.

Scheibel stated in a public announcement that the “conduct far exceeded the limits

of normal teenage relationship related quarrels, and….it was known to faculty and

students.”

According to suicide studies found that “75% of all completed suicides did

things in the few weeks or months prior to their deaths to indicate to others that

they were in deep despair.” (www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org). There are many myths

surrounding suicide, that those who talk about it just want attention, or if someone

wanted to die, there is nothing you can do to stop them.

In a Connecticut case, Maryann Measles a 13 year-old middle school girl

from the town of New Milford, was murdered on October 19, 1997 by eight of her

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friends; five males and three females, who kidnapped, raped, and strangled to

death before being dumping her nude body in the Housatonic River. “The

affidavits say Maryann had sex with all of the accused men in the summer of

1997, and was killed when they learned she had gone to local police and filed a

sexual assault complaint against one of them and was in the midst of filing a

complaint against another. At the same time, women in the group had grown

jealous and angry and helped arrange the killing, according to at least some of the

accounts.” (Hartford Courant, Nov. 2002).

One of the men charged stated: “We wanted to scare her,” Rajcok told

the court. “It was a schoolyard fight between a couple of girls that ended like

this.... I was angry with her and I wanted her silenced, but not like that.” (The

Register Citizen, Feb. 2009).

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Lifelong Affect

Bullying in any form has long lasting effects on its victims. Many will

suffer the psychological and emotional damage into their adult and parenting

years. On psychologist and author, Elizabeth Bennett considers herself an “Adult

Survivor of Peer Abuse”, her experience from being bullied, or Peer Abuse, as she

refers to it, has altered her life. According to Bennett, she was “different”… “I

cried a lot, was sensitive, silly and was a quiet child” In grade school, one girl

was a bully, and Bennett wondered why “others girls continued to "worship" her

and always place her on a pedestal, she was so mean and bitchy.” Her parents

began to think she was the one not trying to make friends and that she just needed

to toughen up and deal with it. The years of bullying at school only continued

and worsened:

“It became a daily ritual of being slammed into lockers, pushed around, had spitballs in my hair, called all kinds of names and on my first date that year, I was raped. Also, when I was 12, all of this triggered my first bout with what was to be clinical depression. My parents were furious because my self esteem was so low and my grades were terrible…I wanted to die and considered it at the age of 12.” (Bennett)

By the 9th grade she was using alcohol and smoking cigarettes as an

escape. Her grades suffered and her self-esteem was non-existent. The years of

being bullied lead to her dating men who were both physically and verbally

abusive. It wasn’t until after college that she sought treatment for her years or

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peer abuse and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that she began therapy and

medication that helped her to move past her years of being bullied.

“Victims of traditional bullying say it has affected them to the point where

they have attempted suicide, run away, refused to go to school, or been

chronically ill.”(Hinduja & Patchin). The Cyberbullying Research Center did a

study on 3,000 students grades 6-8 who were victims of bullying, the results show

that both male and females felt mostly “angry” and “frustrated,” followed by

feeling “sad” and then “embarrassed.” Additionally, almost half of the males

studied said they felt “scared,” compared to only about 25 percent of females

feeling the same. (Hinduja & Patchin, 2008).

It would appear that bullying whether it is verbal, physical or written has

negative long term effects on children well into their adulthood. It carries over

into work bullying, or better recognized as harassment or discrimination. Below

are some blog entries from the website (www.cyberbullyalert.com):

(The blogs have been edited for content and brevity)

hazeleyes Says: February 2nd, 2010 at 9:13 am

“I was also cyber bullied by a girl that had a serious grudge against me and my boyfriend at the time. . .The message damaged my confidence and I never could let it go. When I reported it to my principal he said there was “nothing he could do” because it was outside of school….”

soccerghurl808 Says: March 2nd, 2010 at 2:23 pm

“…I am in eighth grade … My BEST FRIEND has been cyberbullying me for a month now and it just won’t go away! All you people say just tell a teacher, but that made it worse… I have had thoughts of suicide… I have not

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wanted to go to school though!… These memories will torture me for the rest of my life and they will NEVER go away…”

Sydney Says: March 14th, 2010 at 7:09 pm

“I’ve been a victim of bullying all of my life, I’ve tried to put an end to my life a few times now because of it, … I do believe that I have developed an unhealthy view on life because of what people have done to me, but I can’t help but feel that way.”

Gender does not seem to make a difference with regard to cyberbullying.

Both male and females will bullying via the social networks (Facebook,

MySpace, Formspring.me, Youtube, etc) to harass, embarrass and intimidate their

targets. This does differ from bullying in person because there is a sense of being

anonymous and ‘hiding’ behind a screen name or persona.

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The Latest Social Website

FormSpring.me is a more recent website created for people to be able to

ask each other questions and answer them either anonymously or by allowing

your name or screen name to be posted. The premise is that users can make

comments, posts, or ask questions without any censorship. That only allows for

bullies to be able to harass anonymously and post whatever they want. A recent

story from West Islip, New York reported the suicide of 17-year-old Alexis

Pilkington as a victim of being cyberbullied on FormSpring.com.

“The site (Formspring.me) appears to foster the open sharing of hateful,

profanity- and obscenity-laced statements – against the page owner, against peers

(ostensibly from school), and against others who have asked questions. Some

even include clear encouragements for others to kill themselves and thereby make

the world a better place. These statements circulate in a whirlwind of middle-

school and high-school drama that kids can easily get swept up in – to a point

where it consumes their life.”(www.cyberbullying.us).

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Responsibility Beyond the Playground

Schools as well as parents need to be involved in the monitoring of

cyberbullying. Although most school officials feel that they have no control over

what is done outside of school grounds, the problem becomes theirs when it

extends into the school, whether it involves school functions or socially. In a

study on cyberbullying, it was reported that 60% of victims of school-based

cyberbullying retaliated against their aggressor(s) at school, 12 percent were

online, and 28 percent reported both school and online. (Juvonen & Gross, 2008).

“Cyberspace is not a separate risky environment…it is a forum that

extends the school grounds.” (Juvonen & Gross, 2008). Where does the school’s

responsibility end when it comes to bullying, whether online or on the

playground? This seems to be the controversy.

Brookfield’s Vice Principle, Susan Griffin, stated that they had no

authority over what happens outside of the school, unless it was to carry over into

the school grounds. Griffin further stated that due to privacy laws, they were

unable to make the terms of discipline public, or discuss details of any school

incidents as it pertained to each student, only to state that it would involve a

suspension from one to ten days.

“The “vast majority of electronic aggression appears to be experienced and perpetrated away from school grounds,” but carries real and serious consequences for children at school,

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including higher incidences of in-school discipline, truancy, emotional distress, and feeling unsafe at school.” (Camassar)

When asked if there was any type of follow up to the student who bullied,

such as mandatory in-school counseling or a school-based program as to helping

the bully, she said they were not required to do so. It would appear that without

rehabilitation for the perpetrator, the likelihood of the student repeating his/her

behavior will only continue.

Education and uniform training of school administrators is essential in the

prevention and intervention of bullying, as well as cyberbullying. Too often,

bullying is “common knowledge” and teachers and faculty are not given the

proper training, skills or programs available to address it. During a recent visit to

local schools, and using random inquiry, several middle school and high school

students were asked if they knew anyone at their school who was bullied. They

all answered yes, and they knew the student’s name, and who was doing the

bullying. This can only lead one to believe that schools are very much aware of

the extent of bullying in their schools.

All schools have student handbooks that are to be reviewed and read by

both parents and students. The following are examples of middle and high school

student handbooks, and bullying.

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Student Handbooks:

Whisconier Middle School Brookfield, CT 06804

Grades 5-8

“Bullying of a student by another student is prohibited. “Bullying” means any overt acts by a student of a group of students directed against another student with the intent to ridicule, humiliate or intimidate the other student while on school grounds or at a school-sponsored activity which acts are repeated against the same student over time. Such behavior will result in disciplinary steps as per BOE policy 5131.911.” (WMS Student Handbook 2009-2010)

Basically, the Board Of Education has required all Connecticut schools to

implement a program that will define bullying, require school staff to investigate,

report, and address all instances of bullying through a definitive prevention and

intervention program which includes disciplinary action.

Some argue that the policy and Connecticut statutes regarding bullying are

too vague. For example, there is no mention of bullying via the internet, texting,

and any social websites that have become an all too common forum for children

and teens. Questions that need to be addressed are: At what point does the

cyberbullying interfere with school; and if it happens off school property, what

legal obligations does the school have to intervene.

In comparing the student handbooks between Whisconier Middle School

and Brookfield High School, the policy on bullying was comparatively ‘lean’, not

as descriptive. It maybe because most of the children would have been exposed

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to the policy and rules against bullying in their four years at middle school, where

bullying appears to be most prevalent, as compared to high school-aged students.

According to Deane Renda, principle of WMS in Brookfield, he says “that

bullying is common in all middle schools with 99% of it happening during

unstructured times; hallways, bus, cafeteria etc., rarely in front of school staff.”

In a most recent incident, a student was verbally bullying another student

repeatedly and warranted a two-day suspension. There was a meeting which

involved the parents.

According to Renda, the middle school addresses the students regarding

bullying via discipline assemblies. “This involves the school counselors

providing lessons that address bullying, cyberbulling, etc. Our health teachers

have lessons on this topic also.” Local Brookfield police officer, Gary Gramling,

volunteer Kelly Mullins from the Women’s Center of Greater Danbury speak to

students, as well as a Connecticut State Police officer specifically addresses

cyberbullying, said Renda. “The biggest problem students deal with is the

internet and cyberbullying because (students) say things they wouldn’t in person,”

said Renda.

Rebeca Delgado, has been a school counselor for 8 years, currently

working Brookfield High School, has seen an increase in internet bullying. When

bullying occurs in the school it is primarily handled through the assistant

principle. According to Delgado, she works with students being victimized

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talking it through with them and following up via reporting to school

administrators and families when appropriate. “I have also worked with the

bullies, again not on the disciplinary end, but handling the conversations about

why they are behaving in the way they are.”

Bullying leads to unsafe schools and “hostile school environment” where

consequences of bullying have been connected to well known school shootings in

recent years. (Quiroz). When schools do not take a proactive role, they in turn are

condoning the behavior and setting the standard of acceptance, very much like the

Bystander. Schools need to implement a program that promotes the standards of

“civility.” (Quiroz).

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Conclusion

Middle school-aged children are experiencing the greatest impact of

cyberbullying because as adolescents they are “developing a social understanding

which evolves from thinking about them self, to thinking of others.” (Donohoe,

2005). They are trying to discover who they are and do not necessarily concern

themselves with anything beyond their ‘own world.’ Many children who engage

in electronic harassment are not aware of the repercussions of their hurtful

actions. Parents and adults have an obligation to teach children respect and

socially acceptable behavior to avoid potential cyberbullying.

Ultimately, the entire responsibility cannot fall upon the schools, but rather

it is imperative that parents, as well as teachers and school administrators,

understand the full aspects and ramifications of the unsupervised use of the

internet and technologies when it concerns children. Children learn morals and

ethics from their parents and other family members early on in life and that needs

to carry-over into their school and social life.

Today’s parents lead very busy lives where generally both parents are

working, leaving little time to keep track of their children’s online activities. The

reality is that as of September 2008 more than 80% of Americans had a computer

in their homes, and of those, almost 92% have internet access according to The

Nielson Company, a marketing research company.

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Most children admit that there is little to no parental supervision as to what

they are doing, or where they are going, on the internet, or with whom they are

texting on their cell phones. Technology is advancing our ability to communicate

and explore vast opportunities and endless places on the internet: But with that

comes the prospect for abuse, deceit and corruption.

When a teenager is obtaining a driver’s license to operate a car, they need

to be educated on how to operate the vehicle (current technology), learn the rules

of the road (laws and rules of acceptable internet use), and be able to interpret the

road signs (navigate safely on the Web). Just as an unlicensed teen would not be

allowed to drive a car anywhere, with anyone or at anytime; neither should they

be allowed to use their computer or cell phone in the same irresponsible manner.

Cyberbullying is like a fire that if left unattended will burn wildly out of

control. Until there is a way to legally regulate or police the internet it is the

ultimate responsibility of parents, schools and adults in our community to educate

and supervise our children when it involves the internet.

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