Successfully Use EQ to Identify “A-Players,” Keep Them and Achieve Personal Excellence

Eli University – March 2010

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“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work,

and learning from failure.”

-- General Colin PowellRetired 4 Star General

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What Does EI Stand For?

A. Emotional IndependenceB. Expensive InsuranceC. Emotional IntelligenceD. External InjusticeE. None of the Above

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Emotional Intelligence

What Does EQ Stand For?

A. Emotional QualityB. Expressive QuestioningC. Emotional QuotientD. External QualityE. None of the Above

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Emotional Quotient(a measurement of Emotional Intelligence)

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What is EQ?

“How we handle ourselves and others.”Daniel Goleman

Leading Author, EQ

“An array of non-cognitive (things other than intelligence) capabilities, competencies, and skills that influence one’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures.”

Reuven Bar-On, PhDPioneer and leading authority in EQ

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Which Plays a Bigger Role in Your Personal and Business Success?

•IQ (Intelligence)•EQ

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EQIQ gets you through your education whereas EQ gets you through your life.

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A. An EQ person uses his effective reasoning and emotions, knowing why and how to handle situations to the best effort by motivating one another.

B. An IQ person uses facts and figures, knowing only the situation, without having the ability to apply emotions towards human relationships. Thus, people with higher EQ tend to live happier, more successful lives.

The IQ/EQ Facts:• Your IQ is established in your mid-teens never

changes• IQ predicts only 10-20% of your life’s success• Two people with the same IQ can have

completely different levels of success. 

• Your EQ is NOT fixed, it can be developed even if you are not born with it. You can improve EQ throughout life if you work on it. Which means you control your destiny.

There are pages and pages and pages of research online regarding the benefits of EQ in business.

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Boost Your EQ for a Happier More Successful Life

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”

-- Aristotle

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Remember: EVERY decision is triggered by an Event and made based on an emotional response

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Result

Response in feelings and

behavior

Interpretations

Event

Personal Effectiveness:

Anything that happens that gets your attention. Your brains job is to assign meeting to events.

1. What is it?2. What does the event mean to me?

What are you making up, or choosing to believe about the event?

Pay particular attention to feelings that are different than positive or neutral

Are you getting the results you want? If not, what response do you have to

change to get different results? What interpretation do you have to

change to get a difference response.

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Decision for fight or flight happens at the Events stage

Events and “Fight or Flight”

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Correctly identifying an “Event” Allows you to respond for success and avoid getting trapped in fight or flight:

• Events just happen they are not personal

• Think of negative situations as JUST an event, it helps make a negative = neutral in your brain.

• You can be controlled by your events or control your response when event show up

• The #1 reason we stay in Fight or Flight is because we believe we are right and won’t reevaluate the situation

• Identify what you consider dangerous to prepare for it.

• Your brain is incapable of fight or flight response if you BREATH.

• Don’t “SHOULD” on yourself or others. Should = judgment = negative.

Conquer Your Subconscious with EQ

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Fill Your Vacant Seats on the Bus with “A Players” Every Time

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“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven

composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and

earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

-- Martin Luther King, Jr., (1929-1968)

• Choose a minimum of 6 EQ Areas

• Identify a minimum of 6 skills necessary

• Identify “Success Factors”

• Person Descriptions vs. Job Descriptions:▫ Less emphasis on specific duties and responsibilities▫ More emphasis on attributes, qualities and talents

Know WHO You Are Looking For

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Plan Your Interview• Choose Interview questions based on what you are

trying to find out: EQ specific questions Skill specific questions

• Rank questions in order of importance to be sure you get the answers you need.

• Prepare ranking sheet for each required EQ area and skill to use during interview

• If group interview, meet with other team members before to divide questions so all get asked

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Ranking Sheet Template Example:Note: Give each answer a grade from 1-5. 1=Excellent; 3= Average; 5= Unacceptable

Must have EQ Areas (ranked in order of importance):1. ________________________ 4. _________________________2.________________________ 5. _________________________3.________________________ 6. _________________________

Must have Skills (ranked in order of importance): 1. ________________________ 4. _________________________2.________________________ 5. _________________________3.________________________ 6. _________________________

EQ Questions:1. Question?

Candidate Answer from interview.Ranking #______

2. Question?Candidate Answer from interview.Ranking #______

Skill Questions?1. Question?

Candidate Answer from interview.Ranking #______

2. Question?Candidate Answer from interview.Ranking #______

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EQ Interview Tips• Prove it: Don’t just take your candidate’s word for it. Make

them give specific examples.

• Claims: Listen for “claims.” If you hear a “claim” ask the candidate, to site a specific example of it in the past. And don’t let them off.

• Behavior: Remember, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

• Listening: Listen 80% of the time. Don’t feel like you have to fill in silence gaps, silence can be good.

• Candidate’s Turn: Ask the candidate if they have any questions. ▫ Be sure to leave time for candidate questions. Remember they

are interviewing us too. ▫ Should the candidate come without questions, did they come

prepared?

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EQ Interview Questions

• Self-Regard:▫ What are your strengths (weaknesses) and how do you use them to your advantage?▫ Describe what kind of person others would say you are?

• Emotional Self-Awareness▫ Is it difficult or easy for you to know when you are getting anxious, scared, annoyed or angry?▫ What things do you feel really happy or sad about, and why?

• Assertiveness:▫ When you disagree with someone, what do you typically do?▫ Do you have difficulty standing up for your rights?▫ When someone’s behavior consistently bothers you, how do you usually react?

• Self-Actualization:▫ What are your short-term and long-term goals?▫ What things interest you and why?

• Empathy:▫ How difficult or easy is it for you to understand how people feel?▫ Do you usually know when you have said or done something that has offended someone? How do you

know? What do you do about it?

• Social Responsibility:▫ Can you give me an example of a situation where you considered the needs of others, possibly to your

own detriment?▫ Can you give me an example of how you behave as a team member?

• Interpersonal Relationship• When you are in a social situation with people you don’t know, what do you typically do?• What is the basis for a good work relationship, your opinion? What are the ingredients that go into it?

Note: After each question and candidate response, ask “Can you give me an example?” or “Why”

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• Stress Tolerance:• What tactics do you use to cope with everyday stress?• Can you give me an example of a work-related stressful situation that you coped with effectively?

• Impulse Control:• Can you give me an example of a situation in which you were very angry and what you did?• How do you typically deal with an impulse or temptation to act prematurely?

• Reality Testing:• Do you usually assume things and jump to conclusions, or do you check things out before acting?• Would others say you are more realistic or idealistic? Why?

• Flexibility:• Can you give me an example of when your opinion about a person or situation was clearly wrong,

and what you did?• Can you give me an example of how well you deal with change in general?

• Problem Solving:• Can you give me an example – step by step – of how you handled a difficult problem at work?• Is it generally easy or difficult for you to come up with a number of possibilities for approaching a

problem? How easy or difficult is it for you to decide on the best solution and implement it?• Optimism:

• How do you typically deal with failure? • Can you give me an example of a time where, in your opinion, you failed, how did you deal with that

situation? • How do you cope with pessimistic feelings.

• Happiness• If I were to ask your friends how you make them feel when they are around you, what would they

say?• Are you generally satisfied with the way things are presently going in your life?

Note: After each questions and candidate response, ask “Can you give me an example?” or “Why”

EQ Interview Questions continued…

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Harnessing EQ to Keep Your “A Players” Starts With You

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“You don’t lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower34th President of the United States

Your Role in Keeping “A players”• Emotion vs. Logic: Recognize that people are emotional first and

rational second – logic makes people think, emotions make people act.▫ #1 Emotional Need of Employees: They need to know what is expected of

them.

• Empathy: Realize the only way to manage emotions is through caring relationships – empathy is a key characteristic of “top quartile leaders.”

• You first: Emotions are contagious. Your role as a leader is to set the stage

• Honesty: You can’t hide your EQ and expect others to show theirs. This is where fierce conversations come in.

• Chameleon: Not everyone sees things the way you do. Try and look at issues through others eyes.

• Coaching: Don’t’ just coach because you have to. Make it mean something. Also, It is a two way street. People want to be heard.

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Company’s Role in Keeping “A Players”

▫ Distribution of Power Build minimal structure framework Utilize teams & collaborative networks

▫ Learning & Development Build environment safe for risk-takers (fail early and fail

often) Create numerous and various opportunities for learning

▫ Communication Clearly and continuously communicate value of EQ Remove barriers to open, interdepartmental communication

▫ Evaluation and Reward Reward risk taking and learning behaviors Include EI competencies into the coaching system Provide regular opportunities for honest feedback

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Employee Engagement Questions:

Question Response

I know what is expected of me at work.

I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work correctly.

At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best everyday

In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.

My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me.

There is someone at work who encourages my development.

At work, my opinions seem to count.

The mission/purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important.

My fellow Associates are committed to doing quality work.

In the last six months, someone has talked to me about my progress.

This last year, I have had opportunities to learn and grow.

Responses: 1. Strongly disagree; 2. Disagree; 3. Neither Agree or Disagree; 4. agree; 5. Strongly Agree.

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“There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he be willing to climb himself.”

Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)Industrial Leader

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The Cut Or Coach Model 5 Critical Components of Behavioral Change

• Information

• Skills

• Motivation

• Opportunity to Practice

• Reinforce and Reward

**If any of these are missing, you won’t be able to coaching/influence effectively.

• What information do you have about the required or requested change?

• Be very specific, if we don’t give specific information to staff, they don’t know. Use information/data vs. feedback.

• Include “Stop” “Start” and “Continue” in coaching.

• Do they have the skill necessary to make the change and do you and the company have the ability to facilitate the change?

• Yes: Set plan with specific measurable milestones and deadlines to see change occur. Also, if necessary set budget to facilitate change.

• No: No need to continue related to this job. The employee either needs to move to another seat on the bus, or get off the bus.

• Know your employee. Is their lack of performance a “will” issue. If so, walk away now.

• Identify gain AND cost to employee for change.

• What does the employee need to accomplish specifically (specificity here is key; you can’t just say improve your attitude, you must say you must stop gossiping, etc.)

• Determine how you are going to reinforce and reward the behavior change? Specify when you will follow up. And do it!

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"75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal

problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit

trust." 

-- The Center for Creative Leadership, 1994

“…many exceptionally intelligent leaders try to be the smartest person in the room and impose their views. They don’t get the best out of their people. Leadership is about much more than IQ, and requires you to develop yourself through the mosaic of all your experiences.”

-- Dick Kovacevich, Retired Chairman of the Board - Wells Fargo

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• Read Dale Carnegie – How to Win Friends and Influence People (if you’ve read it before, read it AGAIN).

• Take and EQ test: You can get a summary for free or pay $2.95 for the full report. http://testyourself.psychtests.com/staticid/189

• Read: Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More than IQ (Daniel Coleman)

• Read: Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers (Adele Lynn)

Things you can do:

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“Because of the furious pace of change in business today, difficult to manage relationships sabotage more business than anything else—it is not a question of strategy that gets us into trouble, it is a question of emotions.”

John Kotter, Harvard Business School

EQ Definitions Emotional Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one’s feelings and emotions, differentiate between them, and know what caused them and why.

Benefit: Promotes successful conflict resolution and leads to improved interaction between staff.

Assertiveness: Ability to express feelings (to accept and express anger, warmth), beliefs/thoughts (being able to voice opinions, disagree, and take a definite stand, even if it is emotionally difficult of you) and defend one’s rights (not allowing others to take advantage of you) - all in a nondestructive manner

Benefit: Helps individuals to work more cohesively and to share ideas effectively.

Self Regard: Ability to respect and accept oneself as basically good. Accept one’s perceived positive and negative aspects as well as one’s limitations and possibilities.

Benefit: Better work attitudes and behaviors. Better self confidence means better performance.

Self Actualization: Ability to realize one’s potential capabilities and to strive to do that which one wants to do and enjoys doing. Persistently trying to do what is best and trying to improve oneself in general.

Benefit: Connected with good motivation and team performance

Independence: Ability to be self-reliant and self-directed in one’s thinking and actions and to be free of emotional dependency; readily asks for advice from others, but isn’t dependant on that advice to make a decision.

Benefit: The proper balance to think for oneself and yet still listen to and utilize ideas from others when appropriate

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EQ Definitions continued…

Empathy: The ability to be aware of, to understand, and to appreciate the feelings of others. Benefit: Understanding the duties and demands of others creates cohesive functioning. Also, understanding other’s points of view will help improve team work.

Interpersonal Relationships: Ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by giving and receiving meaningful social interchanges that are potentially rewarding and enjoyable

Benefit: Effective communication within and between departments.

Social Responsibility: The ability to demonstrate oneself as cooperative, contributing and constructive member of a social group – even if one may not benefit personally.

Benefit: Successful contribution to recognized departmental and company goals.

Problem Solving: The ability to identify and define problems as well as to generate and implement potentially effective solutions.

Benefit: The methods used for problem solving is critical: viable alternative solutions must be considered, including a cost/benefit analysis and long-term implications.

Reality Testing: Ability to assess the correspondence between what is experienced (the subjective) and what in reality exists (the objective).

Benefit: Focus on practicality and not on unrealistic expectations.

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EQ Definitions continued…

Flexibility: Ability to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations and conditions

Benefit: Those staff high in flexibility perform better in positions where tasks are dynamic and changing. Those low in flexibility perform better in more well-defined tasked requiring reliability and consistency.

Stress Tolerance: The ability to withstand adverse events and stressful situations without “falling apart” by actively and positively coping with stress.

Benefit: Managing reasonable workloads, establishing clear priorities and meeting realistic deadlines

Impulse Control: Ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act.Benefit: Rash actions can be costly. Mistakes can often be avoided simply by taking time to stop and think.

Happiness: The ability to feel satisfied with one’s life, to enjoy oneself and others and to have fun.

Benefit: Positive moods lift spirits, create resonance and help overall performance

Optimism: The ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.

Benefit: Helps ward off stress while creating resonance that increases one’s productivity.

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