Dynamic Career Solutions

20

description

Dynamic Career Solutions is a magazine focused on providing career advice, resume services, tips and solutions to obtaining and keeping the career of your dreams.

Transcript of Dynamic Career Solutions

Page 1: Dynamic Career Solutions
Page 2: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 2

Page 3: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 3

Contents Feature Article Resume Presentation is Key Pg 4 Resumes should be showcases

Expert Career Tips and Advice The Phone Interview Pg 7 How not to mess it up

Common Job Interview Mistakes.. Pg 9 You shouldn’t be stumbling over the basics

The Ten Keys to Success at Job Pg 12 and Career Fairs You have two to five minutes to market yourself

Workplace Humor Pg 15 How to reduce stress with inoffensive office Humor

Just for fun Witty & Hilarious Work Jokes Pg 17

For advertising opportunities in our magazine contact us at: Phone: 604.971.3357 Email: [email protected]

To go to our website Click Here

Page 4: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 4

Resume Presentation is Key

By: Richard Moore

Key words are important when a résumé

is being scanned, particularly when being scanned by software which a very few

companies are doing now. However, when a human being is reviewing

resumes, which is 98% of the time, resume presentation also plays an

important role in winning an interview over the other candidates who are

applying for the same position as you.

When a resume looks almost exactly the

same as the one before it and the one before that etc. they tend to be

overlooked regardless of the keywords. The

majority of resumes sent to potential employers,

employment agencies and recruitment agencies by

jobseekers tend to be a word document resume

and all of them are very close in structure and

format.

Let‟s put it this way:

You are the marketer and sales agent for

yourself, your skills and work experience. This means that you need to sell yourself

and your skills to a potential employer in a better way than the competition for

any particular job position being offered.

In much the same way that an

advertising company has to sell their services by impressing the potential

client with a presentation that will get their attention, so must a resume do the

same thing.

The first impression and presentation is the key to getting a potential employer

to then look for keywords and go on to look at skill sets and experience. Times

have changed! There are more people

applying to every job offer than ever before. Employers are receiving 100‟s if

not thousands of resumes for every job posting they

advertise. Finding a way to present yourself with your

resume which will get the potential employers

attention is the first step in getting that all

important interview.

In order to be a step ahead of most everyone else, the text

document resume evolved into a Bio

Resume. The Bio Resume offered a glimpse into a person‟s character and

personality as well as showcasing their skills and experience. These bio resumes

have worked very well for those using this format.

To build a resume that will get you noticed there are a few things that need to be considered.

1. Be creative in the look, format, layout and presentation of your resume.

Remember, your presentation, if done properly, will get the potential employers attention

2. Take a close look at the job being offered and the company offering the position

Page 5: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 5

3. Breakdown the job posting and pick keywords used in that posting for use in your

resume 4. Write your career objective in a way that emulates the companies business model

that you are applying to 5. In your Career Skills and Employment History sections, make sure you show

bottom lines; numbers that show you helped grow the business of your previous employers and the ideas or projects you implemented that were successful in

helping the growth of the company

These 5 things will make your resume shine and give you the competitive edge.

To give you more insight into what this means (offering a better presentation than your competition) and for further research into increasing your percent of resumes sent to

interviews received. I have found this to be an amazing resource. Dynamic Bio Resumes

To View Our Website Click Here

Page 6: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 6

Page 7: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 7

The Phone Interview: How Not To Mess It Up!

Always be ready to answer the recruiter's call

By: Amanda Frank

The job hunter‟s job doesn‟t end in a blitz of resumes. You‟re technically on

call for the next few months it takes to find a job. Condition yourself to think

that any incoming call could be a recruiter wanting to schedule an

interview or conduct a quick one on the spot. Be prepared to put

aside whatever it is you‟re doing and focus on your

conversation. Stay clear on your objective, which is to

secure a face-to-face interview and make it

through the next round of

elimination.

Answering Calls at Home

Don‟t get too cocky about your home field advantage.

Talking to a recruiter in the familiar surrounding of your

house can be a wonderful salve for the nerves, just

don‟t get so comfortable you overlook proper telephone etiquette i.e.

no inhaling, ingesting or eliminating. Since you can‟t bat your eyelashes over

the phone you‟re going to have to charm

them with your mind. Turn off the TV and pay extra close attention to the call.

Designate a quiet uncluttered place that

you can sit upright, think clearly and take notes. Keep a pen, notepad and

printed copy of your resume on hand. Ideally pick a spot with Internet access

so you can jump online during the call to check out the company website. Think of

it like professional staging, keeping a space in your house perpetually spotless

for unannounced recruiter visits.

Ask for Contact Information Again

Don‟t trust your brain. Spare yourself the torture of trying

to remember if her name was Ann-Marie, Annabelle or

Anne of Green Gables.

Ask for her name, even if

you feel silly because she told it to you when she

introduced herself. Ask her to spell it. Take note of the

company and recruiter firm.

As you‟ve noticed most cell phones today double as

address books, input the contact information and then

purposefully press Save! You won‟t be able to retrieve this information

if you get distracted and accidentally discard it.

Clean Up Your Communication Tools

Follow suit for every communications tool a recruiter passes through to reach you.

Record a new voicemail greeting

including your name so that recruiters know they‟ve found the right person.

Page 8: Dynamic Career Solutions

Set the ringtone on your cell phone to a

traditional ringer or if you must opt for music go with something sophisticated.

All of a sudden my cell carrier started

playing the song I set for my ringtone as my ringback tone, what the caller hears

while waiting for the callee to pick-up. Please enjoy this music while you wait

for your third-party to connect! Make sure what follows isn‟t Rah rah ooh la la!

When to Let the Call go to Voicemail

Cell phones are famous for interruptions.

A recruiter can catch you in line at the

store, picking up your kid at school or scooping up after your dog. Besides the

risk of a dropped call, you might not have a pen handy or a quiet environment

in which to focus your attention. Let it go to voicemail.

If you‟re in the bathroom let it go

to voicemail. If you‟re driving let it go to

voicemail. If you‟re in a mall or grocery store,

let it go to voicemail; it might be too hard to find a quiet corner to

ace the call and meet your next objective, which is getting closer to

that interview.

Shield recruiters from the realities of

your home life, particularly if World War Three is happening in your living room.

Sometimes it‟s impossible to control the noise levels of other people that live in

your house. You can be Trump in the boardroom but the recruiter will only

remember your screeching kid in the throes of a tantrum. Let it go to

voicemail or ask to reschedule the call.

Source: Monster

To View Our Website Click Here

Imagine your advertisement here!

Page 9: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 9

Common Job Interview Mistakes That You Are Probably Making

By: Elizabeth Bromstein

Are you having trouble landing a great

job despite being super-awesome? Maybe you‟re deluded and you‟re actually

not awesome at all. Or maybe you just give bad interviews.

A lot of people (I suspect maybe even the majority) are terrible in interviews.

But you can fix it with just a few simple adjustments, according to Liz Holland of

the Toronto-based Career Council, which offers “interview coaching by the best!”

Holland, who has a British

accent and who I therefore

assume is very smart, offers the following

interview tips and shares the biggest mistakes

people make, which can all be put down to lack of

preparation. Those Boy Scouts are onto something.

1. Know your own strengths. Holland

says, “I usually start off by asking people

to tell me a bit about themselves and their strengths. I would say nine out of

ten people — and I‟m being generous — probably struggle to tell me even 2-3

strengths. This applies all the way up to senior people.”

Are you great with deadlines? Are you

highly organized? Great. Now you only need eight more. “I say ten” says

Holland, “because you‟re not going to

remember them all on the day.

“But they haven‟t even thought about it,” she adds. “They put so much thought

into their lovely resume: ‟should I use bullet points or little stars?‟ And then,

when you ask them to sell themselves

they‟re not able to do it.”

You don‟t need to answer every question

perfectly, she says, “But you shouldn‟t be stumbling over the basics.”

2. Know the company with which

you’re applying. Holland says, “The second mistake people make, and this

shocks me, is not knowing the answer to the question „What do you know about

the firm?‟

“It‟s so basic. There was

a time, before the internet, when people

had to go down to the library to do their

research. Now it takes two seconds and they

don‟t even do that.

“What do you know about

the firm? What‟s the firm‟s mission statement? What appeals to you about

working here? You‟d be shocked at how people stumble over that one.”

3. Have stories. “A common form of

interviewing is behavioral interviewing,” Holland explains. “Past behavior predicts

future behavior. They‟re going to ask for

exact stories to illustrate how you have behaved in the past, because they think

that is how you‟ll behave in the future. And it‟s quite true. So, you want to have

short stories, selling You, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Present

the situation; show how you responded to the situation and the end result

because you were involved.

Page 10: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 10

“So, suddenly someone says „Tell us

about a time you met a deadline‟ or „Tell us about a time you dealt with a difficult

situation.‟ If you haven‟t thought up some stories beforehand, they‟re going

to be difficult to come up with when you‟ve got three people looking at you in

a boardroom.

“And if you don‟t answer the first question well, it‟s not going to get better.

If something starts to go badly, you lose

confidence really quickly and it gets worse.”

4. Don’t be late. You can even do a

dry run. Holland suggests having a look at the building beforehand if you can and

making sure you know where you‟re going. Why?

“It does not matter what the excuse is for even being five or ten minutes late.

You have lost that job. Check the trains if you‟re coming in from out of town. Don‟t

take the one that will get you in close to the time. Get the one that will get you in

an hour before and go have a coffee. Relax, breathe, don‟t be the one that‟s

scrambling.”

Among other little tips: watch that you

don‟t use “like” and “you know” every second word. Holland and I talked about

that here.

Also, ladies, give a firm handshake. “The limp fish handshake is such a thing,”

Holland says. “In that first twelve seconds, you‟ve got to make good eye

contact, smile and offer a firm handshake.” (Firm, she says, not

crushing.)

Consider the position of the person doing

the hiring. “These people are not mind readers. They don‟t know you. You‟ve

got to tell them.

“The HR person who is going to forward the candidate to the manager or VP

doesn‟t want to make mistakes because

it doesn‟t reflect well on them. And the manager or VP doesn‟t want to make a

mistake. They want to feel safe. It‟s a big thing appointing people.”

Ultimately, “It takes so little to be the

person that stands out. Prepare yourself. The person that does that will be the

person that gets the job.”

Source: Workopolis

Imagine your advertisement here!

Page 11: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 11

DYNAMIC BIO RESUMES

To View Our Website Click Here

Page 12: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 12

The Ten Keys to Success at Job and Career Fairs

By: Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D.

There are many types of job and career fairs -- from ones scheduled during Spring

Break for college students to industry-specific ones for professionals -- but they all have one common theme: it's a chance for a company to meet and screen a large volume of

potential job candidates. Whether you're a college student new to the job-hunting

process or a seasoned professional, these ten strategies will improve your odds of not being screened out and should lead to a deeper level of satisfaction with your efforts and

increase your chances of obtaining a second interview.

Keep in mind that career fairs should be just one small part of your entire job search process; however, they can be a successful part. Will these ten strategies guarantee you

success? Of course not, but by following these strategies, you will be in position to strategically place yourself above many of the other job-seekers who are attending the

fair.

The Ten Keys to Success:

1. Pre-register. Some career fairs allow job-

seekers to pre-register for the event, which usually includes submitting a resume or summary

resume. With more fairs going to the Web, pre-registration will most likely become even more

common. The idea behind pre-registering, of

course, is that employers get a chance to prescreen applicants and possibly make note of

applicants they want to meet at the fair. Does pre-registration guarantee that you will get

noticed or that employers will even look at the registrations? No, but why would you not take

advantage of such an easy step? 2. Research. Many job-seekers go to fairs to "see the sights" and are not prepared

to interview. You can get a huge jump on the competition by getting a list of the

companies attending the fair and doing some research on each of the companies

you want to interview with; don't waste time with companies that do not interest

you. While all of the recruiters will have company literature at their booths at the

fair, you often can't access those until after the interview. With so much

information about companies on the Web, there is no excuse not to do your

homework. A great site to help you with this strategy is our Guide to Researching

Companies.

3. Resumes. Bring lots of resumes to the fair -- at least two for each company for

which you have an interest. If you have multiple interests or job objectives, make

sure you bring enough of each version of your resume. For tips on writing a

Page 13: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 13

traditional resume, visit these resume resources. You should also bring scannable

versions of your resumes. More and more recruiters are simply bringing these

collected stacks of resumes back to the corporate office and scanning them into a

database. Need assistance with developing a scannable resume? Then visit these

scannable resume fundamentals.

4. Portfolios. More and more career experts are emphasizing the importance of

career portfolios. These portfolios should include copies of your resumes, a list of

references, and samples of your best work. While most career fair interviews are

fairly short, there may be opportunities for discussing your portfolio with a

recruiter -- either over a short break or meal or during a second interview on-site.

It is best to always be prepared no matter what happens. Read our article, Your

Job Skills Portfolio: Giving You an Edge in the Marketplace.

5. Attire. Conservative business attire is essential, even for those Spring Break

beachside career fairs because image and first impressions are critical. Know what

is the expected attire of your profession and dress accordingly. It is always better

to be overdressed than underdressed. Read more in our Dress for Success section

of Quintessential Careers.

6. Strategy. You need to devise a strategy or plan of attack for the fair. You've

already done the first step by researching the companies you are interested in.

The second step is seeing if any new companies have registered when you arrive

at the fair. The third step is surveying the layout of the fair and determining an

order of interviewing. Some experts suggest meeting with your top choices first

thing in the morning, interviewing with your other choices in the middle of the

day, and returning to your top choices at the end of the day to thank them again

for their time. But remember to stay flexible as your top choices may be the top

choices of many, creating long lines that you may wish to avoid.

7. Interviewing. You may only have two to five minutes to market yourself and

protect yourself from being screened out, thus you need to make the most of your

time. Many experts suggest that you develop a one-minute "commercial" that

highlights the key benefits that you can offer the organization -- and then use it at

the beginning of the interview. Also remember the three keys to all interviews:

make eye contact, offer a firm handshake, and show enthusiasm. You should also

prepare answers to interview questions just as you would any employment

interview. The most common question

you will face is something along the lines

of "what are you here for today?" Seems

like an easy question to answer,

especially if you've done your homework

and can tailor your answer to your

interests and the company's interests,

Page 14: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 14

thereby marketing yourself. Make sure you also have some questions ready to ask

the interviewer. A great concluding question for you to ask is, "What do I need to

do to obtain a second interview with your firm?" Finally, make sure to avoid poor

communication bad habits, such as fidgeting, rocking, chewing gum, etc. Follow

this link for more interviewing tips and resources.

8. Intangibles. There are several other things you can do to help make your career

fair experience a success. First, don't waste your time interviewing with companies

you have no desire to work for; do make sure to interview with all the companies

you do want to work for. Second, if you did not prepare for a company you want

to interview for, try eavesdropping on several of the interviews ahead of you so

you can better prepare; do also try to get some company literature from the booth

before getting in line so you can read about the company while waiting; don't just

stand in line doing nothing. Third, do extend common courtesies, such as offering

to get the recruiter a beverage or snack; don't be upset if the recruiter has to take

a break before your interview. Fourth, if your ideal company is hiring computer

technicians and you want to work in accounting, do still interview with the

company at the fair, being sure to leave the interview with the contact information

of the person responsible for hiring in that area; don't be discouraged and walk

away.

9. Networking. Career fairs are all about networking. Of course, you are building a

network with the recruiters -- this task is your most vital. However, you can also

network with your fellow job-seekers in terms of sharing information about job

leads, companies, and their recruiting strategies and styles. There may also be

professional organizations or employment agencies on hand at the fair, which are

also good sources for networking. Learn more by visiting: The Art of Networking.

10. Follow-up. Don't take the order of this key to mean it to be the least important;

in fact, some would say it is one of the most important. You would be surprised at

how few job-seekers actually take the time to follow-up their career fair

interviews, thus when you do it, you will get an edge over the many others who do

not. There are two main methods of follow-up. Some experts suggest actually

calling the recruiter the evening of the fair and leaving a voicemail message

thanking the recruiter again for his/her time that day. A more concrete and

traditional method is to write a thank you note and mail it the next day to the

address on the recruiter's business card. In the letter, thank the recruiter for

his/her time, restate your interest and qualifications for the position, reiterate your

interest in a second interview, and make a promise to follow-up the letter with a

phone call (and then make sure you do in fact call). You probably should enclose

another copy of your resume to be sure.

Source: QuintessentialCareers. com

Page 15: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 15

Workplace Humor: How To Reduce Stress With Inoffensive Office Humor

By: Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

It‟s been well-documented that humor

and laughter can reduce stress and provide many other benefits. And few

areas of life are more stressful than the workplace. So, not surprisingly, it‟s been

found that office humor can be a good stress-reliever, reducing job stress,

boosting morale, bringing people closer,

and perhaps even warding off burnout. Unfortunately, it can also alienate people

and create a more hostile work environment, even sparking lawsuits, all

of which creates more stress in the end.

According to recent research from Professor Christopher LeGrow from

Marshall University, workplace humor can help people de-stress, but it can

often be offensive. In fact, around 70%

of people polled reported that workplace jokes they’d heard

centered around making fun of co-workers based on factors like age,

sexual orientation and even weight! Additionally, 40% admitted that they

themselves had made fun of a co-worker’s age or weight. Other popular

workplace joke topics included jokes based on accents, personal hygiene, and

work behavior (like poor attendance,

asking the wrong questions, or working

too closely with the boss).

While there wasn‟t a big difference

between what men and women found offensive in office humor, women were

more likely to be offended at remarks targeting their physical characteristics,

such as weight, scars or cleavage.

Often, office jokes intended to be humorous weren‟t received that way,

according to LeGrow. When workers are offended or threatened by jokes, it‟s time

for the company to step in and curtail

the situation, as it then becomes a liability and a problem for morale and

productivity.

So what‟s behind this delicate balance of offensive vs. funny office humor, and

how can workers enjoy the stress-relieving benefits of humor and laughter

without the damaging effects of offensive jokes? It seems that it‟s not humor itself

that‟s the problem, but the use of humor

to convey messages that are in and of themselves offensive. Here are some

guidelines to remember when you‟re telling jokes around the office:

Think of The Message: Ask yourself what the point, or underlying message, of

your joke is. Are you using humor to say something that you wouldn‟t say to someone without the joke attached?

Know Your Audience: If you‟re teasing someone about a physical feature, a scar, for example, do you know them well enough to know if they are comfortable

enough with that feature to be matter-of-fact about it, or would mention of it be hurtful?

Leave Serious Topics Alone: Don‟t joke about topics that are controversial or painful to someone else, like death, physical disabilities, sexual harassment or

racial inequalities (or race in general). Just don‟t do it.

Page 16: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 16

Be Careful of Politics: While a surprising number of people make political jokes,

it‟s very important to know your audience, and avoid making political jokes that would offend someone of a different ideology if they‟re part of the group.

Something that sounds hilarious when Jon Stewart says it might sound crass coming from someone else.

When In Doubt, Leave It Out: If you‟re not sure how a joke will be received, it‟s best not to tell it. Some people say that society is too “politically correct” or that

people offended by certain jokes are “too sensitive”, but it‟s about respecting the people around you. Nobody wants to be made the butt of jokes, and it‟s best to

joke about a neutral topic. Emulate Seinfeld, Not The Office: Reruns of Seinfeld, or any of his stand-up

routines, provide perfect examples of (mostly) inoffensive but hilarious comedy. Everyone can relate to these jokes because they generally target human nature,

the quirks of society, and don‟t single out groups based on features like race, sex or other features. Seinfeld makes us laugh at ourselves, and not at the expense of

others. Steve Carell‟s character on The Office, however, gives perfect examples of

what not to do. From belittling people, to constantly adding sexual innuendo by saying, “That‟s what she said!” to singling out people based on weight, sex, race

and other offensive features, “Michael” is hilarious because he constantly does exactly what you shouldn’t do!

When dealing with people who use

workplace humor offensively or aggressively, use assertive

communication to stand up for yourself or others, or change the subject and joke

about other (safer) topics. Your co-

workers should appreciate it, and you‟ll be creating a more friendly, comfortable

(but still fun) work environment.

Source: Newswise

DYNAMIC BIO RESUMES To View Our Website Click Here

Page 17: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 17

WITTY & HILARIOUS WORKER AND WORKPLACE HOMOUR,

AMUSING & SATIRICAL FUNNY WORK JOKES

Criticized by his manager for having taken time off work to go have his hair cut the

office clerk defended himself: "Well.. it does, also, at the company's time grow…"

An administrator didn't like 'yes' men -not after he already said 'no.'

What are night club bouncers?.. Men who throw disturbing parties…

"The next place" said the tour guide, "is 'no smoking' -we can't go there yet…" One of the tourists asked "Why?!.. None of us is smoking..?!" The tour guide replied, "I am…"

A legal secretary is a girl over 18 in Britain, and over 21 in the USA.

"Advocate!.." warned the judge, "Are you trying to show contempt for this court..!?" The well-connected lawyer assured: "No, your honor -I am trying to conceal it…"

The over-zealous shop assistant resented being needled by his fellow employees that on

each and every occasion, on each and every issue, he licked the shop owner's boots, each and every day -he pointed out that the owner only came in three days a week…

"Anything you say," said the policewoman to the drunk driver, "may be held against

you!" His protests ignored, he sighed "Oh!.. You..!"

One of the two elderly ladies exchanging gossip on the telephone in a small and out of town village with a small telephone-exchange, said to the other, "I hope the operator

isn't listening in to our conversation…" A third voice was heard on the line and said "Madam, we don't do things like that..!"

The new controller was overjoyed.. the managing director who had always ignored him and had been so critical of him was overheard referring to him as a perfect non-entity…

He was very much wanting, said the librarian to the new archivist, to compliment him on

his work -and was looking forward to when he would do some…

The chairman of the board of directors put his proposals to vote." All those who oppose," he said, "say 'I resign'…"

The boss had many men under him -he was a funeral director…

Some accountants are so mean, they want to have receipts even for any compliments

Page 18: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 18

that they pay...

Some employees grow on their employers -the way warts do…

"Tell me," asked the prosecuting attorney "did you, or did you not sleep with this beauty

contestant!?" The reply was: "Not a blink, Sir!"

"How many people work here?" asked the new factory foreman to the production manager, and he replied: "About half of them…"

People take their hats off to the boss -he runs a barber shop…

The child psychologist employed by a toy shop had to be called when a difficult child

would not part with a toy his parent would not buy, and, it took the expert only to whisper something to the child for the child to put back the toy and run out of the toy

shop. Later, the kid told his parent what it was that the child expert said to him: "He

told me, if I didn't put it back and get out, he'd wring my neck!..."

The female soldiers employed in the armed forced were issued black underwear during the world war air raids -the army chiefs had been instructed to ensure all places of

entertainment to be darkened…

"How come," the wages clerk criticized the laborer, "that when you were under-paid you came and let me know, and I have had to come to you, this time that you have been

overpaid in error..?!" Replied the worker: "I didn't want to embarrass you again, by telling you that also this time, yet again, you made a mistake..."

Asked if it was a sin for a young man to sleep with a young woman, a cleric answered:

"But, that's just what they don't do -they don't sleep, do they…?"

At the doctor's the nurse asked the patient with dream complaints if he saw a

psychiatrist?" "No," said the patient, "only dogs and cats."

The methods of a company's boss in seeking increased production that would enable expansion were so popular with his employees that they all looked forward to the day

that those working for him would come to include an undertaker and grave diggers.

The new executive never ever said an unkind word against any member of his staff -he always talked only about himself…

"What!?.." responded the receptionist who had asked for time off work to get married,

when the boss remarked "You have only just had your summer holidays -why didn't you get married then..?" She expressed her surprised at the suggestion: "And ruin my

holidays?!.."

"Shorthand..?" asked the interviewer at the employment agency to the applicant

Page 19: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 19

secretary. She replied: "Yes, but not as fast as longhand."

Taxpayers are employees, said someone, who do not have to pass civil or public service

examinations to work for the government…

A sales manager was rather surprised that the brownies wanting to sell him cookies were not attempting any sales talk. "Why do you want to sell me these nice cookies,

then..?" he asked them, and one of the girls replied, "Because you are so handsome…" The sales manager was heard, as he walked away munching the cookies he had bought,

saying to himself "Yes.. that's what sells -truth and honesty."

She was the best window dresser in the neighborhood -she never pulled down the shades!

"These apartments are so small..!" remarked a would-be tenant. The estate agent

commented "Oh, that's to leave no room for complaints."

The psychoanalyst asked what the patient dreamed the night before and, upon being

told "Nothing", snapped: "Sir, how am I supposed to help you, if you don't do your homework..?!"

Statesmen‟s diplomatic communiqués, were likened, in the anecdotes of the witty

teacher and thinker the late Orhan Seyfi Ari, to a radio broadcaster of a boxing match who excitedly told the audiences “A left hook by Abdi!.. A right hook by Bandinelli!..”

and announced the winner as.. Abdinelli…

"This, of course, is only a suggestion," said the chairman of the board to the directors "It's for to you to bear in mind whose suggestion it is"

An executive can find his wife when he takes his secretary to lunch…

When late home the worker told his wife on the entry-phone that he had been discussing a labor dispute which might lead to strike, was told "Go stay there then to consider this

lock out!"

Reading in the newspaper that a confectioner was pelted at his wedding with small sweets, a brick layer cancelled his.

Some bosses are known to have fired their secretaries for mistakes they would not

make…

Worthy politicians, traditionally, are employed in wordy causes… Source: Articlesbase.com

Page 20: Dynamic Career Solutions

Dynamic Career Solutions – Issue 5 – March 1 – March 15, 2011 Page 20