Copyright © Influence Mastery Inc. 1 · learned a lot of tactics. But again I was finding myself,...

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Copyright © Influence Mastery Inc. 1

Transcript of Copyright © Influence Mastery Inc. 1 · learned a lot of tactics. But again I was finding myself,...

Page 1: Copyright © Influence Mastery Inc. 1 · learned a lot of tactics. But again I was finding myself, like so many people in real-life situations, unable to execute what I learned as

Copyright © Influence Mastery Inc. 1

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Hey, everyone. Paul Mascetta here, and welcome. I'm really excited to have you join me for the second call of the Stealth Magnetism series. Today we're going to talk about your mind-set.

I'm an avid follower of Frank Kern, one of the biggest Internet marketers in the game. I study a lot of his work which is based off of the work of famous copywriter, John Carlton (I'm also a big fan of his). One thing Kern does (which I also do myself) is survey his customers. He asks them what they are having a problem with. He asks them what their biggest challenges are. He asks them how he can help them. Do they prefer watching him work on a white board? Do they prefer screencast presentations? Do they prefer podcasts?

And it's funny. When he asks people about their biggest challenges, or what they want to learn, he finds he gets the smallest response when asking people if they're interested in learning how to develop a healthy mind-set. Kern finds that the most surprising, because he feels that's where people need the most help. I feel the exact same way. Years of communicating with my clients have made me realize that one of the biggest challenges people have (when it comes to influence, persuasion, conversational hypnosis, and NLP) is translating what they learn into real-life situations.

I used to have the hardest time with that. I would purchase every resource under the sun and study it. I found my biggest challenge to be remembering what to do once a real-life situation occurred. I would either forget what I needed to do, or

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it wouldn't feel authentic, or it would just feel unnatural—and I'm sure many people on this call feel the same way.

So, let me ask you this. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you didn't capitalize on an opportunity? This could have been anything. Maybe you were trying to get a promotion at a job. It could have asking someone out on a first date. But for whatever reason, you just could not capitalize on that opportunity. If this has ever happened to you, then the concept of stealth magnetism is going to help you a lot.

Where did the idea of stealth magnetism come from? Aside from working in an Italian restaurant when I was a kid, the only other jobs I've been somewhat good at were sales positions. Anytime I was placed in a regular nine to five environment, it drove me nuts. I just couldn't deal with it. In sales, I felt very much like I was in my own element.

I studied all the great sales books from Tom Hopkins and Brian Tracy. I tried to educate myself as much as I could about sales. I learned a lot of techniques and I learned a lot of strategies. I learned a lot of tactics. But again I was finding myself, like so many people in real-life situations, unable to execute what I learned as well as I wanted. And then I realized I had a different role. Let me explain what I mean.

In my childhood, I realized I had two identities. One identity was my life at school. I was a superstar. I had magical powers. I was popular. I was funny. I was in control. I was a leader. I was the one that everyone wanted to be around. But hanging out in

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my neighborhood was different. The best way I can describe it is I was five or six rows behind the person I was in school. I wasn't the most popular person. I was sometimes the butt of other people's jokes. I was just not in the same element. Same person, different element.

I came to realize that environment dictates a lot of the roles one plays in life. You act differently at a wedding than you do at a funeral. You act differently at a job than you do at a sporting event. Environment, in many cases, dictates behavior, and that ultimately circles back to your roles in life.

I'm guessing you're on this call because you want to be in a role of control and power. I don't mean putting people into a vice grip and forcing them to do anything they don't want to do. I mean you want to be in control during social interactions—where you feel like you're completely in your element. I hope you're with me so far.

Every time I tried to cast a spell to force people into complying with me, it felt very unnatural and inauthentic. It just didn't seem to work. Yet in other environments, things flowed much easier. When I was in my element, I didn't have to cast any sort of spell. It was almost like I had this magnetic field around me, one where people were just automatically drawn to me and wanted to hear what I had to say. They trusted me. Obviously, that is the element I prefer to be in most of the time.

Once I caught onto all this, I wanted to identify some key factors that drove it so I could actually cause things to come to be. I

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wanted to systematize it. I wanted to try to identify the moving parts, and then see if I could assemble them in a map that was easy and could be used over and over again. That's where the concept of stealth magnetism came from.

One of the most important pieces to using stealth magnetism is your mind-set, and much of your mind-set boils down to one word—confidence. Today I want to talk to you about how you can develop an ironclad confidence, which is a very important piece of the puzzle and one often left out of the equation when learning influence and persuasion. Please pay very close attention to everything that I'm going to go over with you today, because this an important part of what makes everything work the way it's supposed to.

What I'd like you to do is open up Mind Map Number One. What I'm going to talk about, in reference to mind-set and confidence, comes from years of study. Some of it is from science, some from psychology, and some from metaphysics. It’s a blend of many belief systems formulated into what I believe is a solid plan to develop the right kind of mind-set and the right kind of confidence.

In the center of the mind map you'll see a yellow area that says the UARMS Model. This is something I feel is missing from every other resource on the market centered around influence a n d p e r s u a s i o n . T h e U A R M S m o d e l s t a n d s f o r understandability, acceptability, relate-ability, manageability and sustainability. And if you own any of my products (like my books or audio programs) you'll hear me talk about this

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acronym. I'm going to spare everyone a twenty-minute explanation of it, but I do want to talk a little bit about its meaning.

The UARMS ModelThe first of these five elements is understandability. There has to be a level of understandability on your part of anything you study—and for the sake of this conversation, anything related to what I teach you or share with you. You have to understand it. I could give you directions for something as simple as finding a million dollars under your bed, but if I write it in a language that you can't understand, it's not going to help you. It's my job to make sure that what I teach you is as understandable as possible.

A stands for acceptability. You have to keep an open mind. You have to be willing to accept everything you're about to learn.

R stands for relate-ability. The information I share with you has to be relatable to your life in some way. The only other reason I can think of as to why you would want to listen to all of this is for entertainment purposes—and I'm pretty sure you're not spending your money with me in order to be entertained. There are a lot of people more qualified than Paul Mascetta to do that. You're investing your time, money, and energy into this because you feel it's going to help you—but there's got to be a level of relatability. You have to believe that you will be able to apply this to you own life. It's my job to show you how to do that.

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M stands for manageability. You have to be able to manage the information I teach consistently and be able to apply it once you figure out how it relates to your life.

Finally there's sustainability, You have to be able to use what you learn over and over. It's got to be repeatable and sustainable; otherwise, you'll be running around in circles trying to figure out what to do next.

Now that I've explained the UARMS model and how it ties into your mind-set, I want to touch on something briefly that we'll circle back to in a later call. Whenever we talk about mind-set, we need to discuss something related to your thought process known as your avatar.

Your avatar is your subject. Your avatar is your client. Your avatar is your target. It's however you define the person you ultimately wish to persuade. You need to create a picture of that person in your mind. It may not be an exact duplicate of what this person looks like, but you want to create an image in your mind of your target—of the avatar you want to target.

The first thing I want you to think about when creating an avatar is being empathetic towards that person. Think about what they look like. Think about how they dress. I know it might sound a little crazy, but trust me—this works. Think about what their typical day is like. Think about what their deepest desires might be, and their biggest pain points. Think about their biggest obstacles and challenges. Now start thinking about how you might be able to help them.

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For now, let's put this on the back burner. I want it to be something that you're thinking about in the background for when we circle back to it later. It's very important, and we'll be spending a lot more time on it.

Developing ExpertiseLet's move onto your mind-set. The reason why I'm focusing on mind-set on today's call is because I want you to be able to execute everything I show you with complete mastery and elegance—and a big part of that, if you look on the mind map, is the word expertise.

When you're an expert at something, you feel extremely confident about the outcome. For example, you might have a task that you do every day on your job. Whether you like doing it or not doesn't matter. It's a task that you perform every single day. You've done it for so long that if I were to ask you to get onstage and perform it in front of a hundred people, you could probably do so without even being nervous.

What if I were to ask you to execute a different task—one that you're not so good at doing but that is something you aspire to be good at? Let's say your dream is to become a professional guitar player. That's your passion. That's what you've always dreamt about. That's what you've always wanted to do. That's where your heart is. Unfortunately, you're a lousy guitar player.

Now, if I were to put you onstage and ask you to play a guitar in front of a hundred people, you'd probably be a lot more nervous

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doing that than you would be performing the task you do every day at your job—the task that's mundane, that you hate, that has absolutely nothing to do with where you want to go in life. The only difference between the two is the level of expertise that you have, and that plays directly into your state of mind when you begin to work with stealth magnetism.

So, as I mentioned on the first call, our lives can be summarized by analyzing our emotional states of mind. Every moment of our lives, we're shifting from one emotional state to another. It's always happening. Sometimes we're in a happy state. Sometimes we're in a focused state. Sometimes we're in a sad state. Sometimes we just transition from one state to another. And stealth magnetism is about creating a positive emotional state in your mind so that other people are magnetically drawn to you.

In order for you to be able get there, you first need to gain control over your state of mind. Your mind has to be in a state of calmness and confidence, and this becomes easier once you have developed a particular expertise. My definition of expertise is purposeful engagement is greater than fixed ability. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Some people believe that expertise is something you're born with, like a natural talent or ability. Granted, in some cases, this can happen. But my experience and my research has taught me that purposeful engagement is a better indicator of expertise; because when you're purposely engaged in doing something, you're constantly learning. You're constantly using your mind.

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Therefore, you develop a higher level of expertise just through your experience.

I want to take a moment to talk about IQ. I know many of you may struggle with the concept of IQ when you're doing tasks you don't enjoy. You think you're not smart enough, or good enough, or that some task is beyond your level of intelligence. And many of you think your IQ is set in stone—that it is something that will ultimately dictate what you will excel at or what will hold you back in life.

Alfred Binet invented the IQ test in order to help identify children who were not profiting from the public school system in Paris. He created the test so that new educational programs could be designed to get these kids back on track. You may believe that the IQ test was designed to summarize someone's intelligence and that is can't be changed. In reality, the purpose of the test is to change your intelligence.

Take a look at the mind map, and you'll see that the Truth About IQ branches off into two different categories—the Fixed Mind-set and the Growth Mind-set. Let me explain the difference between the two of them.

Fixed Mind-set Versus Growth Mind-setThe fixed mind-set is a limited mind-set. It requires a constant state of proof. It includes immense levels of self-doubt. When you are dealing with the fixed mind-set, your hand is constantly bluffed (and I'll explain more about that in a minute). Alternatively, with the growth mind-set, all positive traits are

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cultivated or created from effort. The formula for this is Application + Experience = Changes and Growth. And in this mind-set, the hand is played instead of bluffed.

Let's go back to the real purpose of the IQ test. So many of you make false assumptions about yourselves and what you're capable of doing based on your past experiences. Again, the real purpose of the IQ test was to determine how to improve someone's intelligence. And I'm here today telling you that you can improve your intelligence and your skill set in anything you wish. I'm here to tell you that you can keep a fixed mind-set or a growth mind-set.

A fixed mind-set means you believe your capabilities are limited. No matter what, there are aspects of your life with which you'll never excel. No matter what, there will always be a barrier. Something is going to stop you from succeeding in a particular area of your life. When you're in this state of mind, you're constantly trying to prove yourself. You're constantly thinking about those areas of your life where you do feel comfortable.

This circles back to something I mentioned on the first call, the theory of illusory superiority, which in layman's terms means that the average person believes that they are smarter than the average person—that there are certain elements you feel you're better at than the average person. And when you're in that fixed-mind state, you constantly need to accentuate them. You constantly need to prove yourself. You feel it's important to show people exactly how good you are at some things to

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compensate for the fact that you're terrible at other things. This is all tied into your having immense self-doubt.

Of course, we all have strengths and weaknesses, but that's a different conversation. What I'm trying to get you to think about is whether you're in that constant state of proving yourself. When you're in this state, you're bluffing. You're taking the cards that you were dealt, and instead of playing the hand with a growth mind-set (which I'll talk about in a second), you're looking to see what other people think about you and think about the hand that you hold. You're trying to use illusion to change the way your hand is perceived.

With the growth mind-set, you have the awareness that all positive traits can be developed or created through effort. The growth mind-set means Application + Experience = Change and Growth. You're aware that you can easily change and grow as a human being. Here you take the hand that you are dealt, and strategically play that hand to the best of your ability instead of trying to make it seem as if it's something else. That's the difference between the fixed mind-set and the growth mind-set.

I'd like to tell you an interesting story about a friend of mine. He's a really nice guy who works for one of the biggest self-improvement websites in the world. And he doesn't really like his job. He doesn't hate his job, but he doesn't really like it; and he has been talking for the past four or five years about quitting, starting his own business, and essentially doing what I do (running an online business that shares my experience with others). The truth is he's done nothing but procrastinate, and the

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reason for this, I believe, is because he has a fixed mind-set. He has that employee mind-set.

Now, there's nothing wrong with having an employee mind-set. There's no right or wrong. What's important to our discussion is which mind-set will help you grow more. So I'm not casting judgment on anyone that has the employee mind-set.

My mother has the employee mind-set. She has had the same job for twenty-seven years. She gave up a really good, high-paying job when I was young in order to raise me. She took a job in the public school system so that she could be home at the same time I was. My mom made a big sacrifice for me, and I love her and admire her for doing that.

However, my mother was in her comfort zone when she made that decision, because she has an employee mind-set. My mom likes things like steady paychecks, no matter how small they may be. My mom likes having insurance, and benefits, and vacation days. All of those things represent control to my mom when she's in that type of environment—control over her life. I am the complete opposite. I feel like I have no control when I'm in that type of environment. But my friend is just like my mom. No matter how much my friend says that he wants to become independent and be his own boss, he has the employee mind-set. That's his reality.

Most of the things that you do in life are because you feel like there is a certain level of safety, control and predictability. For my friend, it's that steady paycheck. It's having a place to go

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every day. It's knowing that there's a certain level of predictability in his life. For me, it's the complete opposite. I feel like I'm being restrained and have no control when I'm in that type of environment. Here's what I told my friend about moving from the fixed mind-set to the growth mind-set.

"Let's say you quit your job today. Instead of thinking, Well, I'm not going to have a guaranteed paycheck on Friday, and letting that scare the life out of you; think about all the possibilities. Think about doing your homework and doing some strategic planning. If you have things lined up the right way, then you'll be able to do certain things on Monday that will create the desired level of income that you want on Friday."

That's a completely different way of looking at the equation. Now, I realize that in some cases, that's easier to say than to do. I get that. So I also explained to him that before I quit my job in sales and started running my own business, I asked myself three questions. I suggest you write these down, because this is really important for anything you choose to do with your life.

• What have I done to get to this point?• Can I repeat this process over and over?• What's the absolute worst-case scenario?

If I've made any other money besides what I made from my job, what have I done to make that money? Can I turn this into a sustainable thing that I can keep doing over and over—or was this just a one-off where I got lucky this time—and if I try it

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again, it's probably not going to pan out. And what's the worst-case scenario?

When I quit my job, I thought about what I did to get there and what I did to generate the money. Well, I had written sales copy for some of the biggest online Internet marketers, and that had put a decent amount of money in my pocket. I had also started researching and publishing information, much like I'm doing in this program right now. I asked myself whether I could continue writing sales copy if I needed to, even though that's not really what I wanted to focus my career on (I wanted to focus my career on sharing all the information I had learned throughout my life with people like you).

The second question I asked myself was whether I could continue to publish information. The answer to that was yes. And then the third question was about my worst-case scenario. My worst-case scenario was that everything that I had done would turn out to be a fluke. That the moment that I quit my job, all of the forces would turn against me. The universe would not work in my favor, and I would fall flat on my face and not make a dime. That was the worst-case scenario.

Then I asked myself how long I could go without having an income—where I could pay all my bills, make sure there's food on the table, and make sure there's a roof over my family's head without draining my savings. I was able to come up with a number that I felt comfortable with, and that was three months. I could live for three months with absolutely no money coming in. In addition, I realized that in that three-month period, I probably

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would be able to figure out how to get things moving again. But if I couldn't, I could always get another job. That was my worst case scenario.

My point is this. I'm not saying that once you decide to make a change, you just believe that everything is going to magically happen. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is if you ask yourself those three questions, the first two (what have I done to get here, and can I repeat the process) will force you into developing a strategic plan. Once you have your strategic plan developed, and you're ready to put it into place; that's when you can begin to take control. Once you have that in place, then it's time to shift your mind-set.

Instead of waking up on that first Monday morning and thinking, Oh my God, I don't have a guaranteed paycheck coming on Friday—instead, you should think, I don't have a guaranteed paycheck coming on Friday, so now I really need to execute this plan to the best of my ability to supplement my income. Once you're able to do that, you can repeat the process. As you get better at it, that's when the shift starts to happen. Instead of looking at it as a problem, you start to look at it as an advantage.

The way I see it, I'm glad that someone else isn't controlling the amount of money I make, because that's something I can decide. I can decide how much work I want to do, and what things I want to do in order to generate the amount of income that I want for that particular week; rather than it being governed by

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someone else. That's the difference between having a growth mind-set rather than a fixed mind-set.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I want to begin talking about how you can actually make this happen, because fixed mind-sets are usually embedded in your subconscious. You don't even realize you have it. You may be one of those people who swears you have the growth mind-set. You want to move ahead in life, yet you don't realize that you actually have a subconscious fear of success that is constantly holding you back and placing a ceiling on everything you do.

Again, the purpose of this call is to help you begin to do that; to move you from the fixed mind-set to the growth mind-set, and then show you how to develop unshakeable confidence while practicing influence, persuasion, conversational hypnosis, NLP, and most importantly—stealth magnetism—so that it looks and feels as elegant, as authentic, and as natural as possible. Once that happens, you'll have that confident state of mind. Once you have that confident state of mind, you will attract people that are in the same state of mind, and everything will flow a lot easier.

Everything I just shared was really the introduction to the next module. Now, we're really going to get into the meat and potatoes of how to actually do this. So, let's get to it. _____

I'd like to ask everyone to open up the second Stealth Mind Map—Stealth Mind Map, Volume Two, Mind Map Two—and I want

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you to zone into the middle of the page where it says Confidence.

This conversation is all about confidence—showing you how to have the confidence to execute everything you learn here. I want you to be able to use all the techniques that lead to stealth magnetism (NLP, conversational hypnosis, hypnotic language patterns) so you can use them in real life. Let's talk about confidence.

ConfidenceThe first thing that I want to talk about is PMA, or positive mental attitude (I realize there's a lot of nonsense out there about this subject). Now, I know this sounds very cliché, but it happens to be true: The book that set me on the path to changing the way I think about my life is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

I was twenty-three years old and working in sales when a client walked into my office, handed me the book, and said, "Paul, you have PMA."

I said, "Albert, what's PMA?"

He said, "PMA is positive mental attitude, and based on my conversations with you, I think this is a book that you'll really enjoy." He handed me Think and Grow Rich. I read the book, and it really did completely change my life. It changed the way I

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saw my reality. Of course, since that time, there have been a ton of publications written about positive mental attitude.

Now the problem with some of these newer publications is that a lot of them (please excuse my language) are simply bullshit. They tell you that as long as you positively visualize yourself doing something—that, that alone will completely change the results and outcomes of your life. And that's only one-half of the equation. Changing the mind-set is only one-half of the equation. Following through on certain actions and disciplines is the second set of steps that has to happen in this equation.

I'm a very big believer in visualization. I'm believe that you create your own realities. I'm a very big believer that the way you think ultimately dictates your experiences in life. I believe in all that. But I'm also a very big believer in harsh reality. I'm a very logical person. I don't believe in synthetic stuff—I believe in realistic stuff. And the bottom line is that you can do all the visualizations and positive affirmations that you want, but none of that will work unless you follow through.

And that's where most people miss the boat. They spend all their time conditioning themselves mentally, but they never follow through physically. And that creates a problem, because confidence is a self-perpetuating cycle. The more you take action, the better you become at something. The more prepared you are to do it again; the more confidence you will have to do it another time.

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Confidence does not exist on its own. You can psych yourself out all you want. You can create as much synthetic confidence as you'd like. Ultimately, the deciding factor in whether or not you become confident is if you can look back and say, Have I done this before? How good do I feel about my ability to do it again? And the only way that will happen is through developing the competence to complete a task through preparation, discipline, and practice.

Four Levels of ConfidenceThere are four levels of confidence, and the first is unconscious incompetence. Unconscious incompetence means that you don't possess a skill, and you also have no knowledge or are unaware of how useful that particular skill can be. For example, take someone who's extremely shy, and who doesn't realize how much their life could change if they became more confident. Someone who is already shy and doesn't realize the benefit of learning confidence is unconsciously incompetent.

Or let's talk my experience. Before someone handed me the book Think and Grow Rich, I was consciously incompetent about affirmations, visualization, positive mental attitude, the law of attraction, whatever the mind can conceive, it can achieve—all those different things that Napoleon Hill teaches us. I was unconsciously incompetent about that. I didn't realize how much it could change my life.

As I was reading the book, I moved to the second level, which is called conscious incompetence. And conscious incompetence is when a person becomes aware of how incompetent they are. I

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started to realize and accept his teachings as truths. I also realized I had a lot of self-development that needed to be done so I could master learning how to utilize the truths in the book. That's conscious incompetence.

The next level is conscious competence. Now, conscious competence is the state where you can apply a skill, technique, or strategy that you've learned, but you have to consciously think about how to do it. It's not yet a habit. The vast majority of people that are competent are consciously competent. They have to call upon a set of skills that they've learned before, and consciously try to remember how to execute them.

The fourth level of skill development is unconscious competence, and this is really the ultimate stage or highest tier of a skill set. Unconscious competence is the state where a skill is so ingrained that it's now become a habit, and you don't have to think about applying it. It just comes naturally. It comes as second nature. It's almost like breathing. That's true unconscious competence.

Now, this is our ultimate goal—to get you to that level of skill in order to be able to practice stealth magnetism—because that's what stealth magnetism is all about. As I described it before, stealth magnetism is when everything flows, and seems natural, and seems organic. Nothing seems forced. This occurs once you've achieved unconscious competence. As we go through this, I'd like you to keep in mind that ultimate goal.

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BeliefsSo, where do we begin? We start with your beliefs, because all of us have beliefs. Beliefs dictate your decisions and your actions in life. Your decisions and your actions equal your results. Whatever results you experience in your life are because of the decisions or actions that you take, and all of your decisions and actions are guided by your beliefs.

Now, the problem is that a lot of times, you make decisions to either take action or not take action that doesn't move you forward in life. It doesn't help you progress. It holds you back. You make bad decisions or you make decisions that aren't going to serve you, and this ties into your beliefs. There's a certain set of beliefs that you have that are driving these decisions.

So, if this is you—if currently there's something holding you back in life and it's because of your habits (you either consistently make bad decisions or don't act on things that you know you should be acting on) then really that ties into your beliefs about something. And I call these negative beliefs, because ultimately, they're having a negative result on your life.

The first thing we need to look at is the source of these beliefs. Where do your beliefs come from? Well, there's four major areas: past experiences, authority figures, environment, and media. Past experience is the result of you going through something in life. You ultimately assess that experience and then place a label on it. That label ties into your belief about something. For example, you continue to touch the stove until

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the day it's on and you get burned. Now you've had an experience.

The problem is that most people miss the "if it's on" part, and they automatically make the subconscious distinction that if they touch a stove, they're going to get burned. That's not necessarily true. You're only going to get burned if the stove is on. So, a lot of times there's a set of events and circumstances in between the past experience and the belief that you form because of those circumstances. You need to be aware of that.

Beliefs also come from authority figures. These are teachers, or aunts, or uncles, or our parents, or whoever raised you. Whatever you hear them talk about, whatever they tell you, whatever their beliefs are usually become ingrained in you at a very young age. It's usually around the age of seven where you really start to absorb everything you hear and also start formulating beliefs.

Beliefs also are formed due to the environment. Your environment encapsulates everything we've been discussing. When you're in a certain environment, when you're around certain people, or when you're exposed to certain things; that ultimately begins layering your mind with certain beliefs. Again, I always circle back to the fact that environment, in a lot of cases, dictates behavior. So, if you're in a certain environment where a group of people are consistently behaving in a certain way, you'll form beliefs based on your observation of their behavior.

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Lastly, our beliefs are formed through what is presented to us by the media. We formulate beliefs based upon what we're exposed to.

I don't watch the news and I don't read newspapers. If I need to be briefed on a current event, I'll speak about it with someone who's close to me and does watch the news. It's ultimately going to come to me anyway. I have a wife. I have her family. I have my family. I have a large group of friends. The majority of these people watch the news. So if something really important needs to get to me, it's going to get to me one way or another.

This morning I went to the gym. In the gym they have TVs, and they're always playing the news. I like to listen to music when I'm using the elliptical machine, but today the battery on my iPhone died. As I started to charge it, a bit of CNN's programming came through. The first three stories talked about who died, what country was getting blown up, what countries were at war, who was just killed, and who was just kidnapped. There's nothing but negativity in the news.

The same thing happened to me a few months ago. I had to go to a conference in Manhattan. I was in my hotel room getting ready to go to dinner, and I put on the TV. Again, the news came on. The first ten minutes talked about a shoot-out, a rape, and a whole bunch of other negative stuff that happened in New York City that day.

The more you expose yourself to that kind of negativity; the more you start to form negative beliefs about what goes on in

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your own life. You start to doubt whether you can achieve positive results. The media dictates a lot of our beliefs, and I think it's best to stay away from it.

It's always a good idea to analyze the sources of your beliefs, and ask yourself whether these sources are 100 percent accurate—reliable enough to be used to form your beliefs. A good way to do that is by analyzing the structure of your beliefs, of which there are two types: meaning and causality. Let me explain what I mean by these.

Your meaning beliefs are what you consider to be the definitive explanation of a particular subject. Your causality beliefs showcase what you consider to be the definitive correlation between two subjects. Now, how does this relate to you?

As I said before, your four main sources for beliefs are past experiences, authority figures, environment and media, and you have to take a second to analyze whether the adoption of your belief from any particular source might actually be false or untrue. All of us, including myself, can easily lose sight of the fact that we're taking on less than empowering beliefs (that are not helping us) from the wrong type of sources and adopting them as our own. The worst thing about these types of beliefs are they're inaccurate.

Now the strength of our beliefs can also be directly related to the quality of the experiences that form those beliefs. One example I often use is listening to a famous musician or watching the star of a movie. Both of those settings are designed to make that

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celebrity appear larger than life. In movies, we do this through special effects and the showcasing of the movie on a giant screen. When singers perform live on a stage, the music is really loud and we adopt a belief that these performers are larger than life. The visual and the auditory parts of the experience become magnified.

The Movie TechniqueNow, what I want to share with you is the movie technique and how it can be used to help fine-tune your beliefs.

In the same way that the quality of experience gets strengthened by your memory of visual and auditory magnifications of an experience (for example, a person on a large screen, the sound or special effects, or the sounds from a concert) you also have the capability to subtract power from a belief, as well.

You start out by thinking about the experience and picturing it in your mind's eye. Then begin by reducing the special effects—reducing the color on the screen; lowering the volume of the music that's being played. Although I'm using movie stars and musicians for this example, this can apply to any experience in your life. If you had a negative experience which is causing you to form a negative belief (and we'll get into this a little bit deeper in a few minutes) all you have to do is recall that experience in your mind and begin to subtract some of the things that initially intensified it. This will de-intensify, for lack of a better term, the experience.

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When you alter the visual and auditory qualities of your experiences and your beliefs, you also alter the feelings that are associated with those experiences. The bottom line is if you want good, positive feelings; you need to see and hear positive and bright sights and sounds. And that's really just the first step to changing a belief.

Now that you understand how to deliberately change beliefs, experiences and memories; you can begin to practice making your positive memories even better. You can also begin to neutralize your negative memories. When you do this, you can begin to lock in your most empowering beliefs; the ones that will help you develop and grow rather than hold you back.

Let me give you a real-world example of how you can do this. Obviously, the name of the game here is to have the confidence to remove any negative beliefs that you might have about your ability to influence other people. We want to remove anything that's going to prevent you from executing all the techniques and the strategies needed to practice stealth magnetism, and replace anything negative with the confidence to execute these techniques with ease—to eventually reach that level of unconscious competence where everything is organic, natural, and unforced.

The first step in doing this is breaking out of your shell—overcoming your fear of shyness and reaching out to people. So, piggybacking on what I just talked to you about (the quality of your experience, and how you can alter the visual and auditory

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cues that are involved in the experience) I want to show you how you can do that specifically using five steps.

Five Steps To More Positive BeliefsThe first step is to identify your mechanism of doubt. Where is this doubt coming from? At this point you should think about a former belief that you had which is no longer the same. Maybe you used to believe in the Easter Bunny when you were a kid, and, of course, you no longer do. So, think about that belief for a second. Think about something that you used to believe to be true, and you now believe to be untrue.

Now, I want you to recall that belief, and I want you to see everything that's associated with it. More importantly, since we're paying attention to the structure of the belief, I want you pay even closer attention to the visual qualities of that specific belief, and I want you to make note of them.

There's three questions I now want you to ask yourself.

• What are the visual qualities of that belief? • How big is it? What is the size of it? • Is it clear? Is it fuzzy? Is it bright?

Now there are a lot more questions you could ask yourself (like is it flat or three-dimensional). At this point, I want to keep it simple.

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With your eyes still closed, I want you to now tune into the sounds that are associated with this former belief that you used to have, and pay very close attention to the quality of the sounds as you answer these questions.

• How loud are the sounds that you hear? • Are there other sounds that you hear besides a voice of

authority? • Are you hearing a voice of authority? • Are you hearing a voice of doubt?• Are there any other sounds that you're hearing besides

authority and doubt (if you are hearing those)?

The next step is to break the state, and this is actually very easy to do. Simply open your eyes, take a deep breath, and name three different things that you see in the room. This is going to assist you in moving from a state of doubt back into the neutral state. Now, it's also good to move around and change your physiology a bit. This will also help you return back to that neutral state.

Step three is you want to identify the how. You want to figure out exactly what is leading to the development of this belief. Now I want you to think about something that's absolutely, positively true; something that's completely factual; something that cannot be questioned, and you know to be 100 percent true. It could be that the sky is blue. It could be that there's oxygen in the air which keeps us alive. Now I want you to zone in on those same visual and auditory qualities in this factual, truthful belief

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that you have, and do it the same way that you did with the doubting belief.

You want to ask yourself what size it is. Is it clear or out of focus? How bright is it? And with your eyes still closed, you now tune into the auditory or the sounds that are associated with this belief that you know to be absolutely true; so listen closely. Do you hear a voice of doubt? Do you hear a voice of authority? Are there any other sounds that you hear, and how loud are they?

The next step is to break the state again. So again, when you're done taking note of all of these visual and auditory qualities, take a deep breath and name three different things in the room. Physically move around a little bit. Change your physiology to return back to that neutral state.

The last step is to simply change the belief. Now, I want you to think of a limiting belief of yours. It could be anything. Since we're talking about confidence, think of one that relates to your confidence or your inability to break out of your shell. It could that it's hard for you to initiate a conversation with strangers. This is a belief that could possibly be limiting you. We know for a fact that it limits many people who are trying to execute the strategies and techniques involved in stealth magnetism and anything related to influence or persuasion.

Once you've identified the limiting belief leading to the difficulty of breaking out of your shell, I want you to close your eyes and notice all of the visual and auditory qualities of that

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belief—the same thing that we just did in the first three steps. Now, after you've gathered all the visual and auditory qualities of that belief, begin changing each and every one of those qualities (all of the visual and all of the auditory qualities in the limiting belief) to match all of the visual and auditory qualities of something that you use to believe but no longer believe. So, we're going to circle back to that former truth—the Easter Bunny—the thing that you use to believe that you no longer believe to be true. Now what this does is it actually recodes the limiting belief that you have, and it transforms it into something that you no longer believe.

You want to be absolutely positive that the visual and auditory qualities of the limiting belief match those of the old belief as closely as possible. You want to try to make them identical. Once you're done changing that belief or transforming it; open your eyes, take a deep breath, and resituate yourself back into that normal, neutral state of being. When you do this, you have taken the first step in removing this limiting belief that's holding you back from breaking out of your shell and executing what you learned with precision and ease.

Now what we want to do is place an empowering belief in your mind where this limiting belief used to be. To do this, think about something related to your confidence that, when you believe it, will make a positive impact or improve your life. As you close your eyes, think of what you really want to believe in. Think of something that you want to be fully vested in. And as you become more aware of the auditory and visual qualities of that belief, begin changing those qualities to match the visual

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and auditory qualities of one of your strongest, positive truth beliefs—something that you know to be absolutely true—like the sky is blue.

You should now be at the point where you feel this new, empowering belief. You'll feel the same way about this belief that you feel about the sky being blue—a strongly held belief. Again, you want to make sure that the visual and auditory qualities of this new, absolutely true belief that you're instilling is matched up as closely as possible to your other previous true beliefs.

Overcoming FearAs powerful and effective as these techniques are, as I said before, I'm a very big fan of reality—even when reality may be, in fact, a harsh reality. So, here's reality. These techniques aren't going to work for everyone—at least not on the first try—and the reason why is a big, nasty, four-letter word that starts with "f."

And no, it's not what you think it is. It's fear. Fear is one thing that can put you into a state of paralysis. You know, it's fight or flight. Well, for a lot of people, the reaction is usually flight. And there are four major things that people are afraid of, and these four things will basically shatter your attempts to build up the confidence that you need to eventually build the competence that you need. The four things that most people are afraid of include change, the unknown, success and failure.

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Why are you so afraid of change? Well, the fact is that we're all creatures of habit. We all naturally prefer the path of least resistance. Even people that tell you that they like challenges, obstacles, and things that don't come easy to them all engage in activities that might be challenging with the hope that they will reach a goal at the end and that goal will provide them with something positive.

The truth is that these people are in the minority. The majority of you do not like change, and the reason for that is because most people think that change equals pain. And mostly every decision that you make is made either from the desire to experience pleasure or the desire to avoid pain—and statistically, you will do more to avoid pain then you will to gain pleasure. So, if change represents pain, then you can imagine how often you will run from it.

But you have to realize that change is a part of growth. As the old saying goes, "If you ain't growing, you're dying." So, every single aspect of your life, on one level or another, is going to involve change. Change is a natural part of life. Your life starts out as a little baby—as someone that's completely dependent on someone else. You then go through all these different phases of life, and they all involve change. So, it's better to just accept change and realize that you're going to have to deal with it no matter what, and that you might as well just embrace it, use it and leverage it, instead of being afraid of it.

You know, at the start of any big change, there's going to be some pain, and maybe even some negative effects, but you have

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to look on the bright side. You have to look long-term. You have to realize that the difficulty that you might experience in the beginning is only going to help you down the line. So, keep that in mind.

The second fear is fear of the unknown. This is actually a very common fear, although personally, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me, and I'll tell you why. From a logical point of view, life has many aspects and many parts of it that are unknown. I mean, nothing is guaranteed, and you never really know what will happen from moment to moment. The truth is that if you actually knew what was going to happen at every single moment, your life would be very boring, as you would never have any surprises. Regardless, one of the main reasons why people are afraid of the unknown is the predictability factor.

I believe everyone in life is striving for predictability. We want to be able to predict our incomes. We want to be able to predict how our relationships will work. We want to be able to predict the direction of our kids' lives. We want to predict how our careers will progress. Everyone is looking for predictability, and I get that. But the fact of the matter is, you can't predict everything.

What you can do is put systems, strategies and tactics, to a lesser degree, in place to try and increase predictability as much as possible; but that's a whole different conversation. You can only do these things once you overcome the fear of the unknown; because once you do that, you gain a little bit more confidence. Once you gain confidence, you begin to take more risks. As you

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take risks, you learn more. As you learn more, you become more comfortable and you become more competent. As I said before, it's a self-perpetuating cycle.

So, the more action you take, the more experienced you become, the more prepared you become, and the more confident you become to take things to the next level. That's when you can start implementing strategies, tactics, techniques and systems to ultimately make certain things more predictable—but that's like at level five. I'm focusing right now on getting you to level one, which is simply overcoming your fear and your negative beliefs which prevent you from having the confidence to execute what I teach you—eloquently and with precision.

Next is the fear of success. Now you may wonder who could possibly be afraid of succeeding. The answer is a lot of people. It's actually a subconscious fear, and it's a fear that can paralyze you and prevent you from taking any action that's going to bring forth positive results in your life. And this, again, has a lot to do with conditioning, with myths, and with falsities that you create in your own mind.

The best example I can give is that oftentimes people feel guilty when they start making money, and a lot of that has to do with beliefs that were instilled in you at a very young age. I told you about my mom and her employee mind-set. Well, my dad has an entrepreneurial mind-set. His first business was very successful, and he was very young when he started it. In six months, he was able to save up a down payment for the house that I grew up in,

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and he also paid the house off within the first ten years of owning it.

He eventually tired of that business and moved onto something else—and made a couple of bad decisions. I still remember my mom telling him to forget about being in business and to get a job. She told me the same thing as I was growing up—to get a nine to five job with benefits and a guaranteed paycheck. And again, that is the opposite of who I am.

Thus, I adopted a belief at a young age that having too much money is a bad thing; having too much money is evil. Too much money means greed. And on an even deeper level, I have a belief that if you make a lot of money and you don't work hard for it (the work isn't challenging enough or it's not something you dread doing) that's also bad.

A common belief (especially among people who grew up in the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s) is that most people don't make a lot of money and that having too much money is not good. It's also a common belief that if you want to earn a lot of money, you have to be willing to work at something you don't like—hence the definition of hard-earned money or back-breaking hard work. Should you break either one of those two rules; then you don't feel good about money.

I made a lot of money when I first got into sales, and I did so very quickly. I found myself in a situation where even though I was making over six figures a year, and I was doing something that I was good at, and the money was coming relatively easily

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to me (because I was utilizing traits about myself that came naturally to me) I still didn't have a lot of money. In fact, I had a lot of credit card debt and was still living from paycheck to paycheck.

The reason for this was because the money was finding a way to escape my hands—because subconsciously, I was holding onto the belief that having a lot of money is a bad thing, and that easy money is even worse. I was subconsciously finding ways to get rid of that money. As I started learning more (and using some of the techniques that I'm sharing with you today about confidence) I began to rewire my mind to accept money, and to understand that there is such a thing as working smart versus working hard.

Next is the fear of failure. Fear of failure is probably the number one thing that stops people from getting (or even trying to get) what they want. But here's the thing. I would rather be an unjustified success than a justified failure (Dan Kennedy). I'm an avid follower and fan of marketing guru Dan Kennedy. One of his greatest books is No B.S. Wealth Attraction in the New Economy. I recommend that you read this book. He elaborates a lot more on these beliefs and how changing your mind-set will bring you more money. You can probably get the Kindle version of that book on Amazon for ten bucks or less. I definitely recommend checking that out, as a lot of what I'm saying will make even more sense to you.

Dan Kennedy, by the way, began his multimillion dollar career as a public speaker. And Dan Kennedy failed speech in grade school. If you were to predict what would happen to Dan based

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on his performance in school, he would be a failure today. But he defied what was predicted in grade school based on his supposed strengths, and became a huge success despite his supposed weaknesses.

The same applies for me. If you were to ask my grade school teachers what they expected for me, they'd probably tell you I would be doing a job that didn't involve any sort of real thought or effort—because that's exactly how I acted when I was in grade school. I was terrible at math, and I was always, at best, a C+ student. I didn't go to college. I didn't get a degree. Yet here I am far more successful (success being defined on my terms) than any of these teachers would have predicted. And the reason for that has to do with the fact that I took chances, and I took risks, and I believed in myself, even though I knew there was a chance that I could fail. And it turned out that I became successful. I would rather be an "unjustified success" than a justified failure.

You have to learn to adopt that mind-set and realize that everyone fails, and that you actually learn a lot more from your failures than you learn from your successes. Because here's the deal. If you go through life on a winning streak and you're constantly succeeding, I mean, God bless you. You're having a great string of luck.

The problem is that in reality that never happens to anybody. Based on the law of numbers, at some point you're going to run into a failure; and if you're not experienced in dealing with failure, learning how to overcome challenges, and learning how

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to stay strong when certain things happen to you—well, when that one failure hits you that you've never experienced before, what kind of an impact do you think that's going to have on you? It's going to have a very devastating impact on you. Don't be afraid of failure. Realize that failure is just simply part of the game.

An example I like to use is the game of football. When you watch a football game, very rarely is there a big play—where someone scores a touchdown right way, or they kick the ball from one end of the field to the opposite end, or the guy runs the ball all the way back in one shot without ever getting tackled. The game of football is really a series of "little failures" as I like to call them. Obviously, the main objective is to get to the opposite end of the field. But you throw the ball, and the guy gets tackled. Sometimes the quarterback gets tackled. But it's all these little so-called failures that bring a team closer to the end zone to eventually score that touchdown.

And that's how life works. That's the reality. Very rarely do we throw a ball in the air and get an immediate touchdown. Reality is that in most cases you'll have these little setbacks, but you learn from each one of them. I mean, if everyone succeeded the first time they threw the ball in football, the game would be boring, because you'd know exactly what's going to happen each and every time. Secondly, they wouldn't have to devise plays that work in certain circumstances. The same is true in life. So, realize that mistakes are the best way to learn. Most successful people that I speak to will tell you that they learn more from

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their failures than they do from their successes. So, don't be afraid of failure.

Techniques to Develop ConfidenceNow, we're going to wrap this up with Section Five on the Mind Map which is Techniques. I'm going to end today's call by giving you some techniques that I've discovered over the years (most of them have to do with NLP) that will show you how to instill confidence in yourself. You can really apply these techniques to any aspect of your life, but for the sake of this conversation, we're going to apply them to giving you the confidence to break that shell and begin executing everything that you're going to learn in the later parts of stealth magnetism.

The first step is what we call the instant shift and here's how it works. It's really simple. Recall in your mind's eye an unconfident action that you take. Think of a time when you find yourself trying to do something but you're not confident about it. Pull that together in your mind. Visualize it as clearly as you can. And the reason why this is important is because once you become aware that you're not confident about something, you then can develop the power to change it. It no longer has to be a given that you're not confident about this particular aspect of your life.

If you have a limiting, negative parasite of a voice nagging you, I'm sure you're aware that it can stop you dead in your tracks when you really want to make something positive happen. As you pay attention to this parasite (to this internal voice) notice

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what sorts of images come into your mind. Think about what you hear. Think about what you see.

Now what you need to do is interrupt that process. Imagine something like a police officer jumping up inside your mind and yelling as loud as he can, "Stop!" and completely breaking apart the entire image that you have in your mind of you not being confident. Once you do that, you then shift your state. And one of the fastest and most effective ways to do that is to employ confident physiology. Keep your shoulders back, keep your head up, keep your stomach tucked in, and put a smile on your face. Feel good about yourself.

Because here's the thing. Your mind and your body are interconnected. Whatever you're thinking in your mind can be expressed through your physiology, and whatever your physiology represents can also express what's going on in your mind, so you can use both of them to feed off of each other. If you change your physiology to appear confident, you will then begin to trigger that within your mind.

The second technique that you can learn is the rehearsal of confidence. You can do that in just four steps, and here's how that works. Simply focus on an image of you acting confidently (like on a movie screen) and listen to your confident speech. Listen very closely to what you're confidently saying, and then begin to zoom in on the picture and turn up the volume. You want to intensify everything that's going on and then feel the confidence that you're projecting on that screen.

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Another thing you can do is program confidence. Think about this. Think back to a time when you were really confident in the past. And again, pay very close attention to what you see, hear, and feel as you experience this state of complete confidence. Now, there's a structure to this confidence experience similar to the structure of a building. They're both the same. There are certain qualities that you are going to hear and feel and see in a building when you look at it that are specific only to that building.

And in the same respect, there are certain things that you see, hear, and feel only when you're in that state of true confidence. When you relive that previous experience of being 100 percent confident in what you are doing, ask yourself the following questions to become aware of the visual qualities of that confidence. What sizes do you see? Do you see a picture or a movie? Is it flat or is it three-dimensional? How close is it? How bright is it? Is it in color or black and white? And is it clear or fuzzy?

Then, ask yourself the following questions to help yourself become more aware of the auditory qualities. What do you hear? What's the tempo? What's the pitch? How loud is it? In what direction does it sound like it's coming from?

And then to become more aware of the sensory qualities, ask yourself where does the feeling begin in your body? How intense is the feeling? What direction is it coming from? And how long does the feeling last? We call this noticing all the qualities.

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Now imagine a future situation where you're going to need confidence—asking for a raise, asking a person out on a date, or any situation where you're going to have to practice stealth magnetism or influence or persuasion. Imagine yourself in that future situation where you're going to need confidence. Now imagine yourself adjusting all of the visual, sensory and auditory qualities to match the previous experience where you were confident. Make what you see, what you hear, and what you feel exactly the same.

The next thing you can do is a time-tested, very popular one called anchoring. All you need to do is practice a favorite confidence-generating exercise, which is basically a point in your life where you felt confident in something, or you felt confident doing something. As you do this, as you imagine this, listen to a piece of music that makes you feel confident, or imagine an image that makes you feel really confident—something that really resides in you.

I'm a big fan of music, so music really works well for me. I do this a lot when I'm at the gym. I'll get on the elliptical machine. I'll practice that confidence-generating exercise and then I'll listen to music that I can really zone into and be in sync with. I almost go into a trance when I'm aligning that music with that confidence-generating exercise. And when you want to recreate that confident feeling, all you need to do is replay that music in your head again, or picture that image again in your head. What it will do is anchor you back to that point when you were truly confident.

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And then the last one that I want to share with you is the subtract, add, and change technique. Again, this is really simple and only consists of four steps. Envision yourself in a stuck location—in a location where you cannot be confident. For whatever reason, you just cannot make it happen. A perfect example of this is when you need to make a logical decision that you know is right, but there's an emotional component that's blocking you.

Say you are in business with your friend and maybe he's not living up to his end of the bargain. You know that you either have to let him go, or you have to cut his pay, or you have to demote him and put him into another position. You know that logically you need to do that; but you're stuck because of the emotional connection that you have.

What you can do is envision this scenario in your mind between you and him. But what you're going to do this time is instead of you jumping into the movie, you're going to look at this from an outside perspective. You're going to view this movie from a third-person point of view. You step outside of your own body and look at yourself making a decision. Picture yourself in this mental movie as a detached observer, and pretend or imagine that you're the narrator as you refer to yourself in the third person by repeatedly using your name.

Now, think through that decision-making process out loud, but do it from a detached frame of mind. As you narrate your thinking progress regarding this decision, make sure that you

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have confident physiology and tonality. This will help you make a firm commitment to the decision where you ultimately want to go or you ultimately want to arrive at. And the end result will be that your decision will be more rational. Emotion will have less influence and play less of a role in your decision since you've literally given yourself some distance from the situation.

Now, you want to step out of that stuck location (again, break the state). Name three things in the room to balance yourself. Next is to step into the disassociated location and watch how you resolve this situation in a confident manner. Last, step into the resource location and think back to a time in your life when you exuded confidence.

Any one of these given techniques that you use (the instant shift, the rehearsal, the program, the anchor or the subtract, add, and change) will really work wonders in helping you build the confidence that you need to be able to execute everything that you're going to learn in the next set of calls on stealth magnetism.

Now, I'm going to leave you with this. What I've shared with you here is in no way, shape or form the quintessential manual or body of knowledge on overcoming fear or developing confidence. I am not a motivational speaker. I am not Anthony Robbins. I'm not Mark Victor Hansen. I'm not Jack Canfield. I'm not Bob Proctor. But, I have certainly read a lot of material over the years, and this is my synopsis of what I believe actually works.

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Again, I'm a big fan of reality. I'm not a fan of fantasy. I'm not a fan of just thinking positive about something that's synthetic just for the sake of making myself feel good. I want to be able to actually use something that's going to work and that I'm going to get results from. What I've shared with you here is probably a blend of between ten to fifteen different books that I've read over the years and from which I've taken little pieces of what I think works and what I've been able to successfully use.

We're going to wrap this up for today. I look forward to the next call with you. We're going to start going over some really powerful stuff and diving more into stealth magnetism. Until then, take what I've given you today, study the mind map, and just put this stuff to work for you. Believe me when I tell you—it works.

Everyone have a good night.

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