Discipline & Guidance

The keys to well-behaved children.

Positive Discipline http://

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tBbL7VcNh0

GuidanceCONTINUAL long-

term influence on behavior

Guide through example, word, action

AdviceCan be positive or

negative

Discipline Behavior medication

when needed Teach/train behavior

by instruction and exercise

Punishment Penalty inflicted for

wrongdoing, a crime or offense

Verbal, withhold privileges negatively, hit, spank, hurt

Temporary and doesn’t teach self-discipline

Demeans child

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAyuhfZ85nE

Why do they do it?Reasons for Misbehavior

1. Normal behavior for the child’s age The action is age and developmentally

appropriate Caregiver: Have appropriate

expectations for the child’s developmental age

2. Natural curiosity The child is curious to know what the

result or response would be for the action

Caregiver: Provide opportunities to experiment and satisfy curiosity

3. They do not know any better Inadequate or misunderstood

instructions They are trying something new and

don’t realize the consequences Caregiver: Have appropriate

expectations for the child’s developmental age. Make sure instructions are clearly said and understood

4. To get attention The child just wants the caregiver’s

attention – they prefer positive attention, but negative is attention too

Caregiver: Give attention only to that which you want to be repeated and ignore questionable or undesirable behavior.

5. To get power Children want some power and control

in their lives Caregiver: Refuse to engage in power

struggles. Give children choices for what they want to do, wear, ear, etc. Listen to their ideas.

6. For revenge Children want to do what they want

without anyone getting in the way Caregiver: Discuss the mistaken goal,

pay attention to appropriate choices, and provide love.

7. Feeling inadequate or incapable Constantly being corrected or being

given negative reinforcement might make a kid quit trying because they are afraid to fail

Caregiver: provide encouragement for their successes and attempts. Refrain from jumping in or fixing every task

8. The need to feel that they belong Wanting to find a place in a family or

peer group where they fit in. This place may be positive or negative, but the need is met.

Caregiver: Provide unconditional acceptance, concern, and interest in the child.

SpankingWhat do you think?

Spanking….Right or Wrong??? http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/07/health/s

panking-mental-illness-reaction/

Tough Love vs. Spanking Most of America’s population thinks it is

improper to spank children. I recently heard from a friend who has tried other methods to control their kids when they have one of “those moments”.

One that she found very effective was to just take the child for a car ride and talk.

They usually calmed down and stopped misbehaving after their little outing together.

Here is the photo of one of those sessions with my friend’s son in case you would like to try this technique.

Discipline TechniquesEach child is different and

different things will work for each child.

Positive Statements Clearly State what the child is expected

to do instead of telling them what not to do

Example: “Walk in the house” vs. “Don’t run in the house”

Get down on the child’s eye level to talk

Change these into Positive Statements:1. Don’t stand on the table!!!2. You are being very bad!3. Don’t chew with your mouth open, that’s disgusting!4. I can see your underwear. Put your dress down now!

Redirect Attention If a child is doing something you do not

want them to do….give them something else to do.

Distract them with another option Example: Have them jump on a

trampoline instead of a bed

                                                            

Reverse Attention Ignore negative behavior when possible

and reinforce the positive POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

Example – if their room is always messy, but one day they happen to have a really clean corner, then make a big deal out of the clean corner!

Time Out Remove child from situation causing heightened

emotion until they have calmed down Used sparingly, after other techniques have

been applied Use a place with NO distractions One minute for each year of age Make an effort to notice when child makes better choice after a time out

Time Out Video Clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFZIn

f15_QM

Loss of Privilege Remove a privilege if behavior is

inappropriate. Lots of different privileges can be

removed. Be consistent! Follow through.

Setting Limits Setting a guideline for behavior State limits clearly and firmly Use consequences as a form of

discipline when rules are broken Give your child the WHY for the limits.

Setting Limits - MORE Some parents struggle with setting

limits, but limits are GOOD for kids. Limits show children what to do and say and help them cope with their impulses and anxieties.

Limited Choices Give children

opportunities to make choices within caregiver’s limits

Limit the number of options provided

This gives a child practice making decisions and they feel in control of the situation

                                                                

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL8kcHlzem0

Natural & Logical Consequences

Natural: occur without interference – let nature take its course

Logical: occur with interference from caregiver Related to misbehavior Not done in anger Short duration Provide opportunities for child to learn

Super Nanny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRfR

rP5ZeI8

END

Authoritarian ParentingParent is in

control.Child is forced to

obey.Parents are strict,

no room for freedom.

Child may feel scared of parent or want to rebel.

Video Clip - Authoritarian http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPpq

t8wA-MM

Permissive ParentingChild is in controlParent may

threaten but never follows through.

No consistency.Child may feel

that parents don’t care about them.

Video Clip - Permissive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oknZ-

Hp5QEw

Authoritative (Democratic) Parenting

Balance of both types.

Parent sets rules, child expected to obey.

Child allowed more freedom as responsibility increases.

Child may not like the rules but they are fair & consistent.

Video Clip – Authoritative/Democratic http://

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHRWZEnNvHA

THE END