CURRIE IN A PICKLE AS PRIMARIES GO GOAL-FREEZI!Onion Bag blitz leaves opponents in a Korma

PSFC hit back after last weeks dismal result with a sizzling performance and the unlikeliest comeback since Paddy Durkin’s cowboy boots. However, it could have all been so different after Ross “Tinkerman” Morrison’s baffling tactics nearly had them in soapy bubble.

The otherwise reserved defender whaled on his team-mates pre match with a 4-2-3-1 formation that would’ve had Stephen Hawking chucking in the sponge.

Yet, with the players still trying to figure out who was playing the “MashedPotato” role in midfield, Primaries started well and edged ahead after a well rehearsed training ground move (WHIT? – Ed). A long throw-in of the Delap variety was bombed into a packed penalty area by Dimeck. Sullivan cleverly took Currie’s towering centre back away from the box leaving a perfect gap for Jamieson to plant a brave header into the corner of the net. 1-0 Primaries!

Primaries were coming to the boil nicely but the football gods, once again, were ready to crack open a family size tin of “whoop ass”. Currie finally got into the mix and found a recipe to score goals when a lucky sclaff rebounded off a trailing leg and into the net to level things up. Almost unbelievably, Primaries found themselves behind when another wicked deflection allowed the attacker to prod home. 2-1 Currie Half Time.

The interval saw the Primaries players throw out Morrison’s fantasy formation like a sooked oot orange peel when it became apparent that Tugay was a no-show. After reverting to their traditional 4-4-2, PSFC were forced into a pitchside huddle by an emotional French and after a roar of profanity they started the second period with renewed vigour.

That new feeling of self belief was blown to buggery after 3 minutes by a moment of madness by Morrison. There seemed to be no danger (yeah, you know what’s coming) as the Currie forward chased a long ball until the Primaries stand in keeper sprinted from his line, lunged two footed to cement the attacker and concede a spot kick. It was duly netted. 3-1 Currie

It was now a case of “Bring Your Own Bottle” for Primaries. The first to “sup up” pull on his clogs and head down the Pit was Greg Dimeck with his first in a Man of the Match winning contribution. A long ball was fed to Sullivan (its ok, he didn’t eat it) who passed wide to Jamieson. A five yard pass inside found Dimeck who lashed an unstoppable piledriver from 20 yards into the pokey. 3-2 Currie

Suddenly all the football was being played in Currie’s half and next to step up to the hotplate and fill his dish was Gary Sullivan. A lovely ball was played by Baillie into the channel for the Primaries pin-up boy and he unleashed a venomous right foot effort against the inside of post and bar. Jamieson was on hand to pick up the scraps and filled the “ingin bag” fuller than bulls bum and level the game. 3-3!

The roles were reversed soon after when Jamieson saw a spiced up effort rebound off the bar only to fall to a now fully pumped Sullivan who nodded home from close range. 4-3 Primaries!

Currie/Balerno were now visibly upset at the turnaround, not to mention biased whistler Ian Forrest, and they decided to go for broke with an attacking formation that would later see its way into Morrison’s “play book”. This time, however, there was to be no crapitulation from Primaries as they sowed up the points with a team goal of mesmeric beauty (calm yersel!! - Ed)

It was sterling defensive work from Primaries that led to a counter attack involving no less than 5 team members when a corner kick in the Primaries Box was hoofed clear by Adams, gathered with composure by Sullivan and fed wide to Begg. Begg was clearly enjoying himself as an outrageous heel flicked pass left Jamieson in on goal only for the Currie keeper to parry to Dimeck who got his just desserts and shovelled in his second helping. 5-3 Primaries!

A shell shocked Currie nearly boiled over in the closing stages after some tasty tackles in midfield. But it was left to Primaries to light the after dinner cigars when a goal mouth scramble was mopped up and fired into the net by Sullivan from close range. Full time 6-3 Primaries!!

Primaries Man of the Match:- Greg Dimeck rolled back the years with a vintage performance that provided the full Bhuna for a perfect Primaries.