Clitheroe: A BaRKCRound Four: Renaisse

ell, where to start? Hmmm… how about this slightly terrible conversation I had with Imelda Lariel at the town square? Seems like a good place.

I recognized Imelda from seeing her at the Silver Bobbin, so I decided to go over and talk and make friends. Ha, that turned out well. She was watching her daughter (I guessed), who was having a great time sniffing the flowers, so I approached Imelda with, “Aw, looks like she’s having fun over there. That your daughter?”

“She is,” Imelda said, looking over her shoulder. She sized me up, then said, “Dienda Renaisse?”

Ah, good. That awkward “I know who you are but you don’t know me” thing: averted. “The one and only. Imelda Lariel, right? Nice to meetcha, finally.”

“A pleasure. How are you finding Clitheroe?”

Well, she was a little stiff, but I wouldn’t hold that against her. Answering her question, I said, “Oh, it’s pretty great so far. Exhausting, but pretty great. In fact, I already…”

A familiar little red streak was darting past me and Imelda. I laughed. “Hold on, let me catch the kid.”

I headed Darion off, and bent down to pick him up. “Hold up there, buddy,” I told him teasingly, “what’re you doing all the way over here? Where’d your daddy go?” Halfway down I got a powerful wave of nausea, so, grimacing, I sat down with him instead. Good enough.

“You… have a son?” I looked up at Imelda, who’d gone all stiff and stuff all of a sudden.

“Sure do! Darion. Isn’t he sweet?” Even though I was a little put off by her change of tone, I kept my voice cheerful.

“Quite. If you’ll excuse me, Mrs. Renaisse. Come, Shannath!” she shouted, and then she just walked off! How rude is that!?

“Darion!” Howard huffed and puffed up behind us, and ducked into the shadow of the clock tower. “Di! You caught him! I swear, I only took my eyes off him for a minute!”

“Yup. The little rascal. Oops! Where’d Mommy go?” Darion giggled and tapped at my arms and nose. Howard laughed and sat down beside us.

He didn’t really get to join in on the play, though, because Queen Keika decided to call us over at that very moment. Dang.

“So Howie… do you think the god-queen is gonna be able to handle all that? I mean, she’s not exactly a god herself anymore, is she?” I said that afternoon after our midday nap.

“Sure,” Howard replied. “That’s what we have a god-queen for, am I right?”

“I guess. I dunno, that guy with the white wings seemed kind of scary. Slightly familiar.”

Howard shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Want some cereal for dinner? I’m buying.”

So anyway. Since I own a flower shop and all, I decided I better start making some stock. I like flower arranging, I decided. It’s relaxing. Not that I got to do much of it this week…

Howie finally got Darion to sit on the toddler potty on his last day as a toddle-by. About time, too. The kid just refused to go in anything but a diaper. It’s like he was saying, “Mom, walking and talking is fine, cool even, but potty-training? That is one step TOO FAR!”

Is this how all kids are? Guess I’ll be finding out.

Cuz we’re doing all this all over again.

Look at the excitement all over my face. That, my friend, is a look of pure joy. No, really. Look at the enthusiasm.

“Journal keeping already?” Howie bent over and peered at what I was writing. “Herein is written the last will and testament of Dienda Renaisse… Di, you’re not going to die!”

“To be pregnant is to die,” I said sagely, with much wise nodding of the head.

He tapped me playfully on the back. “I thought you liked the kid.”

“Of course I do, I love him to pieces.” I shrugged. “Nearly starving to death before he was born? Not so much.”

Would you believe what Howard found in the yard!? Yeah! A chest full of snow!

Dangit. I had all these plans to throw a big party for the kid on this birthday, but when it came time, even I didn’t make it. I was starving and exhausted from being pregnant and spent his transition in bed!

Come to think of it, I don’t know how many other kids I could’ve invited. I dunno if Imelda would’ve let her kids come over… I don’t think she likes me, no idea why… and the only other one in the whole neighborhood is the crown princess. I bet she would’ve come and had a blast, though.

So yeah, here’s my little man. Boy, did his hair grow out or what! I love the glasses, though. He’s my dashing little boy. In more ways than one, in this picture. Get it? See what I did there?

R.A. You’re very funny, Dienda. Ha ha.

I might have to think about finding new clothes for him, but for now, those match.

Would you believe that the kid slept in and missed the school bus on his very first day? We had to bundle him up in his winter gear and send him walking to school!

You know, I wonder if he did it on purpose?

Naaaaaaah.

My second pop. Just one more day left, as of now. I was feeling pretty apprehensive at this point, since this is when everything went sour last time. Course, I’d already had one close run-in with starvation this pregnancy already, sooo…

I wonder if Imelda knows her son Galain came home with my Darion Wednesday afternoon?

The boys sure had a good time, though. Played rock, paper, scissors for hours. And you know what else? Galain is a heck of a lot better at it than Darion is!

Howie accepted some kind of job in the newspaper. Apparently, Queen Keika is looking for some kind of, I dunno, businessman…? Whatever. It gives us more money, and I guess that’s really all that matters.

R.A. Well… I was hoping to put Imelda Lariel in the business track, but then Howard here went and found it in the newspaper before she did while he was looking for something else… first come first serve, I say!

Well… at least this pregnancy wasn’t as bad as the last one. I’ll take what I can get.

At least it’s over.

And guess what? We even got the little girl the queen kept saying we needed!

R.A. Two words, Dienda: matriarchal primogeniture.

This new kid (gosh, I’m gonna have to come up with a separate nickname for her) is called Kiya. And, I thought when I held her up, she is the last one… forever. Couldn’t help but grin.

The kid kept in touch with Galain over the phone the rest of the round. Those two’re becoming pretty good friends, I think. Though I can’t figure out what in the world’s going on with Darion’s glasses. What, did they get mirrored or something? Spiffy.

Howard’s still pretty much the bee’s knees, by the way.

We’re still doing pretty good, as it happens. I know, I know our marriage didn’t exactly start the way the queen and Imelda Lariel’s did, but you know. Howard and I, we’re a team. A pretty great one, too.

Turns out the kid and his mirrored glasses’re already a hit with the ladies. This here is Brandi Leive, one of the townie girls. Poor girl lives in rags.

And here’s our little girl, who doesn’t live in rags!

Wait, hold on. I’ve got a better picture of her here somewhere…

Aha, there she is. That’s my Kiya.

Saturday morning, word came around that the princess was holding a ball. Sweet, I’m always up for a party. The kid was pretty excited about it, especially the idea of getting dressed up all fancy.

Normally I would get really, super excited about this kind of thing too, but lately, uh…

…I’m, um, not feeling that great.

Yeeeeaaaaah… this happened.

Oh, well. I do like kids.

And maybe this pregnancy won’t try and kill me. Sure. It hasn’t so far, at least.

Sunday afternoon in front of the TV. The kid didn’t take the news of having a new sibling all that well.

“Is it at least gonna be a brother?” he demanded, throwing up his hands. “Girls are stinky.”

“You just remember that when you’re a teenager, son,” Howie laughed.

Welp, someone had to stay home with the little one, and I was feeling pretty sick anyway, so I sent the men in my life off to the princess’s ball without me. Major bummer. If it weren’t for the fact I was eating everything in the house to stay alive, I would totally have called one of the townie nannies down here to watch Kiya.

Howard was pretty sorry about it. I guess I can forgive them having fun without me.

`Specially since he brought me home a dozen roses.

Which reminds me. I own a flower shop, don’t I?

R.A. Yes, Dienda. Yes, you do. I guess I can forgive you this round for not opening it, though… you were kind of busy.

So yeah, that about covers it for the round, your supremely magnificient majestic divine majesty lady. So, whatever happened with those gods in the town square?

Signed,

End of the Renaisse record of Round Four.