Erasing THE END

Helping Students Embrace RE-vision

But first, let’s play!

Make something…

Please do not do this….

Revision is like playing with play-doh…

How many of you were content to make just one thing and then stopped?

How many made something, and then something else, and then something else, and then something else?

Quick Draw & Write!

1) From a teacher’s point of view, draw your expression when you plan

to teach … “Revision”

Then, write a sentence or two explaining why you have that

expression on your face.

FLIP IT OVER!

2) From a teacher’s point of view, draw your typical student’s expression

when they hear the word … “Revision”

Finally, write a sentence or two explaining why they have this expression.

Re-vision – what is it really?

Help from our friends…

Dictionary & Thesaurus!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

(REVISE)

My Beliefs/Contentions• In spite of some feelings associated with revision, it

is a very natural, ongoing, decision-making process

• Teaching students to use an inquiry approach to writing helps foster ownership and strengthens self-esteem

• Revision encourages children to use higher order thinking skills

“I am rewriting it while I’m writing it. It’s changing itself.” ~ Max Apple

A few confessions … and revisions!• Former Mentality:

‘Revision is the step they take in the writing process before they edit, but after the first draft. They need to practice revising every piece of writing. If they add something or take something out, it’s revising it, right?’

Results: Kids were adding a sentence or taking out two words…

• Bright Shiny New Mentality!

‘Revision starts before thoughts hit the paper. We’re shaping our writing all the time! Revising can start anywhere or everywhere. Not all pieces will go through the whole writing process. I need to teach them strategies they can use to take a secondsecond look. Re – vision.’

Revising can bring up feelings…

“She just wants to ‘fix’ me.”

“ I’m just doing this because I have to.”

“Did I change it enough?”

“What if you don’t like it?”

“I like it the way it is. Leave it alone.”

“I said, ‘THE END’.”

“I guess I can change it.”

“This is supposed to be good for me,

right?”

Opening the Door…• Picture of closed door

Writers do this all the time!

When you’re thinking and you change your mind you’re revising!

The choice of ‘where’ to revise is yours.

“When you think you’re done, you’ve just begun.” – Lucy Calkins

“Revising isn’t ‘fixing’ your writing. It’s making good writing even better.”

- Cunningham/Allington

Are we willing to step into the fog?

Adding Snapshots or Thoughtshots

Snapshot – The Magic Camera! You can get up close to see, smell, and

hear parts of the story. You can zoom in on close physical

detail.

6th grade student example…

Thoughtshot – A person’s (character’s) thoughts and feelings.

Thoughtshots frame the story, giving the reader context.

(Usually found in the first sentences of paragraphs)

Ex. Great Gilly Hopkins

Ready, Set, Sort!

With your group, decide how you will sort the cards into thoughtshots and snapshots.

You have: a pair of scissors Who will do each part?

a sheet of “cards” Will you do some parts together?

a T chart How will you include everyone?

glue

team members

All Members: Be ready to tell me why and how you sorted each card.

Listening for ‘thoughts’ and ‘snaps’

Pink = thoughtshots

Green = snapshots

Now YOU get to try it! On PINK

* Write a thoughtshot for this kid!

On GREEN

*Create a shapshot describing what’s on the floor.

Making a scene…

Your writing might have a great place to insert dialogue! Look for places you want to ‘spice up’. BAM!

You can…

add words

add a snapshot to zoom in

add a thoughtshot to reveal

feelings and secret thoughts

A Secret REAL Life Drama!

Actors:

Person A

Person B

Voice for person A

Thoughts for person A

Voice for person B

Thoughts for person B

Snapshot Painter!

Director

Using Your Writing

Revise/revision your writing by adding:

at least one snapshot (physical picture that can include

sights, smells, sounds)

at least one thoughtshot (thoughts of feels of a character)

dialogue is optional

**** please build a tower of cubes by adding one to

your pile each time you add a snap or thought shot.****

An Inquiry Approach – asking question

Get out your eraser! It’s time to ask a few questions.

A question is _____________

A statement is _____________

Great Questions

Can’t be answeredyes or no.

Ask for specific information.

Help the author fill in the gaps.

A Group Effort – revising a classic!

SPOT PLAYED. DICK

PLAYED WITH SPOT."LOOK AT ME," SAID JANE. "I WANT TOPLAY" DICK SAID, "GOOD, YOU MAY PLAY,JANE. YOU MAY PLAY WITH ME." "LOOKHERE. LOOK AT ME," SAID JANE. DICKLOOKED AT JANE. DICK PLAYED WITHJANE. JANE PLAYED WITH DICK.

Using questions to write a lead…1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

Erasing THE END with a friend!

Ask FIVE good questions about the whole piece of writing or a section.

Computers Use a (1) to show where you’d ask a question. Record your questions at the bottom of the writing.

Paper Draw a ^ or (1) to show where you’d ask a question. Record your questions at the bottom too.

Revising your writing…

Make a choice!

a) revise your writing by answering peer questions

b) add your own questions & answer them

c) continue to use thoughtshots and shapshots

d) revise your writing in a different way

Questions?

ReferencesArlington, R. L. & Cunningham, P.M. 2007. Classrooms That Work: They

Can All Read and Write. Boston: Pearson.

Christenson, Teresa. 2002. Supporting Struggling Writers in the Elementary Classroom. Newark International Reading Association.

Fletcher, Ralph. 1993. What a Writer Needs. Portsmouth: Heinemann

Lane, Barry. 1993. After The End Teaching and Learning Creative Revision. Portsmouth: Heinemann

Kittle, Peter. 2003. Reading Practices as Revision Strategies: The Gossipy Reading Model. The Quarterly, 25 (3), 32 – 37.

Williams, Carla. 2005. Reading Deeper: The Legacy of Dick and Jane in the Work of Clarissa Sligh.Image, 38 (2), 3 – 4.

Websites

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Bibliography To Be Continued…Photos:

http://www.gale.cengage.com/images/reference/bandd/2006_10_bandd_Thesaurus.jpg

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_bF_FDlJKeFUBByOjzbkF/SIG=12koudo0l/EXP=1246978117/**http%3A//www.slashgear.com/gallery/data_files/2/8/1/dictionary.jpg

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_bDoKEVJKMn8BDzajzbkF/SIG=1206rm3in/EXP=1246978698/**http%3A//www.exubero.com/ant/pix/questions.jpg

http://thm-a01.yimg.com/image/aba520abb910ea7e

http://www.flickr.com/photos/colleenv218/3367146060/

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTefM7hVFK8x8A876jzbkF/SIG=12oa4pf11/EXP=1246942907/**http%3A//www.fundamentalsfourkids.com/images_home/gwh_playdough_sm.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2089/2041195788_57c2729ac7.jpg?v=0

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3544/3521161329_9dd097a6f0.jpg?v=1242043981http://www.sci.sdsu.edu/chaamp/images/sadchild2.jpg

http://kidzone.blogosfere.it/images/home_sad-child.jpg

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