3 LIVES

in search of bliss

3 LIVES | iii

Srini Chandra Srini Chandra was born in the city formerly known as

Madras in India in 1968, where he learned to play the violin

and studied French from the Alliance Francaise. He received

a bachelor’s degree in engineering from the Indian Institute

of Technology, Madras, where he played on the basketball,

cricket and athletics teams, captained volleyball and served

as a 3-term student senator. His academic qualifications

include master’s degrees from Ohio State University and

Carnegie Mellon University, where he was awarded the

prestigious Heinz Fellowship.

After over a dozen years of of study, work and life in

the United States, and a stint in Singapore, he moved back to

India and is now settled in Bangalore. Srini’s professional

career spans two decades in global leadership roles in general

management and marketing at some of the world’s leading

high technology companies.

Srini is a student of philosophy, science and spirituality.

His travels have taken him to over forty countries around the

world (including a motorcycle trek up the world’s highest

motorable road) and have served to reaffirm his abiding

belief in the one-ness of all things. He lives in Bangalore,

India with his lovely wife and two daughters. 3 Lives, in

search of bliss is his first published literary work.

http://srinic.in

iv | SRINI CHANDRA

Copyright © 2010 Srini Chandrasekharan

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any

means, without the prior permission in writing of the

copyright owner, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of

binding or cover other than that in which it is published and

without a similar condition, including this condition, being

imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

ISBN-10: 1463762550

ISBN-13: 978-1463762551

Published 2012

http://srinic.in

3 LIVES

in search of bliss

All characters in this book are fictional and any resemblance

to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

For Sudha, Swara and Sanjana

It is due to the will of the universe that this book has

come about. Where this book will go, who it will touch

and what it will accomplish, I lay in its hands.

Let thy will be done.

Author’s Foreword

Language is a tool that uses symbols to describe

experiences. It has limitations. When experience is

translated into words, there is always a loss. If there is

imperfect usage of language by the author, the losses

can cause insurmountable differences between

experience and understanding. It is with this admission

that I begin this exercise.

Perfect communication is a shared experience,

where no words are required to be said. Until we open

ourselves to experience, words will have to suffice.

Happiness is elusive. It is hard to describe. It never

lasts. The machinations of a restless mind ensure this. Is

there an illusion? What is the illusion? Who is it to say

what within this illusion is worth pursuing?

Many questions. No answers.

I hope that reading 3 Lives is as transformational

for you as writing it was for me.

In all humility, I invite you to share an experience.

The spirit of the universe dances to its own tune. It

connects everything - dust, rocks, plants, animals, men,

stars and galaxies - by this mysterious rhythm. The

greatest of peace comes from surrendering to its will.

3 LIVES

in search of bliss

2 | SRINI CHANDRA

Whatever the universe assigns to any man at any time is for the good of that man at that time. - Marcus Aurelius, “Meditations”, 167 A.D.

Chapter 1

A long time ago in Brooklyn, New York.

Death comes in many forms. To Ray Cordoza, it

came in the form of a fidgety eighteen year old with

thin eyebrows, a gaunt face and sunken eyes that

reflected the torment of his soul.

Ray’s final act began exactly three hours after

midnight on his forty second birthday. It came

unannounced and as a matter of fact. He was seated in

his cab, stopped at a light. A steady drizzle threatened

to take a more substantial turn. Most days tired him.

Today was no exception. The comforting embrace of

sleep beckoned. A warm bed in his house was fifteen

minutes away, and he longed for its softness.

“Go! Go! Step on it!” The boy came running and

hurled himself into the car. Ray looked around in

surprise.

Who was this kid? He had come out of nowhere. Where

did he come from?

“Sorry, pal. I’m done for the day. I’ll drop you at

the corner. Ok?”

Ray looked in the mirror.

2 | SRINI CHANDRA

The occupant in the back seat edged about

nervously, groping his oversize jacket. Something

didn’t seem right. His instinct was correct.

“Not ok. Keep driving. Unless you want a bullet in

the back of your head,” the boy’s voice quivered.

Ray looked in the mirror again. The neon from the

passing building lights glanced off a revolver in the

boy’s hand which seemed to twitch uncontrollably. The

tormented eyes looked straight back at him through the

mirror.

“Ok. Ok. Take it easy. Where do you want to go?”

This was no time to be a hero. Ray had never

thought of himself as one. In fact, he reveled in the

shadows of obscurity, content to be ordinary and

unnoticed.

“Just keep driving!” the boy shouted. “No more

questions. I am sick and tired of questions. Do you

understand?”

The rain was coming down in sheets now. The

road was desolate. Not a soul to be found.

“Ok. I get it. No more questions. Calm down, pal.

I’ll drive you wherever you want. Just be calm, all

right?”

3 LIVES | 3

Ray’s voice was hoarse. He began to feel sick to his

stomach, muscles knotting up involuntarily. Fear had

begun to take its grip.

“Shut up. Don’t tell me to be calm. You sound like

one of them,” the boy shouted.

Them? Who’s them?

The boy was crazy. Without doubt, he was

intoxicated or on drugs or maybe even both.

“Turn here. Here. Here. Here!”

He had not noticed the alley on the left. The rain

was a blinding downpour. The wipers were fighting a

battle they couldn’t win. He managed to swerve into

the narrow lane, brakes screeching as he tried to avoid

the bins lined up on the side. They had entered a dead

end. How ironic, he thought. He slowly pulled to a

stop.

Now what?

Ray’s throat was dry. Beads of sweat left streaks in

their anxiety to escape down his face.

“Get out. Out of the car. Slowly,” the boy growled.

Ray shrugged. He didn’t have a choice. He slowly

climbed out.

4 | SRINI CHANDRA

The dark clouds pouring out their fury took

vantage positions to watch him playing out his final

moments.

“Take it easy, pal. I won’t tell anyone. Just don’t

shoot, ok?” Ray pleaded.

The hazy figure in front of him raised a hand. His

hopes sank. Frozen in fear, Ray stood still. He could

barely see in front of him. His mind went blank when

he heard the first shot. The bullet struck him in the

middle of his broad chest.

“God...damn.”

A second bullet pierced his stomach. Waves of

shock cascaded through his body, transforming into

pain as they spread.

He felt his knees buckle as he fell to the ground.

The world swirled around him. As he lay on his back,

rain lashing his face, Ray Cordoza knew that he had but

a few minutes left. His breathing became labored and

his heart heavy with anger.

“What did I do to deserve this?”

Eyes open, he stared at the skies for an answer.

His vision blurred as he fought to stay awake. The faces

of Maria and their daughter, Ana floated in front of his

mind’s eye.

3 LIVES | 5

This was not expected. He was not ready to die

yet. This was not fair.

His fingers clutched the crucifix that dangled from

his neck. He wore it only to remind him of Sister

Conway.

“It will protect you from the darkness of evil.”

She had promised. She had been his angel of

mercy.

He had long abandoned her God. His prayers had

gone unanswered far too many times. But desperation

converts even the strongest mind. He prayed one last

time.

“God, please save me. Give me another chance. I

am begging you,” he gasped.

The eternal night closed in without mercy.

Everything began to go black. Sister Conway’s God had

abandoned him yet again. As hope evaporated, anger

took its place.

“God... damn you. Are you listening? Are you

even there? Why me?”

He cursed God for the final time, his cry of

anguish echoing through all of space and time.

6 | SRINI CHANDRA

Somewhere out there in the vast chasm of

nothingness, Ray Cordoza’s cry was heard.

An early jogger found his body the next morning.

“Cordoza. Cabby. Brooklyn. Homicide. Cab

missing. Presumed stolen.” A police officer called it in.

In the end, that’s what it all comes down to. A few

prosaic words suffice to describe a life of forty two

years.

The Cordoza’s were a loyal clan. They came to his

funeral. Maria spoke of him as a good and decent man.

His friends whispered amongst themselves as they

recalled memories.

A freshly dug grave accepted its occupant and

closed upon itself without protest.

“Even though I walk through the shadow of the

valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Your rod and thy staff. They comfort me.”

Father Connor’s voice drifted through the gentle

drizzle that had set in. He had known Ray since he was

a boy.

“Ray, God bless you. May your soul rest in peace.”

Ray Cordoza’s mortal remains thus reached their

resting place.

3 LIVES | 7

At that moment, Ray was preoccupied with more

pressing matters that lie between life and death. He felt

himself drifting out of the heaviness of being into light

nothingness. It was like he had woken up from a deep

slumber inside a dream. He sensed the expanse of

nothingness that surrounded him.

How do you sense nothingness?

That’s when he heard the Voice.

“I heard you, Ray.”

It seemed to come from a blanket of serene void.

Like a ray of light entering through a crack in the wall,

it seemed to have a source but spread everywhere.

The voice startled him. As Ray awakened into his

post mortem, he recollected his last moments. He felt

himself where the bullets had struck. Funny, there was

no pain. He remembered the darkness closing in. And,

he could sense the light that had taken its place.

“God... damn you. Are you even there? Are you

listening? Why me?”

His final words echoed again in the emptiness.

Where am I? Surely I must be dead?

8 | SRINI CHANDRA

Wait. Am I in a hospital? Whose voice was that? How

did it know what I said? Maybe this is just a dream?

Thoughts raced. Hope surged.

“Sorry, Ray. You, my friend, are truly and

positively dead,” the Voice interrupted his rambling

thoughts. It sounded apologetic.

Ray was a pragmatic man. The weight of the

words sank quickly.

“I am dead. But, where am I? How am I still

having thoughts? Whose voice is that?”

“Glad to see you taking it in stride. Many struggle

even after dying. You are in what lies after death, Ray.”

“Who are you…? Why can’t I see you?” Ray spoke

cautiously.

Wait. if this is the after-life… Then the Voice? that

must be … Could it be?

Ray was taken aback.

“There is a God? I would have never thought..”

Ray wavered in uncertainty. Nothing disappoints

an atheist more than meeting God.

3 LIVES | 9

“Now, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, Ray. I am

quite used to being a figment of imagination,” the Voice

was amused.

Ray had never given much thought to the afterlife.

He recalled Sister Conway again, and her words every

Sunday in church.

“Heaven awaits ye who perfect the love for God in your

hearts.”

“Wondering if you should have paid more

attention to her, Ray?” the Voice chuckled.

“I guess I should have. Though, I can hardly be

blamed,” Ray was defensive.

“Blame? We don’t use that word around here.

There are no mistakes, Ray. There are only

experiences.”

“I lost faith in the God I was taught to believe in a

long time back. Here I am now. It seems that I have put

myself at the wrong end of a big bet.”

“I am merely curious to know if you have changed

your mind. That option is always available at any given

moment. Surely you know that.”

“I am not sure if I have changed my mind about

anything. But, tell me this. What happens to me now? Is

this Judgment Day? Am I going to Hell?”

10 | SRINI CHANDRA

Ray’s discomfort was palpable.

“Judgment Day? Hell? I guess those are good

enough reasons to lose one’s faith. Don’t worry, my

friend. You’re not going anywhere. There is nowhere to

go, not just yet.” The Voice chuckled.

“Okay. That’s good to know. But, I am curious.

What happens now?”

“I can see that curiosity continues to linger long

after demise. You are free now, Ray. Free from the

immediate obligations of a mortal existence. You are

free to think. And, to ask the questions which have

always been on your mind, but never had the time to

ask. How do you feel about spending quality time with

me? We have eternity at our disposal.”

Ray smiled. He had not expected a benevolent

God. His worries began to recede. And confidence

emerged.

“A chance to talk to God himself! Who would turn

down an offer like that?”

“Truth be told, it is a lot easier to get people’s

attention after they are dead. I’ve noticed that most find

it difficult to listen when they are alive.”

“That is not true. What about my prayers? You

never answered them. I tried to get your attention every

day. I never heard back from you. Why?”

3 LIVES | 11

“Oh, I answered them, Ray. Maybe, you didn’t

notice. Maybe, you weren’t listening. Maybe, you didn’t

like the answers. But, trust me, I answered them.”

Ray was surprised. He would have surely noticed

if God had been speaking to him. Had he been too busy

to listen? He wondered if he had not listened hard

enough.

“Why did you not save me when I cried for help?

You let me die, alone, in a dark alley. What did I do to

deserve that? I never harmed anyone. Why was I

murdered? Did I deserve such a fate? Where were you

when I called for help?”

Ray’s anger rose.

“Let me ask you. Have you seen anyone live

forever? Is it not obvious that death is inevitable?”

“I see where you are going with this. I guess no

one lives forever. And, everyone has to die. I

understand that. I do not have a problem with that. But

you have not answered my question. Didn’t I deserve a

suitable end?”

“If death is inevitable, does it matter how it comes,

Ray? Why this predilection for a suitable end? It is

intriguing. I do not understand your question.”

The Voice was genuinely curious.

12 | SRINI CHANDRA

“Don’t you see the injustice in your creation? Why

do bad things happen to good people? Is this not

unfair?”

“What is good? And, what is bad? Do you really

believe that you know enough to tell the difference,

Ray?”

“You answer questions with questions. Where are

the answers?”

Ray’s frustration was evident.

“What would you like to know, Ray?” the Voice

asked softly.

“Why is the world unfair? Why are some more

fortunate than others? What did I do to deserve my

destiny? Why is happiness hard to find? What is the

purpose of it all?”

“Excellent questions, Ray. I expected nothing less.

I hope that I can help you find the answers. But, first,

tell me about your life. Were you happy?”

“My life?”

Ray halted.

At first, all he could remember was the struggle.

He did not remember being happy.

End of Excerpt

14 | SRINI CHANDRA

What readers and reviewers are saying

3 Lives, in search of bliss was first published as an e-

book in July 2011. Since then, it has been downloaded

by thousands of customers and is quietly winning the

hearts and minds of readers and critics alike around the

world. The book recently achieved the distinction of

reaching #2 on Amazon best seller’s list in the Self

Help-Motivational Kindle books category.

Here’s what some readers and reviewers had to

say (reproduced with permission).

“If you liked Siddartha, the Alchemist or The

Shack, this book will intrigue you. The author

beautifully weaves together Eastern and Western

thought. exploring the personal journey, the concept of

souls and soulmates, the afterlife and the pursuit of

happiness (bliss). This is a lovely and compelling

"search" - well worth your time.”

Pam Benjamin, CEO, Medsoft, Ohio, USA

“An absolute gem. In a very concise, yet

entertaining package the author manages to capture the

essence of the struggle for happiness as a soul journeys

through a series of very different life experiences. I

couldn't put the book down after the first few pages

and I intend to read it again. The synthesis of Eastern

and Western conceptions of God was the most

compelling that I have read or reviewed in recent

3 LIVES | 15

memory. I don't recall the last time that I've been given

so much insight in such a small number of pages. It is

clear that this is a work of deep thought and reflection.”

Darrin Buxman, Amazon TOP 1000 reviewer

“This book blew my socks off. I don't read a lot of

fiction. But, this is the best fictional book I've read since

"The Shack". I rarely give a book (or anything) five

stars. After seeing every review on Amazon so far for

this book has been five stars, I was looking for a reason

to take a star away. If all the review are five stars,

people might think something funny is going on. But,

this book deserves every one of those stars. Pick it up.”

Brian Smith, Amazon VINE VOICE

Order the Book

Paperback on

flipkart.com

http://bit.ly/KSUHJQ

Paperback on

Amazon

http://amzn.to/N3egxI

Kindle e-Book

on Amazon

http://amzn.to/KN8iWr

Visit book website at http://3lives.in

Join over a thousand fans at

http://www.facebook.com/3LivesTheBook

Find out more about the author at http://srinic.in