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Issue 32
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MMaattee rr ii aa ll ii ssmm
aanndd ff ii nndd
HHaappppiinneess ss ..
AAmm II jj uuss tt aa ll aabbee ll ??
II ’’mm AA MM uuss ll iimm ?? II tt DDooeess nn ’’ tt MMeeaann II ’’ mm aa TTeerr rroorr ii ss tt !!
WWhhyy RRoodd iiggaann
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Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 1
Black-Bright NewsThe Voice of the Disadvantaged
Stereoptyped & Stigmatised
Blackbright News is the voice for people who have felt stigma-
tised or stereotyped because of race, culture, religion, homeless-
ness, immigration status, economic situation, gender, health con-
dition, sexual orientation, age, disability or because they’ve been
abused. Blackbright News will do this by, 1) disclosing the per-
sonal experiences of famous and ordinary individuals who have
openly shared similar challenges, 2) using awareness raising
strategies to highlight the impact of stigma, especially when it
inhibits the ability to realise full human potential, 3) mentoring,
offering advice, talks and/or referring on and, 4) promoting prod-
ucts that encourage well-being, ranging from music, spas, holistic
therapy, counselling to making good choices.
Blackbright News was founded in May 2006, by Myrna Loy, to
redress the negative stereotyping of black people in the UK.
However, she has now widened its remit to include everyone
who feels stereotyped or stigmatised, and to specifically give a
voice to those individuals who feel stereotyped or stigmatised
because of mental illness.
Blackbright News is a global publication that uses narratives
to explore the rationale behind diagnosis, treatment and sup-
port, and can be used as a training approach to promote oppor-
tunities for debates and discussions regarding stigma.
Blackbright News is a black-led quarterly magazine that will
be the voice for any stigma/stereotype-related situation, regard-
less of situation or race. We are prepared to receive informa-
tion in most formats, e.g., illustrations, poetry, short stories, let-
ters, statements or feature articles, preferably supported by
images/photos. If someone feels uncertain about their writing
ability, we can arrange for a telephone (or face-to-face) inter-
view. Whatever is divulged to us will be taken seriously and
treated confidentially. We will not publish names or identifying
information unless expressly asked to do.
Blackbright News has a particular interest in the way people
who have a mental health condition are being treated in institu-
tions and care homes. We seek input from corporate,
health/legal representatives and organisations that offer
respite/independent living accommodation for those with men-
tal health issues. Friends, family members and carers are also
welcome to share observations and their positive and negative
experiences.
Blackbright News is a nonpartisan, philanthropic publication,
and as such it takes no stand on public policy issues. Any opin-
ions expressed in its publications are those of the authors and
not of the publication. Blackbright News is self-financed and
thrives on the resourcefulness, resilience and commitment of its
members. We are seeking contributions from professionals and
lay persons alike. We are also seeking financial and non-financial
support through sponsorships, advertising, contributions, dona-
tions, and inviting volunteers to gain work experience in some-
thing they have a passion for; for example, journalism, photogra-
phy, graphic design, poetry illustrating, distributing, marketing and
promoting.
Founder, Publisher & Managing Editor: Myrna LoyBack Cover Design: Lakshmi Narayan Gupta
Back cover & ‘Girls’ Photo taken by Garfield Hall
BLACKBRIGHT NEWSStudio 57 Saywell Road LU2 0QG
PAYPAL email: [email protected]
Tel: 01582 721 605www.issuu.com/blackbrightnews (for previous issues)
or www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews ISSN No. 1751-1909
1
As a way of enabling individuals/businesses to support
Blackbright News, whilst building up their business/person-
al profile, we are selling advertising space for products and
services in our publication at competitive rates and, in return
- the paid advert will be accompanied by a matched size press
release or feature on their product, e.g. full page advert would
receive a full page feature.
Blackbright’s Life Coaches are experts who have expe-
rienced neglect, abuse, racism, discrimination, victimisation,
redundancy, abandonment, isolation, violation of rights, physi-
cal, emotional and psychological abuse, stigma, divorce, betray-
al, deceit, grief and now live rich and fruitful lives, so are qual-
ified to share what internal resources were used to overcome
trauma and motivate them. Organisations can commission
this, or our Counselling Service, or can receive FREE advice
and/or useful referrals from the Blackbright Mentor by writ-
ing to us for publication. We provide Life Coaching,
Mentoring Programmes and Motivational Talks to anyone who
feels stigmatised, stereotyped or otherwise disadvantaged.
For more information email: [email protected]
AAmm II jjuu ss tt aa ll aabbee ll ??
II ’’mm AA MM uuss ll iimm ?? II tt DDooeess nn ’’ tt MMeeaa nn II ’’ mm aa TTeerr rroorr ii ss tt !!
DO YOU KNOW… what
the difference is between mentalillness and mental health? bmin
The term ‘mental illness’ is generally used
when someone experiences significant
changes in their thinking, feelings or behav-
iour. The changes need to be bad enough to
affect how the person functions or to cause
distress to them or to other people. The terms
‘ ‘mental health problem’ and mental disorder’
have a similar meaning.If a person has always
had a problem in their thinking, feeling or
behaviour, then this is not usually called men-
tal illness. It may then be called a developmen-
tal problem or a difficulty with their personality
(sometimes called a personality disorder).
Contd on Page 3
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 2
2
ISLAMIC VIEW ON DIVORCE
Allah says in the Quran:
“And live with them (women) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings
through it a great deal of good.” An-Nisa (The Women) 4 : 19
Ibnu Umar r.a. reported the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. as saying,
“The lawful thing that is most detested by Allah is divorce.” (Narrated by Abu Daud and Hakim)
It is clear that Islam strongly discourages divorce. Divorce always has negative effects on the
affected couples, on their children, on their families and on the community at large
EFFECTS OF DIVORCE
Islam discourages divorce because of the ensuing problems relating to:
Emotion
Finance
Social stigma
Emotion
Couples facing a marriage break-up will have to cope with: Anxiety Anger, Sadness, Weariness, Guilt, Feeling
of isolation. Low self-esteem, Worry. Disappointment / frustration, Loneliness. Among estranged partners in
marriage, these feelings are unavoidable before, during and after the process of divorce. The couples con-
cerned are not the only people affected; others close to them may be affected too.
The following mental health issues can be a direct result of matrimonial problems: sense of guilt, embarrass-
ment, insecurity and loss of self-confidence; depression; anxiety
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 3
CCOONNTTEENNTTSS
1. About Blackbright News
2. Islam on Divorce & Mental Health
4. Just because I’m a Muslim does
not mean I’m a terrorist
5. Facts on Stigma
9. Words to think about
10. Threats & Fears
11. Rosemary’s Living Room (Pt 2)
(True story by Emansha)
14. Mental Illness, Poem by RC
15. Escaping Materialism
16. David Rodigan Resigns from Kiss
18. How to tell a Leap of Faith from a
Stupid Decision
19. What has Nutrition got to do with me!
20. Low Tolerance in Relationships
21. Loving Yourself - Inside Out
3
DID YOU KNOW�Contd from Page 1
Mental health is the opposite – it
means mental wellbeing, good mental func-
tioning or having no particular problems in
thinking, feelings or behaviour.
These kinds of definitions of course greatly
over-simplify things. All of us experience
changes from time to time in our feelings,
thinking and behaviour, and there is no clear
cut off between illness and health. Also
someone may have problems which fit the
definition of a mental illness, but they may be
very healthy mentally in other ways.
loss of concentration; tendency towards negative
attitude and behaviour, compounded by reduced
income.
Social Stigma
It is not unusual for divorcees to be derided by the
community. The estranged couple can lose each
other’s relatives and friends and help with the chil-
dren.
Islamists knows that in many cases a partner in mar-
riage comes to this painful decision because of the
irresponsible behaviour of the other partner, but still
does not believe that given the mental health chal-
lenges, a divorce is the best solution. Extracted & adapted from: http://app.syariahcourt.gov.sg/syariah/front-end/
AbtDivorce_ Effects Of Divorce_E.aspx
Blackbright News has a New logo!!
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 4
I suppose it was growing up in a small tight-knit
Asian community and attending a predominantly
Asian high school, which somewhat contributed to
my, then, lack of awareness of racism. Especially
since my best friend in school was black and my
other closest friend was white, so in my one-dimen-
sional mind, I assumed (with the exception of the
odd ignoramus here and there) that 21st century
racism just did not exist. Was I in for a rude awaken-
ing, or what?
After having completed my GCSE’s it was time for
me to start college. As it was a new phase in my life,
I decided to do what I had wanted to do for so long,
and that was to wear a headscarf. I didn’t wear a
headscarf in high school, simply because it didn’t
cross my mind much of the time, and the few times
it did, it’s not something I took seriously. Though
now, however, I viewed myself differently and felt
like I was a young adult responsible for her own
actions, therefore I felt it was essential for me to fol-
low the guidelines of my faith.
Upon reflection I realise
how naïve I was to think I
could wear a headscarf
and assume people
would still treat me the
same way. Well…they
didn’t. Walking about in
my own neighbourhood
and other public places
was generally okay, but
whenever I stepped into
a different area, I was
subject to stares, glares and people walking and
talking around me as if I had swine flu. I recall an
incident where a young gentleman was staring at
me like a wide-eyed deer, as if trying to figure out
exactly what I was.
College was not really any different. My class were
made up of all girls, with roughly two-thirds being
white and the other third being Asian. I tried to
make conversation with everyone but at first some
of white girls wouldn’t really speak to me, and when
they did, it took me time to realise that it wasn’t the
same way they would talk to each other. Whilst
speaking to me, they would use smaller words and
sentences. I used to get some of the best grades in
class, so I honestly couldn’t understand where the
inspiration for their patronising attitude was coming
from.
There was one girl who was nice to me though, and
once she even wished me a happy Eid. I felt gen-
uinely happy thinking, wow, at least someone’s
4
JUST BECAUSE I’M AMUSLIM DON’T MEAN I’M
A TERRORIST!!
“RAGHEAD!”. The first time I heard this word was
when it appeared in the news after video footage
showed Prince Harry using it to describe one of his fel-
low soldiers. To my naïve sheltered ears, it sounded
too amateur to qualify as an insult that I found myself
laughing. I soon came to realise though, through my
older brother, that ‘raghead’ did in fact exist. ‘You did-
n’t know? People say stuff like that all the time…we’re
not liked.’
That last sentence in particular struck a chord, as my
brother continued to speak, concluding with an
account of how the walls in his college toilets are lit-
tered with racist graffiti, one notably reading ‘all p*ki’s
are inbreds.’ Hearing about how harsh some people
can be just because other people are a different
colour made me feel very uneasy, as this was all very
new and disturbing to me. Like I said, I was naïve and
sheltered…and probably about as street-wise as a
potato.
DJ Lady Loy on Jamrock Sundaysfor Music & Interviews
SUNDAYS 8PM - 10PM (GMT)
www.jamrockradio.comPromoting New Music & New Artists
email: [email protected]
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 5
open-minded around here. That was until of course I
heard her mutter racial slurs to her friends about ‘ter-
rorist scarves’ and how she believed holy scriptures
were written by a man on crack, before looking
incredibly guilty after she realised I’d overheard her
conversation. Talk about awkward moments. I’m glad
no one told me it would only get worse from there
because just the isolation and the hostility from the
girls was enough to make me want to leave.
As winter turned to spring, sometimes we would walk
out the college and up the road over to where the
shops were to purchase treats during lunchtime. I
remember it being an April afternoon and I was walk-
ing along behind some five other (white) girls. I
noticed a black car
drove up the road
and slowed a little.
I didn’t realise it at
the time but the
four boys in the car
were waiting for
me to walk past,
and when I did…bam. I got hit in the face with a heap
of food. It wasn’t the actual attack which hurt though,
it was more when they laughed like hyenas and drove
off. The whole incident happened so fast and sponta-
neously that it took me a least a minute to pull myself
together and come to terms with what had just hap-
pened. It’s not every day I get things hurled at my
face, therefore I didn’t really know how to react or
what to do next, so I just sort of stood there, stupidly.
The two girls who had witnessed the whole scene just
froze and gaped at me, consequently drawing the
attention of the others in the group, who in turn did
the same. At that moment I remember feeling
extremely uncomfortable. I’m sure everyone did,
maybe that’s why there were such heavy pauses
whenever someone spoke.
Awkward silence
Girl 1: …Are you okay?
Me: …Erm…yeah…
A longer awkward silence
Girl 2: What happened?
Girl 1: Those guys threw that at her.
Girl 3: Were they white?
Girl 1: Yeah…
An even longer awkward silence
As if it wasn’t clear enough already, everyone knew
5
Facts
Depression may be a well-known disease affecting millions
of people worldwide but according to a 2007 article,
Depression Stigma Sometimes Deadly, only 50 percent of
people with depression in the United States actually seek
treatment.
Defining Stigma
Stigma can be defined as an identifying “mark” or uncharac-
teristic “blemish.” For people with depression, stigma ulti-
mately results from society developing biases or negative
views, such as calling depression a “weakness” or “charac-
ter flaw” of the person with the disease.
Erving Goffman’s Stigma Theory
In a thesis entitled, “The Effects of Stigma Applied to
Depression,” Sara Payne discusses Erving Goffman’s defi-
nition of stigma in relation to depression. According to
Goffman, there are two types of identities a person can
evolve into: a “virtual social identity” or how society expects
an individual to behave and “actual social identity”—the way
a person actually behaves. If the “actual social identity” (i.e.
depression, symptoms) doesn’t match with the “virtual iden-
tity” a person may experience stigma.
Effects of Stigma
Mentally ill people battling stigma from society often develop
feelings of shame and low self-esteem. As a result, a
depressed person will not only shy away from life-saving
treatment, but will experience societal pressures and prob-
lems, such as loss of income, poor inter-relationships or
possible death.
Helpful Organizations
Dr. Karen L. Swartz, director and founder of Johns Hopkins Hospital
Adolescent Depression Awareness Program in Baltimore, Maryland,
helps parents and teenagers understand the seriousness of depression
and how stigma undermines treatment outcomes. The National Mental
Health Awareness Campaign started by Tipper Gore in 1999 helps edu-
cate the public on the myths of stigma in depression.
Source: Why Is There a Stigma With Depression? | eHow.com
http://www.ehow.com/facts_5804535_there-stigma-
depression_.html#ixzz2AyHRqlmo
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 6
6
exactly why I was targeted out of the group, but
nobody was bold enough to say it. Until…
Girl 1: …Khalida?
Me: Hmm?
Girl 1: I think they done it ‘cause…you’re wearing a
headscarf…
Me: Yeah…I know
Girl 4: I don’t know what to say…
Neither did I.
Towards the end of that year, my family decided to
move to a bigger house and chose to buy one which
was located on the other side of town. The majority of
my new neighbours were white, including my next
door neighbours who are an English family, and the
other family who are Anglo – Irish. Very good people. I
particularly appreciate how they always make a cour-
teous effort to start conversations with my parents,
despite there obviously being a huge language barrier
and other cultural differences. They don’t realise it,
but that means a lot to me. Although my neighbours
are polite and cordial, not everyone else in the neigh-
bourhood was as friendly. Being in a new area meant I
had to take a different route when walking to college,
so it became quite the norm to walk past places which
had unsavoury comments written everywhere such as,
‘p*ki scum’ and ‘go home p*ki.’
It was also during this time where I started to take a
deeper interest in my religion because I felt that
behind all this ongoing drama, there must be a pur-
pose to my life. I felt like I had to have been made for
a reason, otherwise why would I be here?
In spite of being brought up in a Muslim household, my
actual knowledge of Islam was very limited, as I only
knew the basic fundamentals of my faith and not much
else. So as I began to take my religion more seriously, I
took it upon myself to
learn more about Islam.
Through my research I
began to assess my life
and soon discovered that I
was wearing the hijab
incorrectly. For some rea-
son, many people (includ-
ing some Muslims) often
mis-translate ‘hijab’ to
mean headscarf. The gen-
eral head covering is
called the ‘khimar’,
whereas the (woman’s)
‘hijab’ refers to the full body covering, whereby only
her hands and face are visible. (A man’s hijab has
different requirements).
Due to this misinterpretation, when some Muslim
girls learn they have to wear a hijab, they usually
just cover their hair thinking
they are wearing the hijab,
when in actual fact they’re
not. And I was no different,
in short, I realised if I want-
ed to be a better Muslim I
had to make a change
because my headscarf, skin-
ny jeans and short sleeved
tops weren’t going to cut
the mustard, so to speak.
Meanwhile college was finally finishing and I was
happy because my time there was only getting
more miserable by the day. One girl told me regard-
less of where I was born, I was not British, nor will I
ever be because I was Asian. And that people
should just go back to where they came from. She
didn’t have an English surname and i pointed out
her French ancestry. What about that then?
Apparently, according to her, that didn’t count. It
didn’t bother me too much though because she’s
entitled to her own opinions, and at least she said
it to my face. Also it didn’t come as much of a sur-
prise to me when I learnt she was a member of an
anti-immigrant group on Facebook.
After doing some serious thinking, I decided to
wear the hijab the proper way, where only my
hands and face would be visible in public. So now,
I was no longer ‘normal’ from the neck down, as
was the case before. This time when I stepped out
into the world, I felt even more isolation and hostil-
ity from some people, and again there was that
patronising attitude I received, which seemed to
have increased ten-fold. People talk down to me;
they talk louder; they talk slower, or they don’t
even make an effort to talk at all. Then there are
those people who talk about me in front of me,
assuming I won’t have a clue what they’re saying. I
mean, come on now!
One example of that was when I was walking home
from work late one night and I had to walk down
this tunnel. There were about four or five other big
guys walking up the tunnel, and I heard one of
them notify his pals that there was a p*ki at close
range (me). They were saying other things about
me which I couldn’t make out, and then out of
nowhere one of the guys yelled in my face and
jerked his body toward me, in order to intimidate
me. A scene which his friends clearly found very
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 7
7
entertaining. What a coward. He should try picking
fights with someone his own size, not to mention gen-
der. Maybe he should also try educating himself and
learn that not all Asians are Pakistani.
I have noticed that males in particular behave more
aggressively, whereas females tend to be more spiteful
and/or condescending. For example, one time a guy a
spotted me walking by and gave me the finger like it
was his job. Another time some other guy told me to
**** off. Maybe he thought I didn’t understand him
because he then kept on repeating himself till he was
out of sight. Women on the other hand aren’t as phys-
ical with their prejudices. For instance, if I go to
women’s retail store and pick out a pair of jeans or a
dress…etc. sometimes I’ll get funny stares from fellow
customers. Yes, I do wear other clothes you know.
Other times there may be the pretentious sales assis-
tant I have to put up with, who will tone down their
vocabulary, and not speak to me the same way they
speak to other customers, because they presume I am
dumb. I suppose I don’t have it as bad as others
though. I have a friend who is English and wears a
hijab, and some people think she can’t speak English -
her own mother tongue. I can’t imagine how annoying
that must be.
There are even some people who feel sorry for women
in hijab and want to liberate us from the shackles of
our ‘oppressive, male chauvinistic religion’. Urghh...
Please... Save it! Go find someone else to ‘liberate.’
These people need to understand that they are just
wasting their emotions on something useless and
unnecessary. I am in no need of anyone’s pity or sym-
pathy. I am a perfectly competent, intelligent young
woman and the only oppression I face is from these
very people, who want me to abandon my beliefs and
values, and conform to their ideals and ‘norms.’ They
argue that women in Islam are subordinate, subjugat-
ed and inferior to men. When in reality this is quite the
contrary. Women have far more rights in Islam than
men do. Voting, marriage, divorce, inheritance, the
right to own property, education, a career, etc., were
things Islam permitted women to do over 1,400 years
ago.
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 8
8
Due to the whole women-aren’t-allowed-to-drive-in-
Saudi-Arabia issue and other (flawed) examples, peo-
ple often try to illustrate these as the ‘brute laws of
Islam in action’, when really it has nothing to do with
Islam but everything to do with Arab culture. That’s
just how some Saudi’s choose to live, regardless of
their faith. Let me guess, these Arabs should be ‘liber-
ated’ too? Maybe if these people who want to ‘liber-
ate’ me actually picked up a book and read about this,
instead of referring to the mainstream media and
other biased sources to help form their opinions, they
wouldn’t be so clueless.
As a result of certain media coverage, there is defi-
nitely a social stigma attached to women who wear
hijab. Every ‘group’ past and present, has had a
stereotypical label attributed to them and Muslims
are no different. Over the past years, I’ve grown
weary of the media and the negative stereotypical
images they project into our minds, without us even
realising sometimes. The white chav, the black crimi-
nal, the Asian patriarchal control freak, are just to
name a few. How I despise stereotypical labels, but
the media loves them.
We as a people, need to be more wise and intelligent
enough to understand that people who publish these
stories have their own money-making agenda’s in
mind, which is why the media won’t always be honest
and truthful. Unlike sensationalised drama, pure hon-
esty won’t always sell. Therefore the media unfortu-
nately becomes the only source of information some
people have about a certain group of people, whom
they may never come into contact with.
By reasons of what I have mentioned above, I felt it
was an obligation on my part to write this article and
try to shed some light on the challenges Muslim
women are faced with in this society. So if you do
happen to cross paths with a woman in hijab, please
don’t rudely ignore her, patronise her, or hate her.
Understand that she is wearing her hijab as an effort
to please God, and not how some people ethno-cen-
trically interpret it to mean, as a symbol of male sup-
pression. Yes, I recognise that the hijab is regarded as
unfamiliar attire in the west, but that is no reason to
persistently stare at her as if she is a zoo animal. Also
understand that she is by no means a dim-witted
robot, or an alien from another planet. (So don’t treat
her like one). She is a human being with a brain and a
heart, just like you.
As for myself and the experiences I’ve faced? As
unpleasant as they were, it’s not something I would
trade for the world. I’m happy I went through every-
thing I did because it made me the person I am today.
I’m stronger, thicker skinned, and perhaps maybe
more understanding because I know what it feels like
to be hated for no reason. I also don’t scare as easily
now and know how to deal with situations the way an
adult is supposed to.
With the rise of anti-Islamic sentiment, I realise that it
is inevitable I will have to face more of the same chal-
lenges. Nevertheless I will never allow those chal-
lenges to defeat me or hold me back in any way.
Everybody faces some degree of hardship and
nobody’s life is perfect, so why should mine be any dif-
ferent. These are just the challenges I have to face.
Some people will never like me or accept me, but I
know that as long as I am happy, healthy and have a
family that loves me then nothing else in this world
really matters.
Written by Khalida, Luton.
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 9
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Words to think about...
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SPECIAL NOTICE
BLACKBRIGHT NEWS is looking forvolunteers in the field of journalism,
graphic design and photography.We are also seeking regional agents.Students who need work experiencewelcome, but should be interested in
magazine publishing and relatedaspects.
EMAIL BIO/INTEREST to: [email protected]
T HRE AT S AND “FE AR”
To manage our lives properly we need to be able to
operate from a positive point of view and cannot possi-
bly operate well from fears.
We fear “consequences” and the threat of them happen-
ing or the thought of the threat of them happening is
called fear. We fear we will lose something.
Legitimate fears are:
In a realistically threatening situation of loss of one’s
life. Basically, the only legitimate fear is non-survival.
Semi-legitimate fears are:
Loss of a limb; Being quadriplegic - but it is proven
that after a year, someone who has become quadriple-
gic is just as happy as before.
Illegitimate fears are:
Loss of approval (love, etc.). We hold onto this one
from childhood, where we were legitimately not capa-
ble of feeding and caring for ourselves so that our sur-
vival would be threatened without the love. When we
are no longer helpless, this fear is no longer legitimate.
This will take various forms like:
Not being good enough (so might not be loved and then
I’ll not survive); Not being able enough (so might not
survive; Helpless; Hopeless; Fear of abandonment (so
no one to take care of me, so I’ll not survive); Fear of
shame (we’re shameful so we won’t be loved and we’ll
die); Fear of being thought to have a character flaw (so
not be loved)
These are unexamined, unrevised, outdated misbeliefs!
They are only real in the mind!
The irony is that we proceed to make up stories and
gather evidence that support these mis-beliefs and then
we think our stories and our evidence are legitimate and
true! So we need to learn the difference between Truth
and “Not-Truth”, between the “what is” and the
“story”.
Recommendations for developing insights and some
abilities that will support this type of thinking:
Landmark Education has developed this to the excel-
lence level. Take the Landmark Forum – see www.land-
markeducation.com for information
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 11
11
which was used in the chemical bucket
Rosemary used for a toilet.
While Eric was outside I started clearing the
way, I began by taking my jacket off and
hanging it on the door. I continued working
and Eric returned with a can of air freshen-
er and was spraying it secretly as he moved
around the room. However, disappointment
was about to strike as we struggle with the
settee we finally got stuck outside the living
room door and half way down the passage
way (it was really narrow) we called to
Rosemary to let her know that we were
bringing the settee back because it was too
wide to pass she said ok.
Once we brought the settee back into the
living room Eric said goodbye to Rosemary
and headed straight for the door, I collected
my jacket and told her that we may have to
take out some of the boxes, old suit cases
(you know the ones, back in the days; she
had about five, there was even a trunk as
big as a house) in the room to give her more
space instead of moving the settee. She
looked around and agreed. I grabbed my
jacket said goodnight and left.
On my way out I pushed my hands into my
jacket to get my mobile, it was gone I
returned to Rosemary’s and asked her if she
had seen my mobile in the room, I explained
that I had the phone in my pocket and
Rosemary constantly tried to convince me
that I didn’t come with a phone, I said I did
because I used it to call you on my way over
and also to call Eric; she went quiet and
then said “are you sure you didn’t leave it at
home” I said No, I definitely had it in my
pocket. I told her that I was going to check
the car on my way home to look although I
knew for sure that I had my mobile in my
pocket, I didn’t find the mobile in the car; I
search the house unwillingly, because I
Rosemary’s Living Room
Part 2By Emansha
I had been visiting Rosemary now for some-
thing like eleven months but an incident
happen with my mobile phone which left me
considering my friendship with this woman.
I had a call from Rosemary, one afternoon
asking me to come over and help her to move
her beloved family Chesterfield settee she has
had it since she was married back in the
days. I went over to help her move the
Chesterfield but it was too heavy, really
heavy so I told her I would go and get some-
one to help and I would return shortly. I
returned to Rosemary’s house with a man I
knew who did removals. I didn’t want to
bring anyone to her house because of the
condition but Eric was ok. He understood
because he had family member’s living in
conditions like Rosemary’s and some of them
had mental health issues.
Eric and I entered the house and went
straight into the living room where Rosemary
was laying down on the bed. I greeted her
and introduced her to Eric. She told Eric she
wanted more space in the room that’s why
she wanted the settee moved to the back
room, he said “no problem ma” and he began
measuring up the door space to the settee he
looked at me and called me into the passage.
“Look he said, I can’t handle the smell, I have
to go outside for some air”. I said ok, it took
me sometime to handle the smell but by now
I was used to the smell of strong disinfectant
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 12
12
knew I last had the phone at Rosemary’s
house. I decided to drive back to her house
and look again. When I arrived at
Rosemary’s house she seemed reluctant to let
me in, she behave as if she was not sure who
I was I couldn’t understand her sudden
change, and I really needed to find my phone.
Suddenly an idea came to me. So I decided
to use Rosemary’s phone to call my number.
I asked if I could use her phone, oh! She said
“what you going to do” so I explained and
Rosemary said she didn’t know where her
phone was. Her phone was always difficult to
find because of the rubbish she often piled
up on top of it (old newspapers, take away
food boxes, rotten fruits etc) but I was deter-
mined and dug through the rubbish to find
the phone and I did. As I began to ring my
number Rosemary, sat up on the edge of the
bed waiting anxiously, I could see it on her
face she looked worried.
After waiting for the connection would you
believe it my mobile started to ring in her
room, I said “Rosemary can you hear that?”
No, hear what she said, I replied, “it’s my
phone ringing can you hear it?” I started
moving boxes and following the sound, the
ringing was getting louder and louder, I
looked at Rosemary and said “can you hear it
now!?” she said nothing and looked away. I
finally found the phone stuffed down the
inside of a large box in the far corner of the
living room, I don’t recall even going near the
box that evening and if it had fallen in it
would have been on the top but instead it
was stuffed far down the side of the box so it
left me to conclude that Rosemary tried to
steal my mobile.
On thinking back there was an occasion
where Rosemary was asking me for my
mobile, I didn’t think anything of it; she said
she had a niece abroad and she wanted to
send her a mobile phone and she liked my
mobile so much she asked if I would give it to
her when I brought a new one. The conver-
sation end in my agreement to help her to
look for a more suitable phone (my phone
was a bit old now) when she was ready but I
had no idea she would have gone as far as to
try and steal from me, the person who has
been so supportive to her and cared for her
as a true friend, I was in shock so once I had
found the phone I left.
I didn’t visit or call for around two weeks. I
just couldn’t understand the different per-
sonality disorders of her illness. However, I
forgave her and contacted her by phone
immediately. “Hi Rosemary, how are you”,
“Oh girl” she would say “I am ok”, but I
always knew she wasn’t ok she would never
admitted to not being ok such a proud an
stubborn woman; she told me she needed me
to come over and do some cleaning and has I
had not been for two full weeks I started to
feel sick, sick of the thought of all the mess
she must have made in that short space of
time.
I couldn’t bring myself to visit Rosemary that
week so I delayed the visit again, I needed
help with this woman I just couldn’t cope any
longer but I had spoken to Rosemary numer-
ous times about getting real assistance with
her issues and she always replied “No, they
want to take away my house and put me in
sheltered housing, I want to die here, this is
my home”. I considered calling social servic-
es, about Rosemary; I considered looking into
charities that could help, I considered all
sorts of things to try and help so I decided to
talk it over with a close family member.
My eldest sister runs her own business and
is very successful business woman always
gave us advice in times of stress. She sat me
down and told me a similar story to
Rosemary’s. She also advised me to get out
of this friendship, she said that the stress she
can see I am under is not worth it, its best
you put your efforts into your family and
keep your focus the conditions the lady lives
in is out of control and very unhygienic “ you
could catch some illness there and pass it
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 13
13
onto friends and family” she said (I never
even considered this I just wanted to help),
my sister told me to leave her family and the
authorities to deal with it and if they already
know about her then she should be getting
more assistance. What about her daughter
my sister asked? I don’t see her I replied.
Well as a conclusion to this meeting I made a
decision to leave Rosemary alone initially but
I couldn’t just leave her like that so I went
back one evening.
It was now four weeks since I had last been
to visit her although I had kept in touch by
phone. I had finish work early one evening so
I headed straight over to Rosemary’s house,
anxious to see how she had cope herself, or if
she had got someone else to help, I knew the
neighbors’ tried to look out for her occasion-
ally, I suppose secretly I was hoping things
had got better and someone else was taking
care of Rosemary; I was dreading the work
but I had gloves and a change of clothes in
the boot of the car so I was still prepared to
do some cleaning and clearing for her.
It wasn’t a surprise visit either as Rosemary,
didn’t like surprises and if you didn’t call her
before you came round you are likely to be
left standing at the front door in any weath-
er, so she was expecting me. I parked in the
usual place and headed towards Rosemary’s
front door, there was a really, really terrible
smell it made me feel literally sick. I contin-
ue up the stairs and stood at the door the
smell was coming through the door it was
overwhelming. It was so strong I used my
jacket to cover my nose. I knock the door, no
answer; I knocked again harder, still no
answer suddenly, I hear the familiar shuffling
noises she usually makes on her attempts to
get to the front door over the rubbish and
boxes in the living room.
Rosemary opened the front door and I can’t
begin to tell you how horrified I was when I
looked in, I could not pass the front door
because of the rubbish it was pile high like a
mountain; the front door could only open
enough for you to squeeze yourself in and
there were FLIES. Thousands of flies, they
were everywhere, the only way to describe
this infestation is to think of bees, the flies
were like bees hanging of the light fittings it
made my skin crawl, I couldn’t go inside, the
flies were on the door, ceiling, the wall, the
lights fittings, and I just could not go in.
I stepped back from the door and stood out-
side talking to her. Rosemary came closer to
the door and peered her head around it “you
not coming in she said” I said “you know I
HATE flies and there are thousands; “go and
get me some fly killer then she replied,
“what’s happening Rosemary? I said, You
need help I can’t help you, this is too much
for me” I told her I have to let social services
know because I can’t leave her like this, she
got angry immediately, really annoyed near-
ly hysterical so I had to agreed not to so she
would calm down.
I did however, go to the shop and buy the fly
killer, disinfectant spray, antibacterial wipes
and brought it back for Rosemary, but I still
couldn’t go inside and the smell was making
me feel really unwell so I left. I also went to
visit the few family members I knew she had
in the area because Rosemary often pointed
them out to me on our travels around town
and being a small town everyone knows
everyone so they were not difficult to find. I
told them that I had tried taking care of
Rosemary and it’s been really difficult I just
cannot cope alone and I am just a friend tak-
ing on their responsibly. I pleaded with a
couple of them to try and help her.
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 14
14
However, the conclusion of my conversations
with her family members were that (and I
quote) “you should leave her alone, aunty has
been like that since uncle left her and their
marriage ended in divorce, we have tried
everything but she will not leave the house
and her mental health is being treated by the
hospital, we can’t do any more than we have,
we were the ones who notified the authori-
ties. So it’s up to you if you want the respon-
sibility”
Well! I didn’t leave her alone; we are still
friends (we don’t have so much contact now)
but still contact each other by phone.
Rosemary is now getting help and support
from church friends and as I don’t visit her
home any more I can only listen to what she
tells me. She has recently double glazed the
entire windows in the house (this I have seen,
while driving by) which has made her feel like
a new woman (she is even prouder than
before) and I am looking forward to hearing
from her soon about her progress however,
slow.
The End
Emansha
MENTAL ILLNESS
By RC (Luton)
I looked at mental illness as a punishment
from God
Not for what we have done, or should..
But for our parents and our forefathers before
And if we don’t look into mental illness now
You will find that our children,
and their children’s children will also suffer.
All the government can say
Is that mental illness is not a priority.
So to save money they are closing down
all the day centres
leaving the mentally ill on the streets
with no dignity.
There will be more deaths
over Christmas period
than any other time of the year!
And why should the government want those in
authority shed a tear
When they have all got somewhere to live and
someone to love
Over the worst time of the year
(for me) - Christmas.
Written by RC suffering from mental illness.
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 15
Money can’t buy you love. It can’t buy youhappiness either. Today’s materialistic worldoften urges us to buy the coolest gadgets, thetrendiest clothes, bigger and better things,but research shows that possessions and pur-chases don’t buy us happiness. According toan article on CNN, “by and large, money buyshappiness only for those who lack the basicneeds. Once you pass an income of $50,000,more money doesn’t buy much more happi-ness [according to happiness studies].” Sowhile we are being pushed towards material-ism, it’s for monetary gain by corporations,not for our own happiness.
All around us, there are messages telling us tobuy stuff. On the internet, we see continuousadvertising trying to get us to purchase aproduct or service. It’s the main reason for tel-evision, and movies are continually made withproducts placed throughout; so that we aren’talways sure what is advertising and what wasput in there by the director. Flip on the radioor open up a newspaper or magazine, andyou’re bombarded by more advertising. Go toa shopping center/mall, and the urge to buy
comes from every direction. This message tocontinually buy, buy, buy and that it will some-how make us happier is drilled into our headsfrom the days of Happy Meals and cartoonsuntil the day we die. It’s inescapable. Well,almost. You could go and live in a cabin in thewoods (and that actually sounds nice), or youcould still live in our modern society, but findways to escape materialism.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to escape the trap ofmaterialism, and find happiness in ways otherthan buying stuff online or finding joy in themall. But it is possible.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in
another city” - George Burns
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 16
Around mid-December (2012), David Rodigan resigned
from Kiss FM where he had work for 22 years. Why? In an
interview with Chin (Irish & Chin, USA) he says it was
because he viewed the marginalisation of his radio pro-
gramme into the twilight zone of broadcasting, as unac-
ceptable - the twilight zone is often referred to as the
graveyard shift!
He added that his decision, was not a slight to those radio
broadcasters who choose to keep their listener’s company
after midnight as broadcasters have a duty to keep their
listeners company.
Radio has been David’s love, and he thinks it is unaccept-
able for Programme Directors and managers to put the
music - be it jazz, classical, techno, reggae, the list is long
in a specialist form at a time he regards as socially unac-
ceptable. Reggae, as we all know, is David’s genre, which
has the specialist category, and therefore has been rele-
gated to the midnight to 1am slot.
Historically, 22years the first ever record played on legal
Kiss was 1992.. there were three reggae shows Joey roots,
manassa show and Davids show was on 7-10 on a Monday
night. Over the years, the show was pushed back and
pushed back and recently it was on from 11 – 1pm it was
then reduced from 120 minus to 60 minutes to 1 hour and
it was on from 11 til midnight and then three weeks ago,
he was told that the format had changed once again from
midnight to 1am.
Rodigan felt insulted by the implication was that if you
want to listen to his on Kiss FM, Listeners would have to
wait until after midnight to listen it, in a condensed format
which he found demeaning. David failed to understand
why it was not possible for the show to go on at a time
when it was socially acceptable.
Rodigan states: “The vast majority of people are going to
bed at midnight, and if you are passionate about a partic-
ular type of music and your broadcaster has been given a
right to broadcast by the government is making it difficult
to listen to it, I don’t think it is fair”.
Programmers informed David that “We are living in a new
world, people will listen to a programme at a time when it
is convenient to them, i.e. via the I-player, and because of
this, they are able to replay the show whenever they want
to!”
He was told that other forms of music are more popular
and that Craig David would be taking his spot broadcasting
from Florida.
Rodigan initially accepted the Programmer’s justification
as a reason and started the midnight show for three weeks
but then felt it was not right and resigned.
Rodigan’s show was the only show on KISS FM that played
reggae music, and when his listeners started to complain
about the timing, and David tried to convince them,
unsuccessfully, that they could listen to his show on I-
Player, his conscience would not allow him to continue.
He says: “One evening I went in to record a show, and the
man in the mirror would not accept it”.
Rodigan felt there were double standards and that para-
doxically, if Programmes were saying that it is easy for
people to listen to a show at any time, why did they not
put Craig David’s show on at a later time?
Rodigan admitted that Kiss FM’s
Programme Director of 13 years
has been one of the most success-
ful programme directors, and feels
he knows what he is doing
Rodigan was forced to question and examine why reggae
listenership is decreasing. He accepts that because
Reggae is a specialist genre, there will always be less lis-
16
RESIGNS FROM KISS FM
Blackbright_January2013v4_Copy of October 2012 1/3/2013 11:01 PM Page 17
teners, but that there comes a point, on principle, where
you draw a line on audience figures, because this is what he
needs to be said.
In Rodigan’s experience, the source of the survey for audi-
ence listeners late at night is relatively small compared to
the sample used at other times of the day. “There are too
many other choices at any other time of day, so if there is a
smaller sample, will be by its very nature, possibly to have
spikes”. Apart from that, he feels there is more than
enough justification from Programmers, because there are
so many radio stations, R & B is the new pop. However,
Rodigan claims that programme directors and controllers
have always had a problem with programming reggae music
- he doesn’t know why, but if they have one reggae list, that
is all they have – no more than 3, and about 5 hip hop- why
is it not possible, regardless of figures? Is the music so irrel-
evant that is doesn’t matter? it has been sidelined and mar-
ginalised by people who sees reggae music as getting in the
way of their homogenous type music.
Rodigan recalled that when the reggae station left Capital
Radio in 1990, it was never replaced – Kiss FM was created
to serve the needs for people who wanted to hear reggae.
Rodigan believes, however, that Kiss FM will maintain reg-
gae.
During the interview with Chin,
David recollected that In 1970s,
if you went to a reggae dance,
you didn’t hear soul, and that if
you went to a soul dance, you
wouldn’t hear reggae - there was
a clear division even then. Rodigan acknowledges that reg-
gae has a strong cultural identity – different from any other
form of music, but that since 2007 years, we have seen a
homogenisation of music.
For example, Major Lazer have taken elements of Jamaican
culture and Culture Clash—a clash of different cultures of
music, and different cultures. He said that the event was
attended by 9,000 people and 6,000 tickets were sold in
advance. Rodigan went to Major’s event and said that one
corner ‘Annie Mack presents’ from BBC Radio 1 who plays
all forms of music, and that there the guest selectors like
Lady Dynamite and others. Rodigan noticed a Grime sound
system, who played bass driven music and MCs who rap
over London. He said that the Jamaican roots system
Channel 1 challenged Major Lazer and that each team
exhibited the quality of music that makes them special. He
enthusiastically mentioned the ‘Sleeping with the enemy’
segment, where DJs play music out of character, e.g., Major
Lazer played reggae, customised dubs, and Luciano came
on for Channel One; Major Lazer brought on Johnny
Osbourne, that reiterated that playing this type of reggae,
was playing out of character.
All DJs resorted to ethics of culture clash and then coun-
teracted it - Rodigan emphasised that the event was not a
traditional sound clash.
Chin then asked Rodigan, how sales are measured in the
modern era. People do not purchase music anymore:
“They are comparing it to the sales of other genres, that
is the issue”.
Rodigan continued to educate his lisening audience by
informing them that In 1960s reggae, music did not chart
because the music was bought from West Indian record
shops that they did not make record returns, so did not
reach the charts even though it sold enough to make it on
the charts. For example: “How long will it take” by Pat
Kelly, sold 1,000s of copies – it sold from W I shops not
chart returns shops - reggae was not on the radar.. it did
not exist - reggae music is very much a cottage industry.
Chris Blackwell sold records from the back of a car.
Jamaicans are entrepreneurs are capable of doing stuff in
their own world.
From 1964 record sales to now, the influence of ipad and
media; similarly young people don’t purchase, they sup-
port the band; they go to the concerts - they turn up to
the shows, so the whole idea that they should purchase
music becomes invalid.
Chin then asked again: “So how is it measured? Above
and beyond Itunes, how do you measure the sales of
music?”
Rodigan responded: “There will always be specialist forms
of music that will have the mass appeal that normal pop
music has... Heavy metal is specialist..”
So key factor he believes that the programme directors
are responsible for allowing listenting to listen to special-
ist music at a time that is sociably acceptable.
Look what they have done to my music – why are they
doing this? To presume the music is not relevant is
wrong.. Jamaican music has a tremendous heritage.. go to
Europe.. Japan..
Irie Jam and they have a legal right to broadcast –
Pirate stations - people can get reggae elsewhere.. so
don’t need Kiss FM
17
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18
I AM ME...
“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one elseexactly like me. Everything that comes out ofme is authentically mine, because I alonechose it — I own everything about me: mybody, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all myactions, whether they be to others or myself. Iown my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, myfears. I own my triumphs and successes, all myfailures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become inti-mately acquainted with me. By so doing, I canlove me and be friendly with all my parts. Iknow there are aspects about myself that puz-zle me, and other aspects that I do not know —but as long as I am friendly and loving tomyself, I can courageously and hopefully lookfor solutions to the puzzles and ways to findout more about me.
However, I look and sound, whatever I say anddo, and whatever I think and feel at a givenmoment in time is authentically me. If latersome parts of how I looked, sounded, thought,and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discardthat which is unfitting, keep the rest, andinvent something new for that which I discard-ed. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. Ihave the tools to survive, to be close to others,to be productive, and to make sense and orderout of the world of people and things outsideof me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. Iam me, and I am Okay.”
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (AmericanPsychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)
By Slycrow
How to Tell a Leap of Faithfrom a Stupid Decision
Some psychologists classify every emotion aseither love (attraction) or fear (aversion). It’s notunusual for humans to base almost every deci-sion on fear: fear of rejection, fear of poverty,fear of looking stupid, and so on - fear-baseddecisions lead to hollow victories at best, end-less regret at worst. Only love-based decisionscreate lasting happiness. That’s why the poet—Sara Teasdale advised, “Spend all you have forloveliness/ Buy it and never count the cost.” I’mwith her all the way. Loveliness—emphasis on“love”—is the only thing worth buying.
Now, discriminating between fear-based andlove-based decisions can be confusing,because leaps of faith are frightening evenwhen the choice to make them is based on love.(Just because you really want to have a baby orrun your own business doesn’t mean going intolabour or launching a startup isn’t terrifying.)You can gain more clarity by getting into thehabit of imagining the choices you’d make if youhad no fear of failing, of losing, of being alone,of disapproval. Take a minute now to practice:What clothes would you wear tomorrow ifeveryone were sure to approve? What musicwould you listen to today if nobody else werearound—not even in your mind? What books,movies, or food would you enjoy if no one everjudged you?
Going to a fearless place in your imaginationwill show you clearly which decisions still havefire and energy, and which lose steam withoutanxiety as their fuel. The former are endoge-nous—meaning they arise from your inneressence, not from external pressures—andthey’re the foundation of every great leap.
If following your heart’s desire seems crazy butnot following it is becoming more and more dif-ficult with every passing week or month or year,your choices come down to taking a leap of faithor living with the regret of never having tried.Wouldn’t you rather jump?
All you have to do, is set a date. The leap fromyour mind to your calendar is the moment ofcommitment. It’s that simple. Right now, set adate for any action you can take that will moveyou toward your heart’s desire. Then tell peopleabout it. Those same external opinions that youmust ignore when making a choice can helpimmensely once you’ve chosen. By Martha Beck
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What Has NutritionGot To Do With Me?Robert Deroy-Facey, Nutritionist
When someone has a poor diet, through lack of nutri-tional knowledge they can become depressed, emo-tional and withdrawn. They then seek to find comfortin food or even drugs (legal and illegal) leading to aneven deeper downward spiral into mental illness.There are also the side effects/direct effects of medica-tion on the person’s health. Fix one problem and cause10 more!
I was not always a nutritionist (or as some people callit having a fad about food!) - Initially, I worked for 8years in music retail as a buyer, then various manage-ment jobs until quitting full-time work in 2006. Duringthis period, I spent time with my family, did some soulsearching “to see knowledge of self”, met many inter-esting people, and formed an organisation called MALI(Mama Africa’s Love Inspires) named after my daughter,to commemorate the 200thanniversary abolition ofslavery.
A few months earlier I had a reading and was told to“keep doing what I’m doing as the universe has plansfor me” and a reasoning session (conversation) with anelder told me “that the light was now on and I cannotgo back!” I had started a strong desire to do somethingmeaningful with my life now and the universe wasindeed guiding me to a place of giving.
Referred by my wife, I was offered the post ofCompany Secretary with Rainforest Creations, a RawFoods specialist company in London where I also con-ducted market research, managed festivals and shows.One of the director’s told me “he could see I was‘searching’ but not to worry, the universe will show methe way!” and shortly afterwards, under his recommen-dation I started studying Nutrition and Herbalism.
I passed Nutrition with a distinction and decided toform a business called Consciously Well. I changed mylifestyle, started cleansing and recognising direct linksand affects foods had on our emotions, thoughtprocess and behaviour. My business had two maingoals 1) using consciousness (knowledge of self andspirituality) and 2) wellness (health in mind and body).
In 2010, I resigned from Rainforest Creations, decided
to host 2 radio shows on nutrition on a local inter-net radio station and then started working forHolland and Barrett part-time.
I am now a qualified Advanced Product Advisor,coupled with my knowledge in nutrition, herbalism,anatomy and physiology that I studied in 2011, I amindeed on a new path - one of giving.
I believe good nutrition is extremely important as ithelps to prevent many diseases, all of which can onlyinvade the body if you continually consume poorfoods (for example, foods that raise the level of yourcholesterol or heart pressure). An increasing prob-lem in this country now is obesity and being over-weight which can lead to many ailments like highblood pressure, high blood sugar, heart problems,stroke, depression, joint pain, interrupted sleep andemotional problems.
During consultations with clients I always investigatetheir personal and family nutritional history, as thereis always a root or source to their emotional, physi-cal or mental problem mental. I also recommendcolon cleansing and detoxification to purge the bodyfrom build up of stagnant waste material (foods thathave entered the body and remained) as well as tox-ins and chemicals from processed foods and antibi-otics.
It is advisable foreveryone to con-sume more foodsof colour (e.g.,cabbage, toma-toes, green andyellow peppers,etc) that natureitself has provid-ed for us. Thereare also many
fruits, seeds, nuts, vegetables available that can healthe body and cure many ailments in the body. Goodnutrition is vital to function properly in a world thatis moving too fast.
The answers to wellbeing, do not lie in processedsynthetic foods and drugs but in natural foods - a bal-anced healthy diet and natural herbs. I believe thatwe are of the earth and therefore we should con-sume foods of the earth. “Let food be thy medicine...…and true wealth is health”.
My philosophy is that the mind, body and spirit areconnected, therefore we are all as one - you cannotseparate them and treat them individually. This is whywe are in the state we are in today and so many peo-ple are suffering from misdiagnosis and over pre-scribed drugs that are sometimes only treating thesymptoms and not the root cause.
Robert Deroy-FaceyNutritionistConsciously Well
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“DID YOU KNOW”(Low Tolerance in Relationships)
Should you have a low tolerance policy inrelationships? I would say you should defi-nitely have a low tolerance policy; ratheryou’re male or female. This is very impor-tant as you don’t want the person thatyou’re with to think that you’re a pushoverin any kind of way. When you’re in a rela-tionship with somebody you have to knowthey respect you as much as you mayrespect them. But often times there aremany things that people do to each otherover the course of the relationship thatwould suggest they have no regard for eachother whatsoever. A lot of these things areusually very subtle and you have to watchcarefully in order to catch them. But to theastute individual who pays attention tothese things you’ll catch all of these minorsigns of disrespect.
Some people would suggest that sometimesmen and women make too much out of lit-tle things, but often times they don’t under-stand these little things can and will becomebig things in the future. Some people justdon’t understand it’s best to nip thesethings in the bud now before they get out ofcontrol. This shouldn’t be a problem if theperson that you’re with is considerate ofyour feelings. Why would you want to bewith anyone who wasn’t considerate of yourfeelings? It doesn’t make sense yet it hap-pens every day in numerous relationships.If you want to be one of the people that
break the cycle of high tolerance you mustfirst learn how to recognize small signs ofdisrespect in the beginning. How can youdo this? Here are two ways to get youstarted.
Do not let someone play with yourtime:
Often time’s people in relationships willplay cute little games with each other’stime. One person might say that they’ll beat a certain place at a certain time and notshow up until much later, and in extremecases they may not show up at all.Recognize from the beginning that you’rebeing played with and tested. The otherperson is just trying to see how much theycan get you to put up with before youbreak. If the other person sees that you’regoing to tolerate this kind of behavior thenthey’ll surely keep on doing it. So the firsttime someone tries this on you make sureyou tell them you will not stand for this. Ifthey don’t see things your way stop datingthem.
Don’t stand for little games ofjealousy:
Sometimes when one or the other personin a relationship feels like they’re beingignored they’ll try to play little games withthe person to make them jealous. Theymay try to flirt with a friend of yours or payextra attention to someone they know youdon’t like. This is solely designed to makeyou jealous and make you react. If yougive in to this and react negatively thanthe other person will know exactly what todo to push your buttons so that they getthe required response out of you whenev-er they need to. So if you see this kind ofbehavior rising in a relationship at all,make sure that you check it at the frontdoor and let the other person know youwill not stand for it.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be willing togive a person a chance in a relationship.I’m just saying you shouldn’t tolerate dis-respect and total disregard for your feel-ings. If someone is going to be with you,especially if you plan on being with theperson for a long time then you have tomake sure they understand that you willnot tolerate any disrespect from them nowor in the future. No matter how much youcare about the other person it is never anexcuse to be a doormat for anybody. Lowtolerance in a relationship should definite-ly be at the top of anyone’s priority list.
Bradley Jackson-Pitt
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Love yourself ...from the inside out!When I was at the swimming pool today, a lady I have gotspeaking to told another lady that was there that I some-times do 100 lengths.
This other woman, rather than say ‘Oh well done’ or any-thing complimentary, instead just gave me one of thoselooks up and down, you know the sort only women cangive, which in an instant can wipe out all your confidenceand make you feel like you should be apologising for beingyou!
Her withered look basically said all that was obviouslygoing through her mind, ‘But you’re fat, you can’t possiblybe fit’. Maybe I am being unfair, maybe she wasn’t think-ing that at all, but the look certainly said she was, and thetight little smile she managed afterwards followed it up.
Once upon a time one of those looks would have sent mescurrying back into the changing room and hiding tilleveryone had gone, made me lose all self worth and makeme hate myself.
However today, I just smiled broadly at her, right into herface, and said ‘Yep, I certainly do, and I love it’ and walkedoff to the pool.
I didn’t give a damn what she thought, it made no differ-ence to me, she was nothing to me, I was there to dosomething about my weight, and nothing she said or didwas going to change that, I was doing it for myself, not forher or anybody else’s approval.
~BREAKFAST~
This is one of myfavourites, although mostpeople would probablybalk at the though of eat-ing it at 6.30 in the morn-ing, but I love it. Breakfastis my favourite meal ofthe day, it has to besomething I love and thatexcites me.
So it was two slices of Nimble wholemeal topped with a tinof mackerel in brine (drained obviously), with lots of vine-gar and white pepper.
I toast one side of the bread then before toasting the otherside I spread a little Flora Lighter than Light and arrangethe mackerel on top and season it, then grill. Once toast-ed and warmed through I season liberally again with vine-gar.
I had this with another half a grapefruit, again grilled andtopped with cinnamon. Delicious.
~MID MORNING SNACK~
Today, as I had had such a fillingbreakfast, I just nibbled on someof the almonds, apricots andseeds that I keep in a tub on mydesk.
Just a little handful is enough tokeep the energy boosted and the blood sugar levels sta-ble.
~LUNCH~
Lunch today was not the prettiest to look at, but still tastedgood. I mixed some ready cooked quinoa with some flakedpoached salmon and little brown shrimps, and addedsome chickpeas. I I dressed it a dressing made of rape-seed oil, white wine vinegar, dijon and wholegrain mustardand honey. Then finished it with a squeeze of lemon justbefore I ate it. Was very filling though, didn’t manage to eatit all!
~AFTERNOON SNACK~
Had to go shopping after swimming today so when I gothome I just picked at some mango chunks I had picked up,love mango! They taste so good you forget the are healthy!
Amongst their many, many benefits, they are good for theskin. Mangos contain beta-carotene, which is converted byyour body to vitamin A. That and vitamin C are crucial forskin self-repair. You can even mash them up and make aface mask, great for unclogging pores and reducing pim-ples.
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Photo of little girl by Garfield Hall
Back Cover by Lakshmi Narayan Gupta22
~DINNER~
Tonight was a ‘bung it in and see’ dinner, and it was a hugesuccess!
Bacon, Chorizo and Kale spaghetti.
I chopped a couple of mini chorizo sausages and dry friedthem in a pan to release their oils. I then wiped the pan of theoils. I took some lean bacon medallions, cut them into stripsand added them to the chorizo and cooked it all till crisp.I then added a chopped up red onion and cooked till soft-ened, further adding some chopped up asparagus, a coupleof handfuls of kurly Kale and some frozen peas and let it allcook down a little.
In the meantime I added some wholewheat spaghetti to a panof boiling water and let it cook.
I then added a couple of tablespoons of philadelphia extralight and a ladle of the pasta water and let it melt in. Finally Igave it a good dose of white pepper and some chilli flakes,added the drained pasta and mixed it all together. Servedwith a sprinkle of freshly grated parmesan cheese on top.
It was soooo good and soooo tasty, Matt practically licked thebowl out!!!
~EXERCISE~
So today was back in the pool. My body had had lots of love-ly rest over the weekend and I was full of energy and readyto go again. I absolutely love being in the water, it totally,totally relaxes me. With every stroke I love the feeling ofpushing through the water and feeling it ‘slosh’ back overyour body.
The pool was pretty empty today which always makes mejust keep going for as long as possible whilst I can. I swamfor about 1 hour 15 minutes, and I think I hit just short of 100today, I only got out because I knew I had to go shopping.I heard a saying the other day of ‘Don’t count the laps, justmake sure each lap counts’ and that is what I am now tryingto do. Putting every effort into each lap to ensure I am push-ing my body to its full capacity and getting the most out of it,not overworking it to ensure I reach a certain number! If it hashad enough, I will stop, knowing I have given it a good work-out.
By Josie
http://w8ofmymind.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/love-yourself-from-inside-
out.html
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www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews or www.issuu.com/blackbrightnewsemail: [email protected]
Founder & Managing Editor: Myrna Loy
BB llaacckkbbrriigghhtt NNeewwssTTaakkeess uuss oouutt ooff tthhee ddaarrkknneessss,, iinnttoo tthhee ll iigghhtt !!
Photo of little girl by Garfield Hall
Back Cover by Lakshmi Narayan Gupta
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