CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include...

32

Transcript of CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include...

Page 1: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;
Page 2: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Modules & Topics Page #

Module 1: Caregiver Self-assessment 1

Module 1: Creative Indifference 2

Modules 1-2: Anger & The 3 F’s of Flipping Out 3-11

Module 3: Guilt 12-13

Module 4: Depression 14-15

Module 5: Grief 16-17

Module 6: Dementia-Related Challenging Behaviors 18-19

Module 7: Caregiver Survival Planner 20-27

Helpful Resources & Websites 28

Caring for an aging, chronically ill, or disabled loved one is one of the most difficult and generous acts of love any of us will ever be called upon to perform. You will do things you never thought you would, or even could do. It is not unusual for caregivers to reach a point of exhaustion that most people cannot even begin to conceive.

In order to maintain the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual strength necessary to perform this job over an extended period of time, it will be important for you to understand that having negative feelings doesn’t make you a bad person, and that taking care of yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your care receiver.

The CaregiverHelp Program will help you recognize and cope with the anger, guilt, depression and grief experienced by most caregivers. It will provide insights into surviving the stress of caring for individuals with dementia-related challenging behaviors, and help you develop a personalized survival plan.

There is nothing that can make the job of caregiving easy or stress free, but once you accept the fact that self-care is not self-centered or selfish, it may be easier for you to understand that in order for you to maintain the physical and emotional strength you need to care for your loved one, you must first learn to care for yourself.

WELCOME TO Caregiver Survival Training

Table of Contents

The modules and topics in this workbook correspond to the Video Courses on the CaregiverHelp.com website.

Page 3: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Caregiver Self-Assessment Check the number of statements that apply to you.

Do this quickly without thinking too much about your response.

It’s hard for me to find time to do things I like to do. I have given up a lot of activities I used to enjoy.

I have trouble sleeping, and I frequently wake up feeling tired and dreading the day ahead.

I feel like I’ve lost touch with a lot of my friends.

I have dropped out of clubs, organizations, and social circles because I just can’t find the time to stay involved.

I have some alarming and/or annoying physical symptoms that I should probably discuss with my doctor.

There are days when I feel very trapped.

I know exercise is good for me, but I just don’t have time to go to a gym or a regularly scheduled class.

I frequently feel angry, frightened, and/or sad. I suspect I may be alittle depressed.

I hesitate to ask family or friends to help because I don’t want to be a burden.

I feel guilty because I get impatient or angry, and sometimes I’ve even wished his/her suffering would just end.

Most days I don’t have the time or energy to take care of myself.

Total the number of statements you checked on this page: _______

If you checked 4 or more statements, it is likely that you are suffering from caregiver burnout. As you go through the pages of this workbook, it will be important for you to remember that in order to take care of another person, you must first learn to take care of yourself.

1Mod 1 - S 1 : Self-Assessment© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 4: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 1 - S 2 : Creative Indifference2

Developing an Attitude of Creative Indifference

The practice of not allowing yourself to become emotionally ravaged

by events or the progression

THREE steps to developing an

Attitude of Creative Indifference

1. Become AWARE of the specific issues that cause you the greatest amount of emotional stress.

2.ACCEPT: You are human and you are coping with situations that are complicated and extremely difficult to manage.

3.ACT! Take charge of the things you can change. Release the things over which you have no power, influence, or control.

Page 5: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

It is not unusual for caregivers to be angry with a variety of people, situations, and events You may be mad at the disease, your care receiver, the medical community, insurance companies, Medicare, Medicaid, friends, family, and coworkers. On the following lines, without stopping to analyze whether you SHOULD feel upset or not, just write down the people, situations, or issues that are currently making you mad.

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

3Mod 2 - S 1 : Caregiver Anger© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Caregiver Anger

Page 6: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

The 3 F’s of Flipping Out

Feeling angry is a normal and predictable reaction to circumstances we cannot control

People who are experiencing

Fatigue • Fear • Frustration are especially prone to losing their tempers

FATIGUE: A state of physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual tiredness

Apply the three steps of Creative Indifference to your feelings of fatigue by completing the following statements:

I am AWARE that I feel mentally and/or physically fatigued when_____________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT that the primary thing wearing me out is _______________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Mod 2 - S 2 : 3 F’s of Flipping Out4 © CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 7: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

I will take Action to manage my fatigue

by implementing one or more of the following strategies:

I will make sure I get enough sleep. If it isn’t possible to sleep at night, I will make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, getting respite care, or finding a different place to rest. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I will cut down on junk food. Instead of grabbing a doughnut or a burger, I will buy individually packaged healthy snacks that don’t require preparation. I will make a conscience effort to put fuel into my body rather than food ladened with sugar, salt, and fat. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I will drink lots and lots of water and cut down on my intake of high energy drinks, coffee, and soft drinks so I can avoid caffeine and sugar crashes. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I will get outside and walk briskly for at least 10 minutes every day. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I will stretch my body and do one breathing exercise at least once a day. I will inhale deeply, filling my abdomen with air while I slowly count to 8. I will hold my breath for a count of 8, and then exhale slowly through my mouth for a count of 8. I will repeat this exercise at least 5 times. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I will also ____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

5Mod 2 - S 2 : 3 F’s of Flipping Out© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 8: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Fear: A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone brought on by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat

Apply the three steps to Creative Indifference to your feelings of fear

I am AWARE that the things that frighten me the most are __________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT that the following events are likely to happen____________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT that the worst possible thing that could happen is _______________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

Controlling Fear

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 2 - S 2 : 3 F’s of Flipping Out6

Page 9: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

When I start thinking fearful thoughts, I will tell myself __________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

I will get prepared for the worst case scenarios by ______________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

I will not allow my fears to dominate my thinking. I will make a conscience effort to control my thoughts.

When I find myself slipping into a pattern of “what if” thinking, I will shift my focus to concentrate on the situations over which I do have some influence or control.

I will accept that the worst possible thing that could happen may happen, and I will take the necessary steps to get prepared.

7Mod 2 - S 2 : 3 F’s of Flipping Out© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

I will take Action to control my Fear by implementing one or more of the following strategies:

Page 10: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Frustration: The agitated feeling that comes from the realization that you have absolutely no control over the behavior of others, the progression of the disease or the eventual outcome

Apply the three steps of Creative Indifference to your feelings of frustration by completing the following statements:

I am AWARE that the most frustrating thing about this situation is ______________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT the fact that this is a difficult and trying circumstance, and I acknowledge that there are going to be moments when I feel______________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

Managing Frustration

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 2 - S 2 : 3 F’s of Flipping Out8

Page 11: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

I will take Action to manage my Frustration by implementing one or more of the following strategies:

I acknowledge that taking a break from caregiving is not a selfish act. When I feel frustrated I will take a mental and/or physical break by doing one or more of the following things:

Separate the disease from the person ________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Call a time out. Remove myself physically from the situation _____________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Set clear boundaries _______________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Join a support group, call a friend and/or call a hotline __________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Get some exercise ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Ask for and accept help ____________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

9Mod 2 - S 2 : 3 F’s of Flipping Out© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 12: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

1. Evaluate the list of people, situations, and events with which you are angry.

2. Examine how fatigue, fear, and frustration are contributing to your feelings.

3. Apply the principals of Creative Indifference to each situation.

I am AWARE that I am angry with _________________ because _____________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I understand that experiencing negative emotions doesn't make me a bad person. I also ACCEPT that the following conditions & circumstances are contributing to my anger:

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Managing Anger

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 2 - S 3 : Managing Anger10

Page 13: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

I will list the situations over which I have no control, and I will let go of the responsibility of fixing and/or changing them ___________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

Instead of engaging or reacting to another person’s bad behavior, I will respond by

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

I will be willing to risk ________________’s anger by honestly and openly standing up for my own needs. I will use phrases like:

____ This makes me feel very angry ____ It’s not okay for you to talk to me like that____ I’m upset with you right now, and I need to take a break____ I can’t do that____ I am angry with you (or this situation) because

I will find a safe place to express (expel) my anger by getting involved in:

• Exercise _______________________________________________________

• Support Group___________________________________________________

• Respite Care ____________________________________________________

• Hobby/Interest/Activity _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

11Mod 2 - S 3 : Managing Anger© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

I will take Action to manage my Anger by implementing one or more of the following strategies:

Page 14: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Caregivers often get caught up in the spiraling cycle of anger followed by guilt. They think they should be able to do more. They feel guilty for losing their tempers, for having negative thoughts, for wanting a little free time for themselves, for not being able to keep promises, for family conflicts, and for sometimes wishing their loved one would just die. Sometimes guilt is self-imposed; sometimes it is inflicted on us by others. Either way, it can be a destructive emotion that leads to feelings of resentment, more anger, and depression.

I am AWARE that I feel guilty when (or about) ____________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT that guilt may or may not be an appropriate response.

My feelings of guilt are generally based on my ____ actions _____ feelings

Guilt impacts my behavior and my attitude toward others in the following ways: ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

I am willing to accept the fact that I am human and that sometimes I will (or will not)

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Module 3 : Guilt12

Caregiver Guilt A feeling of having done wrong

or having failed in an obligation

Page 15: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Applying the principals of Creative Indifference to situations that have caused you to feel guilty, complete the following:

If I have not intentionally caused physical or emotional harm to my care receiver, I will change my vocabulary. When I start to feel guilty, I will replace the word guilt with the word regret. For example:

I regret that I lose patience when my care receiver _____________________________

I regret that I feel _______________________________________________________

I regret that it is necessary to ______________________________________________

I regret that I resent _____________________________________________________

I regret that I did or didn’t _________________________________________________

I am going to focus on the kind, loving, and generous things I do on a regular basis to help my care receiver by listing them here: ___________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

13Module 3 : Guilt© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

I will take Action to manage my Guilt by implementing one or more of the following strategies:

Did I intentionally cause harm to another person? ❑ Yes ❑ No

Could I accept, explain, or forgive that behavior in someone else? ❑ Yes ❑ No

Is this feeling self-imposed? ❑ Yes ❑ No

Is this feeling being imposed upon me by someone else? ❑ Yes ❑ No

Can I change what happened? ❑ Yes ❑ No

Does my guilt benefit my care receiver? ❑ Yes ❑ No

Page 16: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 4 : Understanding Depression14

Dealing with Depression Applying the three steps of Creative Indifference to your experience with depression, complete the following statements:

I am AWARE that my feelings of sadness, despondency, and hopelessness may be:

❑ Reactionary Depression: A response to a particular event or situation ❑ Clinical Depression: A chemical imbalance that requires medical attention

I ACCEPT that depression is a condition frequently experienced by caregivers, and I realize the effects can be debilitating.

My experience with depression may have started with:

❑ A response to bad news _______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

❑ A loss or rejection ____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

❑ A broken relationship _________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

❑ Stuffing my feelings of anger and guilt ____________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

❑ Other ______________________________________________________________

It’s possible that depression is contributing to the following physical symptoms;

❑ Lack of energy _______________________________________________________❑ Headaches __________________________________________________________❑ Backaches __________________________________________________________❑ Digestive problems ____________________________________________________❑ Difficulty sleeping _____________________________________________________❑ Change in weight _____________________________________________________❑ Other physical or emotional symptoms _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 17: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

I Accept I may be Clinically Depressed if: ❑ When I look into the future I can’t imagine anything positive happening in my life.

❑ I feel that life just isn’t worth living.

❑ I have suicidal thoughts.

❑ I have felt this way for more than two weeks.

* If you checked any of these statements, please take

Action by contacting your doctor immediately.

If I am experiencing Reactionary Depression, I will take Action by implementing one or more of the following strategies: ❑ I will get out in nature _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will set aside quiet time for meditation or prayer________________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will engage in some kind of exercise or physical activity___________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will start a project_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will listen to uplifting music _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will visit a friend _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will attend a caregiver support group _________________________________________________________________________________________________________❑ I will volunteer to help someone else _____________________________________

15Mod 4 : Understanding Depression© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 18: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

16 Mod 5 : Understanding Grief © CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Coping with Grief Applying the three steps of Creative Indifference to your experience with grief, complete the following statements:

I am AWARE that I am grieving things we have already lost, including _________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

There are things I expected to have and things I thought we’d be doing right now that are no longer possible. I am grieving the loss of

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT that Preparatory Grief is a painful process. This situation will most likely get worse before my role as a caregiver ends. I expect as we go forward that I will have to adjust to

______________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Page 19: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

17Mod 5 : Understanding Grief© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Action steps to cope with Preparatory Grief I will take a mental and physical inventory. (Check all items that apply)

Knowing that grief is not a linear process and that time alone will not heal my pain, I will be patient with myself, and I will seek comfort and accept help from:

Family ____________________________________________________________Friends ___________________________________________________________Support Group _____________________________________________________Professional Counselor or Clergy _____________________________________Physician _________________________________________________________Education/Conferences _____________________________________________Exercise __________________________________________________________Favorite Activity ____________________________________________________Grief Counseling ___________________________________________________Other ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I will allow myself to grieve my losses, and if I reach a point where the weight of my losses feels overwhelming or unbearable, I will seek help from _________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

I am currently experiencing:_____Anger _____Guilt _____Tension_____Headaches _____Backaches

_____Change in Weight_____Difficulty sleeping _____Loss of objectivity _____Feelings of sadness _____Depression

Page 20: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 6 : Sex, Violence, & Dementia18

Dementia-Related Challenging Behaviors Applying the three steps of Creative Indifference to your experience with challenging behaviors, complete the following statements:

I am AWARE that Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia affect a person’s memories, emotions, actions, and behaviors. I also understand that some people may:  

• Develop a heightened interest in sex––even to the point of aggression • Lose the ability to understand what kind of behavior is acceptable • Become agitated to the point of being combative • Lose the ability to express discomfort such as hunger, thirst, and pain  • Forget who I am and how I fit into his/her life

The following actions/behaviors exhibited by my care receiver are the most challenging for me: _____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

I ACCEPT that as the disease progresses it will impact my care receiver’s perception of reality. I also accept that I may have to adjust and adapt to ___________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Page 21: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

19Mod 6 : Sex, Violence, & Dementia© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

I will remind myself:

Understanding that the disease is in control and that my care receiver is NOT, I accept that I am the one in this relationship who has the ability to choose my attitude and control my actions. I WILL:

_____ separate the disease from the person

_____ speak slowly and give my care receiver time to process short sentences

_____ ask for a favor rather than give an order

_____ distract and redirect with music, dancing, or other physical activity

_____ monitor my emotional state when we are together

_____ release my attachment to who he/she was before the disease

_____ accept that my care receiver’s dementia-altered reality is just as real to him/her as my current reality is to me

Just as I wouldn’t expect a person to walk if they’d lost a leg, I cannot expect rational, reasonable, predictable behavior from a person whose brain has been damaged by Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. In order to maintain my own mental and physical health, I WILL: ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Action steps: Challenging Behaviors

_____I will not Argue _____I will not try to talk them out of anything _____I will not try to make them remember

Page 22: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan20

Caregiver Survival Planner

Caregiver Commitment to Self-Care: I accept the fact that self care is not selfish. I understand that in order to take care of those who cannot care for themselves, I must first take care of myself. By taking care of my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health, I will be stronger and better able to cope with anger, guilt, depression, and grief. I will also be better equipped to accept the on-going changes and losses in my life.

I am making a commitment to take positive steps that will help me survive my caregiving experience and ultimately put me in a better position to care for those who need my help.

Name _________________________________ Date_______________

Notes: ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Page 23: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Time I am aware that having something to look forward to each day will release tension and give me the opportunity to relax and refocus. I may choose to read, go for a walk, take a bath, or just sit quietly by myself. I will let my loved one know this is MY time, and I do not want to be disturbed.

❏ I will set aside some time each day to do something I enjoy.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Equipment I understand that having the right tools and equipment will enable my loved one to maintain some independence. It will also help protect me from unneeded physical strain. I will look at our surroundings with fresh eyes and observe the areas where we seem to have the most difficulty. I will visit a medical supply store and ask for suggestions. I will find out how things such as ceiling hoists, shower transfers, hand rails, lifts, and other equipment can make our lives easier, and I will ask for guidance on getting financial assistance through Medicare, Medicaid, or community programs.

❏ I will find out what tools and equipment are available, and I will get them installed as quickly as I can get them delivered.

Action Plan____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

21Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 24: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan22

Get Out in Nature I realize that being outside in nature is refreshing and invigorating. I will find a way to go for a walk or simply sit on a bench for a few minutes and breathe in fresh, clean air. I will observe and enjoy the beauty of a sunrise or a sunset, and I will take a little time to appreciate the sights, sounds, and smells of the outdoors.

❏ Even if it is only in my backyard, I will find a way to get outside and enjoy nature on a regular basis.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Learn Something New As a caregiver I realize that I may be physically confined, but I refuse to let any person or situation put restrictions on where or how far my mind can go. I will read something that expands my thinking, develop a new skill, take an online course, or even learn how to do an old task in a different way.

❏ I will invigorate my mind by learning something new.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Page 25: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Take Care of Myself PhysicallyI understand that I will be of no use to my care receiver if I end up wrecking my own health. I will start taking care of my own body by eating right, developing a regular exercise program, getting enough rest, and paying attention to my own aches and pains. I will contact my doctor immediately when I have any new, unusual, or alarming physical ailments.

❏ I will make my own physical health a priority.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Stay Connected Socially I realize that it is not uncommon for invitations to social functions to stop once a person is diagnosed with a chronic illness. I do not want to become isolated. I will find ways to stay connected to the outside world. If my care receiver can’t be left alone, I will seek respite care. If that isn’t available, I will ask people to come see me. I may even get involved in social media networks.

❏ I will find a way to stay connected to family, friends, and social organizations.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

23Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 26: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Redefine Fun I understand that many of the activities I considered fun before I became a caregiver are not possible to do now. By creating a new definition of fun, I may find joy in unexpected events and places. ❏ I will create my own fun by seeking pleasure in new and different ways.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Savor Happy Memories I am aware that the person I am caring for doesn’t always act like the person I knew and loved before the illness/injury. Although I may not like who he/she has become, I will focus on recalling good memories from happier times.

❏ I will remember who my loved one was before the illness/injury, and I will focus on remembering a particularly good experience and the feelings of love and happiness we shared.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan24

Page 27: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Seek and Accept Help I recognize that caregiving is one of the most difficult and generous acts of love one person will ever perform on behalf of another. In order to survive the physical, mental, and emotional stress, I must learn to take care of myself. I will find out what resources are available and I will use every one of them. If family and friends offer to help, I will accept it, and I won’t be shy about telling them what I need.

❏ I will take care of myself by accepting help in caring for my loved one.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Develop My Spiritual Nature I will find a way to nourish my spiritual nature. I may seek comfort in the Bible, the Talmud, or the Koran. I may find it in yoga, Reiki, music, or literature. Whether it is through prayer, meditation, or some other method, I will find a way to feed my soul, because I realize that even in the worst end-of-life situations, there is still opportunity for mental and spiritual growth.

❏ I will pay attention to, reconnect with, and/or develop my spiritual nature. Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

25Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 28: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Choose My Attitude I am aware that I have absolutely no control over many things, including the progression of the disease, recovery from an injury, or the eventual outcome. I also realize that as long as I have the ability to think and reason, I will have the power to choose my attitude toward any person, thing, or event.

❏ I will be aware that I make a decision every day about the of the attitude I have toward the people, the events, and the situations in my life. I will retain the power to choose that attitude as I adjust to each new circumstance.

Action Plan_____________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Accept death as a part of life I will not avoid the subject of death, and I will not pretend that my loved one will get well if there is no chance for recovery. I will ask the doctors to talk openly and honestly about his prognosis, and I will find the courage to make decisions about continuing or stopping life-extending treatments by weighing the potential benefits against the side effects and outcomes. ❏ I accept that we are all mortal. I will not allow my loved one to receive medical treatments that will inflict great suffering if there is no chance for recovery.

Action Plan ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan26

Page 29: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Say Goodbye I will not pretend that either of us will live forever. I will let my loved one know how much I love her and how much she has meant in my life. I will not let her die with any unresolved issues between us. When the end does come, I know I will grieve her loss, but I will be happy that I shared with her the things I wanted her to know while she could still hear me.  ❏ I will not allow my loved one to die with anything unsaid or any unresolved issues between us.  

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Look for Humor I realize that laughter releases endorphins in my brain; it eases tension and makes me feel lighter, happier, and healthier. I will look for reasons to laugh, and I will seek humor in every day situations. I may rent funny movies, listen to comedians on CD’s, read joke books, or giggle with friends. I will not let the seriousness of our situation prevent me from seeing the humor in every stage of life.

❏ I will look for humor in absurd situations.

Action Plan___________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

27Mod 7 : Self Care - Survival Plan© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved.

Page 30: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

Alzheimer's Association

www.alz.org

American Brain Tumor Association

www.abta.org

American Cancer Society

www.cancer.org

American Chronic Pain Association

www.theacpa.org/pain-management-tools

American Diabetes Association

www.diabetes.org

American Heart Association

www.americanheart.org

Arthritis Foundation

www.arthritis.org

Lupus Foundation of America

www.lupus.org

National Parkinson Foundation

www.parkinson.org

National Stroke Association

www.stroke.org

National Association of Professional

Geriatric Care Managers

www.caremanager.org

National Association of Area Agencies on Aging

Each state has regional offices that help older persons and persons with disabilities

www.n4a.org

Medicare/Medicaid

www.medicare.gov

Veterans Benefits

Extensive information on all programs

www.military.com/benefits/veteran-benefits

Veterans Disability

www.military.com/benefits/veteran-benefits/veteran-disability-compensation.html#1

Veterans Aid & Attendance

www.military.com/benefits/veteran-benefits/veterans-pensions.html

Life Care Planning Law Firms Association www.lcplfa.org

Hospice Foundation of America

www.hospicefoundation.org

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys www.naela.org

© CaregiverHelp.com 2012, All rights reserved. Mod 7 : Resources & Websites 28

Helpful Resources & Websites:

Page 31: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;
Page 32: CGH WB 2017 28 pages - Caregiver Help · make a plan to avoid sleep deprivation, which may include taking naps, ... ____ This makes me feel very angry ... Sometimes guilt is self-imposed;

©Elaine K. Sanchez 2017, All Rights Reserved • For reprints call or email Elaine at [email protected]

[email protected] | www. CaregiverHelp.com | 503-949-2464