Clitheroe: A BaRKCRound Five: Renaisse

m. How to put this.

It’s not so much that I mind not becoming nobility. That’s no biggie. Even if I did, the kid’s got his eye on another girl who’s most definitely not the princess, he wouldn’t be happy being king.

I don’t care about that. I’m just kinda frustrated that Imelda got it.

Would you believe she’s already been over to gloat? Said she was visiting everyone to “make sure we’re settled in” because it’s her big “responsibility” or some crap. She’s looking pretty gray and creaky too, and serves her right.

But hey, I’m getting ahead of myself. Rewind! There’s lots happened this week long before Sunday’s proclama-bomb-thing.

Howard’s still pretty devoted to your worship, your royal godliness. This is when he hailed you when he got promoted to executive assistant on Monday, you know.

Darion’s a regular social butterfly, constantly bringing friends home from school even when he was a shortstuff. He’s always hanging out in front of the TV with ‘em.

R.A. Incidentally, this little townie girl has a really nice hairstyle. Good taste.

And then there’s my little girl. Kiya became a child, with fantastic fashion sense, by the way. No need for us to go to that Lariel store this birthday, that’s for sure.

Well, we all know that pregnancy is not my most favorite thing in the world. Still, I try to stop to play with Ki, even when I’m in kinda dramatic need of alone time.

Luckily, I wasn’t pregnant for all that long this round, since I popped at the end of the last one. And I promise, this is our last one. Forever.

This is my second baby girl, Lira. You know, I can’t explain it, but somehow all the kids are kinda favoring my end of the skintone scale, you know what I mean?

Family dinner. Need a bigger table.

Darion the Troublemaker. The kid definitely marches to the beat of his own drum. We try to encourage the rowdiness a little bit. Makes life more interesting, and besides, kids shouldn’t be stifled.

Now see, this made me feel old, the day the kid became not a kid. My little man. His best friend Galain is a day older than he is, so he even got to come over and watch and hang out after the cake. Finally, a birthday that wasn’t depressingly just family.

I didn’t know at this point that Galain was gonna get engaged to the princess and inflate his mommy’s head. Still, I guess I can’t hold his last name against him. He’s a good kid.

It was incredible, though. A little miracle. Somehow, when the kid started growing armpit hair, his eyes magically corrected themselves!

R.A. A miracle, also known as getting tired of the mirrored glasses look. But shh, it’s magic!

Well, then. Since I didn’t get any work done at all on the Flower Lady last round, I decided that was going to be my goal this round. It was time to get that gold flower badge, and buckle down with the store. So I packed up my flower station, left the men to care for the kids, and went out to do that.

I was super excited too, as you can plainly see. I put this pic in because the only view I got of the store was in super thick snow, so yeah. Spring shot. Lots of puddles; it just rained.

I didn’t actually open for a little while. See, the goal to begin with was to get to the point that I could sell snapdragons, you know? And so I focused on the badge. I arranged flowers till I couldn’t anymore, then I went back to the old homestead to take a nap and pick up Howard. Now that the kid’s a teenager and all, that meant I could leave him home with the kidlets to babysit, you know.

So while I worked on that stupidly difficult badge, Howard hung out in the front yard, digging up treasure to fund me doing it. I wasn’t selling any of my arrangements because, you know, I can sell them for a whole lot more in the store, so yeah, we started running short on moolah pretty quick.

He actually got us a sweet little nest egg doing that. Who knew taking a shovel to some dirt could be so profitable?

So then when we were both too tired and sweaty and crampy to carry on, we just went out on a little datelet. By the end, we were energized, or at least happy enough to hop in the energizer. Win-win!

Now this was a close call. Howard was just getting out of the tent one night when a stray bolt of lightning hit him! For a second there, I thought I was going to lose him. He was so hungry, he wouldn’t even stay in the energizer, for Pete’s sake. He finally stayed long enough to get jolted back to life, though.

Thank goodness he didn’t die. At this point, I don’t know what I’d do without the guy.

And then, at long last, a little over a hundred bouquets later, we’d done it. I can’t tell you the sheer joy of that moment, when I first inhaled the soothing pollen of my first snapdragon bouquet. What a thrill.

So started Part Two of Dienda’s Brilliant Master Plan: actually opening the store.

But you know, I can’t help but feel like this would be easier with a third employee. Hm… how would you like a job, Queenie?

R.A. Hahahaha no. And don’t call me that.

Oh hey, guess who I met while we were out at the Flower Lady? Yeah, Hollitha Harveight, my new neighbor! She seems pretty cool. Talks about her husband a little too much, but cool.

So. Guess what rank the Flower Lady is now? That’s right, rank ten. Who’s the master? I’m the master! And thanks to the weirdo time-bending thing that happens on community lots, it’s only Wednesday!

I happen to know Lady Lariel didn’t manage to get her clothes shop to max until Friday. Perhaps I should be generous and share some of my snapdragons with her.

Naaaaah!

You know, come to think of it… doesn’t this make us Renaisses merchants now?

R.A. Actually it does. Congratulations, you beat the Lariels to it. And there’s no way I’m going to be telling Imelda that.

Of course, we had to give the Flower Lady a makeover before we left. Now she actually looks like a flower shop!

We expanded the stock a little bit on the inside, but what I’m really proud of is the garden out back.

Man was it expensive, but doesn’t it look great? I mean, I can just imagine a bunch of little teenage couples meeting up back here for their dates and cuddling up together on this bench! Ah, I’m satisfied. I have met my goals for this week. Even if I did get a bit riled up about Sunday’s proclamation.

Well, Howie and I shared one last date to celebrate, and then headed back home to check in on the kids. And to brag about all three of my gold badges and Howie’s gold register badge, of course.

Lira needed a bit of attention, but other than that, the kid did pretty well. Good for him.

Well, Howie went off to his “real” job and Darion and Kiya went off to school, which just left me and the littlest one home. So, I took that opportunity to carry her out of the house and do some upgrades.

Hey, remember that fencing I had to sell to buy the Flower Lady? It’s finally back, baby!

And I like it, too. I don’t care what that townie thinks.

The inside is all decorated up, too! Well, except the kids’ bedrooms. Lira’s baby gear is still taking up the room that I’m going to have the girls share, so in the meantime, Kiya’s stuck downstairs with Darion. But once Lira’s a child, we’re going to get those rooms all fixed up. And maybe someday soon, we’ll even have a garden at the house, too!

The kid surprised us with which friend he decided to bring home that afternoon! You know, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the princess smile like that.

R.A. Nonsense! Andi smiles all the time! Just, uh, not really ever in public.

I dunno what they could’ve been talking about in the bathroom, but the kid says they were friends by the time she left. Naturally.

Pretty soon it was time for the littlest one’s birthday!

Haha, Howard. Such a ham.

And that’s my Lira, looking all sleepy in Daddy’s arms. Pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself.

Yup, one more pic. I waited for ages to try and get a smile from her, but nope, she wasn’t having it. This was the closest I got.

Yep, things were looking pretty great. And then Thursday came around.

The kid’s the one who took the call from the king. Howie was just on his way out the door to work. King Ryan actually called each individual household personally to ask if we’d seen you, and to assemble at the palace in search parties.

I don’t mind admitting, we were pretty scared while we were rounding up the kids and heading to the castle. I mean, it was terrifying. Why did our queen suddenly disappear? And for a whole day? What happens if we’re suddenly without a fearless leader? What happens to us?

R.A. Yeah… I’m really sorry about that. I got back fast as I could. Honest. And don’t worry, there’s a line of potential heirs to the throne should something happen to me. You guys were safe.

So you know the story. We all split into search parties—it was me and Howard together, and then the kid joined the teenager party—and then you walked in on us at the end. Still thanking every lucky star in the galaxy for that one.

But you know, it was at the palace that Darion first caught sight of Shannath Lariel.

He won’t say as much to me, but the way he’s been mooning around the house since then, he’s gotta be in love. Love at first sight! Isn’t that romantic?

I don’t have a clue if she feels the same way, but seeing as she’s his best friend’s big sister and all, they’re gonna have a whole lot to talk about if he decides to make his move.

So yeah. I’m super glad the princess didn’t try to pick Darion as her prince. I wanna see where this goes… hehe. I’d give anything to see Imelda’s face when she finds out!

Well, in other news! How about a little word about my older daughter? Kiya generally keeps to herself, but she does seem to be a bit of a daddy’s girl. She likes to run out and hug Howie when he gets home. Usually at the expense of her homework, but hey. It’s sweet. I’ll let it be.

I hear her tub pirating sometimes, usually late at night when she thinks everyone else is asleep. That’s my girl.

You know, the kid tends to spend a lot of time in front of mirrors, and he likes to act all cool, but then I catch him doing stuff like this.

Howie, getting promoted to field sales representative. Doesn’t he look so excited?

The kid went out and bought a cell phone in the latter end of the round, and boy oh boy, did he use that thing. Started calling Galain at all hours of the night just to chat.

When did my kids become such night owls? Really! Just because I am…

Bahaha… the kid doesn’t know I caught him making kissy faces in the mirror. And now I have blackmail pictures for life… ahahaha.

And now he’s a junior executive. Hooray.

R.A. You guys are lucky you worked so hard and became merchants before the stricter rules kicked in. The Business track is way out of a peasant’s league.

Guess who finally became a child? Hooray! All of my kids are out of diapers!

And they all have superior fashion sense! Hooray! I don’t have to go butt heads with Imelda and her ridiculous prices! Hooray huzzah!

Family dinner: take two. Now four of us can sit at the same time instead of two.

Well, it’s official. Kiya is definitely my daughter.

R.A. Hey… come to think of it, this may be the first time I’ve actually gotten a picture of a child sliding down the banister… coooool!

Lira so rarely smiles, sometimes I have to take matters into my own hands…

Sunday morning, right before the big Bombshell That Changed Everything (BTCE?), the kid threw a party for all his friends in the kingdom… which just happened to be all the teenagers in the kingdom. He even got Shannath there, and spent the whole time alternating between hanging out with Galain and trying to impress his best friend’s sister.

I wonder if Galain’s noticed yet?

Of course, Howie and I chaperoned. I’m always there for my son, you know. Though his little sisters sure felt left out.

Couldn’t help but notice that the normally shy princess and Galain were making eyes at each other, and actually hugged at the party. Didn’t make sense then. It does now, of course.

The party was still going on when the town crier came by. We sent all the teenagers skedaddling home so they could go to court with their parents. Or, you know, in the princess’s case, participate in court with her parents.

Which brings us up to now, with Howard and I not quite knowing what to say. Well, besides what I’ve already said.

You know what? Now I’m going to have to work hard and become a noble myself. That’ll show Imelda. But sheesh, five top level businesses… you sure don’t make it easy, do you, Majesty?

Bunch of night owls. All of ‘em.

Signed,

End of the merchant Renaisse record of Round Five.

P.S. I really resent this, your majesty.

End of the merchant Renaisse record of Round Five.