Chapter 9, Marriage, A Private and Public...

Chapter 7

Marriage: From Social Institution to

Private Relationship

Chapter Outline

Marital Status: The Changing Picture

The Time-Honored Marriage Premise:

Permanence and Sexual Exclusivity

From “Yoke Mates” to “Soul Mates” - A

Changing Marriage Premise

Deinstitutionalized Marriage

Chapter Outline

Individualized Marriage and the

Postmodern Family - Decline or Inevitable

Change?

Valuing Marriage- The Policy Debate

Happiness and Life Satisfaction: How

Does Marriage Matter?

Marital Satisfaction and Choices

Throughout Life

Marital Status:

The Changing Picture

The proportion of Americans age 18 and over

who are married has declined significantly in

the last 50 years-from 72 percent in 1960 to

between 51 and 56 percent in 2010. People

are also much more likely to be older at age of

first marriage.

Two major reasons account for this shift:

economic conditions and an increasing desire

to find love in a marriage relationship.

Weddings

Marking a couple’s

commitment,

weddings are public

events because the

community has a

stake in marriage as

a social institution.



Expectations of permanence derive from

the fact that historically marriage was a

practical institution.

In the United States today, marriage

seldom involves merging two families’

properties.

Providing love and ongoing emotional

support has become key for most people.



Marriage in the United States legally requires monogamy, along with expectations of sexual exclusivity, in which spouses promise to have sexual relations only with each other.

Expectations of sexual exclusivity have broadened to include expectations of emotional centrality, or putting one’s partner first.

Issues for Thought: Three Very

Different Subcultures with Norms

Contrary to Sexual Exclusivity

Polygamy: having more than 1 spouse

Polyamory: “many loves”

Swinging: exchange partners for sex

Polygamy

Polygamy has been illegal in the United States

since 1878, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled

that freedom to practice the Mormon religion did

not extend to having multiple wives.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

no longer permits polygamy.

Some dissident Mormons follow the traditional

teachings and take multiple wives.

Polyamory

Polyamory refers to marriages in which one or

both spouses retain the option to sexually love

others in addition to their spouse.

Polyamorous spouses agree to openly

acknowledge sexual relationships with others

while keeping the marriage relationship primary.

The Polyamory Society’s Children Educational

Branch offers advice for polyamorous parents

and maintains a PolyFamily scholarship fund.

Swinging

Swinging is a marriage arrangement in

which couples exchange partners in order

to engage in purely recreational sex.

It has been estimated that there are now

about 3 million married swingers in the

United States, an increase of about one

million since 1990.

Types of

Agreements

Regarding Sex

Outside the

Relationship,

1975 and 2000

From “Yoke Mates” to “Soul Mates”

— A Changing Marriage Premise

Individualism and Collectivism

In individualistic societies, one’s own self-

actualization and interests are a valid

concern.

In collectivist societies, people identify

with and conform to the expectations of

their extended kin.



Individualist Orientation and Marriage

With regard to marriage, an individualist

orientation resulted in three developments:

1. The authority of kin and extended family

weakened.

2. Individuals began to find their own marriage

partners.

3. Romantic love came to be associated with

marriage.



Weakened Kinship Authority

Kin includes parents and other relatives, such

as in-laws, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and

cousins.

In Western societies, kinship authority is weak.

Sociologist Talcott Parsons noted that in the

American kinship system married people are

members of their family of orientation and their

family of procreation.



Arranged marriage has characterized

collectivist societies.

It is only recently that love has become

associated with marriage, especially with

the newly developing middle classes.

Deinstitutionalization of

Marriage

A situation in which time-honored family

definitions and social norms count for far

less than in the past.

E.g., childbearing outside of marriage

Marriages have shifted from institutional

to compassionate to individualized

Institutional Marriage

Institutional marriage: A social institution based on dutiful adherence to the time honored marriage premise, particularly the norm of permanence

Family organized around economic production, kinship network, community connections, the father’s authority, and marriage as a functional partnership

The Institutional

Marriage Bond

Couples are “yoked” together by high

expectations for permanence, bolstered by the

strong social control of extended kin and

community.

The Companionate Marriage

Bond

Couples are bound

together by

companionship, coupled

with a gendered division

of labor, pride in

performing spousal and

parenting roles, and

hopes for “the American

dream”—a home of their

own and a comfortable

domestic life together.

Individualized Marriage

Four interrelated characteristics distinguish individualized marriage:

1. It is optional.

2. Spouses’ roles are flexible—negotiable and renegotiable.

3. Its expected rewards involve love, communication and emotional intimacy.

4. It exists in conjunction with a vast diversity of family forms.

The Individualized Marriage

Bond

Spouses in individualized

marriages remain

together because they

find self actualization,

intimacy, and

expressively

communicated emotional

support in their unions.


Postmodern Family—

Decline or Inevitable Change?

A Decline View

Individualism has caused moral

weakening and self-indulgence and as a

result are less likely to choose marriage,

are more likely to divorce, and are less

child-centered


Postmodern Family—

Decline or Inevitable Change?

A Change View

Nostalgia about the “good old days”

leads to incorrect assumptions.

For example, large families with many

children and higher death rates for

parents with young children meant many

children were not raised in two-parent

households.

Deinstitutionalized Marriage:

Examining the Consequences

Demographer Linda Waite compared

married and unmarried households and

reported that spouses:

1. Had greater wealth and assets.

2. Earned higher wages.

3. Had more frequent and better sex.

4. Had overall better health.



Demographer Linda Waite reported that

spouses:

5. Were less likely to engage in risk-taking.

6. Had fewer alcohol-related problems.

7. Had lower rates of marijuana use.

8. Were more likely to engage in healthy

behaviors.



Waite found that children in married families:

Were about half as likely to drop out of high

school.

Reported more frequent contact and better-

quality relationships with their parents.

Were significantly less likely to live in poverty.

Median Income by Types of

Family, 1990-2009

Selection Hypothesis

Posits that many of the benefits

associated with marriage are due to the

personal characteristics of those who

choose to marry.

The experience hypothesis holds that

the experience of being married itself

causes these benefits.

Causal Order: Experience Hypothesis,

Selection Hypothesis

Child Outcomes and Marital

Status: Does Marriage

Matter? The proportion of children under 18 living with

two married parents declined steadily over the

past 40 years.

Considerable research supports the overall

conclusion that growing up with married

parents is better.

However, this is a complex relationship

mediated by several factors

Jumping the Broom

Although controversial

because it can be a

reminder of slavery,

jumping the broom at

African American

weddings is going

through some revival as

couples plan wedding

rituals that incorporate

their cultural heritage

A Closer Look at Diversity

With 43% of black men and 36% of black

women currently married—African

Americans are less likely to be wed than

are other U.S. racial/ethnic groups.

The reasons for these low rates are

structural-cultural in nature.

African American families are increasingly

divided between a middle class that has

benefited from the civil rights movement

and a sector that remains disadvantaged.

Valuing Marriage — The

Policy Debate

From a change perspective, policy advocates

view poverty as causing environments with

negative consequences

From a decline perspective, there are concerns

about “family breakdown” which includes the

amount of money spent on “welfare for poverty-

level single mothers, along with the

irresponsible socialization of children”

Policies from a Decline

Perspective: Covenant

Marriage A type of legal marriage in which partners agree

to be bound by a marriage “covenant”

Three states have enacted covenant marriage

laws — Louisiana, Arizona, and Arkansas.

Couples are required to get premarital

counseling and may divorce only after being

separated for two years or if imprisonment,

desertion for one year, adultery, or domestic

abuse is proved in court.


Perspective: Government

Initiatives Federal law that authorized the Temporary

Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program and has the following goals:

1. End the dependence of parents on government benefits by promoting job preparation, work, and marriage.

2. Prevent and reduce out-of-wedlock births.

3. Encourage the formation and maintenance of two parent families

Healthy Marriage Initiative

Introduced by President Bush in 2004.

From a total of $1.5 billion in federal monies, states were allotted funds to create state marriage initiatives, characterized by workshops on listening, communication, and problem-solving skills, as well as presentations on the value of marriage.

The programs appear to produce at least short-term improvements in communication and problem solving.

Criticisms of the Healthy

Marriage Initiative

1. Many low-income Americans value marriage, but marriage is a difficult goal to achieve.

2. Remaining unmarried may be the most rational decision for many low-income women.

3. If TANF recipients marry, many of their unions are unlikely to look like the “good marriages” envisioned by the Healthy Marriage Initiative.

4. Relieving poverty will require solutions in addition to the Healthy Marriage Initiative.


Perspective: Marriage and Poverty

14.7% of white, 16.8% of Asian, 34.8% of

African American, and 34% of Hispanic

children live in poverty.

Consequences include: malnutrition;

unhealthy neighborhoods; increased

physical , socioemotional, and behavioral

problems; less academic success; and

increased exposure to violence.



More than 14.7 million U.S. children under

age 18 live at or below poverty.

Children comprise 36% of the poor.

Millions more live in “near poor”

conditions (125% of poverty level).

Residing with married parents does

significantly lessen the likelihood of

growing up in poverty.

U.S Families Below Poverty Level



U.S. Poverty Rate for Children Under Age

18, 1959-2011.

Policies from a Family Change

Perspective

Policy makers in this camp propose

structural solutions such as support for

education, job training, drug rehabilitation,

improved job opportunities, neighborhood

improvements, small business

development, and parenting skills

education.

Happiness, Well-Being, and Life

Satisfaction: How Does

Marriage Matter?

Both husbands and wives are far more likely

than others to say they are “very happy”

Reasons for this include:

Economy of scale

Enhanced social support

Offered continuity

Marital Satisfaction and

Choices Throughout Life

Preparation for Marriage

Family life courses and premarital counseling

provide guidance and skills for marriage and

family

Research shows they do improve

communication skills and relationship quality

at least in the short term

Success also depends on the personality

traits of the individual and the couple

characteristics

Age at Marriage, Marital

Stability, and Satisfaction

Median age at first marriage today is about 26

for women and 28 for men.

Odds of marital stability increase with age at

marriage.

Marriages occurring today, when spouses are

between ages of 22 and 25, are most likely to

be not only stable but also happy.

Spouses who first married after age 30 reported

lower marital satisfaction.

The First Years of Marriage

First years of marriage tend to be the happiest,

with gradual declines in marital satisfaction

afterward.

Three main, potentially problematic topics for

couples in first marriages:

Money

Sexual frequency

Agreeing on how to spend time together

Creating Couple Connection

Keep relationship a high priority.

Marriage is happier when both spouses

work.

Supportive and positive communication.

Enjoy leisure activities together.

Consciously and continuously strive to

maintain intimacy.

Chapter 9, Marriage, A Private and Public...

Documents

Transcript of Chapter 9, Marriage, A Private and Public...