Biblical Counselor Training Class Lesson 9: Communication & Conflict Resolution.
Conflict and Conflict Resolution 1222157361594383 9
Transcript of Conflict and Conflict Resolution 1222157361594383 9
Conflict and Conflict Conflict and Conflict ResolutionResolution
Presented byPresented by
Naila AaijazNaila Aaijaz
What is conflict?What is conflict?
““A struggle to resist or A struggle to resist or overcome; contest of opposing overcome; contest of opposing forces or powers; strife; battle. A forces or powers; strife; battle. A state or condition of opposition; state or condition of opposition; antagonism; discord. A painful antagonism; discord. A painful tension set up by a clash tension set up by a clash between opposed and between opposed and contradictory impulses."contradictory impulses."
Effects of conflictEffects of conflict
AvoidanceAvoidance Inability to work Inability to work
togethertogether Verbal assaultVerbal assault ResentmentResentment
This causes us a great This causes us a great degree of discomfort, degree of discomfort, anger, frustration, anger, frustration, sadness and pain.sadness and pain.
Causes of conflictCauses of conflict
There is a perceived breach of faith There is a perceived breach of faith and trust between individualand trust between individual
There is unresolved disagreement There is unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional that has escalated to an emotional levellevel
There is miscommunication leading There is miscommunication leading to unclear expectationsto unclear expectations
Causes of conflictCauses of conflict
There are personality clashesThere are personality clashes There are differences in acquired There are differences in acquired
valuesvalues There is underlying stress and There is underlying stress and
tensiontension There are ego problemsThere are ego problems There are combinations of the aboveThere are combinations of the above
Is conflict good?Is conflict good? A certain degree of conflict is a healthy A certain degree of conflict is a healthy
signsign Too much conflict; communication Too much conflict; communication
problemsproblems No conflict; disinterest amongst the No conflict; disinterest amongst the
members of the group and lack of inputmembers of the group and lack of input Arises from unclear aims and objectivesArises from unclear aims and objectives DonDon’’t make disagreements personalt make disagreements personal Conflict can help improve the level of Conflict can help improve the level of
qualityquality
CriticismCriticism
Should be actively encouragedShould be actively encouraged Constructive criticism encourages Constructive criticism encourages
growthgrowth A way of coaching ourselves and othersA way of coaching ourselves and others Criticize wellCriticize well Good criticism helps others to evaluate Good criticism helps others to evaluate
their own work effectivelytheir own work effectively Keep neutralKeep neutral
Scale of criticismScale of criticism
Ridicule / over criticizing Good criticism Complete consensus : No criticism
ResponsibilitiesResponsibilities It is your responsibility as a group and as It is your responsibility as a group and as
individuals to do the following: individuals to do the following: Achieve success in completing allocated Achieve success in completing allocated
tasks. tasks. Achieve success in fulfilling allocated Achieve success in fulfilling allocated
roles. roles. Help other individuals achieve success. Help other individuals achieve success. Ensure that all members contribute as Ensure that all members contribute as
equally as possible. equally as possible. Make progress in every group session. Make progress in every group session. Help to achieve the aims set out by the Help to achieve the aims set out by the
group in the initial stages. group in the initial stages.
Conflict ResolutionConflict Resolution
The 7 Steps to Conflict The 7 Steps to Conflict Resolution Resolution
To Resolve a To Resolve a ConflictConflict
What toWhat tosay or do?say or do?
Why?Why?
1. Calm yourself
Take a deep breath, say "relax"
Clears thinking, models control
2. Restore order
Take a "Time Out"
Stops the fight, contains the damage
3. Hear their stories
"Help me understand your concern."
Gathers information, defuses tension
To Resolve a To Resolve a ConflictConflict
What toWhat tosay or do?say or do?
Why?Why?
4. Listen carefully
Eye contact, don't interrupt
Honors the need to be heard
5. Generate solutions
"How could we resolve this?"
Moves from accusations to solutions
6. Agree on a solution
"Would this work for you?"
Moves to resolution, brings closure
To Resolve To Resolve a Conflicta Conflict
What toWhat tosay or do?say or do?
Why?Why?
7. Test for 7. Test for satisfaction satisfaction
"Are you sure "Are you sure this will work this will work for you?"for you?"
Assures clear Assures clear communicationcommunication
Key points to rememberKey points to remember
Be a model of calm and controlBe a model of calm and control Don't give in to emotional Don't give in to emotional
outburstsoutbursts Don't assume people are being Don't assume people are being
difficult intentionallydifficult intentionally Find a quiet place in to resolve Find a quiet place in to resolve
conflicts....privatelyconflicts....privately
Key points to rememberKey points to remember
Set some ground rules for the Set some ground rules for the discussion:discussion:
No raising of voicesNo raising of voices This is not a debateThis is not a debate Speak only for yourself..."I" Speak only for yourself..."I"
phrasesphrases Confront the issues, not the peopleConfront the issues, not the people Maintain or enhance self-esteemMaintain or enhance self-esteem