EQ PP1

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)Emotional Intelligence- Providing you with a skill set designed for the 21st century

Think about how the following statements apply to you:

1. When I am frustrated I can pinpoint why

2. I am generally happy about who I am

3. I recognise and value my own self- worth

4. I tend to avoid confrontations because it makes me anxious

5. I can understand how others in a particular situation might be feeling

6. During a heated argument I am more likely to shut down and say nothing than discuss my feelings or make my opinions heard

8. I criticise others instead of reflecting on my own behaviour

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmz9Yb9dWck




What is EQ? “Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them,”

says Howard Gardner, the influential Harvard theorist.

What does it involve? Researchers have developed 5 main areas of focus for EQ Programmes:

1. Self – Awareness

2. Self – Regulation

3. Motivation

4. Communication Skills

5. Empathy

A Skill set for the 21st century Employers now desire possible candidates to have a particular “21st century skill set” which requires candidates to be

Personal Literacy (Self- Awareness) To show personal and social responsibility (Self- Management) Ways of working with others (showing empathy, social skills, motivating themselves and others)

Effective communicators Problem solvers In essence, employers want to hire people who are Emotionally Intelligent

How we will provide you with this skill set: We propose a program of 5 workshops to introduce you to, and give you a working understanding of the 5 main areas of EQ Having attended the workshops you will, effectively, have another set of skills that give you even more of an advantage over other candidates in any application process, university or employment YOU WILL be more equipped to deal with daily issues that may arise

1. Self- Awareness; Recognizing your own self worth Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings.

The major elements of self-awareness are:

1. Emotional awareness. Your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects.

2. Self-confidence and self -worth.

2. Self- Management; Controlling emotions and “getting over it” Self-Management involves:

1. You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors,

2. Manage your emotions in healthy ways,

3. Follow through on commitments,

4. Adapt to change

5. Overcoming stress

6. Taking responsibility

3. Motivation & Controlling Negative Thoughts

Motivation is made up of:

1. Achievement drive. Your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence.

2.Controlling your negative thoughts.

3. Initiative. Readying yourself to act on opportunities.

4. Optimism. Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.

4. Empathy The ability to recognize how people feel is important to success in your life and relationships.

1. Understanding and relating to others. Discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others.

2. Considering others and their needs when making decisions

3. Recognizing another person’s “map of reality”

5. Communication Skills using NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) “People skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with others as a Global Citizen.

Among the most useful skills are:

1. Communication. Sending clear messages using NLP.

2. Managing Relationships

3. Conflict management.

Why do I want to do this?While I believe that academics are important, giving young people the confidence to overcome issues in their lives and prepare them for life outside of College has become another passion of mine.

My own experiences with life- the importance of self- esteem

Master NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Practitioner

GEMS accredited Trainer (NLP for Teachers)

Why should you do this? 1. This is providing you with a skill set high in demand, highlighted as a necessity Global networks and companies

2. Do you want to become a better Self- Manager?

3. Would you like to be a more effective communicator?

4. Do you want to develop your self- confidence?

5. Do you want to learn how to resolve conflict in your relationships?

6. Do you want to be able to relate with people on a more emotional level, resulting in a better work environment?

7. Do you feel you get stressed or anxious easily?

8. How would it be if could motivate yourself and others more?

9. Are you worried about change and how to deal with it?

10. Would you like to feel more positive about things at the moment?

What this is not!

This is not a form of counselling or therapy, don’t worry!

Mrs Gregory is our wonderful College Counselor

What do I need to do next? This is purely voluntary, not compulsory! Decide if you want to take part These are your workshops so you decide when they should take place

Ask Questions

EQ Workshop 1:Developing Self- AwarenessObjective: To recognise your own self worth, identify your emotions and begin to develop triggers to change negative emotions

Gentle Reminder…. Please be respectful of other people’s opinions and any comments made during these sessions.

These workshops are designed to encourage each one of you to become more self- aware and more reflective

Please respect other people’s privacy

Recognise how you are feeling at the moment… be specific!

Click icon to add picture

How would you like to feel by the end of the session?

Controlling Negative ThoughtsRemember that your thoughts control your feelings, so one of the most powerful tools you can possess is the ability to control your thoughts. Negative thoughts don’t help you. Let’s look at some Thinking Errors and how we can tackle them

The following are examples of Thinking Errors 1. Catastrophisation – “This is the worst day of my life”!!!!

2. Double Standards- “it’s ok for X to do that, but not ok for me”

3. All or Nothing/ Black and White- “my holiday was rubbish, nothing good happened”

4.Mind Reading- “I know she doesn’t like me because she didn’t say hello to me this morning”

5. Fact versus Feeling- “I’m feeling X, this must be the reality”

6. Over Generalisation- “I didn’t get high marks in my last Maths test, I’m useless at all Maths”

7. Labelling- “Mr Bonnar locked his keys in his car, Mr B is stupid”

8. Unrealistic Expectations-” Mr Kesterton should know I don’t like those exercise books, he’s my boss, he should know these things”

Self Talk Close your eyes

Focus your attention inside; become aware of the level of self-talk that is taking place at this moment, that voice inside that comments on your thoughts, actions and emotions. Is it loud or soft? What tone do you use to speak to yourself?

Now pay attention to your emotional state, what emotions are present? Are you excited? Nervous? Happy? Upset?

Take an inventory of your thoughts and emotions every now and then and notice changes that come about because just by being more aware of your inner state you can change your outward behaviours and inner feelings (Daniel Goleman refers to this as the “Self- Awareness dimension of Emotional Intelligence”

Your mind affects your body and also your behaviours before you are even aware of it

Recognising your own self- worthBegin to complete the I with all the things that you are, all the things you have achieved, all the things that you are fantastic at

Becoming aware of your feelings:Think about how you are feeling right now… be specific……… How would you like to be feeling by the end of the session? How can we get there?? What would we need to change? Are other people responsible for this change?

What could you do to change how you are feeling?• Music

• Photos

• Happy memories

• Your successes

• Funny scenes from your favourite movie

Evaluation How did you find today?

What did you find useful about today?

What could have worked better?

Complete evaluation sheets

EQ Workshop 2:Developing Self- ManagementObjective: To identify and begin to apply resources available to you to help you overcome challenges, explain how you can use the 4As to deal with stress

Your Problem Wall


What resources do you have to “knock it down”? Or “Get over it”?

Overcoming your challenges or “The Wall” Successful people use the resources that are available to them, they see challenges as opportunities to apply themselves. Imagine the wall represents a problem you are facing. Using the resources available to you, how will you overcome this? Consider: People, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions which can help you..label each brick with one of the resources you have available to you…. What happens?

Control the Controllable to avoid stress The 4 As

Adapt Avoid Alter Accept Think of an issue that is currently causing you stress, how could you apply the 4As to help you?

Take Responsibility Who is responsible for how you feel? Who is responsible for your thoughts? Who is responsible for your actions? Remember, other people cannot cause you to be upset, sad, guilty etc, because YOU are responsible for YOU

Controlling your behaviour Think about how you react when things don’t go your way?

How would it be if you could control your behaviour more?

What would be a better choice of behaviour to exhibit?

EQ Workshop 3: MotivationObjective: To recognise and describe what motivates you, To set short and long term goals using the 3Ps

Think about something you do, What motivates you to do it?

Are you a carrot or stick person? Do you move towards things that you want? Or away from things you want to avoid?

Think about it……….

If you didn’t place any limitations on yourself, what goals would you set?

Where do you want to be? What stops you from getting there?What would have to happen in order for you to achieve those goals? What steps can you take NOW?

1. I want my own business

2. I want to have my own Life Coaching business set up in Dubai by January 2016. I’ve already got my qualifications and have started my research. I cannot wait for this challenge

Goal Setting using the 3 Ps

1. Precise

2. Present

3. Positive

The language you use in setting your goals is so important.

TASK: Set Mr Forsythe a goal for his next Triathlon using the 3Ps (swim 25mins, bike 1:20hour, 55 mins)

Make your goals SMART

Specific- what do you want? Milestones- what will they be? How will you know you’re on track? As now- keep them present (3Ps) Results- what will the results be? How will you know? What will you feel? Timed based- when? Timescale?

Specific

Milestones

As now

Results/Realistic

Timed based

How can I motivate others? How can I motivate my friend Marie to get out of bed at 5am to run with me?

EQ Workshop 4:Developing EmpathyObjective: Describe your own “map of reality”, develop the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes and discover the impact that our words and actions can have on others

Why is Empathy so important? Empathy is crucial for being able to deal with other people, indeed deficits in Empathy can lead to ineptness in the social world or repeated interpersonal disasters.

Social abilities allow one to shape an encounter, to mobilise and inspire others, to thrive in relationships, to persuade, to influence and to put others at ease.

People who are poor at sending and receiving emotional messages often have problems with relationships

People who are empathic and astute emotionally can connect with people quite smoothly, they can read and react to feelings, they lead, organise and handle disputes much better than those who are not attuned to feelings. They are natural leaders, they are the kinds of people others like to be with because they make others feel good

Your map of reality is how you view the world


It could be very different to how your friend views it………………

Empathy- Map of Reality By recognising somebody ‘s Map of Reality, you can empathise more with them because you know what’s important to them. It may not be important to you, but if it’s important to them, recognise it

Begin to create your map of Reality… what kind of things are important to you? How is your map of reality shaped? Through Family? Friends? Values? Beliefs? Experiences? Attitudes?

How could this help you to get along with other people better?

Let’s go for a walk in someone else’s shoesConsider the following statements in terms of how you could show empathy for someone in these situations

Empathy 1. I’ve just found out that my parents are splitting up

2. We’re leaving the country at the end of the year and I don’t want to tell my friends

3. I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning anymore and I don’t know why

4. My parents cannot afford for me to go to “a good university” and I’m constantly worried about it

5. There are 3 people in my year group who make my life hell each day and no one seems to care

6. I started a new diet a few weeks ago and it’s getting out of control

7. I want to tell someone about what happened, but I can’t

8. My parents don’t support my choice of career and won’t listen to me when I try to discuss it with them

EQ Workshop 5: Improving Communication Skills Objective: Explain and illustrate how to build rapport with others, demonstrate how to deal with conflict by acting assertively

What could we do to be more effective communicators? 1. You control the message and how you deliver it

2. Verbal and non-verbal communication (remember the 7%+38%+55% rule)

3. Build Rapport

4. Recognise and respect the other person’s Map of Reality

5. listen to the words that the other person uses

Building Rapport… Think of someone you get on really well with, why do you get on so well with them?

Communication is like a dance… what do dancers do?

Grab a partner and let’s build some rapport and get ready to dance.. The dance of Communication!

1. Mirroring

2. Matching

3. Leading

Using particular phrases to build rapport Visual people tend to use certain predicates, words or phrases in their language, as do Auditory and kinaesthetic people. Listen to your partner and pick up on the predicates or phrases they use and match them

See

Look

View

Appear

Show

Dawn

Reveal

Envision

Illuminate

Imagine

Clear

Foggy

Focused

Hazy

Crystal

picture

Hear

Listen

Sound(s)

Make music

Harmonize

Tune in/out

Be all ears

Rings a bell

Silence

Be heard

Resonate

Deaf

Mellifluous

Dissonance

Question

Unhearing

Feel

Touch

Grasp

Get hold of

Slip through

Catch on

Tap into

Make contact

Throw out

Turn around

Hard

Unfeeling

Concrete

scrape

get a handle

solid

Sense

Experience

Understand

Think

Learn

Process

Decide

Motivate

Consider

Change

Perceive

Insensitive

Distinct

Conceive

Know

Time to sell!

1. make a note of the customers “buying style” 2. Use this buying style to create a 30 second pitch to make a sale 3. consider your customers map of reality, communication style, rapport

Task: You are going to create a sales pitch for a dream houseTop tip: is your client mainly visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory (smell)

How would it be if you were heard more? Could you be more assertive?


Does being more assertive mean being more aggressive?

5 steps to take to be more assertive

Use the following model to practice being more assertive:

1. use the word “I” 2. Be direct 3. Express your feelings 4. Avoid “you” 5. offer a compromise

REMEMBER IT’S NOT ABOUT WINNING!

EQ PP1

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Transcript of EQ PP1