Caring for Aging Parents

Jeremy B. Yorgason, PhD, School of Family Life

BYU Wellness, Winter 2008

Caregiving• How many of you currently provide care for an aging

parent?

• How many of you currently provide care for both aging parents and children in the home?

• How many of you have provided care for a parent in the past?

• How many of you are here in anticipation of things to come?

Objectives

• Raise common concerns

• Provide some brief answers

• Provide some resources where you can find more direct and complete answers to your specific situations

Caring for Aging Parents: Examples

• Savior to Peter on the cross– Caring for a loved one

• Nephi, Sam, Jacob, Joseph, Laman, Lemuel – caring for Lehi and Sariah– 2nd generation behavior affecting the health of

the 1st generation

• Ruth and Naomi– Loyalty

The maturing of parent/adult child relationships• Parent/Child relationships maturing

• Role changes

• Life coming full circle

The maturing of parent/adult child relationships• When caregiving starts…

• Encourage a healthy balance between autonomy and dependence

• Allow parents to give

Talking about aging concerns

• Bring up the hypothetical – “What would you want if…” Frame this in your parent’s best interest.

• Research: Concern, Urging, Action

• Difficult decisions often follow crises or are based on safety issues (driving, moving residence, increased level of care)

Caregiving

• Health care– www.careutah.com (see Geriatric health care

providers)

• Primary caregivers, secondary caregivers, long distance caregiving (working?)

• In home, in assisted living facility, nursing home, hospital

Important documents

1. Will

2. Durable power of attorney (for finances)

3. Advance directives (living wills, durable power of attorney for health care)

www.hsdaas.utah.gov/pdf/ADInstructions4.pdf

Family Meetings• Communicate desires

– Important documents– End of life care– Financial situation

• All together• Individually• Video/audio• Whatever works!• http://www.eldercare.com/modules.php?op=modload&name

=CG_Resources&file=article&sid=868• http://www.eldercareteam.com/resources/articles/familymee

ting.htm

Healthy living• Physical health

• Mental health– Be aware of the three D’s (Depression, delirium, and dementia)– Dementia care– www.alz.org/utah/ – www.alzheimers.org

• Social health– Activity theory, disengagement theory, socioemotional selectivity theory

• Misc. issues– Driving (

http://www.aging-parents-and-elder-care.com/Pages/Checklists/Elderly_Drivers.html)

– Attending church, serving in church callings

Paying for care

• Medicare, Medicaid, long-term care insurance, out of pocket expenses

Paying for care

• Medicare (www.medicare.gov)• http://www.longtermcarelink.net/

eldercare.htm • http://www.longtermcarelink.net/

a16four_steps_book.htm • Take home message: Medicare does not

pay for assisted living, and only pays a portion of nursing home care.

Caring for the Caregiver: Get Help

• Eating, Sleeping, Exercise• Respite• Emotional support• Transitioning to and from primary caregiving• http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~drstall/hndbk0.html• http://www.aafp.org/afp/20001215/2613.html• A little blurb on the book, “The 36 hour day”

http://www.sleephomepages.org/books/36hourday.htm• The Kansas Caregiver’s Guide:

http://www.agingkansas.org/Publications/caregivers/cg_index.htm

Facing death

• Hospice services• At the death• Healing rituals (funeral, burial)• Grieving (stages, yet different for all)• Sorting through belongings, assets

– Take time to relate memories, be fair/generous, remember that all parties are likely still grieving (be forgiving)

We’re the Next Generation

• Preparation– Physical– Relational– Financial– Spiritual