I went to a relatively prestigious college well known for having the most medical school applicants in the

US. Therefore, I thought I was going to be around people who were as passionate about helping people

as I was. I thought it was going to be a caring community and we were all going to have the “grow

together” attitude like I was told happened in college. I got smacked in the face with reality. Everyone

was extremely competitive, isolated, rude, and didn’t care about anyone but themselves. I’ll start with a

few examples. The clubs were on basically on a grading system where, if you have the most points

compared to everyone else (which you can earn for coming to the meetings, fundraisers, etc.) you can

participate in the activity. This was even the case in volunteering clubs. It went as far as to even get into

some clubs you had to go through a “rush” of sort not unlike the Greek system, then an interview, and

finally, you were either accepted or declined a spot. Additionally, my classmates refused to ever help or

collaborate with their peers. For instance, I once asked someone during class if they heard what the

teacher just said and they ignored me and even went as far as to shield their notebook. It was simply

things like holding the door for another, saying “excuse me” when you walk in front of someone, not

talking loudly on your cell phone in a public place, or saying hi or, god forbid, have a conversation with

another freshman that was completely alien to the people that attended this school. The worst of it was

when I asked people why they wanted to be in the medical field, the main reason we were all there in

the first place. The responses were “because my parents expect me to,” “they make good money,” or “I

want to become famous.” While I can handle rudeness and every other thing mentioned above, these

responses tipped me over the edge. It made me realize that we are now in a world that is purely

materialistic and cold.

I tried to not be so cynical, so I looked towards the actual physicians that worked in the college’s world-

class hospital. That’s how I ended up at a roundtable with physicians and medical students discussing

what was supposed to be about children and providing healthcare abroad. First I must tell you that my

mother is a nurse. So I am used to talking about patients: what happened to them, how it happened,

how you help it, and how their character probably influenced the situation that they were in and how

their stay went at the hospital. So I was expecting something similar like discussions about interesting

cases the physicians had abroad (especially involving children), inspiring stories about survivors and

caregivers, how the lack of certain supplies and abundance of other supplies was a learning experience,

and so on. However, the whole two hours we focused on the research they had done and what they

published. Now, research is incredibly important and it is what makes us advance, particularly in the

medical field. But the fact that all five of the physicians only talked about it and the medical students

only had questions about research made me feel hopeless. These were people in the field of helping

others, and, again, they were focused on things that appeared superficial, in my opinion. I would like to

extend that too to the majority of my professors. You could tell that many of them had never taken a

teaching class before and were primarily there for research due to how many times they referenced it in

a lecture. Even talking with students seemed strenuous on the professor, say, if you had a particular

question after class and, therefore, they were unapproachable which added to the overall isolation.

So, as you can tell, I was crushed and that’s just a few things that happened. I was contemplating my

life-long dream of being in the medical field and even attending college for that matter. I realized that

during all of this, I even started to emulate my peer’s mannerisms, attitudes, and overall lifestyle. So I

quit. After the first quarter, I moved back home. I was hopeful that I would have the courage to go back

for third quarter, but this was something I couldn’t even contemplate doing. However, being home

changed things. It made me realize that that world I was in doesn’t reflect everyone. The reason I

thought college was going to be all of those wonderful things was because that’s actually what does

happen in most cases. Why I expected more from the doctors and physicians is because there are many,

many wonderful people in both professions. Why I was shocked at people’s mannerisms at school was

because there are people, every day, who go out of their way to be courteous and kind to one another

regardless if they are strangers. People truly are loving, caring, thoughtful, passionate and so much

more.

I realize now it hurt me because those traits are what I cherish and hold closest to me. So to be around

all of these people who, in my opinion, were the exact opposite, showed me that maybe everything that

I thought was important couldn’t be important because of how the world actually works. That that part

of myself had to be eradicated and, therefore, nothing mattered. Who would keep the door open for

anyone else if the whole point is to get your body through the door? Who would care about having an

intellectual conversation when learning the facts is going to get you the A+ in class? Who cares about

what your profession is when all it is is a way for you to gain something superficial such as money and

fame? But I think the majority of people are better than that. However, I’ll be honest with you, it’s

something that still stands out to me like a sore thumb. It keeps me up at night wondering why

humanity is so obsessed with social media, or why celebrities are cherished like they found a cure to

Ebola, or why advertising truly is beneficial to companies. But I like to see it that way now as truly a sore

thumb- something that is different from everything else around it. I like to think that the things I find

most valuable in life are what others find most valuable too, because, just like my ideals about college

and professionals, I had to learn it somewhere.