Epps Notes 2

8/17/2019 Epps Notes 2

1/45

EPPS Notes

Listening Skills

Listening is a very complex process that can be decomposed into five

main steps and sometimes some obstacles might interfere in this course

of action.

Step 1: HEARING

Hearing is a prerequisite step to the listening process. Simply put, in

this stage the sounds emitted by the speaker are received by listener ears.

In scientific words, when someone speaks, sounds waves are produced,

and after striking human auditory receptors circulate along the nervous

system pathways and reach different parts of the brain.Barriers: noisy surroundings, speaker’s tone and volume, hearing

deficiencies.

Step 2: ATTENDING

Attending is a mental and psychological effort which consists of

filtering sounds and auditory messages after an internal and/or external

stimuli. Afterwards, for the listener, it’s about choosing what sound he’s

going to focus his attention on and “prioritize” according to three main

factors:- Selectivity (On what sound to concentrate?),

- Strength (How well to concentrate),

- and Sustainment of his attention (for how long he can concentrate).

Barriers: conflicting priorities caused by multiple sources of sound,

inattention, stress and mental fatigue, pseudo-listening.

Step 3: UNDERSTANDING

Understanding implies attaching a meaning to the message received. In

this stage, the listener interprets and decodes verbal and non-verbalsignals sent by the speaker, based on his personal background. During

this part of the process, there are many factors that should be taken into

consideration: culture, education, language, social references and bias,

and mainly vocabulary.


2/45

Barriers: misinterpretation of words and non-verbal signals, lack of

interest.

Step 4: EVALUATING

Evaluating involves analyzing the information received in order to draw

proper conclusions. In this stage the listener tries to judge the most

objectively possible what was said and not said by the speaker,

determine the merit and the quality of the message based on personal

and general standards.

Barriers: emotions toward speaker, negative attitude, prejudice, closed-

mindedness, speaker’s appearance and mannerisms.

Step 5: RESPONDING

Responding is the reaction to the message sent by the speaker. It consistfirst in acknowledging the information received, and secondly providing

feedbacks to the audience with verbal answers or commentaries, and

physical responses such as laughs, smiles, gestures, head nodding, and

frowns.

Eight barriers to efective listening

More attention is usually paid to making people better

speakers or writers (the "supply side" of the

communication chain) rather than on making them better

listeners or readers (the "demand side"). The most direct

way to improve communication is by learning to listen

more eectively.

Nearly every aspect of human life could be improved by better listening

-- from family matters to corporate business affairs to international

relations.


3/45

Most of us are terrible listeners. We're such poor listeners, in fact, that

we don't know how much we're missing.

The following are eight common barriers to good listening, with

suggestions for overcoming each.

# ! nowing the answer

!nowing the answer means that you think you already know what the

speaker wants to say, before she actually finishes saying it. "ou might

then impatiently cut her off or try to complete the sentence for her.

#ven more disruptive is interrupting her by saying that you disagree withher, but without letting her finish saying what it is that you think you

disagree with. That's a common problem when a discussion gets heated,

and which causes the discussion to degrade $uickly.

%y interrupting the speaker before letting her finish, you're essentially

saying that you don't value what she's saying. &howing respect to the

speaker is a crucial element of good listening.

The knowing the answer barrier also causes the listener to pre-udge

what the speaker is saying -- a kind of closed-mindedness.

( good listener tries to keep an open, receptive mind. )e looks for

opportunities to stretch his mind when listening, and to ac$uire new

ideas or insights, rather than reinforcing e*isting points of view.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier ( simple strategy for overcoming the knowing the answer barrier is to

wait for three seconds after the speaker finishes before beginning your

reply.


4/45


5/45

perceives to be the speaker's problem. onse$uently, he misses what the

speaker is actually saying.

(n old /en proverb says, When walking, walk. When eating, eat. 0n

other words, give your whole attention to whatever you're doing. 0t's

worth emphasi1ing that the goal of good listening is simply to listen --

nothing more and nothing less. 0nterrupting the speaker in order to offer

advice disrupts the flow of conversation, and impairs the listener's

ability to understand the speaker's e*perience.

Many people have a messiah comple* and try to fi* or rescue other

people as a way of feeling fulfilled. &uch people usually get a kick out of being problem-solvers, perhaps because it gives them a sense of

importance. )owever, that behavior can be a huge hurdle to good

listening.

Trying to be helpful while listening also implies that you've made certain

udgments about the speaker. That can raise emotional barriers to

communication, as udgments can mean that the listener doesn't have

complete understanding or respect for the speaker.

0n a sense, giving a person your undivided attention while listening is the

purest act of love you can offer. %ecause human beings are such social

animals, simply knowing that another person has listened and


6/45

understood is empowering. ften that's all a person needs in order to

solve the problems on his or her own.

0f you as a listener step in and heroically offer your solution, you're

implying that you're more capable of seeing the solution than the

speaker is.

0f the speaker is describing a difficult or long-term problem, and you

offer a facile, off-the-cuff solution, you're probably forgetting that he or

she may have already considered your instant solution long before.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier

&chedule a separate session for giving advice. Many people forget that

it's rude to offer advice when the speaker isn't asking for it. #ven if the

advice is good.

0n any case, a person can give better advice if he first listens carefully

and understands the speaker's complete situation before trying to offer

advice.

0f you believe you have valuable advice that the speaker isn't likely to

know, then first politely ask if you may offer what you see as a possible

solution. Wait for the speaker to clearly invite you to go ahead before

you offer your advice.

#' ! Treating discussion as competition

&ome people feel that agreeing with the speaker during a heated

discussion is a sign of weakness. They feel compelled to challenge every

point the speaker makes, even if they inwardly agree. +iscussion then

becomes a contest, with a score being kept for who wins the most points

by arguing.


7/45

Treating discussion as competition is one of the most serious barriers to

good listening. 0t greatly inhibits the listener from stretching and seeing

a different point of view. 0t can also be frustrating for the speaker.


(lthough competitive debate serves many useful purposes, and can be

great fun, debating should be scheduled for a separate session of its own,

where it won't interfere with good listening.

#*cept in a very rare case where you truly disagree with absolutely

everything the speaker is saying, you should avoid dismissing her

statements completely. 0nstead, affirm the points of agreement.

Try to voice active agreement whenever you do agree, and be very

specific about what you disagree with.

( good overall listening principle is to be generous with the speaker.

ffer affirmative feedback as often as you feel comfortable doing so.

2enerosity also entails clearly voicing e*actly where you disagree, as

well as where you agree.

# ! Trying to inuence or impress

%ecause good listening depends on listening ust for the sake of

listening, any ulterior motive will diminish the effectiveness of the

listener. #*amples of ulterior motives are trying to impress or to

influence the speaker.

( person who has an agenda other than simply to understand what the

speaker is thinking and feeling will not be able to pay complete attention

while listening.


8/45

3sychologists have pointed out that people can understand language

about two or three times faster than they can speak. That implies that a

listener has a lot of e*tra mental bandwidth for thinking about other

things while listening. ( good listener knows how to use that sparecapacity to think about what the speaker is talking about.

( listener with an ulterior motive, such as to influence or impress the

speaker, will probably use the spare capacity to think about his ne*t

move in the conversation -- his rebuttal or what he will say ne*t when

the speaker is finished -- instead of focusing on understanding the

speaker.


Trying to influence or impress is a difficult barrier to overcome,

because motives usually can't ust be willed away. +eciding not to have

a motive usually only drives it beneath your awareness so that it

becomes a hidden motive.

ne strategy is to make note of your internal motives while you're

listening. (s you notice your motives in progressively closer and finer

detail, you'll eventually become more fully conscious of ulterior

motives, and they may even unravel, allowing you to let go and listen

ust for the sake of listening.

#* ! +eacting to red ag words

Words can provoke a reaction in the listener that wasn't necessarily what

the speaker intended. When that happens the listener won't be able tohear or pay full attention to what the speaker is saying.

http://www.sklatch.net/thoughtlets/intuition.htmlhttp://www.sklatch.net/thoughtlets/intuition.html


9/45

4ed flag words or e*pressions trigger an une*pectedly strong association

in the listener's mind, often because of the listener's private beliefs or

e*periences.

Technology is often seen as the driver of improved

communications, but technology, in itself, creates noise

and discord as much as it melds minds.

2ood listeners have learned how to minimi1e the distraction caused by

red flag words, but a red flag word will make almost any listener

momentarily unable to hear with full attention.

(n important point is that the speaker may not have actually meant the

word in the way that the listener understood. )owever, the listener will

be so distracted by the red flag that she will not notice what the speaker

actually did mean to say.

4ed flag words don't always provoke emotional reactions. &ometimes

they ust cause slight disagreements or misunderstandings. Whenever a

listener finds himself disagreeing or reacting, he should be on thelookout for red flag words or e*pressions.


When a speaker uses a word or e*pression that triggers a refle*ive

association, you as a good listener can ask the speaker to confirm

whether she meant to say what you think she said.

When you hear a word or e*pression that raises a red flag, try to stop theconversation, if possible, so that you don't miss anything that the speaker

says. Then ask the speaker to clarify and e*plain the point in a different

way.

#- ! elieving in language


10/45

ne of the trickiest barriers is believing in language -- a misplaced

trust in the precision of words.

5anguage is a guessing game. &peaker and listener use language to

predict what each other is thinking. Meaning must always be actively

negotiated.

0t's a fallacy to think that a word's dictionary definition can be

transmitted directly through using the word. (n e*ample of that fallacy

is revealed in the statement, 0 said it perfectly clearly, so why didn't you

understand6. f course, the naive assumption here is that words that are

clear to one person are clear to another, as if the words themselvescontained absolute meaning.

Words have a uni$ue effect in the mind of each person, because each

person's e*perience is uni$ue. Those differences can be small, but the

overall effect of the differences can become large enough to cause

misunderstanding.

( worse problem is that words work by pointing at e*periences shared by speaker and listener.

0f the listener hasn't had the e*perience that the speaker is using the word

to point at, then the word points at nothing. Worse still, the listener may

$uietly substitute a different e*perience to match the word.


"ou as a good listener ought to practice mistrusting the meaning ofwords. (sk the speaker supporting $uestions to cross-verify what the

words mean to him.

+on't assume that words or e*pressions mean e*actly the same to you as

they do to the speaker. "ou can stop the speaker and $uestion the


11/45


12/45

transition from one thought to another -- a problem that $uickly shows

up in their writing, as well.

7orest people, on the other hand, often baffle their listeners with

obscure abstractions. They tend to prefer using concepts, but sometimes

those concepts are so removed from the world of the senses that their

listeners get lost.

Trees people commonly accuse forest people of going off on

tangents or speaking in unwarranted generalities. 7orest people

commonly feel that trees people are too narrow and literal.


"ou as a good listener can e*plicitly ask the speaker for overall conte*t

or for specific e*emplary details, as needed. "ou should cross-verify by

asking the speaker how the trees fit together to form the forest. )aving

an accurate picture of how the details fit together is crucial to

understanding the speaker's thoughts.

(n important point to remember is that a trees speaker may becomeconfused or irritated if you as the listener try to supply missing conte*t,

and a forest speaker may become impatient or annoyed if you try to

supply missing e*amples.

( more effective approach is to encourage the speaker to supply missing

conte*t or e*amples by asking him open-ended $uestions.

(sking open-ended $uestions when listening is generally more effectivethan asking closed-ended ones.

7or e*ample, an open-ended $uestion such as an you give me a

concrete e*ample of that6 is less likely to cause confusion or


13/45

disagreement than a more closed-ended one such as Would such-and-

such be an e*ample of what you're talking about6

&ome speakers may even fail to notice that a closed-ended $uestion is

actually a $uestion. They may then disagree with what they thought was

a statement of opinion, and that will cause distracting friction or

confusion.

The strategy of asking open-ended $uestions, instead of closed-ended or

leading $uestions, is an important overall component of good listening.

#1 ! 2ver!splitting or over!lumping

&peakers have different styles of organi1ing thoughts when e*plaining

comple* situations. &ome speakers, splitters, tend to pay more

attention to how things are different. ther speakers, lumpers, tend to

look for how things are alike. 3erhaps this is a matter of temperament.

0f the speaker and listener are on opposite sides of the splitter-lumper

spectrum, the different mental styles can cause confusion or lack of

understanding.

( listener who is an over-splitter can inadvertently signal that he

disagrees with the speaker over everything, even if he actually agrees

with most of what the speaker says and only disagrees with a nuance or

point of emphasis.

That can cause noise and interfere with the flow of conversation.

5ikewise, a listener who is an over-lumper can let crucial differences of

opinion go unchallenged, which can lead to a serious misunderstanding

later. The speaker will mistakenly assume that the listener has

understood and agreed.


14/45

0t's important to achieve a good balance between splitting 8critical

thinking9 and lumping 8metaphorical thinking9. #ven more important is

for the listener to recogni1e when the speaker is splitting and when she is

lumping.


(n approach to overcoming this barrier when listening is to ask

$uestions to determine more precisely where you agree or disagree with

what the speaker is saying, and then to e*plicitly point that out, when

appropriate.

7or e*ample, you might say, 0 think we have differing views on several points here, but do we at least agree that ... 6 or We agree with each

other on most of this, but 0 think we have different views in the area

of ....

%y actively voicing the points of convergence and divergence, the

listener can create a more accurate mental model of the speaker's mind.

That reduces the conversational noise that can arise when speaker and

listener fail to reali1e how their minds are aligned or unaligned.

:oice-3itch

Modulating your voice means moving the pitch up and down. The

alternative is to keep an even pitch throughout the sentence, which at

best will sound odd and at worst dull, boring or confusing.

Pitch change( change in fre$uency in speaking tone provides the listener with a

signal that something is happening. Modulation can thus be used to

enhance emphasis in words, with rising and lowering tones adding subtle

meaning.


15/45

3oing down for authority

( downwards pitch adds authority to a sentence. 0t gives imperative that

seeks un$uestioning acceptance. To go down, you need to be up, so

gradually increase the pitch of your voice beforehand to give yourselfthe ability to suddenly drop the pitch on an important point. The pitch of

the sentence may thus go up and down several times as key words are

emphasi1ed.

You know, it has now become important that you work harder so you can

support your family.

5ooking back at this sentence, the emphasi1ed, low-pitched words stand

out and combine together to form the key message that you want to get

across.

3oing up for engagement

(n upwards pitch adds interest to a sentence. 0t $uestions and provokes

engagement and response. 2oing up starts from a medium or low pitch.

"ou thus cannot stay at this involving level for long. &ometimes when people want to invite the other person they will use a fragmented

sentence that contains several rising-pitch words to repeated the

invitation.

I was just wondering...whether you would like...maybe to come today?

Repetition

( regular up and down modulation creates a pattern of repetition that is

not initially recogni1ed and can thus be used to 'creep up on' the other

person.

4ounding home a point


16/45

When someone is making a point about something, their pitch will go up

and down as they repeatedly pound the point of authority. This may well

be done in a rhythmic way, accompanied with pounding of a finger or

fist to e*aggerate further. The repetition may also emphasi1ed further byrepeating a single word or phrase.

I was never there, I would never do a thing like that and I have never

been so insulted in my entire life.

5ypnotic suggestion

4epetition and modulation is a common element of hypnotic speech.

The modulation pulls people in with the impression of something worth

listening to, then the repetition sends them into a trance. This can be a

deliberate method for public speakers that can be used to lull a whole

audience into a suggestible state before the real message is slipped past

the weakened cognitive defenses.

Making it interesting

5isten to a beginner actor or salesperson; as they concentrate on thewords, the modulation goes out of the window and they sound odd and

wooden. Modulation makes meaning.

5isten to the T: presenter introducing a program or reading the news.

Notice how their voice goes up and down very deliberately. They know

very well what they are doing.

Notice also how the T: presenter moves their head and their in timewith the modulation. Their body is often obscured by a table or even off-

camera. They must thus use ust their voice and their head to convey

meaning.


17/45

Non-:erbal ommunication

The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication. Nonverbal

communication describes the process of shared cues between people,

which goes hand-in-hand with public speaking. This can include eye

contact, fre$uency of glances, blink rate, gestures, facial e*pressions,

postures, and more.

3eter 7. +rucker

Nonverbal communication describes the process of shared cues between

people, which goes hand-in-hand with public speaking. This can include

eye contact, fre$uency of glances, blink rate, gestures, facial

e*pressions, postures, and more.

The presentation is, perhaps, the one mode of communication that has

proved relevant through every technological innovation. ur decks get

more glamorous, but it?s still ust you on stage, in front of an audience.

Nonverbal signals can increase trust, clarity, and add interest to your presentation when yielded properly. 5earning how to become more

sensitive to body language and nonverbal cues will make you the best

presenter you can be.

he Five Nonverbal Abilities

)ow is it that non-verbal communication is the element of the in-person

presentation that has caused it to be the default response when responsesmatter most; inaugural addresses, &tates of the nion, getting big

accounts, keeping big accounts>the list goes on and on. 3erhaps because

this form of communication shares so much more than dialogue.

(ccording to the #dward 2. Wertheim, author of The Importance of

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htmhttp://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm


18/45

ffective !ommunication, there are five main effects that nonverbal

communication can have;

@. Repetition > They can reinforce what is already being said

A. Contradiction > They can contradict the message and make the

speaker seem untruthful

B. Substitution > They can take the place of words

C. Complementing > They can compliment a verbal message, for

instance, a pat on the back

D. Accenting > They can underline a certain point in the message

Strengthen Eye Contact


19/45

(s you practice your presentation, film yourself. What do your facial

e*pressions communicate6 )appiness, fear, sadness, surprise, or

boredom6 %e mindful of your posture as well, ensuring that you don?t

have the slump of an uninterested presenter. +on?t forget to e*amineyour gestures. +oes the way that you point, wave, or flail your hands

distract from the message, or enhance your points6 Try to film yourself

for more than one practice to see where nonverbal patterns emerge, and

where you can strengthen your physical delivery. (lso consider rating

yourself on a scale of @-D in the following areas;

ye !ontact

%acial &pression

Tone of 'oice

(osture and )esture

$a#e a %oment

(le*


20/45

to your intended audience, would be lost in translation. Make sure what

you?re not saying is as poignant as what you are.

Types of Non- :erbal ommunication

n many cases, we communicate information in nonverbal ways usinggroups of behaviors. 7or e*ample, we might combine a frown withcrossed arms and unblinking eye ga1e to indicate disapproval.

&' Facial E(pressions

7acial e*pressions are responsible for a huge proportion of nonverbalcommunication. onsider how much information can be conveyed witha smile or a frown. The look on a person face is often the first thing wesee, even before we hear what they have to say.

While nonverbal communication and behavior can vary dramatically between cultures, the facial e*pressions for happiness, sadness, anger,

)' *estures

+eliberate movements and signals are an important way to communicatemeaning without words. ommon gestures include waving, pointing,and using fingers to indicate numeric amounts. ther gestures arearbitrary and related to culture.

0n courtroom settings, lawyers have been known to utili1e differentnonverbal signals to attempt to sway uror opinions. (n attorney mightglance at his watch to suggest that the opposing lawyer's argument istedious or might even roll his eyes at the testimony offered by a witness

in an attempt to undermine his or her credibility. These nonverbal signalsare seen as being so powerful and influential that some udges even

place limits on what type of nonverbal behaviors are allowed in thecourtroom.

+' !aralinguistics

http://specialchildren.about.com/od/nonverballd/bb/nldresources.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-headinghttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/tp/A-Quick-Guide-To-Understanding-And-Improving-Body-Language.htmhttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/a/Five-Tips-To-Better-Understand-Facial-Expressions.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-headinghttp://specialchildren.about.com/od/nonverballd/bb/nldresources.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-headinghttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/tp/A-Quick-Guide-To-Understanding-And-Improving-Body-Language.htmhttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/a/Five-Tips-To-Better-Understand-Facial-Expressions.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-heading


21/45

3aralinguistics refers to vocal communication that is separate fromactual language. This includes factors such as tone of voice, loudness,inflection, and pitch. onsider the powerful effect that tone of voice canhave on the meaning of a sentence. When said in a strong tone of voice,

listeners might interpret approval and enthusiasm. The same words saidin a hesitant tone of voice might convey disapproval and a lack ofinterest.

onsider all the different ways simply changing your tone of voicemight change the meaning of a sentence. ( friend might ask you howyou are doing, and you might respond with the standard 0'm fine, buthow you actually say those words might reveal a tremendous amount of

how you are really feeling. ( cold tone of voice might suggest that youare actually not fine, but you don't wish to discuss it. ( bright, happytone of voice will reveal that you are actually doing $uite well. (somber, downcast tone would indicate that you are the opposite of fineand that perhaps your friend should in$uire further.

,' ody anguage and !osture

3osture and movement can also convey a great deal on information.

4esearch on body language has grown significantly since the @GHE's, but popular media have focused on the over-interpretation of defensive postures, arm-crossing, and leg-crossing, especially after the publicationof Iulius 7ast's book 0ody 1anguage. While these nonverbal behaviorscan indicate feelings and attitudes, research suggests that body languageis far more subtle and less definitive that previously believed.

.' !ro(emics

3eople often refer to their need for personal space, which is also animportant type of nonverbal communication. The amount of distance weneed and the amount of space we perceive as belonging to us isinfluenced by a number of factors including social norms, culturale*pectations, situational factors, personality characteristics, and level offamiliarity. 7or e*ample, the amount of personal space needed when

http://marketing.about.com/od/salestipsandadvice/a/toneofvoice.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/gr/bodylanguage.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/socialpsychology/a/attitudes.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_8.htmhttp://grammar.about.com/od/mo/g/Nonverbal-Communication.htmhttp://sociology.about.com/od/Research/a/Ethnomethodology.htmhttp://marketing.about.com/od/salestipsandadvice/a/toneofvoice.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/gr/bodylanguage.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/socialpsychology/a/attitudes.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_8.htmhttp://grammar.about.com/od/mo/g/Nonverbal-Communication.htmhttp://sociology.about.com/od/Research/a/Ethnomethodology.htm


22/45

having a casual conversation with another person usually varies between@J inches to four feet. n the other hand, the personal distance neededwhen speaking to a crowd of people is around @E to @A feet.

/' Eye *a0e

The eyes play an important role in nonverbal communication and suchthings as looking, staring, and blinking can also be important nonverbal

behaviors. When people encounter people or things that they like, therate of blinking increases and pupils dilate. 5ooking at another personcan indicate a range of emotions including hostility, interest, andattraction.

3eople also utili1e eye ga1e a means to determine if someone is beinghonest. Normal, steady eye contact is often taken as a sign that a personis telling the truth and is trustworthy. &hifty eyes and an inability tomaintain eye contact, on the other hand, is fre$uently seen as anindicator that someone is lying or being deceptive.

1' 2aptics

ommunicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior.There has been a substantial amount of research on the importance oftouch in infancy and early childhood. )arry )arlow's classic monkeystudy demonstrated how the deprivation of touch and contact impedesdevelopment. %aby monkeys raised by wire mothers e*perienced

permanent deficits in behavior and social interaction. Touch can be usedto communicate affection, familiarity, sympathy, and other emotions.

0n her book Interpersonal !ommunication2 veryday ncounters, author

Iulia Wood writes that touch is also often used as a way to communicate both status and power. 4esearchers have found that high-statusindividuals tend to invade other people's personal space with greaterfre$uency and intensity than lower-status individuals. &e* differencesalso play a role in how people utili1e touch to communicate meaning.Women tend to use touch to convey care, concern, and nurturance. Men,

http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_3.htmhttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/copingwithsad/qt/eyecontact.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/ss/early-childhood-development.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/historyofpsychology/p/harlow_love.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/historyofpsychology/p/harlow_love.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/emotion/f/what-are-emotions.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_3.htmhttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/copingwithsad/qt/eyecontact.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/ss/early-childhood-development.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/historyofpsychology/p/harlow_love.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/historyofpsychology/p/harlow_love.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/emotion/f/what-are-emotions.htm


23/45

on the other hand, are more likely to use touch to assert power or controlover others.

3' Appearance

ur choice of color, clothing, hairstyles, and other factors affectingappearance are also considered a means of nonverbal communication.4esearch on color psychology has demonstrated that different colors canevoke different moods. (ppearance can also alter physiologicalreactions, udgments, and interpretations. Iust think of all the subtle

udgements you $uickly make about someone based on his or herappearance. These first impressions are important, which is why e*pertssuggest that ob seekers dress appropriately for interviews with potentialemployers.

4esearchers have found that appearance can play a role in how peopleare perceived and even how much they earn. ne @GGK study found thatattorneys who were rated as more attractive than their peers earnednearly @D percent more than those ranked as less attractive. ulture canhave an important influence in how appearances are udged. Whilethinness tends to be valued in Western cultures, some (frican cultures

relate full-figured bodies to better health, wealth, and social status.

4' Artifacts

bects and images are also tools that can be used to communicatenonverbally. n an online forum, for e*ample, you might select anavatar to represent your identity online and to communicate informationabout who you are and the things you like. 3eople often spend a greatdeal of time developing a particular image and surrounding themselves

with obects designed to convey information about the things that areimportant to them. niforms, for e*ample, can be used to transmit atremendous amount of information about a person. ( soldier will donfatigues, a police offers will wear a uniform, and a doctor will wear awhite lab coat. (t a mere glance, these outfits tell people what a persondoes for a living.

http://homeworktips.about.com/od/mindandbody/a/nonverbal.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/sensationandperception/a/colorpsych.htmhttp://homeworktips.about.com/od/mindandbody/a/nonverbal.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/sensationandperception/a/colorpsych.htm


24/45

Final $houghts

Nonverbal communication plays an important role in how we conveymeaning and information to others, as well as how we interpret the

actions of those around us. The important thing to remember whenlooking at such nonverbal behaviors is to consider the actions in groups.What a person actually says along with his or her e*pressions,appearance, and tone of voice might tell you a great deal about what that

person is really trying to say.

#ffective %usiness 5etter

Writing An Efective Business Letter#-mail may be the $uick and convenient way to relay daily business

messages, but the printed business letter is still the preferred way to

convey important information. ( carefully crafted letter presented on

attractive letterhead can be a powerful communication tool. To make

sure you are writing the most professional and effective letter possible,

use the business letter format and template below and follow these basic

business letter-writing.

Select a proessional letterhead design or your

sall business

"our business letter is a representation of your company, so you want it

to look distinctive and immediately communicate high $uality. 7or a

convenient and economical alternative to using traditional preprinted

letterhead, try using our contemporary letterhead and envelope designtemplates. &imply create a letter within a predesigned color letterhead

template and then print your entire piece $uickly and beautifully on your

3haserL color printer .

http://www.office.xerox.com/color-printers/enus.htmlhttp://www.office.xerox.com/color-printers/enus.html


25/45

!se a standard business letter orat and

teplate

The most widely used format for business letters is block style, where

the te*t of the entire letter is ustified left. The te*t is single spaced,e*cept for double spaces between paragraphs. Typically margins are

about @ inch 8AD.C mm9 on all sides of the document, which is the

default setting for most word-processing programs. 0f you are using

Microsoft Word, you can turn to its built-in 5etter Wi1ard for additional

formatting assistance 8look on the Tools menu9.

This business letter format illustrates the specific parts of a businessletter;

usiness etter $emplate Fields5

6ate5 se month, day, year format, e.g., March B, AE@A or B MarchAE@A

Sender7s Address5 0t is a good idea to include sender's email and url, if

available. +on't include this information if it's already incorporated intothe letterhead design. This will allow customers to find your small

business more $uickly.

Inside Address5 se full name. Mr.Ms. is optional

Salutation5 %e sure to use a colon at the end of the name, not a commaas in personal letters

ody $e(t5 &tate why you are writing. #stablish any connectionmutualrelationship up front. utline the solution, providing proof in the way of e*amples and e*pert opinions. 2roup related information into

paragraphs

Closing 8Call to Action85 &tate what the reader needs to do and what


26/45

you will do to follow up

Signature loc#5 &ign your letter in blue or black ink

Enclosures5 se if you have an enclosure

Carbon Copy5 se if you are sending a copy to additional person8s9

9se a professional tone'

&ave casual, chatty language for email - your printed business lettershould be friendly but more professional. (s &cott ber suggests in his

book ontemporary %usiness ommunication, The business writershould strive for an overall tone that is confident, courteous, and sincerethat uses emphasis and subordination appropriately that containsnondiscriminatory language that stresses the you attitude and that iswritten at an appropriate level of difficulty. That said, be sure to soundlike yourself - you don't want your letter to read as if a machine wrote it.

"rite clearly'

&tate your point early in your letter. To avoid any miscommunications,use straightforward, concise language. &kip the industry argon andinstead choose lively, active words to hold your reader's attention.

rgani1e your information logically; 2roup related information intoseparate paragraphs. 0n a long, information-packed letter, considerorgani1ing information into sections with subheads. "ou may want tohighlight key words to make them pop - this techni$ue is possible withmost word-processing programs and your color multifunction printer .

9se Color $o Emphasi0e "ords In $e(t

0t's easy to put a few words in color to draw attention to them. Iust selectthe type and click the arrow to the right of the Font Color button,choose the color you want, then click the button. r, try highlighting a

http://www.office.xerox.com/multifunction-printer/color-multifunction/enus.htmlhttp://www.office.xerox.com/multifunction-printer/color-multifunction/enus.html


27/45

few words in the te*t. &elect the type you want to emphasi1e, then clickthe 2ighlight button. Note; When highlighting parts of a document youintend to print, use a light color such as yellow, light green, or light blue.0f you wish to remove the highlighting, select the te*t and click the

2ighlight button again.

Auto$e(t automates applying color 8or any type style9, which wouldordinarily take numerous clicks or commands. &ay you're creating areport that compares your organi1ation's performance against that ofyour competitor. Word can automatically color your company's nameevery time it appears, making those entries easy to locate.

e persuasive'

#stablish a positive relationship with your reader right away. 0f you havea connection to the reader - you've met before or have a mutualcolleague, for e*ample - mention it in your introductory paragraph.Whether you think your reader will agree with the point of your letter ornot, it is important to find common ground and build your case fromthere.

nderstand your reader well enough to anticipate how he or she willreact when reading your letter. (ddress his or her needs or wishes, or aspecific problem, and then outline your solution. 3rovide proof in theway of e*amples andor e*pert opinions to back up your point. Makesure to maintain a friendly tone.

onclude your letter with a call to action. &tate clearly what yourreader needs to do or believe to achieve the desired solution and thenstate what you, the writer, intend to do ne*t to follow up.

!roofread your letter:

(ll your careful crafting and printing can't cover up spelling or punctuation errors, which leave a lasting negative impression.


28/45

Now that you've learned the secrets of writing an effective businessletter,

Biodata orat

"ae 6

Age 6

#ate o birth 6

Address or counication6

Phone $ Mobile 6Eail 6

Educational %uali&cations6


29/45

;ear

of

passin

g

College >

9niversi

ty >

Institute

$otal

mar#

s ?>

C*!

A

Any other

relevant

informati

on

&& @Eth

OOO

)& @Ath

OOO

2raduation3ost

graduation

(ny other

Please explain gaps, if any

7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

Work e'perience(

(Please enter the details chronologically, including any

period you did not work.

For school teaching experience, include subjects taught

and classes handled in the Job Responsibilities column.

No of

years

@rganisatio

n

6esignatio

n

ob

responsibiliti

es

Any other

relevant

informatio

n


30/45

A a)or achieveent in your work life preferably in the

last &!' years. Mention the challenge, your role, the

process you followed, roles of other key people if any, the

result, and why you consider this an achievement

(use bullet points if possible)

Strengths and Weaknesses(

n the table below, mention ' of your strengths and

weaknesses, giving e0amples as re8uired in the space

provided6


31/45

Sl

no

Strengths Actual E(ample

@

A

B

"ea#nesses Actual E(ample

@

A

B

*obbies $ interests(

Married(

Languages kno+n(

Any other inoration you +ould like to provide6

,portance o Personality in an -rgani.ation

Throughout any organi1ation, different roles re$uire different skill sets

and aptitudes, which are tied to personality. Not every temperament can

be a motivating leader, an engaging front-line customer contact or a

micromanaging organi1ational specialist. #ven an entry-level position

suitable for minimal skills is better filled by a compatible personality

such as one tolerant of repetition and mundane occupation.

rgani1ations are recogni1ing more and more the importance of

personality when looking for candidates to fill ob openings.

Personality /esting

3ersonality testing is more widely used in business than ever. (s of the

year AEEG, the PDEE-million industry of assessing an individual's

disposition has been growing by @E percent each year. With over A,DEE


32/45

personality $uestionnaires to choose from, employers have ample tools

at their disposal to assess the compatibility of a candidate's personality

with a particular ob. Testing is done to give employers a defense against

legal dispute over the allocation of a position companies usingformali1ed testing have a $uantifiable measurement to ustify hiring

decisions that carries more legal weight than the intangible preference of

a hiring manager.

Personality /ypes

There are four basic personality types. ombinations and subtypes e*ist

as well, but generally most people fit primarily in one of the four main

categories. (ction-oriented, obective-focused types get to the point.They sometimes appear cold as they ustify their methods with their

results, but are usually successful. &ocial personalities are dynamic and

friendly, with strengths in motivation and communication rather than

actual task completion. &upportive types shy away from conflict and

decision making, but adapt to change well and are dependable. +etail-

oriented analytical personalities love facts, e*cel at perception and

processing information, but can be critical and pessimistic. #ach basic personality type has strengths and weaknesses. !eeping personality in

mind when assigning a staffer to a certain role allows strengths to shine

while making weaknesses less relevant and impacting.

Eotional ,ntelligence

#motional intelligence is also important in the workplace, and can affect

the manifestation of an individual's personality. While personality is an

inborn behavior inclination possessed by an individual, emotional

intelligence is a skill used by that individual to recogni1e self behaviors

and manage them appropriately according to each situation. 7or

e*ample, a socially-oriented personality with good emotional

intelligence will recogni1e when to step back from motivational


33/45

behavior to allow for productive work-flow and task completion, rather

than being overly communicative and disruptive.

Successul Sta0ng

When building your team or filling a vacancy within your organi1ation,

paying attention to personality traits that will shine in ob roles is not

only prudent it is as important as considering training and previously

ac$uired skill sets. 0nformation and skills can be learned, whereas

personality is ingrained and harder to change. Matching the right

personality, along with the right skills, to each ob improves your chance

of success.

1ear o Public Speaking(

ear of public speaking is the most common of all phobias. 0t's a form of

performance an*iety in which a person becomes very concerned that he

or she will look visibly an*ious, maybe even have a panic attack while

speaking. ver time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding

public speaking or by struggling against speech an*iety. 0n this way,

people get Tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronicand disruptive.

&ome people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in

such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes

they want. (t work, they pass up promotions and assignments which

would re$uire speaking. The fear of public speaking may even lead

people to choose a career that doesn't call for public speaking, rather

than one they want. This is often the case with people who have feared

public speaking from a very young age.

thers don't go that far, but will go to great lengths to avoid making

presentations, or even ust having to speak at a meeting. They may

http://www.anxietycoach.com/panicdisorder.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/panicdisorder.html


34/45

deliberately arrive late, hoping to miss the customary introductions

8let's go around and introduce ourselves...9.

Many others will gamely accept an assignment and show up to give a

speech when it's important to their career. %ut they try to get through

those situations without feeling afraid. They focus on what they feel,

rather than on the message they've come to deliver. This is often the case

with people whose fear of public speaking developed later in life. The

more successful they become in their career, the more they are called

upon to share their e*pertise with groups, and the more an*ious they

become.

/he /rick

The fear of public speaking draws upon the same 3anic Trick as other

fears and phobias. 3eople naturally want to rid themselves of public

speaking an*iety before they do any more speaking. %ut they get

Tricked into using methods which actually make the fear of public

speaking stronger, and more persistent, over time.

New patients who come to me for help with fear of public speaking

usually e*pect that 0 will first help them lose their speech an*iety, and

then they will go out and do some public speaking.

0'm usually able to help people overcome this problem. %ut that's not

how you do it. That's how you get TrickedF

/ry this E'ercise

Think of the things you do during a speech, or a brief introduction, in an

effort to feel less afraid. What do you do in an effort to control your fear

of public speaking6

http://www.anxietycoach.com/anxietyattacks.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/anxietyattacks.html


35/45

Take two minutes. Write down all the responses you can think of. Then

come back here.

9hat$s 2n :our ;ist<

7earful speakers 0've worked with have included items such as;

Q 4ead it

Q +on't look at audience

Q 4ush through it

Q &kip portions of my talk

Q Tell myself it'll be over soon

Q 0magine audience in their underwear

Q ough, pretend to have a sore throat

Q se a lot of slides

Q lench fists beneath lectern

Q !eep swallowing, to make sure 0 can drink fluids

Q 5et a colleague do most of the talking

Q Wear my lucky shirt

ne of the first things 0 ask my clients is, specifically, how do you think

these will help control public speaking an*iety6 &o let me ask you to

review this for yourself.


36/45

Take two more minutes to look at your list and identify e*actly how you

think these measures will help you overcome the fear of public speaking.

Write down your answers, then come back here.

9hat =o :ou Think<

)ere's what 0 notice when 0 review this $uestion with fearful speakers.

Their strategies during a speech are designed to;

Q #nd the speech as soon as possible

Q (void any pauses or interruptions during the speech

Q (void contact with the audience

Q )ide the fact that they are afraid

These all involve efforts to resist and fight public speaking an*iety. They

also involve efforts to resist the role of speaker, and to avoid using all

the powers that come with being a speaker.

#on2t Be the !nspeaker3

7earful speakers create trouble for themselves when they don't embrace

the role of &peaker. 0nstead, they try to be the nspeaker. They try to

get through the e*perience without committing themselves to the role

of &peaker. They read, they drone, they overlook the audience, and they

focus mainly on resisting their fear. The result of this resistance is,

typically, that it gives you more public speaking an*iety, not less - ust

the opposite of what you want.

5urrying

4ushing through a talk re$uires that you talk fast. Talking fast interferes

with your breathing. 0nstead of breathing comfortably, you breathe in a


37/45

short, shallow manner, or you might even hold your breath. This gives

you the sensation of running out of air and being unable to breathe, a

common fear in this situation, and one that greatly increases fear of

public speaking.

(ll this hurrying reduces the chance that your audience can enoy your

speech. 0t creates a barrier between you and them, which might have

been your intention, but this will actually increase your fear. The less of

a connection you have with them, the more unfriendly they will seem to

you, and the more speech an*iety you will e*perience.

gnoring the >udience7earful speakers often try to ignore the audience, hoping this will

decrease their speech an*iety. 7or instance, lots of fearful speakers avoid

eye contact with the audience. This prevents you from noticing any

audience reaction. "ou won't notice when people seem more interested,

or have $uestions.

When you have no audience contact, you focus on your own thoughts.(nd if you're a fearful speaker, your thoughts are virtually guaranteed to

be far more negative, and unrealistic, than anything your audience might

think or say. The result6 More, rather than less, fear of public speaking.

?ighting to 5ide :our ?ear

7inally, efforts to hide your fear create the additional fear of being

found out as a nervous person. This only adds to the public speakingan*iety you already e*perience.

0t has another negative side effect. (fter you've given a speech, even if it

has gone well, you may take no pride in your success because of this

thought; 0f they knew how afraid 0 was, they'd think less of me.


38/45

0've worked with many successful businesspeople who, despite their

speech an*iety, actually presented fre$uently and did a good ob.

nfortunately, because of their desire for secrecy, they thought they

were fooling people and never felt satisfaction from their work. 0norder to progress and feel confident, they had to see that they were the

ones being fooled - not the audienceF

Breaking the 4icious 5ycle

"ou can overcome the fear of public speaking, with a game plan based

on three basic elements; an accepting attitude toward your fear, use of

the (W(4# steps, and a willingness to be the &peaker, rather than the

nspeaker.

/he 1ive Steps o AWARE

The five steps to overcoming panic attacks are;

Acknowledge R (ccept

"ait R Watch 8and maybe, Work9

Actions 8to make myself more comfortable9

R epeat

End

5et's take a look at what each step entails.

>cknowledge @ >ccept

(ll progress starts here. This is the most important single step to

overcoming panic attacks.

http://www.anxietycoach.com/overcoming-panic-attacks.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/overcoming-panic-attacks.html


39/45

Acknowledge

)ere 0 acknowledge the present reality, that 0'm afraid and starting to

panic. 0 won't try to ignore it, or pretend it's not there. 0 won't struggle to

distract myself, tell myself to stop thinking about itF, or snap anyrubber bands on my wrist.

0'm acknowledging simply that 0 am afraid, not that 0 am in danger. The

thought that 0 am in danger is ust another symptom of panic, not an

important or useful thought.

Accept

)ere 0 accept the fact that 0'm afraid at this moment. 0 don't fight thefeeling ask 2od to take it away blame myself, or anybody else. 0

accept, as best 0 can, that 0'm afraid in the same way 0 would accept a

headache. 0 don't like headaches, but 0 don't bang my head against the

wall in an effort to get rid of them, because that makes them worse.

vercoming panic attacks begins with working with, not against, my

panic and an*iety symptoms.

*o+ 5an , Accept a Panic Attack6What makes a panic attack acceptable 8not desirable, but acceptable9 is

that, while it feels awful and fills me with dread, it isn't dangerous. 0t

won't kill me or make me cra1y. &omeone pointing a gun at me, that's

not acceptable. 0 might get hurt or killed. 0f someone points a gun at me,

0 have to do whatever 0 can to change that; run, hide, fight, yell, bribe, or

beg, because the conse$uence of being shot is so terrible that 0 must try

to avoid it.

n the other hand - a policeman giving me a ticket, even if 0 don't

deserve it, 0 can live with that, and can hopefully keep my temper in

check so 0 don't make things worse for myself.


40/45

(ccepting the symptoms, not resisting, is a powerful step to overcoming

panic attacks.

What 5an a Panic Attack #o to Me6

0t makes me feel afraid, that's what a panic attack does. (nd, if 0'm

having a panic attack, 0'm already thereF 0'm already e*periencing the

worst that will happen. 0 ust need to ride it out. That's the surest path to

overcoming panic attacks.

Why should 0 accept a panic attack6 %ecause the more 0 resist panic, the

worse it gets. The more 0 develop the habit of acceptance, the more

progress 0 make toward my goal of overcoming panic attacks.

That's (cknowledge R (ccept. )ow does that compare to what you

usually do during a panic attack6

9ait @ 9atch (and maybe, 9ork)

Wait

What 0 mean by Wait is this; don't ust do something, stand there. 0t's

similar to the suggestion count to ten before you get mad.

ne of the hallmarks of a panic attack is that it temporarily robs you of

your ability to think, remember, and concentrate. This step will buy you

a little time to regain those abilities before you take any action.

When you react before you have a chance to think straight, what do you

do6 0f you're like most people, you probably flee, or struggle. "ou do

things that actually make it worse. This is what people mean when they

say things like 0 know 0'm doing it to myself and the harder I tryB the

orse it gets.

http://www.anxietycoach.com/what-panic-attacks-can-do-to-you.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/what-panic-attacks-can-do-to-you.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/what-panic-attacks-can-do-to-you.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/what-panic-attacks-can-do-to-you.html


41/45

Iumping into action too $uickly is a big obstacle to overcoming panic

attacks.

&o, even though you have a powerful urge to leave, postpone that

decision for a little bit. +on't tell yourself you (N'T leave - keep that

option open so you don't feel trapped - but put off the decision about

whether or not to leave. &tay in the situation. "ou don't need to run away

to get relief. 5et relief come to you.

Watch

se the occasion to observe how the panic works, and how you respond

to it. The best way to do this is to fill out a panic diary. The diary is a$uestionnaire which helps you notice important aspects of a panic attack,

so you can respond more effectively over time. 7eel free to download

and reproduce it for your own personal use. "ou can also download a set

of instructions.

My patients often report that ust filling out a diary helps them to calm

down. )ow does this work6 0t's not that they're distracted from the

subect of panic, because the diary $uestions are all about panic. 0t helps

you get a little distance from your emotions. 0t works because, while you

complete a diary, you're in the role of an observer, rather than feeling

like a victim.

The best way to use the diary is to fill it out during the attack, rather

than after. 0f you're in a situation where writing is impractical, perhaps

while driving a car, you can; use a digital recorder have your support person read the $uestions to you and record your answers or pull over

for a few minutes to write.

http://www.anxietycoach.com/support-files/diary.pdfhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/support-files/panicdiaryinstructions.pdfhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/support-files/diary.pdfhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/support-files/panicdiaryinstructions.pdf


42/45

What About "Work"?

0f you're in a relatively passive situation during the panic attack - a

passenger in a vehicle, getting your hair cut, or waiting in a waiting

room - Wait R Watch is all you need. 0f you're in a more active role -driving a car or giving a presentation - then you also need to attend to

the Work of conducting that activity. +o Wait R Watch, but also

remain engaged in your task.

That's Wait R Watch 8and maybe, Work9. )ow does that compare to

what you usually do during a panic attack6

>ctions (to make myself more comfortable)(t this point, you've already gone through the two most important steps

to overcoming panic attacks.

These steps, and all the steps necessary to overcome panic disorder and

phobia, are covered in much more detail in my 3anic (ttacks Workbook .

9hat$s :our Aob =uring an >ttack<

0t's not your ob to bring the panic attack to an end that will happen no

matter what you do.

"our ob now is to see if you can make yourself a little more

comfortable, while you wait for the attack to end.

)ere are a few techni$ues that my patients have found particularly

useful in overcoming panic attacks.

Belly Breathing

4egardless of what else you do, do belly breathing. 0t's also known as

diaphragmatic breathing, but 0 think belly breathing is more

descriptive. Many people think they know how to do deep breathing, but

http://www.anxietycoach.com/panic-attacks-help.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/breathingexercise.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/panic-attacks-help.htmlhttp://www.anxietycoach.com/breathingexercise.html


43/45

don't do it correctly, so they don't get good results. ( good belly

breathing techni$ue is a very powerful tool in the work of overcoming

panic attacksF

How to Talk to ourself

Talk to yourself 8silentlyF9 about what is happening, and what you need

to do. ne $uestion my patients find very helpful is this; is it 6anger or

6iscomfortD. &ome of the other responses my patients like include the

following;

@. 7ine, let's have an attackF 0t's a good chance to practice my coping

techni$ues.

A. (nswer your what if...6 fears by saying &o what6 0'll get afraid,

then calm down again.

B. 0t's okay to be afraid.

!et nvolved in the #resent

3eople don't panic in the present. 3eople panic when they imagine

something bad happening to them in the future or in the past. This is

why your panic attacks are almost always accompanied by some what

if...6 thought. 0f a dog ust bit my leg, 0 don't say what if a dogbite6.

The reason you say what if...6 is because what you fear is not actually

happeningF

2et back into the activity you were engaged in prior to the attack, and

become involved with the people and obects around you. 0f you're in astore, resume shopping, reading labels, comparing prices, asking

$uestions, etc. 0t will move you closer to your goal of overcoming panic

attacks when you bring your focus and energy back to the present

environment. %y this 0 mean, work with what is around you.


44/45

Work with our Body

0dentify, and rela*, the parts of your body that get most tense during a

panic attack. This typically involves first tensing, and then rela*ing, the

muscles of your aw, neck, shoulders, back and legs. +o not allowyourself to stand rigid, muscles tensed, and holding your breath. That

ust makes you feel worseF 0f you feel like you can't move a muscle,

start with ust one fingerF

That's (ctions 8to make myself more comfortable9. )ow does that

compare with what you usually do during a panic attack6

+epeatThis step is here because you might start feeling better, then feel another

wave of panic. "our first reaction might then be to think h No, it

didn't workF. The 4epeat step is here to remind you that it's ! if that

happens. ust ta#e it from the top again. 0t's not unusual or dangerous.

"ou may go through several cycles, and you ust need to repeat the

(W(4# steps again, as often as you need.

)ow does that compare with what you usually do6

Bnd

This is here to remind you that your panic attack will end that all panic

attacks end that they end regardless of how you respond that it's not

your ob to make the attack end and that your only ob is to make

yourself as comfortable as possible while waiting for the attack to end.

)ave these statements been true for you6 +on't take my word for it.

4eview your own history of panic attacks and see.


45/45

(nd maybe the ne*t time you panic, when you notice yourself thinking,

once again, Will this ever end6, you'll find yourself answering, "#&F

Epps Notes 2

Documents

Transcript of Epps Notes 2