ConflictRise above it, and become better

What is Conflict?

• What is conflict?

• Have you had any lately?

• What causes conflict?

• It's in you, you’re own desire to be like God and to follow the sinful nature...

James 4:1-3

• What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Dealing with Conflict

• Is it OK to have conflict?

• Well, it has to be, it's hard to avoid!

• It’s how we handle the conflict that shows our maturity in Christ.

• How does God wants us to handle conflict?

• Jesus wasn't afraid of conflict

Matthew 21:12

• Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.

• Jesus wants us to be like him, the prince of peace, but not by avoiding conflict...

• He wants us to address conflict head on, as peacemakers...

Conflict into Peace?

• Matthew 5:9

• Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God

• So how do we turn conflict into peace?

• How do we bring order to chaos?

• God has a knack for doing this (Genesis 1)

Put Peace Into Practice

• Let’s look at some applicable things you can do to confront with peace

• All of these examples are based on Biblical principals, but you can use them in your everyday interaction with people

• MySpace comments, talking with your teachers or parents, friends, etc.

Love Your Enemies

• The Bible calls us to love our enemies

• But how do we do that?

• This verse tells us how!

• The other suggestions are based on loving our enemies when arguments arise

• That’s how you resolve conflict!

Luke 6:27-31

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Stop Your First Reaction

• If your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting

• Take a deep breath

• Give it a little thought.

• We all can get angry when criticized because our emotions fly faster than our logic.

Cool Off & Respond

• Cooling off time allows me to give it a little more thought beyond the initial reaction.

• It allows logic to step in, past the emotion.

• Emotion is good, but negative emotions can cause more harm than good.

• Let your emotions run their course, and then respond when you are calmer.

Bible Verses

• 1 Corinthians 13:4-5Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

• Ecclesiastes 7:9Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Turn NegativeInto a Positive

• One of the keys to success in anything...

• Find positive things in things that most people see as a negative

• There is always a nugget of truth in what people say if you can strip away the gunk.

• The person may be having a bad day or doesn't know Christ.

Bible Verse

• 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

• Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

• So find the truth in every situationand how you can use that to adapt

Be The Better Person

• Too many times we take criticism as a personal attack, as an insult to who we are.

• Take it as a criticism of your actions, not your person.

• If you do that, you can detach yourself from the criticism emotionally and see what should be done objectively.

Whack Back Attack. Ack!

• Our natural response to personal criticism is to attack back.

• I’m not going to let ‘em talk to me that way!

• If criticized in public you feel more inclined to defend yourself, and attack the attacker.

• Right? Wrong!

Shut Up!

• By attacking the attacker, you are stooping to their level.

• By responding, you give their words power.

• Even if the person was mean or rude, you don’t have to be the same way.

• You don’t have to commit the same sins.

Rise To The Challenge

• Be the better person.

• If you can rise above the petty insults and attacks, and respond in a calm and positive manner to the meet of the criticism, you will be the better person.

• Not just look better, but become better!

Romans 12:17-19

• Do not repay anyone evil for evil.

• Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

• Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:

• “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” says the Lord.

Romans 12:20-21

• On the contrary:

• If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

• If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

• In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.

• Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Throw Your Weight

• Take the higher ground and win your enemies to Christ simply by your actions...

• Doing this is like the martial arts called “Judo” where you use a person's movements or weight against them.

• You may have noticed this technique during our pummeling game!

Good Quotes

• “Vengeance may break their spirit; but kindness will break their heart”

• The Chinese word for crisis is two symbols Danger and Opportunity

• Be used by God by how you handle conflict

• Be a Son of God

Homework

• Read Titus!

• This my second favorite book of the Bible

• Ecclesiastes is my first...

• I put these verses on the next slidesto for reference. Read them!

Titus 1:6-7An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain.

Titus 1:8-9

Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.