B R SIWALDeputy Director

NIPCCDNEW DELHI

E-MAIL: brsiwal@gmail.com

ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOURAssertiveness is a farm of behaviour which demonstrates your self-respect and respect for others. This means that assertiveness is concerned with dealing with your own feelings about yourself and other people, as much the end result.ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR IS:

Being open and honest with your self and other people Listening to other people’s point of view Showing understanding of other people’s situations Expressing your ideas clearly. But not at the expense

of others.

Being able to reach workable solutions to difficulties

Making decision – even if your decision is not a decision !

Being clear about your point and not being side tracked

Dealing with conflictHaving self respect and respect for other peopleBeing equal with others and retaining your

uniquenessExpressing feelings honestly and with care.

AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR IS:

Getting your own way, no matter whatGetting your own point across at other

people’s expenseGetting people to do things they don’t

what to doBeing loud and violentInterrupting othersWinning at all costs

PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR IS :Keeping quiet for fear of upsetting peopleAvoiding conflictSaying yes when you want to say noAlways putting other people’s need firstNot expressing your feelingsGoing along with things you don’t like or

agree withApologizing excessively

Inwardly burning with anger and frustrationBeing vague about your ideas and what you wantJustifying your actions to other peopleAppearing indecisiveInwardly burning with anger and frustrationBeing vague about your ideas and what you wantJustifying your actions to other peopleAppearing indecisive

WHY BOTHER WITH ASSERTIVESS

Your self-confidence increasesYou are properly understoodOther people know exactly where they

are with you You are more open to receiving feed backYour relationships are based on reality

rather than illusion

You stand a better chance of getting what you want

You feel better for expressing your feelings

You have fewer situations that are unresolved

Even if you do not resolve a situation, you feel better for having tried

TEN GOLDEN RULES OF ASSERTIVESS1. Say no when you need to 2. Be persistent3. Never let anybody take away your rights4. Deal with put outs5. Handle criticism well 6. Know how to make confident conversation7. Think of yourself for the sake of others8. Be seen not obscene9. Be clever10. Practice being assertive

BOOST YOUR SELF CONFUDENCE1. Be assertive 2. Fill yourself with pride3. Improve self image4. Think about other people5. Conquer your fear and anxiety

I. Slow down – “no hurry, no worry”II. Seek support from other peopleIII. Live for today, don’t get anxious for tomorrowIV. Tough mildnessV. Beat stress VI. Assess the oddsVII. Remove your guilt – seek forgivenessVIII. Think nice thoughtsIX. Put things into right perspectiveX. Smile, smile and smile

I. LOVE FOR OTHERII. LEARN HOW TO LOSEIII. LOOK PROS AND CONS OF DOING

SOMETHING

6. Have courage to succeed7. Think positive

I. Think to change the worldII. Don’t think about failureIII. Have faith in your abilityIV. Never loose hopeV. Talk positively to yourself

THE WILL TO WIN MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO SUCCESS

1. Understand your needs.2. Find goals which inspires you

(I) define life’s purpose(Ii) analyse your needs(Iii) think of the people who matter to you(Iv) identify your inspirational goals.

3. Never give up. Life is difficult. Be positive

4. Think success(I) visualise your success(Ii) talk success to yourself(Iii) don’t build obstacles in your mind(Iv) don’t fear to fail

5. Have a cool head but a warm heart.

6. Live for excellence(I) complete with yourself, not

with other(Ii) value what you are striving for(Iii) remember time past is gone

forever(Iv) be ruthlessly self discipline Love life – love everything you do.

STEP TO BULIDING POSITIVE PERSONALITY

STEP 1. Accept responsibilityStep 2. ConsiderationsStep 3. Think win / winStep 4. Choose your work carefullyStep 5. Do not criticize and complain

Step 7. Put positive interpretation on other people’s behaviour

Step 8. Be good listenerStep 9. Be enthusiasticStep 10. Give honest and sincere

appreciationStep11. When make mistake, acceptStep 12. Discuss but do not argue

STEP 13. Turn your promises into commitmentsStep 14. Be grateful but do not except

gratitudeStep 15. Avoid bearing grudges, forgive and

forgetStep 16. Practice honesty, sincerity, humilityStep 17. Be caring and empatheticStep 18. Practice courtesyStep 19. Development sense of humourStep 20. Do not be sarcastic and put other dowStep 21. To have a friend be friend

STEP TO BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF -ESTEEM1. Turn scars into stars – threat into opportunities2. Do something for others3. Learn to give and receive compliments4. Accept responsibilities5. Practice self-discipline6. Set goals7. Become internally drive not externally driven8. Give yourself positive auto suggestions 9. Have patience

BUILDING A POSITIVE ATTITUDEFACTORS THAT DETERMINE ATTITUTE – 3 E1. Environment2. Experience3. EducationEnvironment consists –

Home – positive or negative influence School – peer pressure Work – supportive of over critical supervisor Media Cultural background Religious background Socio-political environment

STEP TO BUILD POSITIVE ATTITUDEStep 1. Change focus, look for the

positive Step 2. Make a habit of doing it nowStep 3. Develop an attitude of

gratitude – count your blessing not troubles

Step 4. Get into continuous education and learning

Step 5. Build a positive self esteem

Step 6. Stay away from negativeStep 7. Learn to like thing that need

to be doneStep 8. Start your day with

positive

BENEFITS OF A POSITIVE ATTITUDEHappy lifeIncrease productivityImprove qualitySolve problemsMakes for congenial atmosphereBreeds loyaltyFoster better relationshipReduce stressPleasing personality