Positive Living 21

'Who am I?'

Defining meThe purpose of this exercise is to encourage you to start thinking about what makes you the unique person that you are.

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Complete the following:My favourite food

______________________________________________My favourite song/music

______________________________________________My favourite place

______________________________________________An important person in my life

______________________________________________My favourite possession

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Key message It’s OK to be who you are — to be individual — to not be good at everything. It makes you UNIQUE.

I am __________________________________________________

I am __________________________________________________

I am __________________________________________________

I am __________________________________________________

‘I am…?’Think about some other ways you could describe yourself. Complete a few ‘I am’ statements. Include skills or charac-teristics, likes/dislikes, and groups or teams you belong to.

Some examples are:‘I am a brother/sister’‘I am a member of the soccer team’‘I am a chocoholic’

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Self-esteem• The way you feel about yourself, or how you rate

yourself is called self-esteem. Self-esteem is to do with accepting yourself, feeling confident, and liking yourself.

• Everyone’s feelings about themselves can change from day to day, and are affected by many different situations and events.

• Nobody feels good about themselves all the time.• People sometimes respond differently to the same

event—how we feel about ourselves is partly affected by the expectations we have of ourselves.

Self-esteem —my Self Star RatingOn a scale of 0 to 10, rate your self-esteem or how you feel about yourself today.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Feel very unhappy with myself and totally lacking confidence

Feel OK with myself

Feel very happy with myself and confident

about things

My SelfStar Rating

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My strengthsBelow are some personal strengths that are divided up into the five broad ‘selfcontexts’ that are often used by young people. They may or may not be appropriate for you.

1. Circle any of the strengths that may be appropriate for you.2. Then add some of your own strengths in each area.

Social Interests/sports

I am a caring friendI listen when others have a problemI get along with othersI have friends I can rely onI do fun things with others

I play a sportI work well in a teamI enjoy listening to musicI have a hobby/interestI like to be creative

Family School

I help around the houseI try to get along with my familyI help look after a pet

I try to do my bestI have a subject I enjoyI contribute in classI enjoy learning new thingsI am involved in school activities

Personal characteristics

I am not afraid to ask for helpI try to think about others' feelingsI try to finish things I start

I listen to other people's opinionsI have a sense of humour

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Reflection

Rate your current self-esteem using the Self Star Rating.

Number of stars

Do you think listing some personal strengths made you feel differently about yourself? If so, why might this be?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Of the five self-esteem contexts—social, school, family, per-sonal characteristics and interests/sports—which are the most important to you and why?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Write down two or three things that you believe are most important for building self-esteem._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Happy pansyLearning to be happy for who you are

You may feel sad at home because you are not as bright as your brother or sister. You may not like going to school because your friend is so beautiful and popular but you are not. Perhaps you don’t like maths class because your friend is a champion and you don’t understand maths at all.

Do you feel very unimportant sometimes? If you feel sad for these reasons, then read the following story.

I had a wonderful dream last night. I dreamed that I had a big garden. My garden had many plants in it.

I went for a walk in the garden. But to my surprise, I found that the plants didn’t look very happy. Most of them were withering and dying.

I met an oak tree near the gate. I asked the oak tree, “Why are you dying?” The oak tree replied, “I am sick of this life because I am not tall and beautiful like the pine tree.”

Then I went near the pine tree. I saw that it was also upset. When I asked why, the pine tree replied, “I cannnot bear delicious fruit like the pear tree. So I don’t like myself.”

I then went to the pear tree. Even the pear tree looked sad. The tree told me, “I want to be like the spruce. That way my fragrance will spread throughout the garden. I really don’t like being a pear.”

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Happy pansyLearning to be happy for who you are

Finally I reached near a pansy. I saw that its face was bright and cheerful.

Seeing the pansy, I said, “Well, little flower. I am glad to find at least one plant that is happy in my garden.”

The pansy then replied, “Oh my master, I know I'm small. But I realized that you wanted a pansy when you planted me. If you had wanted an oak or a pear tree, you would have planted an oak or a pear seed in my place. But you planted my seed because you wanted me to grow here. Therefore, I have decided to be the best little flower I can be.”

The other plants also heard pansy’s words. They became ashamed of themselves.

“We’re sorry, master,” they said to me. “We are what we are and we are happy to be so.”

Then they all started singing:

We are what we areAnd we’re happy to be so

We’re all so special and uniqueOh, yo ho ho!

Their song got louder and louder. And then I woke up.

The pansy taught me a beautiful lesson. Now I always remember that I am a special person in this world. I am good the way I am. Oh I love myself!

Always remember, you are a special person in this world. You will learn and grow, and you will do special things in life.

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A. There are some words in the lesson that are underlined. Use them to complete the sentences below.

1. I am _________ because I lost my pocket money.2. The plants are _________ because you have stopped watering them. 3. Mom cooks _________ food.4. Flowers have sweet _________.5. I am a special and _________ person in the world.6. I _________ my mistake and said sorry to my friend.

B. Answer the following questions.

1. What plants were there in the garden?2. Why were the oak tree and the pine tree withering?3. Why was the pansy happy?4. What have you learnt from the story?5. Think of another suitable title for the story.

C. Complete the following sentences with the right words and phrases.

1. The oak tree was sick of life because _________.2. The pine tree was unhappy because _________.3. The pear tree wanted to have _________.4. The flower pansy was blooming brightly because he knew _________.5. We should all be like _________.

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Class activityWrite down 10 good things about you in the blanks below. You can write about how you look, what you have and what you can do.

Now tell the class what you have written.

ApplicationCopy what you have written above in the blanks on a separate page. Stick that page in your room where you can see it frequently. You can even stick it near a mirror. Now every time you will read that page you will know how special you are!

Note:Many inspirational audio-video materials have been provided to schools where this book is taught. Your teacher will play for you some of those audios and videos.

1.2.3.4.5.

6.7.8.9.10.

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My routineLearning to form and break habits

A habit is something that you do regularly. You do it without even thinking about it.

A habit may be good or bad. Good habits help you to be a good person. They help you to be who you want to be in life. They help you to be successful in life. Everyone likes a person with good habits.

Bad habits, on the other hand, make you a bad person. Nobody likes a person with bad habits.

Good habits, bad habitsA. Here is a list of some habits that people have. Can you tell which ones are good and which ones are bad?

❑ Brushing your teeth every day❑ Smoking❑ Drinking alcohol❑ Eating chocolates every day❑ Exercising❑ Taking a bath every day❑ Saying “please” and “thank you”❑ Teasing❑ Beating and fighting❑ Cheating in the exam❑ Telling lies❑ Helping your parents❑ Reading books❑ Playing games

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My routineLearning to form and break habits

B. Do you know someone who has good habits? What good habits do they have? Do you also know someone who has bad habits? What bad habits do they have? Which person do you like—the person with good habits or the person with bad habits?

C. What about you? What good habits and what bad habits do you have? Do you want to change your bad habits into good ones? How do you want to do it? Sit in pairs and discuss.

Group discussionOften little things that you do can annoy or irritate other people. You should try to change these bad habits and start behaving well.

Look at each of the bad habits below. Then discuss them with the help of the following questions.

How does this habit affect other people?How can you change this habit?

Bad habits

1. Always pushing to be at the front of the line.2. Leaving pencils and other belongings all over the table.3. Kicking the table or tapping the foot while others are studying.4. Chomping (eating noisily) your food at the lunch table.5. Not listening to other people when they are talking.

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Worst and best habitsMisbehavingMisbehaving, or being mean to others, is one of the worst habits you can have.Do you know anyone who misbehaves all the time? Do you like him or her? Of course not.People who misbehave think that they are being important. They may also think that it’s a good thing to be rude to others. But actually they are making a fool of themselves. Nobody likes what they do.

ComplimentingA compliment is something good you say about a person. The habit of complimenting is one of the best habits you can have.What can you say to compliment someone?● You can say something good about how the person looks. For example, you can say:“You look beautiful.”OR“I like your hair.”● You can also say something good about what the person does. For example, you can say:“You teach very nicely.”OR “I like the way you dance.”● You can also say something good about what the person has. For example, you can say:“You have a beautiful bag.”OR“I like your tie.”

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Now read the sentences below. Which ones are good things to say to someone? Tick them.

❑ You have a terrible voice.❑ You dance very well.❑ I like the way you talk.❑ You smell bad.❑ I hate you.❑ You have beautiful eyes.❑ Your nose is too big.❑ You are such a nice person.❑ You are stupid.❑ Thank you.

ProjectTake a clean sheet of paper. Write on it the names of all your classmates.Then beside each name, write a sentence saying something good about that person. Think and write. Remember that there is always something good about every person.Now, when you have completed the writing, go to the front of the class and read it out.

Roshan, I like your jokes.

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Application

Make a list of five good habits that you want to have. Read out the list in front of the whole class. Then stick the list on the wall in your bedroom. Let your parents also know about your list.

Now that everyone knows about your list of good habits, it’s time to follow them. Yes, follow those habits every day for 30 days.

Why only 30 days? It’s because after 30 days, you won’t have to think about doing those habits. They will become a part of you. You’ll do them naturally.

It takes only 30 days to form a new habit.

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Rights and ResponsibilitiesUnderstanding my rights and responsibilities

4Rights are things that you should always expect to have. For example, you have the right to feel safe, the right to a place to live, the right to have enough to eat, and the right to an education. Along with these rights, you also have responsibilities.

Here are some examples:

● You have the right to feel safe, and you have the responsibility not to do things that may hurt you or others.

● You have the right to have a place to live, and you have the responsibility to keep your room clean and to help around the house.

● You have the right to have enough to eat, and you have the responsibility to yourself to eat things that are good for you.

● You have the right to an education, and you have the responsibility to use the opportunity wisely and work hard in school.

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Everyone can learn to be more responsible by:

✔ Using their own resources and judgment to make

decisions

✔ Acting independently

✔ Considering the effect of their actions on others

✔ Meeting their own needs without disregarding the

needs of others

✔ Finding positive solutions to their problems

What’s’ wrong?Look at the pictures below. Can you tell what’s wrong?

These children are not getting their rights. Can you tell what right they’re not getting? Who is not giving them their rights? How can they get their rights? Discuss with your teacher.

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Look at the pictures below. Tell who is being responsible and who is not.

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Clean the board.

Clean the desk and benches.

Put the rubbish in

the dustbin.

Give a talk in front of the class.

Help your friend with

his/her work.

Put away play

equipment.

Help the teacher to carry the books and notebooks.

Pick up rubbish lying

on the ground.

Write the routine in the diary.

Water the plants.

My special jobsA. Look at all the jobs posted on the board below. Tick the ones that you have done at school.

B. Is there any other special job that you have done at school? Write it in the blank space on the board.

Even though I’m a kid, I have special jobs

to do. Taking care of my job makes me

responsible. I feel nice when I’m responsible.

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C. Some jobs have to be done every day. Some jobs we only have to do sometimes. Write two jobs that you do every day.

1. At school _____________ _____________

2. At home _____________ _____________

D. Make a list of special jobs that you do at home.

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ApplicationThink of a special job that you have never done at home or at school that you would like to do. If you do this job, you know that your teacher or parents will be very happy.

What job is it? Write it in the notepad below.

Now, think of a good time to do this job. Then do it.

You’ll feel good, and you’ll make your teacher or parents happy.

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God will save meWhen to pray and when to work

5Hello, my name is Rohit. I live in Sri Lanka. I pray to God every day. I pray in the morning after I wake up and at night before I go to sleep. I ask God to take care of me.

Besides praying, I go to school, study, play and help my mother. I do not sit and say, “God, please make me wise.” Instead, I listen to my teachers and parents, and study many books to become wise.I do not say, “God, make me healthy.” Rather, I exercise every day and eat hygienic food to become healthy.I also do not say, “God, please complete my homework.” I do my homework every day. If I do not understand something, I ask my parents or my elder brother.

What about you? How often do you pray? What do you pray for? What time of the day do you pray?

I had a neighbour who also liked to pray. But he prayed too much. He prayed every time. One day a big flood came. I was saved. I got into a boat that came for rescue. Sadly, my neighbour died. I will tell you how and why he died.My neighbour’s name was Jimmy. He was a firm believer in God. He kept praying all the time. He would pray in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening and even at night. Whenever he wanted something he’d say, “God will give it to me.” He never worked.

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One day there was a big flood. Houses were full of water. Even our house was full of water. Many people drowned. At that time, Jimmy got up on top of the house and started praying to God.

Many men of his age went to save other people. Many of them swam to save themselves. But, Jimmy was praying, “God, please save me.”

While he was praying, a man came and told him, “Come, I will save you. I know how to swim so I will carry you to a safe place.” But, Jimmy replied, “No, God will save me.”

After some time, a boat full of people came. I was also in the boat. Someone said, “Come, get into the boat. We will all be saved.” But, Jimmy replied, “No, God will save me. You all go.”

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Then, at last, a helicopter lowered itself. The captain in the helicopter said, “Come inside the helicopter. You will be saved.” But, Jimmy again replied, “No, God will save me.”

The water had slowly started to reach higher and higher. Jimmy

didn’t know how to swim. So, he drowned.

When he died he reached the house of God.

In the house of God, he met God and asked, “Why didn’t you save me when I prayed for you?”

Then God politely replied, “Of course, I tried to save you. I sent a man, a boat and a helicopter to save you. But you sent them all away.”

God helps us all. Most of the times, He helps us through other people. We must always understand this. We should pray but also understand when God is trying to help us.

A. Answer the following questions.

1. What did Jimmy do when he wanted something?

2. What did Jimmy do when there was a big flood in his town?

3. Why did he refuse to be saved by the man, the boat and the helicopter?

4. What happened to Jimmy in the end?

5. What did God tell him?

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B. Circle the correct word or phrase.

1. Jimmy was not _____________

lazy believer of God hard-working

2. _____________ did not come to save Jimmy.

a boat a helicopter an angel

3. Jimmy _____________ to be saved by God.

worked prayed shouted

4. Flood brings lots of _____________

wind fire water

Group workYou work to achieve most things in life. But sometimes your hard work may not be enough. During those times, you pray to God.

Now, sit in groups and discuss about the following situations. Discuss what you will do in each situation—will you pray to God or do something about it? Sometimes it is a good idea to work and pray to God at the same time. Here are the situations:

a. You have a maths test tomorrow.

b. Your old grandpa is very ill and he is taken to hospital.

c. You get lost in a busy street.

d. You want a new bicycle.

e. You forgot to bring your homework today.

f. You want to win the school race.

g. Your elder sister is very sad and angry.

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How often do you get angry? Do small things make you angry? And when in anger do you feel like a horse is running in your chest? Maybe you feel like shouting out loud, banging the door, or throwing stuffs at people.

Anger never benefits anyone. It hurts you and

the person you are angry with. When you say things in anger, you leave a hole in other people’s heart. Therefore, it is a good thing to learn how to control our anger before it gets out of control.

Let us now learn different ways to control anger. You can choose what works best for you.

It is not a good idea to keep the anger within you. It will hurt you more. Thus, you should let out your anger without hurting yourself or anybody else. You can do any of the following to let out your anger.

1 TALK IT OUT. Talk to your parents or teacher about your anger. You can even tell your friend about how angry you

feel. When you tell someone about your anger, they can help you to calm down.

How to control angerLessons in anger management

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2WRITE IT OUT. You can keep a diary to write about your feelings. You can write

down whatever you feel like in the diary. The diary won’t get hurt and you will be letting out your anger out of yourself.

3SCREAM AND PUNCH. You can go into an empty room and scream out really loud. You could

scream into your pillow or punch your pillow a couple of times.

4 BE CREATIVE. You can write, paint or make something out of paper when you

are angry. It helps to cool you down.

5RELAX. Listen to peaceful music. Count backwards from 10 to 1 and take a deep

breath.

6BE ACTIVE. You can exercise, run for sometime or play some sport when you

are angry. It takes your mind away from anger and cools you down.

A. Answer the following questions.1. List six ways of controlling anger.

2. Which one do you think is the best way for you to control anger?

3. What kind of music should you listen to when you are angry?

4. How can you be creative when you are angry?

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B. Match the following.

a. Talk to

b. Write down

c. Scream into and punch

d. Be active

e. Relax

DiscussionYou just learned the ways to manage anger. It is now time to share with your friends.

Everyone in the class will write down how they manage their anger. It can be the methods which have been discussed in the chapter or it could be something different.

Write down what you do when you are angry. Also write down how you feel later on.

Now go to the front of the class and read out loud what you have written.

❑ your pillow.

❑ exercise and play.

❑ count to ten and take a deep breath.

❑ your parents or teacher.

❑ in your diary.

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