Damon Quotes

8/6/2019 Damon Quotes

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/damon-quotes 1/26

Jeremy Gilbert : [ Knocks on the Salvatore brothers door before Damon answers] I need

to talk to ya. Damon Salvatore: And when I need to talk to you?

[Tries to close the door on Jeremy] Jeremy Gilbert : Tyler Lockwood has to kill someone to activate his curse. He's not a

werewolf yet. Damon Salvatore: [Sarcastically] Wow, fascinating. Not enough.

[Tries to close the door again on Jeremy, but Jeremy pushes it open] Jeremy Gilbert : But Mason Lockwood is, and he's looking for a moonstone. A specialrock connected to the werwolf legend. That's why he's here.

Damon Salvatore: A moonstone? Jeremy Gilbert : And I know where it is. Damon Salvatore: And you're bringing me this, why?

Damon Salvatore: What does your sister say about this little discovery?

[Sees Jeremy's unease]

Damon Salvatore: Oh, you haven't told her, have you? Jeremy Gilbert : Elena doesn't want me to get involved in all of this. Damon Salvatore: And you're a Gilbert. You just can't help yourself.

Damon Salvatore: [to Jeremy] Wow. Your search for lives purpose is as obvious as it is

tragic.

Damon Salvatore: Mmmm... Vanessa, the hottie!

Alaric Saltzman: [Talking about the curse] Since then... err... werewolves can only turn

on a full moon and vampires are... weakened by the sun.

Damon Salvatore: [Waves his hand with his ring on it ] Most of them anyway.

Damon Salvatore: Who has the stone now?

Jeremy Gilbert : Tyler. Damon Salvatore: Can you get it? Jeremy Gilbert : Yeah.

Damon Salvatore: See, now your life has purpose.

Alaric Saltzman Maybe Mason Lockwood believes he can use the moonstone to break the

curse. Damon Salvatore: If we start believing in some supernatural witchy-woo legend from a

picture book, we're idiots. Who has the stone now? Jeremy Gilbert : Tyler. Damon Salvatore: Can you get it? Jeremy Gilbert : Yeah. Damon Salvatore: See, now your life has purpose.

Jeremy Gilbert : So you do believe it? Damon Salvatore: It's the same book that says a werwolf bite kills a vampire. Ignoring itwould make me an even bigger... idiot.

http://name/nm1997596/




























































Elena Gilbert : Damon. What are you doing here? Damon Salvatore: Looking for my baby bro. Speaking of... you need to tell yours to stopfollowing me around.

Elena Gilbert : What's going on?

Damon Salvatore: Ask 'Eager Beaver'.

Stefan Salvatore: [Talking about Damon including Jeremy in the things about werewolves] Why would you involve Jeremy?[Slaps Damon on the arm]

Damon Salvatore: He's playing 'Indiana Jones'. He involved himself.

Bonnie Bennett : What do you want? Damon Salvatore: A favour.

Bonnie Bennett : Like that's gonna happen! Damon Salvatore: So predictable!

Stefan Salvatore: [to Bonnie] I know how you feel about helping us out, but since you're

the one who linked Mason to Katherine, we finally have an opportunity to get an upper hand on both of them, so just hear us out.

Damon Salvatore: Pretty please.

Stefan Salvatore: Can you play nice? Please? Damon Salvatore: Yes.

Damon Salvatore: All you have to do is touch Mason Lockwood again, see if he gaveKatherine the moonstone.

Bonnie Bennett : My visions don't work like that. I don't get to ask questions. Damon Salvatore: How inconvenient!

Damon Salvatore: [about Bonnie's power on hurting vampires with her mind ] Is a

vampire specific? Bonnie Bennett : It would work on anyone with a supernatural healing ability.

Damon Salvatore: Good. Good, good.

Bonnie Bennett : Damon, I'm not gonna help you hurt him. Damon Salvatore: Mason Lockwood is a werewolf, Katherine is evil, they're the bad

guys. Really? You're gonna play Morality Police with me right now? Lets put it to you

another way, they're a threat to Elena, but you witch are gonna get over yourself and helpus.

[Stefan walks over ]Stefan Salvatore: Yeah, he meant that as a question, with a please on the end. Damon Salvatore: Absolutely.

Damon Salvatore: She seduce you? Tell you she loved you? You're supernatural, so she

can't compel you. I'm sure she used her other charms. Katherine's good that way.





















































Mason Lockwood : [Talking about Katherine] She's going to use it to lift the curse. Damon Salvatore: Of the moon? So why would a vampire help a werewolf break a cursewhich keeps them from turning whenever they want?

Mason Lockwood : So I wouldn't have to turn anymore!

Damon Salvatore: Why?Mason Lockwood : Because she loves me.

Damon Salvatore: [Chuckles] Now I get it. You're just stupid! Katherine doesn't love

you, she's using you, you moron!

Damon Salvatore: You know, I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less

intelligent version.

Damon Salvatore: Elena.

[ Elena stops from opening the door ] Damon Salvatore: I'm the one who helped Katherine on, I wasn't thinking, I didn't think!

Elena Gilbert : It doesn't matter. Damon... she won. Katherine won.[She opens the front door and walks out ]

Damon Salvatore: If I do this, you and me, call it a truce?

Bonnie Bennett : No. But you'll do it anyway.

[Smiles] Bonnie Bennett : For Elena.

Damon Salvatore: [about his kiss with Katherine, thinking she was Elena] Hey, if you

wanna forget it happened, fine... but I can't! [ His realisation that Katherine's back ] Oh!You've gotta be kidding me!

Elena Gilbert : [Seeing Stefan hurt on the floor because of Katherine] Stefan. W-Whathappened?

Damon Salvatore: Katherine happened.

Damon Salvatore: [about Katherine] Well she certainly knows how to make an entrance.

Stefan Salvatore: She-She fooled one of us. What does that mean? Damon Salvatore: She pretended to be Elena too when I showed up earlier tonight. Elena Gilbert : [Walks in] I told Jeremy. I can't lie to him anymore.Stefan Salvatore: [Walks over to Elena] You alright?

Elena Gilbert : No, I'm not alright. I thought with all the tomb vampires gone, thinks

would get better.Stefan Salvatore: I know. We all did.

Elena Gilbert : Katherine was in this house so she was invited in. What are we gonna do? Damon Salvatore: Move.





















































Stefan Salvatore: What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena? Damon Salvatore: It's risking another frown line encroaching on a very crowded

forehead. We... kissed. Elena Gilbert : And you thought it was me?

Stefan Salvatore: What do you mean you kissed?

Damon Salvatore: Well... you know, when two lips pucker and they go[makes kissing noises]

Damon Salvatore: .

Damon Salvatore: I've got a better idea.

Elena Gilbert : What's that? Damon Salvatore: [about Katherine] I'm just gonna ignore the bitch.Stefan Salvatore: Yeah... then what? Damon Salvatore: Stake her, rip her head off... something poetic.

Bonnie Bennett : [ Asking about the Mayor being effected by the device] Do you want to

know why? Damon Salvatore: Yes Bonnie, I would love to know why a non-vampire was tortured by

the vampire torture device that you let John Gilbert use against us.

Damon Salvatore: Speaking of your guilt, how's Caroline? Bonnie Bennett : She's much better. Damon Salvatore: You're welcome. Bonnie Bennett : No, you're welcome. Damon Salvatore: Why am I welcome? Bonnie Bennett : You live to see another day. Damon Salvatore: No good deed goes unpunished with you does it?

Elena Gilbert : Hey. How you doing? Damon Salvatore: [Sarcastically] Great Elena. Walking on sunshine, thanks for asking.

Elena Gilbert : Damon. Damon Salvatore: Elena.

Damon Salvatore: You think Katherine's gonna send me off the deep end don't ya? I don't

need her for that.

Damon Salvatore: I kissed you.Though you kissed me back. Doppelganger high jinx

ensued. How do you think I'm doing? Elena Gilbert : I think that you're hurt. Damon Salvatore: Mmm... no I don't get hurt Elena.

Elena Gilbert : No, you don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry, cover it up, then you

do something stupid. Damon Salvatore: You're scared. You think Katherine's gonna send me off the deep end

don't ya? I don't need her for that. You know what? Why is it such a surprise that I would

kiss you? Elena Gilbert : That's not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I would kiss you back.

































































Damon Salvatore: Now I'm hurt.

Stefan Salvatore: I'm not gonna fight you.

Damon Salvatore: Why? I'd fight me.

Damon Salvatore: [after kissing Katherine] Wait... brief pause. I have a question answer

it and it's back to fireworks and rockets and back to the glare, answer it right, I'll forget

the last one hundred and forty five years I've spent missing you. I'll forget how much Iloved you, I'll forget everything and we can start over. This can be our defining moment,

see we have the time, it's the beauty of eternity. I just need the truth, just once... Katherine Pierce: Stop. I already know the question and it's answer...

Elena Gilbert : [Walks from the bathroom and sees Damon sitting on her bed ] Oh God!

You scared me. Damon Salvatore: Just doing my part in neighbourhood watch.

Elena Gilbert : Thanks... for... uh... looking out for us. For me. Damon Salvatore: That's me. Your trusty bodyguard, calm in a crisis.

Damon Salvatore: Upset is an emotion specific for those who care.























Stefan Salvatore: [First line] Thanks for coming Rick.

Damon Salvatore: Can I get you something to drink, coffee, bourbon, bourbon and

coffee?

Alaric Saltzman: Why would I know anything about the Lockwoods?

Damon Salvatore: Well you wouldn't, but your dead/not dead vampire wife might!

Alaric Saltzman: [about Isbel's research] At the time I thought most of which was...

fiction.

Damon Salvatore: [about vampires existing ] Like that amazing vampire story!

Damon Salvatore: Sorry you can't come too Stef!

[ Looks over at Elena]

Stefan Salvatore: [ Ignores Damon and talks to Elena] Call me if you need anything.

Damon Salvatore: Oh, I'll take *really* good care of her.

[ Stefan and Elena start to kiss, making Damon uncomfortable]

Damon Salvatore: Ok... time to go.

Damon Salvatore: [to Elena] How you doing back there? You know this whole

'pretending to hate me' thing is getting a little silly.

Alaric Saltzman: I don't think she's pretending.

Damon Salvatore: Elena I saw the ring. Big tacky thing. It's hard to miss.

[ Rick lifts his ring up into shot ]

Damon Salvatore: [ Damon, Elena and Alaric are looking at Isabel's belongings at

Duke University. Damon realises Vanessa has gone] Where'd she go?

[ She appears with a cross and arrow and fires it at Elena, but Damon takes the arrow

and saves her ]

Damon Salvatore: Pull it out. I can't reach it Elena. Just pull the damn thing out. It

hurts.

[ Exhales while Elena pulls the arrow out ]

Damon Salvatore: That bitch is dead!

Elena Gilbert : Ah! You're not gonna kill her.

Damon Salvatore: Watch me.

[ Smirks]

Elena Gilbert : Right... I forgot that I was speaking to a psychotic mind who snaps

and kills people impulsively. Fine. Go ahead. Do whatever you want.

Damon Salvatore: You're trying to manipulate me.

Elena Gilbert : If by 'manipulate', you mean, tell the truth, ok... guilty.

Elena Gilbert : [to Vanessa] I'm Elena Gilbert, Isabel's daughter and a descendant of

Katherine Pierce. And this is Damon who you just shot.

Damon Salvatore: [to Vanessa] I'd be extra nice to me right now.

http://title/tt1636354/
















































Elena Gilbert : [ Elena and Victoria go through some of Isabel's things. Elena can see

Damon listening in so she hands Vanessa some Vervain] Here. Take this.

Vanessa Monroe: Does vervain really work?

Damon Salvatore: [From across the room] No. Not at all.

Vanessa Monroe: [ Leans towards Elena] Can he hear us? Damon Salvatore: [Whispering ] No, that would be creepy.

Vanessa Monroe: Can he read minds too?

Damon Salvatore: Well, if you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask.

Damon Salvatore: Any luck?

Elena Gilbert : There's nothing in here about Katherine that we don't already know.

Damon Salvatore: Aww man! You know it's a bummer that we aren't friends

anymore because I can tell you what I know.

Elena Gilbert : Now who's' manipulating who?

Vanessa Monroe: There's no record of werewolf mythology in Mystic Falls, but hereare some records of some of the lesser known legends. Everything from a

Scandinavian Skin Walkers to the Marsh L'durets. 'Tu De Citli Mesli' which

roughly translates into 'The Curse of the Sun and the Moon'

Alaric Saltzman: It's Native American?

Vanessa Monroe: Aztec. It explains one origin of the werwolf curse traced through

Virginia. The short story, six hundred years ago, the Aztecs were plagued by

werewolves and vampires. They terrorised the countryside, made farming and

hunting impossible, until an Aztec Sharman cursed them. Making vampires slaves

to the sun and werewolves servants of the moon. As a result, vampires could only

prowl at night and werewolves could only turn on a full moon. When the full moon

crest is in the sky, whosever unlucky enough to fall under the werwolf curse turns

into a wolf.

Damon Salvatore: Can they control the transformation?

Vanessa Monroe: If it were a choice, it wouldn't be called 'a curse'. Werewolves will

attack humans, but instinct in centuries of rivalry have hard-wired them to hunt

their prey of choice. Vampires.

[ Everyone looks at her ]

Damon Salvatore: Well, if werewolves are hunting vampires, I would know about it.

Vanessa Monroe: Not if there aren't that many werewolves left alive. Hundreds of

years ago vampires hunted them to almost to extinction.

Elena Gilbert : Why would they do that?

Vanessa Monroe: To protect themselves. Legend has it that a werewolf bite is fatal

to vampires.

Damon Salvatore: Oh...

Elena Gilbert : [about her likeness to Katherine] I just... I wanna know why we look

alike.

Damon Salvatore: Head scratcher isn't it?

Elena Gilbert : Do you know something or are you just being yourself?



















































Damon Salvatore: [to Elena about her hatred towards him] You know I chipped a

little bit off your wall of hatred.

Damon Salvatore: You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your

looks.







Damon Salvatore: I just have to say it once. You just need to here it. I love you,

Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you... I don't deserve

you, but my brother does.

Damon Salvatore: [about Taylor and Caroline helping Taylor ] Yeah, I don't

understand that. Guy's a tool.

Damon Salvatore: Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.

Stefan Salvatore: This has Katherine written all over it.

Damon Salvatore: Katherine's in the tomb. Trust me. I'm the one that shut her in.

Stefan Salvatore: Did you?

Damon Salvatore: Did I what Stefan?

Stefan Salvatore: Well I know the hold that Katherine has on you.

Damon Salvatore: She's in the tomb. Period. End of story. But she did say some

thing to me, right before I shut her in. I thought she was lying.

Stefan Salvatore: What did she say? Damon Salvatore: Elena's in danger.

Stefan Salvatore: What? And you didn't think to ask her to elaborate?

Damon Salvatore: But everything she says is a lie. How am I supposed to know she

start spouting out the truth?

Stefan Salvatore: Call me with whatever you find.

Jeremy Gilbert : No No, I'm coming with you.

Stefan Salvatore: No Jeremy. You're not.

Jeremy Gilbert : I'm not just gonna sit here while she's hurt or worse. What if she's...

Stefan Salvatore: She's not. You two go back to your house incase and I'll call you

the minute I find her.

Jeremy Gilbert : Well, you can't do this alone.

Damon Salvatore: [Walks through the door ] He's not. Let's go.

Stefan Salvatore: You coming with me?

Damon Salvatore: It's Elena.

Damon Salvatore: Alaric sure likes his weapons. What the hell is that?

Stefan Salvatore: Oh, it's a vervain bomber grenade launcher or something like that.

Damon Salvatore: Weird.

Stefan Salvatore: Thankyou. For helping me.

Damon Salvatore: Can we not do the whole roadtrip bonding thing? The cliche of it

all makes me itch.

Stefan Salvatore: Thankyou. For helping me.

Damon Salvatore: Can we not do the whole roadtrip bonding thing? The cliche of it

all makes me itch.

Stefan Salvatore: Aww, come on Damon. We both know you being in this car has































































absolutely nothing to do with me being in this car anyway.

Damon Salvatore: The elephant in the room lets out a mightily roar.

Damon Salvatore: [Takes from behind the his seat of the car a blood bag and starts to

drink it ] If you want some, just ask.

Stefan Salvatore: I want some. Damon Salvatore: Aww, that's so sweet. Want to be all big and strong, save your

girl. Well, don't worry, I've got your back, you'll be fine.

Stefan Salvatore: I'm not joking. I've been drinking a little everyday and slowly

increasing my intake and building up my strength.

[ Damon hands him the blood bag ]

Damon Salvatore: Elena know you're drinking blood?

Stefan Salvatore: [ Hands bag back ] I've been drinking hers.

Damon Salvatore: Hmm... how romantic.

[ Drinks some blood ]

Damon Salvatore: Since we're roadtrip bonding, remember the days when all youlived for was blood? You were the guy who ripped someone apart just for the fun of

it.

Stefan Salvatore: You mean, when I was more like you?

Damon Salvatore: Yes Stefan, exactly! Back when you put blood into me so I could

be a big, bad vampire. I wonder if Elena would be so quick to open her veins to that

guy. Tell me, what happened to that guy 'cause he was a hoot?

Damon Salvatore: Whoever has Elena is probably who is after Katherine in 1864

and before that.

Stefan Salvatore: And?

Damon Salvatore: And it puts them at 500 years old and strong! Are you sure you

want to do this?

Stefan Salvatore: Yes I'm certain I want to do it.

Damon Salvatore: 'Cause if we go into that house, we may not come out.

Stefan Salvatore: Alright, then I won't come out.

Damon Salvatore: [ Sarcastically] So noble Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore: Hey.

Damon Salvatore: What?

Stefan Salvatore: I'm sorry.

Damon Salvatore: About what?

Stefan Salvatore: For the guy who made you turn 145 years ago.

Damon Salvatore: Enough Stef, it's late. No need to rehatch that.

Stefan Salvatore: You know, I've never said it out loud. I guess I need to say it and

you need to hear it. I'm sorry. What I did was selfish and I want to be alone. I guess

I just needed my brother.

Damon Salvatore: Cute pj's.

Elena Gilbert : I'm tired Damon.

























































Damon Salvatore: Brought you this.

[ Holds out her necklace]

Elena Gilbert : I thought that was gone. Thankyou.

[about to take necklace but Damon pulls away]

Elena Gilbert : Please give it back.

Damon Salvatore: I just have to say something. Elena Gilbert : Why do you have to say it with my necklace?

Damon Salvatore: Because what I'm about to say is... probably the most selfish thing

I've ever said in my life.

Elena Gilbert : Damon. Don't go there.

Damon Salvatore: I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you

Elena. And it's because I love you that... I can't be selfish with you. And why you

can't know this. I don't deserve you... but my brother does.

[ Kisses her on her forehead ]

Damon Salvatore: God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... but you do.

[Compells her ]

Damon Salvatore: I just have to say something.

Elena Gilbert : Why do you have to say it with my necklace?

Elena Gilbert : Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing that

I've ever said in my life. I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love

you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you, why you can't

know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does. God, I wish that you didn't

have to forget this, but you do.

Damon Salvatore: Are you worried that one day, all the forest animals are gonna band

together and fight back? I mean surely they talk.

Damon Salvatore: I like this. You... walking on egg shells around me because you think

I'm going to explode. It's very suspensable. Is Elena worried too? I bet I'm your every

conversation.Stefan Salvatore: Have you heard from Katherine?

Damon Salvatore: [ Ignoring the question] I think the Lockwood's have a family secret.

'Cause the Gilbert device effected them but vervain didn't, so they're not vampires, they're

something else.Stefan Salvatore: Is this your new obsession?

Damon Salvatore: Oh, you'd rather some unknown supernatural element running rampant

in out town, Fine, I'll drop it.

Stefan Salvatore: We haven't seen the last of Katherine. You do know that right? Wehave no idea what she's up to. Damon Salvatore: Sure we do. She came back to press her undying eternal love for you.So I'll let you deal with her, 'cause I have more important things to do like... explode.

Damon Salvatore: Jeremy! So good to see you alive. Jeremy Gilbert : Aren't you a little old for a high school carnival? Damon Salvatore: A hundred and fifty years too old.

















































[Takes some of Jeremy's popcorn]

Stefan Salvatore: [ Finds Damon watching Tyler have an arm wrestle with a guy] Aha,you're lurking.

Damon Salvatore: [Scoffs] I'm observing.

Stefan Salvatore: More like obsessing.

Tyler Lockwood : [Mason has just beaten him at arm wresting ] Who wants to go next? Damon Salvatore: Wait, Stefan wants to go.Stefan Salvatore: [ Looks at Damon] Yeah sure, I'll... er... give it a shot.

Damon Salvatore: [ shouts] Get 'em Stef!

Damon Salvatore: [about the Lockwoods] What is up with that family? If they're notvampires, what the hell are they?

Stefan Salvatore: Oh... urmmm... maybe they're... urmmm... Ninja Turtles.

Damon Salvatore: [ He turns around and sees Caroline standing behind him] Oh, heyBlondie. They let you out?Caroline Forbes: I remember. Damon Salvatore: What do you remember?

Caroline Forbes: I remember how you manipulated me, you pushed me around, abused

me, erased my memories, fed on me. Damon Salvatore: You're crazy.Caroline Forbes: Well the memories have been coming back. In pieces. Damon Salvatore: You can't remember. It's impossible. I mean unless you're were

becoming a...[realises]

Caroline Forbes: I've got a message from Katherine. She said 'Game On'. Damon Salvatore: Wait...[ gets pushed by Caroline]

Caroline Forbes: You suck.

[Walks away]

Stefan Salvatore: [about Caroline becoming a vampire] How did this happen? Damon Salvatore: Well, I fed her blood, Katherine obviously killed her and A plus B

equals...

Damon Salvatore: Your silence is deafening Stefan.

Damon Salvatore: Wait. Wasn't there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Look

at how the town repeats itself.

Bonnie Bennett : I can't believe this is happening.

Damon Salvatore: [ Appears holding a shovel ] Come on, don't pout about it. Got a body

to bury.





















































Damon Salvatore: [to Jeremy] Look, I don't do the 'Big brother' thing very well, so I

haven't got any milk and cookies to offer.

Damon Salvatore: Here.

[ Hands Caroline a glass of blood ]Caroline Forbes: [She takes the glass from Damon] I'm still shaking.Stefan Salvatore: [ He runs into living room where Caroline and Damon are] What

happened? Damon Salvatore: [to Caroline] Go ahead. Tell.[to Stefan]

Damon Salvatore: You're gonna love this.

Damon Salvatore: [Caroline is babbling on and is side tracking from the point ] Skip theteen drama and get to it.

Damon Salvatore: I'm going to go to the Masquerade Ball and I'm gonna kill her.Tonight.

Stefan Salvatore: You're not gonna kill her. Damon Salvatore: Don't give me that goody goody crap.Stefan Salvatore: You're not gonna kill her.

Damon Salvatore: Oh really?Stefan Salvatore: Because I am.

[ Damon and Stefan exchange grins]

Damon Salvatore: [Sarcastically] Yeah. Cold feet's a big no and I want this thing going

wrong when someone chickens out. Caroline?

Katherine Pierce: The three of us together, just like old times. The brother who loved me

too much and the one that didn't love me enough. Damon Salvatore: And the evil slut vampire who only loved herself.

Katherine Pierce: What happened to you Damon? You used to be so sweet and polite. Damon Salvatore: Oh that Damon died a looong time ago.

Damon Salvatore: Sorry about your pet wolf. Maybe should have kept him on a tighter

leash.

Damon Salvatore: [ Damon is in his own word before realising Stefan and Katherine aretalking ] What are you mumbling about over there?

Katherine Pierce: [Sees Damon pouring scotch into a glass] I'll have one of those. Damon Salvatore: [ High voice] Right away Miss Katherine

Damon Salvatore: [to Stefan] Great gal, she's got spunk. You, on the other hand, look

pooped.

Vicki Donovan: I know you.



















































Damon Salvatore: Well, that's unfortunate.

Elena Gilbert : Stefan never mentioned he had a brother. Damon Salvatore: Well, Stefan isn't one to brag.

Damon Salvatore: Have you been eating bunnies?

Elena Gilbert : This is your living room? Damon Salvatore: Living room, parlour... Sotheby's auction.

Stefan Salvatore: How long was Elena here? Damon Salvatore: Were you worried, Stefan? Afraid we might be doomed to repeat the

past? Isn't that why you play your little game "I'm a high school human"?

Damon Salvatore: It's good to be home. I think I might stay awhile. This town could use

a bit of a wake up call, don't you think?

Stefan Salvatore: What are you up to, Damon? Damon Salvatore: That's for me to know and for you to dot dot dot.

Damon Salvatore: You have two choices. You can feed, and make her forget, or you can

let her run screaming vampire through the town square.Stefan Salvatore: That's what this is about? You wanna expose me? Damon Salvatore: No! I want you to remember who you are!Stefan Salvatore: Why? So what, so I'll feed, so I'll kill, so I'll remember what it's like to

be brothers again? You know what, let her go. Let her tell everyone that vampires have

returned to Mystic Falls, let them chain me up and drive a stake through my heart, 'causethen at least I'll be free of you.

Damon Salvatore: [ Jenna gives Damon her shot glass. Everyone leaves but Mason] Shedoesn't like me very much.

Mason Lockwood : We haven't met. Mason Lockwood.

[ He offers his hand to Damon] Damon Salvatore: [ Damon takes Mason's hand before letting go] Oh sure hey, Damon

Salvatore.Mason Lockwood : [Smiles ] I know. Heard great things about you. Damon Salvatore: [ Looks surprised ] Really? That's weird. 'Cuz I'm a dick.[Smirks]

Elena Gilbert : [ Damon just appears] What do you want?

Damon Salvatore: So this is where you spend your time when you're not stabbing peoplein the back. Elena Gilbert : I tricked you into telling the truth. That's not stabbing you in the back. It'susing your own tactics against you.

Damon Salvatore: Where are you going? Elena Gilbert : I've made myself clear Damon, I want nothing to do with you.

[ Leaves the table] Damon Salvatore: Ok. See you at Jenna's barbecue.























































Elena Gilbert : [Turns around surprised ] How do you know about Jenna's barbecue? Damon Salvatore: It was my idea. Jenna went to high school together with Mason

Lockwood, so I figured a social gathering would be a good way to get to know the guy.So I told Rick to tell Jenna and...

[interupted ]

Elena Gilbert : Does Jenna know you're going to be there? 'Cause she's not exactly a fanof yours.

Damon Salvatore: [to waitress with Damon's Peach Combo] Perfect. Thankyou.

[to Elena] Damon Salvatore: I'm hoping this Peach Combo will pave the way.

[Gets up from table] Elena Gilbert : What are you up to? Damon Salvatore: I'm gonna put some silver into Mason Lockwood and prove that he's awerewolf. See you at the barbecue.

[Smirks]

Jenna Sommers: Dress. Ballerina.Caroline Forbes: Puppy... Puppy... Puppy with a tutu. Damon Salvatore: No. Jenna Sommers: Puppy... Dog... Hound dog... something about a hound dog.

Mason Lockwood : Dances with wolves Damon Salvatore: Mason wins. Again. Jenna Sommers: How is that a wolf?

Damon Salvatore: Aunt Jenna is getting tipsy. Elena Gilbert : Will you stop plying her with alcohol?

Damon Salvatore: Thank you so much for inviting me. Jenna Sommers: Did I have a choice? Damon Salvatore: I know what you must think about me...

[interrupted ] Jenna Sommers: No you don't. you have never dated you. I have dated many yous. Damon Salvatore: Well... I'm a working progress.

Jenna Sommers: Mason was a catch. He had girls lining up. Damon Salvatore: [to Mason] Really? Huh, I pegged you for a lone wolf.Mason Lockwood : I'm sure I wasn't half the lady killer you were.

Mason Lockwood : Jenna just brought out guitar hero. Might be time to mutiny. Damon Salvatore: Well I just happen to like guitar hero. So you my friend, you are

barking up the wrong tree.Mason Lockwood : Ok. Enough with the innuendoes. You win. You're hilarious. Damon Salvatore: Thank you.

Mason Lockwood : There was confusion. I could chain myself up in time. I have no

control once I shift.





























































Damon Salvatore: Aww. No obedience school?

Tyler Lockwood : Screw you, dude. Damon Salvatore: Dude? Really? Dude?

Elena Gilbert : [about Jeremy] Can you make him forget?Stefan Salvatore: Elena...

Elena Gilbert : Stefan, please. I don't know how he'll ever get past this. I just want him to

forget everything that happened.Stefan Salvatore: If I did it, there's no guarantee that it would work... because of who I

am, because of how I live. I don't have the ability to do it right. Damon Salvatore: I can do it. If this is what you want. I'll do it.

Vicki Donovan: Why did you do it?

Damon Salvatore: I was... bored.Vicki Donovan: You did this to me out of boredom? Damon Salvatore: It's one of the pitfalls of eternity.

Elena Gilbert : Is Stefan here? Damon Salvatore: Yep.

Elena Gilbert : Where is he? Damon Salvatore: And good morning to you, little Miss I'm-On-A-Mission. Elena Gilbert : How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything that you've done? Damon Salvatore: And how you can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire

arrogant and glib?

Damon Salvatore: Your life is pathetic. Your after-life doesn't have to be.

Damon Salvatore: [to Elena when she discovers the body of Vicki] You confuse me for someone with remorse.

Damon Salvatore: Snatch, eat, erase.

Damon Salvatore: If I see something I haven't seen before I'll throw a dollar at it.

Damon Salvatore: [about Stefan] There was a time that I trusted him more than anyone. Elena Gilbert : Trust breeds trust. You have to give it to get it.

Damon Salvatore: Are you lecturing me? Elena Gilbert : Do you need to be lectured?

Damon Salvatore: [referring to Katherine] I just want her back. I'm sure you canunderstand that. Elena Gilbert : I can understand that you would do anything for her, yes. Damon Salvatore: Then you understand what I will do if anyone gets in my way.

[ Damon threatens to hurt Elena unless Stefan gives him their father's journal ]Stefan Salvatore: You won't kill her. Damon Salvatore: [ forces Elena to drink his blood ] I can do one better. Give me the

































































book, Stefan, or I'm snapping her neck, and you and I will have a vampire girlfriend.

Elena Gilbert : [referring to the plan to open the tomb] Since when am I helping? Damon Salvatore: Well, Stefan's helping, and you've taken up residence in Stefan's bed.

Ergo...

[ Jeremy's cell phone rings; he doesn't answer ]

Damon Salvatore: Who are you dodging? Jeremy Gilbert : This girl, Anna. She can be, uh... persistent. Damon Salvatore: Is she hot?

Jeremy Gilbert : Yeah... yeah, but she can be weird. Damon Salvatore: Hot trumps weird... trust me.

Damon Salvatore: [to Stefan and Elena, when they have agreed to help Damon with his

plan] You know, I really like this whole menage-a-threesome team thing. It's got a bit of

a kink to it. Don't screw it up!

[after Katherine drains her victims' blood in front of Damon] Damon Salvatore: What happens to the bodies? Katherine Pierce: I'll take them into the woods and the other animals will finish them off.

Stefan Salvatore: [ Damon on Elena's phone that Stefan has called ] Yeah, I don't think

she wants to talk to you right now Damon Salvatore: Damon, I swear if you touch her...Stefan Salvatore: You have a good day now, bye bye.

[hangs up on Stefan]

Elena Gilbert : Am I going to be safe with you?

Damon Salvatore: Yes. Elena Gilbert : Will you promise not to do that mind control thing with me?

Damon Salvatore: Yes. Elena Gilbert : Can I trust you? Damon Salvatore: Get in the car. C'mon.

Elena Gilbert : Let's just say that I'm descended from Katherine, does that make me part

vampire? Damon Salvatore: Vampires can't procreate... but we love to try. No. If, if you were

related, that would mean that Katherine had a child before she was turned. Elena Gilbert : Did Stefan think that he could use me to replace her?

Damon Salvatore: It's kinda creepy if you ask me.

Damon Salvatore: You okay? Elena Gilbert : Don't pretend to care. I know you're gloating inside.

Damon Salvatore: It's not like we all hang out together at the vamp bar and grill.

Elena Gilbert : This is kidnapping.

























































Damon Salvatore: That's a little melodramatic, don't you think? Elena Gilbert : You're not funny.

Damon Salvatore: What an unexpected surprise. Lexi: Unexpected surprise? I think the wrong brother went back to high school.

Damon Salvatore: I have a diabolical master plan. Lexi: What is it? Damon Salvatore: Well if I told you, it wouldn't be very diabolical, now would it?

Damon Salvatore: Stefan smiles. Alert the media!

Damon Salvatore: Why are you so mean to me?

Lexi: Uh, have you met you? You're not a nice person. Damon Salvatore: Because I'm a vampire. Lexi: But you're only the bad parts.

Damon Salvatore: [teasing ] Teach me to be good.

Damon Salvatore: How were tryouts? You make the team? Very Emerson, the way you

reveal your soul with so many... adjectives.Stefan Salvatore: What are you doing here? Damon Salvatore: I've come to apologize. I've been doing some thinking, some soul

searching and I want us to start over. We need to put the past behind us. You're my little

brother, and if you wanna live a normal happy human life, then I want that for you.Maybe I can do it too, that I can learn to be a non-living, living person. Maybe there's

hope for both of us.

[ He laughs after a pause]Stefan Salvatore: You know it doesn't have to be this way Damon

Damon Salvatore: Course it doesn't. I saw Elena today, BTW - that means by the way.

She was at cheerleading practice, she looked so perky in her little short shorts. Simmer down, I didn't go near her. I've got my own cheerleader now. Oh, that reminds me I've

gotta run, got a date. Sweaty palms, wish me luck.

Damon Salvatore: I like you, you know how to laugh and you make Stefan smile whichis something I haven't seen in a very long time.

Elena Gilbert : Earlier... did you mean Katherine? How did she die? Damon Salvatore: Fire, tragic fire.

Elena Gilbert : Recently? Damon Salvatore: Seems like it was yesterday. Elena Gilbert : What was she like? Damon Salvatore: She was beautiful, a lot like you in that department. She was also very

complicated and selfish and at times not very kind but very sexy and seductive. Elena Gilbert : So, which one of you dated her first? Damon Salvatore: Nicely deduced. Ask Stefan, I'm sure his answer differs from mine.

























































Matt Donovan: You going to be able to play?Stefan Salvatore: Oh, yeah, I'm good.Matt Donovan: What you did back there, you had Jeremy's back.Stefan Salvatore: He's a messed up kid, somebody's gotta look out for him.

Matt Donovan: I know. This week at practice I was a dick.

Stefan Salvatore: You had your reasons.Matt Donovan: No excuse. Good luck, we're lucky to have you.

[Matt and Stefan shake hands and Matt walks away] Damon Salvatore: Isn't that nice. Stefan joins a team and makes a friend. It's all so Rah-Rah, go team!

Stefan Salvatore: Not tonight, I'm done with you.

Damon Salvatore: Nice trick with Elena. Let me guess, vervain in the necklace. I admit Iwas a bit surprised, it's been a while for anyone to resist my compulsion. Where'd you get

it?Stefan Salvatore: Does it matter?

Damon Salvatore: Guess I could seduce her the old fashion way or I could just... eat her.Stefan Salvatore: No, you're not going to hurt her, Damon. Damon Salvatore: No?Stefan Salvatore: Because deep down inside there is a part of you that feels for her. I was

worried that you had no humanity left inside you, that you had actually become that

monster you pretend to be. Damon Salvatore: Who's pretending?Stefan Salvatore: Then kill me. Damon Salvatore: Well, I'm tempted.Stefan Salvatore: No, your not. You've had life times to do it and yet here I am, I'm stillalive and there you are. You're still haunting me after 145 years. Katherine is dead and

you hate me because you loved her, and you torture me because you still so. And that, my

brother, is your humanity.

Damon Salvatore: It's all so 'Rah, rah! Go team! Yeah!











































Damon Salvatore: You have to be invited in. Logan Fell : I live alone. Damon Salvatore: That sucks.

Damon Salvatore: I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead.

Damon Salvatore: I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I'm vengeful.

Damon Salvatore: We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!

Stefan Salvatore: You don't have any friends, Damon. Damon Salvatore: You're right, Stefan. I only have you.

Damon Salvatore: [ Appears behind Stefan] What are you doing?Stefan Salvatore: Negotiating peace on your behalf.

Damon Salvatore: But I don't want peace!Stefan Salvatore: Well, consider it opposite then. Damon Salvatore: Stefan. Please tell me you don't seriously think a handshake just

solved our problem?Stefan Salvatore: No actually, I think that the first chance Mason Lockwood gets he's

going to drive a stake through your heart... and then through mine, all because you took itupon yourself to try and kill him. So thank you, because we don't have enough problems!

Damon Salvatore: [Watching Elena and Stefan 'argue' ] Relationships are aboutcommunication.

Damon Salvatore: Hello Mason. Working hard?Mason Lockwood : Doing my part.

Damon Salvatore: I heard you talked to Stefan.Mason Lockwood : Nice guy. Damon Salvatore: Yeah. a *lot* nicer than me.

Mason Lockwood : Well, nice is overrated. Damon Salvatore: That's what I think.

Elena Gilbert : [ Damon is about to speak as he walks into the room] Caroline's sleeping

on the couch. Damon Salvatore: I heard. And you?

Elena Gilbert : I'm going home.[Walks past Damon and to the front door ] Elena Gilbert : What you did for Caroline's mom... that's the Damon who was my friend.[Opens the door and is about to leave]

Damon Salvatore: Hey. Stefan didn't drink the people blood. If you're curious... but he

needs to... and deep down you know that.

[ Elena and Damon look at each other before he walks away]

























































Stefan Salvatore: Crow's a bit much, don't you think?

Damon Salvatore: Wait till you see what I can do with the fog.

Damon Salvatore: When was the last time you had something bigger than a squirrel?

Damon Salvatore: I was impressed. I'll give it a six. Missing style, but I was pleasantly

surprised. Very good with the whole face thing, it was good.Stefan Salvatore: It's all fun and games, huh Damon? But wherever you go, people die.

Damon Salvatore: That's a given.Stefan Salvatore: Not here, I won't allow it. Damon Salvatore: I take that as an invitation.

Stefan Salvatore: Damon, please, after all these years, can't we just give it a rest. Damon Salvatore: I promised you an eternity of misery, so I'm just keeping my word.

Damon Salvatore: Your hairs different, I like it

Damon Salvatore: It's been 15 years, Damon Damon Salvatore: Thank god! Couldn't take another day of the 90's. That horrible grungelook did not suit you. Remember Stefan, it's important to stay away from fadsStefan Salvatore: What are you doing here? Damon Salvatore: I missed my little brother Stefan Salvatore: You hate small towns, they're boring there's nothing for you to do

Damon Salvatore: I've been keeping myself busyStefan Salvatore: You left that girl alive tonight. That was very careless of you Damon Salvatore: Yeah, that could be a problem... for you

Damon Salvatore: [to Rose] I was shaking. You've made your point.

Damon Salvatore: [Whispers to Rose about Elena] She's in denial.Stefan Salvatore: Shut up Damon.

Damon Salvatore: Alright Rosebud, I need some answers!

Damon Salvatore: Please don't tell me you're crying cause your buddy trevor lost his

head?

Damon Salvatore: I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't rufie me.

Stefan Salvatore: During the Dark Ages, when a vampire's actions threatened to exposeor bring harm upon the entire race, he would face judgement. They sought to reeducate

them rather than to punish them. Damon Salvatore: You know what will happen if I don't feed on blood.Stefan Salvatore: You'll grow weaker and weaker, and eventually you won't be able to

move or speak. In a week, your skin will desiccate, and you'll mummify. A living corpse,



























































unable to hurt anyone... ever. Damon Salvatore: So what, you just going to just leave me in the basement... forever?Stefan Salvatore: I've injected you with enough vervain to keep you weak. Once your circulation stops, I'll move you to the family crypt, and in a 150 years we can reevaluate.

Damon Salvatore: [Stefan has locked Damon up] You won. Now nothing can come between you and Elena. Except the truth. The lies catch up to you, the longer you keep

lying to yourself about who you are.Stefan Salvatore: The beauty of you in there and me out here... is that I can walk away.

Zach Salvatore: You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that

this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here... allowing me to live. Damon Salvatore: Someone had to mow the lawn.

Stefan Salvatore: I gotta get my strength back up.

Damon Salvatore: I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge. No?Stefan Salvatore: We'll talk when I get back? Damon Salvatore: All right. Give my regards to the squirrels.

Damon Salvatore: [about Pearl ] She's gonna help me get Katherine back. Elena Gilbert : Of course she is. Damon gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he

hurts in the process. Damon Salvatore: You don't have to be snarky about it. Elena Gilbert : I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires have been released

from the tomb. I've earned snarky. Damon Salvatore: How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother

into a vampire? Elena Gilbert : I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self-

serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities. Damon Salvatore: [ sarcastic] Ouch.

Damon Salvatore: Teacher by day, vampire hunter by night. Alaric Saltzman: I have you to thank for that.









































Stefan Salvatore: You know, I liked you better when you hated everybody. Damon Salvatore: Oh I still do, I just love that they love me.

Damon Salvatore: You wanna hear the bad news, or the really bad news?

Stefan Salvatore: Actually, I don't want any news Damon.

Damon Salvatore: Okay, let me rephrase. Do you want to hear how the council is back invampire mode, or how I just killed Uncle John Gilbert?

Stefan Salvatore: What? Damon Salvatore: Great party by the way, huh?

Damon Salvatore: Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?

Damon Salvatore: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so wipped.

Caroline Forbes: You have to read the first book first, otherwise it won't make sense. Damon Salvatore: Uh, I miss Ann Rice, she was so on it.Caroline Forbes: Hey, how come you don't sparkle?

Damon Salvatore: Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.Caroline Forbes: Yeah, but you go in the sun. Damon Salvatore: I have a ring, it protects me. It's complicated.

Damon Salvatore: [after Stefan stabbed him through the t-shirt ] This is John Varvatos,

dude. Dick move.

Stefan Salvatore: He posed as a pizza delivery boy last night. Damon Salvatore: Well, he gets points for that.

Damon Salvatore: I think we need a fresh start.

Bonnie Bennett : You tried to kill me. Damon Salvatore: But I didn't. And if I wanted to I would have. Does that not count for

anything? Bonnie Bennett : You know I can start fires with my mind. Fires kill vampires, right? Juststay the hell away from me!

Stefan Salvatore: I'm talking about Atlanta. Damon Salvatore: Oh yeah. Elena and I had a blast!Stefan Salvatore: I get it, you're just bitter because one of us gets to be with the person we

love and poor Katherine is just out of reach. Unless there's another way to get to the

tomb. Is that what Bree said?

Damon Salvatore: You're pathetic when your fishing.Stefan Salvatore: And you're transparent when you're deflecting.

























































Katherine Pierce: One hundred and forty-five years and no last goodbye? Damon Salvatore: You don't get a goodbye. Katherine Pierce: Don't-don't leave mad. Damon Salvatore: Us ending up on good terms is not exactly on my bucket list,

Katherine.

Katherine Pierce: Klaus made me call Jenna to lure her out, there was nothing I could do,I didn't have a choice.

Damon Salvatore: That's why I gave you the vervain, so you *had* a choice. Katherine Pierce: It was her or me, I chose her. Damon Salvatore: I helped you, you owed me. Now when Klaus dies, you're going to

walk out of here without a scratch, and Elena's aunt dies. Sometimes you're the only one

that wins, how'd that happen? Katherine Pierce: I didn't let love get in the way. Damon Salvatore: Enjoy eternity alone, Katherine.

Damon Salvatore: Her soul? Really? You're going to put some faith in some act of God

mumbo jumbo? John Gilbert : I refuse to let Elena become the thing I spent my life protecting her against,

and you can call that God, or mystical energy, or whatever you want, but yes, I'm puttingmy faith in it.

John Gilbert : You ruined her life. You know that, right? Damon Salvatore: I know that, John. I took her choices, destroyed her future, I get that.

Damon Salvatore: You need to listen to me and prepare for what I'm about to say. Bonniehad to die. Klaus using Alaric's body was a total surprise. She wasn't prepared for that.

And he wasn't going to stop and we weren't going to be able to stop him until he knew

she was dead. He had to believe it. She cast a spell, Bonnie's okay.

Elena Gilbert : Let's get one thing straight Damon. Bonnie will not die for me, I will not

let that happen. Damon Salvatore: We need to kill Klaus, Elena. Real Klaus. Who will probably come

pay you a visit soon, now that he knows that Bonnie's dead. She's the only one who can

do it.

Damon Salvatore: Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the

witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.







































Damon Salvatore: [ sitting down at the bar, next to Alaric] Behold the teacher. Don't you

have some papers to grade? Alaric Saltzman: It's, uh, more fun with a buzz. Damon Salvatore: Well, most things in life are. Sober's... depressing.

Stefan Salvatore: There was a woman you may have known a few years back namedIsobel. In North Carolina, at Duke.

Damon Salvatore: You want to discuss the women of my past right now, seriously?Stefan Salvatore: You killed her. Damon Salvatore: What's your point?

Stefan Salvatore: I just want to know if you remember anything about her. Damon Salvatore: It's like a needle in a haystack, Stefan.Stefan Salvatore: Well think hard, it's important. Damon Salvatore: [whispers in Stefan's ear ] Nothing is important... not anymore.

Vicki Donovan: Why don't you have a girlfriend? You're like totally cool and so hot.

Damon Salvatore: I know.Vicki Donovan: Don't you wanna be in love? Damon Salvatore: I've been in love. It's painful and pointless and overrated.

Vicki Donovan: Except when it isn't.

Damon Salvatore: I'm getting really bored and really impatient; and I don't do bored andimpatient.

Damon Salvatore: [to Elena] I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having

fun. I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it.

Stefan Salvatore: [trying to find where Anna took Elena] Please, just tell me what you

know. It's Elena, Damon. If you know something, tell me!

Damon Salvatore: I mean this sincerely: I hope Elena dies.

Damon Salvatore: I can't lose you.













































Damon Salvatore: I do believe in killing the messenger, you know why? Because it sends

a message.

Damon Salvatore: You spent the last century and a half being the poster child for Prozac.

Now you want me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood?

Damon Salvatore: I got the town off our back, it was for the greater good, but I'm sorry.And to prove it, I'm not going to feed on a human for at least a... week. I'll adopt the

Stefan diet, only nothing but feathers.Stefan Salvatore: Because I realize killing your closest and oldest friend is beyond evil

and yet, somehow it's worthy of humor. Damon Salvatore: Are you mimicking me?

Damon Salvatore: And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead

brooding. This is fun, I like this.Stefan Salvatore: Yes, Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire-haters if off our

back, I can go back to my routine of "how can I destroy Stefan's life this week?"Stefan Salvatore: And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead brooding.This is fun, I like this.

Stefan Salvatore: And I will finally reveal the ulterior motive behind my evil and

diabolical return to Mystic Falls. Damon Salvatore: Yeah... I'm done.

Damon Salvatore: I'm lost. I have a secret, a big one. But I've never said it out loud.What's the point? It's not gonna change anything. It's not gonna make me good, make me

adopt a puppy. I can't be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This

is who I am. You are my existential crisis. Do I kill you or do I not kill you? But I have toJessica, because I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world.

That is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take.

Damon Salvatore: I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.

























Damon Quotes

Documents

Transcript of Damon Quotes