Chapter 3Lessons 1,2,3

Achieving Mental & Emotional Health-Self Esteem

-Character & Personal Identity-Emotions

-Anger Management

“A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain.”

(C) Chris Le Baudour – Used by permission

Some Key Terms…

Ethics – refers to principles that define behavior as right, good and proper.

Making Ethical Decisions, Wes Hanson

Such principles do not always dictate a single Such principles do not always dictate a single “moral’ course of action, but provide a means of “moral’ course of action, but provide a means of evaluating and deciding among competing options.evaluating and deciding among competing options.

(C) Chris Le Baudour – Used by permission

Some Key Terms…

Values – The inner judgments or beliefs that determine how a person actually behaves

The terms “The terms “EthicsEthics” and “” and “ValuesValues” ” are are NOTNOT interchangeable. interchangeable.

(C) Chris Le Baudour – Used by permission

Let’s Boil it Down Some More…

Ethics = BehaviorBehavior

Values = Values = BeliefsBeliefs

WHAT DOES THIS QUOTE MEAN TO YOU?

The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.” ― Abigail Van Buren

Values – ideas, beliefs, and attitudes about what is import and guide the way you live.

Accountability – taking ownership actions, choices, and outcomes

Integrity – firm observance of core ethical values

Respect – treating yourself, other people, your school, and property with care and dignity

Paying it forward

Achievement Friendships Physical challenge

Advancement and promotion Growth Pleasure

Adventure Having a family Power and authority

Affection (love and caring) Helping other people Privacy

Arts Helping society Public service

Challenging problems Honesty Purity

Change and variety Independence Quality of what I take part in

Close relationships Influencing others Quality relationships

Community Inner harmonyRecognition (respect from others, status)

Competence Integrity Religion

Competition Intellectual status Reputation

Cooperation Involvement Responsibility and accountability

Country Job tranquility Security

Creativity Knowledge Self-Respect

Decisiveness Leadership Serenity

Democracy Location Sophistication

Ecological awareness Loyalty Stability

Economic security Market position Status

Effectiveness Meaningful work Supervising others

Efficiency Merit Time freedom

Ethical practice Money Truth

Excellence Nature Wealth

Excitementbeing around people whoare open and honest

Wisdom

FameOrder (tranquility,stability, conformity)

Work under pressure

Fast living Personal development Work with others

Financial gain Freedom Working alone

Pick 10 that are most important to you and how you behave

Imagine you can only keep 5, cross off the 5 that are least important to you.

Now imagine that you are only permitted four. Which would you give up? Cross it off.

Now cross off another, to bring our list down to three.

And another, to bring our list down to two.

Finally cross off one of your two values. Which is the one item on the list that you care most about?

Elimination

DO NOW: Rate Values 1 - 5 1 not important- 5 very important1.Give 100% in everything I do.2.To be honest.3.To make lots of money.4.To be respectful to my parents.5.To have a positive outlook.6.To try new things.7.To be healthy.8.To get the most out of everyday.9.To be respected by my friends.10.To do well in school.11.To do well in activities I enjoy.

Character- qualities that describe how a person thinks, feels, and behaves

How could YOU demonstrate good character?

6 Common Traits of Character

1) Trustworthiness

2) Respect

3) Responsibility

4) Fairness

5) Caring

6) Citizenship

Define TERMS

1) Trustworthiness – honest, loyal, reliable,

2) Respect – considerate others and except differences

3) Responsibility – use self control, think before you act, consider consequences

4) Fairness – play by rules, share, take turns

5) Caring – kind & compassionate

6) Citizenship – take interest in world around you

- FIRST NAME TOP (BIG)

- #1 Character Trait CENTER (BIG)

- Draw Three pictures how you show that trait.

- Name & Last Name on BACK

Value Wall

Self Actualization – being the best you can

Physical

Safety

Love & Friendship

Self Worth - important, capable, confident. , recognized, self esteem & self respect

Self Fulfillment- inner talent, creativity

Personality – complex set of characteristics that makes you unique

Influences:1) Heredity 2) Environment

Modeling- observing & learning from the people around you

Role Model – Someone whose success or behavior serves as an example for you

The Man In The Glass  Peter Dale Wimbrow  

When you get what you want in your struggle for selfAnd the world makes you king for a dayJust go to the mirror and look at yourselfAnd see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife Whose judgment upon you must passThe fellow whose verdict counts most in your lifeIs the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the restFor he’s with you, clear to the endAnd you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous testIf the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of yearsAnd get pats on the back as you passBut your final reward will be heartache and tearsIf you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Brains Works

Riding Bike

Self-Esteem

Training an Elephant

Brain and Self-Esteem (failures)

Are the following traits an example of high or low self esteem?

How many describe you?

High or Low Self-Esteem

1. Fears change or trying new things.2. Take responsibility for one’s actions &

mistakes3. Able to take charge and show leadership4. Aware and accepting of one’s own strengths &

weakness5. Unable to show leadership, follows others6. When victimized remains victim does not

overcome situation7. Accepts change and is eager to accept new

things.8. Has self respect and self confidence9. Always criticizes self or blames others10.Gets approval from self and does not depend

on others.11.Tends to find the negative in things, people,

and situations

Self Esteem – how much you value, respect, and feel confident about yourself

Personal identity – your sense of yourself as a unique

John Foppe Video

“I am unique……I am of great worth.”

John F Video – Self-Esteem (Personal Identity)

Form Positive Self-Esteem/Personal Identity

Strengths & weaknesses

Positive values

Goals

Meaningful relationships

Constructive criticism – non- hostile comments that encourage improvement

Self-talk – say good things about yourself

Emotions – signals that tell your mind and body how to react

Types Emotions-Anger - Fear - Love - Guilt

- Happiness Empathy – understand how someone feels

Emotions

Learning how to deal with

emotions can reduce violence

Hostility – intentional use of unfriendly or offensive behavior

720,000 (10-24) tr

eated

in ER because of

VIOLENCE

Defense Mechanism – mental process that protects individuals from strong emotions

Repression- Involuntary pushing feelings out of thought

Suppression- Voluntary …………

Regression- acting like a child

These will help for the short term but eventually a

person needs to work through emotion

Projection- blaming others for your emotion Denial- unconscious lack of

acknowledgement obvious to others Rationalization – giving another

interpretation Compensation- making up for weakness by

giving gifts

“He who angers you conquers you.”~Elizabeth Kenny

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. ”

~Eckhart Tolle

ANGER QUOTES

Anger is a very powerful emotion. It is every bit as normal as falling in love.

No one can make us angry, we make ourselves angry.

Anger is a result of unmet expectations or need.

ANGER

Answer Each Questions with a score of

0- means the item is never of rarely true for you

1 – means it is sometimes true

2- means that the item is almost always true for you

WHAT IS YOUR ANGER STYLE?

1. I am blunt and forceful when things don’t go my way. 2. I avoid or withdraw from people when I am angry with them. 3. I complain about people behind their back, but not to their face. 4. I disagree with others without attacking them or becoming defensive. 5. I don’t keep grudges or seek revenge when problems cannot be solved. 6. I don’t like to let other people know when I am angry. 7. I feel like hitting someone who makes me very angry. 8. I don’t like to express my anger. 9. I am depressed or moody. 10. I look for solutions that make everyone happy. 11. I politely, but firmly, tell others when I am angry. 12. I pout and feel sorry for myself when I am angry. 13. I cover my anger by drinking, taking drugs, or overeating. 14. I swear loudly to blow off steam. 15. I take some time to calm down before talking with others. 16. I try not to let my anger show. 17. I use sarcasm and “little jokes or names” to make people look bad or feel bad. 18. If I’m very upset, I’ll hit something. 19. If things are bad enough, I’ll throw something. 20. When I am angry, I become silent to make it obvious that I am unhappy.

Use physical or verbal force to get rid threats

-This is one of your body’s natural reactions to severe stress.

- Physical or verbal force often leads to more anger and problems.

- People who vent their anger through physical or verbal force tend to become more angry, rather than less.

STYLE A – OPEN AGGRESSION

pretend that they are not angry. T- ignore their angry feelings and hope

that they will go away.

- feel uncomfortable expressing anger and don’t want other people to know when they are angry.

- People who manage their anger this way may develop headaches, ulcers, stomachaches, or other illnesses

Style B – Suppressed Anger

show their anger in indirect ways, instead of dealing with the problem head on.

- They often hope the other person will notice that they are angry by pouting, refusing to talk, or giving clues, such as slamming a door or stomping their feet.

- This style also tries to get back at the person by talking about them behind their back, “belittling” him/her, or using sarcasm.

- It often leads to more anger and problems.

Style C – Passive Aggressive

aware of yourself getting angry and control their anger and express it in polite and

honest ways.

- They are able to talk with others without attacking them.

- They listen to other people’s point of view and try to solve problems in ways that meet everyone’s needs.

- They are able to let go of their angry feelings and forgive other people, even when problems cannot be solved.

- They do not carry grudges and are not bitter. - This style promotes good health and strong

relationships

Style D - Assertive Problem Solving

Anger trigger- what causes the anger

Displacement – taking your anger out on something or someone else

Anger Cues- bodily changes during anger

Breathing & sweating increase Hrt & BP increase Dry mouth Decreased sensitivity to pain Increased muscle strength Facial cues (eyebrows, lips, red face)

A – Aware of anger triggers C – Channel your energy different direction T - TALK about the situation

Anger Management Handout

Anger Management Skills

Anger level (1-10 utter rage)

Physical Response: How did your body respond?

What caused anger?

What was you response?

What could have you done differently?

The purposes of doing this "Letter to Self" are:

To provide a record of your life and who you are now

To anchor in time your current views, attitudes, philosophy, and outlook

To explore your feelings and opinions about a variety of issues

To create a document that, years from now, will have significant value to you

• ME, NOW:  my hopes, fears, dreams, intentions, goals, problems, concerns, likes, dislikes, joys, frustrations; what I like about myself; what I don't like about myself; what I'm proud of; what I think about; what bothers me; who I am, etc.

• MY WORLD:  a description of my home, bedroom, school, neighborhood, town; my favorite places to go; chores, allowance, pet(s), possessions, clothes, religion, current events; FAVORITES: books, music groups, movies, TV, etc.  Include a map of your room, street, etc.

• WHAT I DO: my hobbies, pastimes, sports, school activities; what I do when I'm alone; what I do with friends; favorite snacks and foods; chores; how I spend my weekends and vacations; special activities I do, organizations I belong to, etc.

• PEOPLE IN MY LIFE: my family, siblings, aunts and uncles, grandparents, friends, best friend(s), teachers, the opposite sex, "him" or "her," who I like, people I'd like to know better, people I admire and respect, important people in my life, people who annoy me, etc.

• MY FUTURE:  predictions, what I want to do, my long range intentions, what I'm looking forward to; what I'm dreading; my goals, my hopes and fears for the world; summer vacation, high school, college, marriage, employment, etc.