Arielle Ford - BIG LOVE Making It Happen eBook 2012

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Making It Happen ~ Answers To The Most Common Questions

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t Manif

esting Love

By ArielleFord & BrianHilliard

BigLove: Making It HappenAnswers to the Most Common Questions About Manifesting LoveBy: ArielleFord & BrianHilliard

Table of contents

Introduction pg 3-4

Is it time to let go? pg 5

I got what I asked for, oops! pg 6

It’s so right and the timing is so wrong. pg 7-8

Dumped and I can’t let go. pg 9

He cheated and now I can’t trust him. pg 10

Will the Law Of Attraction work for me? pg 11-12

Can I have love and independence? pg 13

I made a fool of myself. pg 14

Nothing’s happening. pg 15

Do we get more than one soulmate in a lifetime? pg 16

What more can I do to manifest love? pg 17-18

Why is love so easy for some and hard for others? pg 19

Am I too old? pg 20

How do I know if he is the “one?” pg 21

Am I too damaged? pg 22

How do I learn to trust again? pg 23

How do I know if he is the “one?” pg 24-25

I cut the cords and now they are calling. pg 25

When one partner is spiritual and the other is not. pg 26

Is online dating a necessity? pg 27

Questions? pg 28


introduction

Is it your dream to find a soul mate? A life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you? As someone who didn’t meet and marry my soul mate until I was 44, I learned a lot along the way about what does and doesn’t work in the world of love and romance.

Here’s what I know for sure: finding true love is possible for anyone at any age if you’re willing to prepare yourself, on all levels, to become a magnet for love.

This wonderful Universe of ours is set up to deliver the people and things we draw to us that are con-sistent with our personal belief system. If you don’t believe you will ever find the ONE, then, guess what? You get to be right …you probably won’t.

If, however, you learn to believe that the ONE is not only out there but is ALSO LOOKING FOR YOU, then true love can be yours.

When I was in my early forties I decided to manifest my soulmate using everything I had ever learned about manifestation, psychology, spirituality, and the Law of Attraction. My intentions became crystal clear while I simultaneously cleared out the clutter in my house AND in my heart. I learned and invented techniques, rituals, visualizations and prayers that helped me prepare my body, mind, spirit and home for an amazing relationship. And they worked. I met my husband, Brian, who has exceeded all of my desires and expectations. He was and is everything I ever wished for.

What if I told you that it’s not your job to know HOW your soul mate is going to appear? What if I told you it’s only your job to be ready, willing and open to love. Think about it this way: you really don’t know where air comes from but you do believe that it’s always there for you, right?

The same is true for love. It’s there for you. It’s always been there for you. You just need to remem-ber the love that you are and once you do, the Universe will deliver to you the perfect soul mate.

The basic Law of Attraction states that you will attract to you those things that match your state of belief.

Believing that your soul mate is out there is critical to the preparation of manifestation.

I believe that the Universe is always mirroring back to us our beliefs about our selves and the world. If we believe the world is a loving

and friendly place, then most of the time that will be our experi-ence. But, if we believe the world is a chaotic, stressful and fearful place, then that becomes our reality. So, believing and knowing


that your soul mate is out there is the most important part of the formula.

Prior to meeting Brian 13 years ago, I had a daily ritual in which I would light several candles at sun-set, put on my favorite CD of Gregorian chants and sit in my big, cozy chair. With my eyes closed I would drop into the feeling of remembering the joy of having my soul mate in my life. I would experience these wonderful feelings in every part of my body KNOWING that he was on the way. There were days when the thought that he was very late did cross my mind but I would just let those thoughts go and get back into a state of grace...feeling and knowing that his arrival was assured.

To manifest your soul mate here are the 10 top things to do and remember:

• Bethelovingpersonthatyouare.Findwaystoexpressmorelovetoeveryoneinyourlife. • Liveintheknowingnessthatyouareinaloving,committedrelationship. • Livethattrutheverydayasyousavorthewaitingforyourbelovedtoarrive. • Createa“visionmap”ofyourromanticvisionandlookatitdaily. • Writealistofthemostimportantqualitiesyoursoulmatewillpossess. • Healyourheartofanypasthurtsthatwillpreventyoufrommagnetizingbiglove. • Clearouttheclutterinyourhomeandcreatespaceforyourbeloved(especiallyin your closets). • Createanaltarintherelationshipcornerofyourhome. • Listentoyourintuitiontotakeactionwhenopportunitiespresentthemselves. • Fallinlovewithyourself.Knowthatyouarelovable.

Brian and I know that Big Love is possible for anyone of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love. Continue to live each day in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.

In this book you will discover the answers to the questions we receive from people just like you who read our magazine column, Big Love. For the step-by-step guide to manifesting the love of your life please visit www.soulmatekit.com

We wish you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

introduction (cont.)

http://www.soulmatekit.com


Is it time to let go?Dear Arielle and Brian,

I recently met a wonderful man who seems to understand me. We like the same things but he walked away because his sister is sick and he will be taking care of her. I am very sad about this and told him so. I asked that he keep in touch and he said he would like to do that.

I have been divorced for ten years and have not met anyone like him.

Will it be a good idea for me to hold on to him?

Chelsea

Dear Chelsea,

He sounds like a very loving and caring man and it’s understandable and honorable that he would priori-tize his sister’s care above his own personal relationships at this moment. He seems to have all of the quali-ties that are important for a meaningful relationship. Loyalty for one; you enjoy the same things; and you said he understands YOU! What a fabulous foundation. He also said he would love to keep in touch with you. So, maybe a friendship is where you start. Maybe you can even find ways yourself to lend this “won-derful” man some support during this challenging time in his life. So although you haven’t met anybody like him in 10 years don’t worry about “holding” onto him but think about nurturing the friendship and see where that takes the two of you.

Arielle & Brian


I got what I asked for, oops! Dear Arielle and Brian,

Last Summer I finished reading and doing all of the exercises in The Soulmate Secret. I felt great, expect-ing and believing my soulmate was already there and somehow waiting for me, and that our hearts were already connected.

Soon after I met two men that I believed had the potential to be the soulmate I was manifesting. Both ended up being very interested in me but didn’t have any time to spend with me because they were both workaholics. I am wondering if I should change my soulmate wish list as one of the items I wrote was stating thatmysoulmatewillbea“hardworker.”IfeelmorelonelythaneverandIamwonderingwhatIamdo-ing wrong?

I need your advice urgently, Dani

Dear Dani, First, lets look at EVERYTHING you are doing right: You put in your time, energy, intention and attention and you manifested not one but TWO men that you felt were potential soulmates. That is absolutely fantastic.

You can feel really proud of yourself for this accomplishment. Now, here’s what might need a little adjust-ment. On your soulmate wish list you asked for a hard worker and you ended up with workaholics.

On a certain level, you got what you asked for. Lets examine what you meant by “hard worker.” Are you really asking for someone who has a career that he loves, earns a good living and will be able to contrib-ute financially to your life together? Or, are you asking for someone who has a high-profile position, who earns big money and will allow you to stay home and not work? Or, by hard worker do you mean some-thing else altogether? Whatever it is you really are asking for, you just need to be more specific. And, most importantly, you need to add to your wish list that your soulmate will have the time, energy and interest to spend lots of quality time with you. So, please make sure you spend some more time reflecting on not only the traits and qualities you wish your soulmate to possess, but also write a detailed description of what your lifestyle and love life looks like together.

Once you gain more clarity on the qualities you really seek, you will be that much closer to having your dream come true. Also, remember to “live as if” your soulmate is already in your life and to culti-

vate as much self-love and self-care as you can during this process of meeting your soulmate. You might find that eventually you won’t feel you are doing anything “wrong” and

what can be a fun and joyful process won’t be a “lonely” journey or even an urgent one, but a loving, nurturing and healthy experience that ultimately ends up with the desired outcome – BIG LOVE to you and in manifesting a wonderful partner for life. Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian


It’s so right and the timing is so wrong.Dear Arielle & Brian

I left my marriage of 17 years almost five years ago. Something I never thought I’d do, but I felt stifled and couldn’t grow in the direction that my soul was calling me to. It was a very difficult breakup that estranged me from my children for a quite a while. With a lot of patience and love, we reconnected, but it was an extremely challenging time for all of us. Needless to say… a lot of heartbreak. I hadn’t dated in years and I was yearning for love and companionship but living in a very rural area, I felt pretty hopeless about meet-ing somebody special.

Last year, out of the blue, I met this beautiful man in our tiny village. The sparks were flying and I looked into his eyes and felt like I was home. We had a wonderfully magical and intense romance that lasted for a month(hewasinourvillageforwork).Thenhewentbackhome,hundredsofmilesaway.

He’s a single dad of two little kids and I have children here, so neither one of us is in a position to move to be close to the other. Ultimately, he decided that he did not want to be tied up in a long-distance romance. I was crushed. We still talk on the phone and I find myself hanging on to hope that things will change yet I feel stuck on an emotional rollercoaster.

I am outgoing and attractive and I have an incredibly rich social life, yet I have this yearning and pining for this man that I spent this incredible time with. I believed the stars were aligned when we met and every-thing felt so right, and now there is this rude awakening. I feel something precious is slipping away...

I’m stuck and I wanted to share this with you, as I really feel I need some guidance here.

Hopefully,

Louisa


It’s so right and the timing is so wrong.(CONTINUED)

Dear Louisa,

First things first: we really have compassion for you that this romantic courtship hasn’t worked out to your ex-pectations. But in all seriousness, a very thoughtful man made a very hard decision under extremely differ-ent (difficult?) challenges that involved many loved ones as well. You now have to make that same hard decision. You have to choose to let him go. This doesn’t mean that you have to stop loving him but it does mean that you have to begin managing your thoughts and emotions accordingly., especially when you are thinking about him or obsessing about “what might have been.” Given the extremely-difficult circum-stances for the possibility of a healthy, viable relationship, it seems as though the purpose of your coming together was to heal you and show you that love is possible again. Accordingly, we would suggest that you create a ritual for yourself; a way to celebrate and show gratitude for all the gifts you received from being with this man. And then give yourself as much time as you need to detach completely from him before you begin to think about manifesting new love. This also means giving up the phone relationship for a time until you no longer have romantic feelings for him. When you feel you are ready, please dive back into The Soulmate Secret and do the exercises you feel will open your heart to the possibility of a meaning-ful relationship again.

Please do your best to remember and honor (and this is important) that just because you will not be with this man doesn’t mean you can’t find a small place in your heart where he will live with fondness and deep gratitude. After all, this romance reignited the flame for the possibility of Big Love and you now know thatBig Love can and will flourish in the right circumstances at the opportune time.

Arielle & Brian


Dumped and I can’t let go. Dear Arielle & Brian,

Two years ago, the love of my life left me. We are gay but she told me she didn’t want to be gay anymore and was on a religious tangent. Six months later she was in a relationship with another woman. Our pas-sionate connection was indescribable. Our intense magnetic bond was not only physical, but emotional andspiritual.However,sheleftme,soIobviouslywasn’t“theone”forheranymore. Shealwayssaidwehada“special”relationshipandIhonestlyfeelshestilllovesmeandwillreturntomesomeday. I guess you could say I’m obsessed with her. We’ve had no contact and I don’t know whether tokeepmyloveforheraliveinmyheart(asIhaveforthepasttwoyears)orlethergoandmanifestanewsoulmate.

Thank you for your help.

Susannah

Dear Susannah,

Here’s the question to ask yourself: do I want to spend my life with someone who loves, cherishes and adores me, and if so, by when? If you answered yes, and soon, then it’s time to let her go and open yourself to new love. Otherwise you can wait, and remain in this state of obsession (your word not ours) and hope she comes back. But, even if she comes back, is this the relationship of your dreams? Or, to be hon-est, is it even healthy? In the book The Path to Love, Deepak Chopra beautifully outlines the spiritual mean-ing of love and how it is best measured:

Love can heal, renew, make us safe, inspire us, and bring us closer to God.

Susannah, if you were completely honest with yourself, is your current situation invoking these feelings of love? We all have many potential soulmates (lets remember there are 6.5 billion people on the planet

and right now you only need one), so you get to choose who to devote your time, energy and life to with the prize ultimately being a soulmate to experience the type of love Deepak so

eloquently describes. Isn’t this what your heart is really calling for?

Arielle & Brian


He cheated and now I can’t trust him.Dear Arielle and Brian,

Three months ago I discovered that my husband of six years has been having a year-long affair with a woman he met on a trip to Phoenix where he often travels for business. He has apologized to me and swears he has broken up with this woman. I feel enraged, betrayed, devastated and heartbroken. I truly believed we were soulmates. Now he wants me to simply forgive and forget. He says he has apologized and I need to get over it. I still love him but I no longer trust him and I don’t know what to do. Is it over? Julia

Dear Julia,

We are so sorry for your pain and we are sending you a giant cosmic hug. For whatever reason, whether it’s guilt, shame or ignorance, your husband can’t be with your feelings, which is why he is hoping that you will just get over it. We want you to know that the emotions you are experiencing are perfectly normal and natural. While there are no broken bones or black and blue bruises on your physical body, the trauma to your mind, spirit and psyche is the equivalent of having been in a major car accident. It’s important for you to first and foremost find a trusted therapist to help you work through your feelings and guide you through the healing process. Now is not the time to make any life-changing decisions about your marriage, but it is a time for self-love, self-nurturing and reflection. Just as it can take weeks or months for a broken bone to heal so too will it take time to heal from this betrayal. Give yourself the time to heal and the space you need to express and explore your feelings.

We know of several incidents where one party in a soulmate relationship cheated and they eventually worked their way back into forgiveness, love and joy, but it doesn’t happen overnight. There is no timetable to healing your heart. You said you still love your husband and it’s important to know that you can still love

him, the imperfect human, while not condoning his behavior. Hopefully, he will be willing to enter therapy with you and to take responsibility for what he has done. Whether he does that or not,

we strongly and lovingly suggest that you commit to doing whatever it takes to heal yourself and surround yourself with friends and family that love you and have

your best interests at heart.

Many blessings,

Arielle & Brian


Will the Law Of Attraction workfor me?Dear Arielle and Brian:

I am 46 years old and am working on manifesting in my life my ideal soulmate. I know others who have found love through dating websites, but I’ve chosen to work on the Law of Attraction, which I discovered last year. I’m very clear about what I’m looking for in a woman. My biggest deficit is I’ve yet to experience a romantic relationship in my life.

I’ve been doing the suggested ‘feelingizations’ and creating space. Yet I really don’t know how to start taking action or what I can do to manifest that special woman. I’m often told that I have a loving, nurturing energy that puts people at ease, and I’m also physically active. Most days I feel very excited knowing my soulmate is on her way; occasionally, though, part of me wonders if this soulmate manifestation only works for other people. It feels like a step back when I notice such feelings creeping in. Does this work for every-one, and what can I do to strengthen my ability to attract a right woman into my life? Deep down, I do know and feel that I deserve to truly love and be loved as much as anyone else.

Love, Jay


Will the Law Of Attraction workfor me? (CONTINUED)

Dear Jay:

First of all we would like to honor all the work you’ve done to prepare yourself for someone special in your life. It sounds like it’s really paid off in terms of your own deeper understanding of who you are and what you truly want in a relationship—congratulations!! Those qualities you’ve developed will only enhance and enrich your own experience as well as your partner’s.

Please continue with the “feelingizations” and all the other practices you have been committed to be-cause you want always to build on the solid foundation you’ve already created. Most importantly though, keep your focus on the “knowing” that your Soulmate is on the way and that you are “deserving” of that special person’s love as well as loving her in return. The more days you wake up with that “excitement” that the love of your life is truly out there coupled with the KNOWING from your heart that you WILL make someone very happy will only generate more and more delicious soulmate opportunities for you. Those are all YOUR words not ours!! And if those “feelings creep in” of uncertainty don’t be hard on yourself or think you’ve taken two steps backward, just refocus on the KNOWING and DESERVING (and from your heart) send love to yourself and your future soulmate. Jay, these practices do work for other people and they will work for you too!!

But here’s the really, really, really, important part of the equation my friend—it’s time to start dating!! It’s time to apply these effective practices, techniques and tools to good use so the Universe can support and ultimately reward you for all your beautiful and integral efforts in finding the love of your life!! We have quite a few friends who have found their soulmates on dating websites, in yoga classes, gyms and other unusual venues. All of this can be really fun!

And, since you haven’t had much experience with dating or relationships, we would also suggest that you consider hiring a relationship coach. Coaches can be an invaluable source of inspiration and wisdom to help guide you and give you confidence during this vulnerable period in your life. You can find information on several coaches at www.soulmatesecret.com on the favorite links page. Jay, we know you can do this and we look forward to hearing back from you when you have found “the one.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

http://www.soulmatesecret.com


Can I have love and independence?Dear Arielle and Brian:

IamambivalentabouthavingasoulmatebecauseIlovemy“space”andIdon’twanttogiveupmyindependence and wonderful life. My last marriage took me years to recover from. My husband was very controlling and smothering. How can I have both love and independence?

Love,

Jenny

Dear Jenny,

Guess what? Not all men are smothering and controlling. In facts, zillions of men would just LOVE an inde-pendent woman like you!

One of the main reasons we so strongly believe in creating a “soulmate wish list” is for exactly this reason. You know better than anyone that type of person your heart desires and HOW you would prefer your rela-tionship to be structured. Why is the list important? Think of it this way: When you are looking for a new job, you have a list of items you need this new job to provide in terms of income, tasks, commuting time, work environment, possibilities for promotions, etc. When you go to the grocery store you bring a list of the items you need to stock your fridge and pantry with in order to feed your family. You also need a list to place your order with the Universe for a soulmate. On this list we suggest that you begin by asking for a partner that is “ready, willing, and available (very important) for a long-term, committed, monogamous marriage” (or “relationship” if you don’t care to be married). Next, you want to be specific about geography if you plan to stay in the city you presently live in – you want to ask for someone who already is in your area or is willing to move. Then, you can add the most important traits and qualities you want them to possess, including statements that may say things like “appreciates and enjoys my independence,” etc.

We encourage you to ask for what you REALLY want, even if that means you want a soulmate who is will-ing to live in separate homes or different cities. (Wasn’t it Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy who lived across the street from each other?)

So often people just “hope” that the perfect man or woman will magically appear and then they settle for the next person that shows up, even if that person isn’t a great match for them.

To the best of your ability, be relaxed and lighthearted about your soulmate search. And, never doubt the Universe’s ability to deliver your true love or

your own ability to discern what true love really means for you.

Jenny, remember in Big Love you can have both love and independence.

Arielle & Brian


I made a fool ofmyself.Dear Arielle & Brian,

I totally resonated with The Soulmate Secret and did 100% of all the processes, working authentically on lov-ing myself in a way I had never done before. I was happily savoring my time while waiting for my true love to walk into my life until I irrationally, aggressively and in an angry way contacted an ex-love interest. I now feel like I sabotaged everything I was trying to create and I am now having a really hard time forgiving my-self. What I did was very ineffective and just made me feel like a fool. What kind of healing or books would you suggest for me? Thank you so much for any words of advice.

Lots of Love & Appreciation,

Leslie

Hi Leslie,

Before we get started please know we have lots of “love and appreciation” for YOU! Your honesty, cour-age and vulnerability needs to be acknowledged and if we were with you right now we’d shower you with infinite amounts of comfort hugs and hopefully provide you a “soft place” to land. So, please reach out to your friends and family for that infusion of love and support—we all deserve that Leslie!! And then begin to REMEMBER that YOU will get through this but you will want to invest all the time you need to nurture yourself and really “feel” the full range of feelings you’re experiencing, which might be fear, guilt, anger, sadness, anxiety, or whatever might show up, but please be patient with that process.

When your love and light begins to dissolve some of those darker moments and you’re beginning to feel a sense of joy and gratitude again, please go back to your processes of building on that unconditional love for yourself. Then once again you will start to celebrate your life and your opportunities for a loving relation-ship—you will be “in the flow.” Leslie, YOU WILL get to that beautiful place you mentioned where you were “happily savoring” your own authenticity and knowing that a man would be very fortunate if he were to meet you at this time and place in your life. What a delicious and deserving intention and one we know you will manifest!!

Leslie, our response to your questions are just a reminder of how beautiful you are and that you were so successful with the earlier work and preparation you did to prepare for your soulmate. That time

spent was not lost and in fact it serves as a wonderful foundation to build on, and your spirit is even stronger for what you just went through. So, with continued heart intention,

a daily celebration of how beautiful you are (inside and out) and an open heart and mind to your infinite possibilities, you will manifest the love you desire and absolutely deserve!!

Arielle & Brian


Nothing’s happening.Dear Arielle and Brian,

I keep visualizing my soul mate and feel really open to him, and nothing is happening. What am I doing wrong?

Thanks for your help,

Isabel

Dear Isabel,

Why would you assume you are doing something wrong? Opening your heart and life to manifesting a soul-mate requires patience because when your will and God’s will align, that is what we call Divine Timing. In preparing to manifest your soulmate, an element of willful effort, as well as big elements of faith and des-tiny, is involved. It’s that powerfully-synergistic combination of the three that will get you where you want to go. As your heart opens and you begin to feel totally ready for your beloved, your soulmate might be in the process of coming to you, but still has to work through some details or issues. When you eventually do get together you will discover that you really did meet at the exact divine or magical time for both of you. Until then, we suggest that you ask yourself these questions:

*Do I believe that I am deserving of a soulmate and do I believe he is also looking for me?*Am I clear about the nature of the person and relationship that I now wish to manifest?*Have I healed the baggage (issues or wounds) of my past relationships?*Do I love myself and sincerely enjoy the pleasure of my own company?*Do I have the true dedication, time, energy and resources to nurture another?*Am I living as if my soulmate were already with me while I savor the waiting of his arrival?

You may see areas in which to invest some of your time, energy, attention and intention or you may be 100% ready and just need to savor the waiting.

Either way, the exciting part is that it’s your choice, Isabel. So, please know we support you 1000% and we’re sending you tons and tons of love, care and prayers for the

outcome your heart and soul desires. Arielle and Brian


Do we get more than one soulmate in a lifetime?Dear Arielle & Brian, I am reading The Soulmate Secret and doing the exercises you suggest. Now I am wondering how many soulmates can we have in this life because I am feeling connection and seeing more than one person as a potential soulmate. The bottom line here is: how am I going to know who is the one? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!

Thanks,

Maria

Dear Maria,

You are right, we do have the possibility of many soulmates in a lifetime. How much fun is that? There is no set number, just a nourished soul—YOU! If you have made your soulmate wish list, that will certainly help you in determining who the right person might be for you. They should definitely match the most important elements on your list that you value. There should also be powerful chemistry and mutually- shared visions for a healthy and loving life together. Once you align your list with someone and actually meet them—you probably will get severe “goose bumps” and from the deepest depths of your heart and soul there will be a loud and courageous “YES” that this is the one, this is how it happens!! “YES” I’m going to TRUST this voice and acknowledgement from source and “YES” I’m going to discern from my heart and soul as I move for-ward that this inner voice will assist me in determining if this brand new relationship blossoms and flourishes or maybe just settles into a wonderful friendship. Maria, it doesn’t get any better than that does it?

Best wishes and please know we’re sending you lots of love and support in your amazingquest for Big Love.

Arielle & Brian


What more can I do to manifest love?Hi Arielle and Brian,

My name is Sharon. I am 42 years old. I have practiced some sort of metaphysics since I was in my teens. The past 15 years, I have been mainly focused on manifesting my soul mate. During these many years, I have felt angry and discouraged many times because he is still not here.

The surprising thing is, every time I became angry and discouraged I felt that even though it was not work-ing I had no other choice but to move forward because I had learned a little bit more and it was impossible to live in that place that I passed again. Also, I knew the past was filled with pain and did not see much sense in returning to a place that did not work before.

I have read tons of books, made many, many lists that are at least 10 years old. I have meditated, you nameitandIhavedoneitandamstilldoingit.Icontinuetouse“new-age”techniquestomanifestmysoul mate because I do believe they work and have realized just how much they have helped me grow into the person who I know is now ready and deserves the man and type of marriage that I seek.

Everything else in my life is great. I just have this deep longing for my soul mate and the type of marriage I know is right for me even though I did not see any examples around me growing up. I do meet men often but I am unwilling to go out on dates just for the sake of going out or being in a relationship with a man that I know is not right for me.

I feel comfortable identifying men that I cannot envision having the type of marriage I know I deserve and desire since I have learned through my practice to be very honest with myself and to look at the not-so-nice parts of my personality and determine whether I am what I am asking the Universe to bring to me.My question is, what additional work do I need to do within to manifest my soul mate?

Regards, Sharon


What more can I do to manifest love? (CONTINUED)

Hi Sharon,

Before we get started we just want to give you thanks and praise for the commitment and discipline you’ve had over the years to grow as a person and open your heart to all the possibilities this wonderful journey has to offer. We also commend you for the discernment you’ve used as well as relying on your intuition in not jumping into a relationship that didn’t feel right to you. It is a valuable example so many of us could fol-low.

Sharon, please consider this suggestion to add to your repertoire—continue to do all the great things you’re doing to explore your deeper self, continue to shine a light on your shadow self and please stick with all the exercises and prescriptions in THE SOULMATE SECRET. But do the work with this intention– “I’m going to have as much FUN as I possibly can!” So, the next time you feel discouraged or angered, move into your heart space and send yourself, your friends and the world more love. This will lighten your load and immediately lift your spirits. You might even consider going out on those dates you’ve turned down in the past just to have more fun and develop more friendships. It feels like your intuition is well tuned (for knowing who the “right” guy is for you), so having a good time only benefits you and the world. And who knows, maybe after the third or fourth date the sparks might fly! Wouldn’t that be fun, Sharon? And please honestly reassess your definition of marriage—it might be just right but it might also be that you’ve set the “bar” a little too high for any man to jump over. It always works best when you can create enough space of love, accep-tance and trust for the man to grow into his higher self and allow him to find his way and (most importantly) follow your guidance in this process as well. You’ll never have that opportunity if the checklist is too long or your demands are unrealistic.

Sharon, you are an amazing person and just “know’ your Soulmate is close by. So be as patient as possible because spirit has no timetable. And do your best to detach from any results, expectations or expected outcomes and trust the Universe will support you in delivering your Soulmate to you…in the meantime have

as much FUN as your heart desires!!! You obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

You obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

Arielle and Brian


Why is love so easy for some and hard for others?Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been fortunate enough to come across your recent work, The Soulmate Secret. The guidance you provide is sound and amazingly simple. The ideas suggest much of what the Hindu religion teaches, of which I am a faithful follower. I find it very refreshing!

I hope to further seek your insight on a question that may innately seem contrary to what you are trying to teach in your book, but plagues me nonetheless. As I was reading, I kept wondering to myself, why are there individuals whom love seems to elude, but then there are others who–without the use of feng shui, living as if, or any of the other suggestions you offer–just find, with minimal to no effort, what most of us are searching for? At the risk of sounding ungrateful, it is frustrating and unfair to know that without having done anything wrong, someone like myself is put in the position of constantly wanting something that just falls into many others’ laps.

I have discussed the issue at great lengths with a few of my close friends, and while comforting and sup-portive, there has been little progress in my journey toward coming to terms with this disparity and under-standing it for what it is. I am hoping you might be able to find a moment to share with me your thoughts on the matter.

I do appreciate your time and I look forward to hearing from you!Regards,

Mallika

Hi Mallika,

We think the simple answer is Karma. Please continue to be grateful for your beauty, intuition and intelli-gence and TRUST that there is good reason why it isn’t “easy” and “know” that YOU DO have the power to manifest the love of your life. Also, be patient and know that you are not in charge–SPIRIT is and it does not operate in our time/space dimension.

We would suggest focusing more on your own personal growth, nurture more and more self love and “FEEL-ING’ what it will be like when that Beautiful, Aware, Conscious, Loving Man shows up for you in such a big

way that it will immediately dissolve any time to wonder or worry about what other people are doing with their love lives–you will be having too much fun living out your own dreams.

Mallika, please know we’re your biggest fans and that we’re holding a powerful loving intention that your Soulmate is nearby and your hearts will connect soon.

Arielle and Brian


Am I too old?Dear Arielle and Brian,

My name is Maria and I’ve been raising my two daughters on my own for 15 years, working very hard to provide the best that I could for them. Now that they are both in college and I am 57 years old, I have de-cided to think a bit about myself, and who knows, maybe find my soulmate.

I have read your book, made the treasure map, listened to the feelingizations every night before going to sleep, and I have even signed myself up on a dating website here in Melbourne, Australia. Nothing has happened to me at all, am I too old? Do soulmate success stories only happen to rich people and CEOs or does it happen to ordinary people like me, too?

Thank you,

Maria

Dearest Maria,

Before we get started with your question about you finding love in your future, please know that the two of us are giving you a standing ovation in our office right this minute as well as dancing on top of our desks to celebrate YOU! Please follow our lead and do a quick celebration dance (I’m serious) in your house to honor your contribution to the planet for raising two beautiful, independent young adults and sharing your deepest love and wisdom to young souls who needed your guidance.

Cheers Maria!!!

Now...if you did your celebration dance I’m sure it brought a smile to your face (maybe even some belly laughter) and a warmth to your heart—please try that out daily because that will be the quickest way to connect with your lovely spirit, Maria. I think you just need to kick start your love engine and the key to that begins with as much love, laughter and tons of fun that you can muster!

So, please give yourself some time each day to dance, laugh, sing, or just go for a walk to reconnect with your spirit and then go back to all those wonderful practices you outlined in your e-mail and do them with passion and fun. And finally, please remember to nurture and care for yourself in this process and please be patient and accepting of what unfolds with no real strong attachment to any expectations or results that you might place on yourself. Maria, hopefully these simple suggestions will help you align yourself with a soulmate. We know that ASKING for love is one of the most difficult things for anyone to risk but by risking it from your deepest heart, you open a door that will never close again. This holds true for all walks of life. So

yes, Maria, soulmate success stories can manifest for the rich, the poor, all colors, all religions. The entire global family.

We are sending you our love and prayers and we’ll continue to dance on the tabletops in your honor and to wish you all the best in finding your soulmate.

Arielle & Brian


How do I know if he is the “one?”Dear Arielle and Brian:

When you meet your soulmate, do you know it pretty much right away, and if things go wrong, is he then not your soulmate? How do you know, if things seem great and then fall apart?

I have a situation that is unique, and I’m not sure what to make of it. I am getting mixed signals and even though I am in my 40s, I don’t know how to navigate this. Does the path of true love always run smooth if the person is your soulmate? I don’t know whether to give up or wait it out.

Thanks,

Lynn

Dear Lynn,

Thank you so much for your very important question—you certainly are not alone with these thoughts and feelings regarding your loved one. I would lovingly suggest you navigate this from an open heart and trust the answers will be provided for you. Your concern and doubt might originate from your ego, which naturally tries to protect you. So, please enlist your amazing intuition to help you gain some clarity on these “mixed signals.” Your intuition is truly the best “tool” in your “toolbox” to expand your awareness, receive deeper insights and discern (from the heart). Living from this place will help you to hopefully grow the rela-tionship, heal the relationship or at the least understand from a place of love and not resentment, despair or anger that the relationship isn’t serving the two of you. Lynn, let’s give it a try—close your eyes and focus on your heart for a few minutes and actually “feel” love being showered upon you from your beloved, a pet, source, God whatever and whoever will give you immediate “goose bumps” and then answer these questions. Are you inspired when you’re with your beloved? Do you feel healed? Do you feel safe and secure? Do you feel renewed? Are your fears dissolving? If you’re “feeling” good about what comes up for you then you’re truly on the right path to a healthy, authentic, sacred relationship. If things are clouded and you haven’t raised the expectation bar too high for your man, then be honest with yourself and your beloved and take the steps to go your separate ways or at the least take some time away from each other.

Lynn, all relationships (soulmates included) are never smooth all the time but if you live from the heart I promise that you will feel filled up more often and the turbulence will be

minimized. I think with the help of your intuition you’ll never have to ask your-self whether you have to “give up” on the relationship or “wait it out.” The answer will be clear and come from within—you’ll just want to “dive in” for more BIG LOVE!!!

Arielle & Brian


Am I too damaged?Dear Arielle and Brian:

I have been divorced for nearly 10 years from someone who really loved me but constantly cheated on me. I have been on a spiritual path for many years now, I have done affirmations and made vision boards, butinspiteofmybesteffortsto“getoutthere”andmeetsomeonenew,nothingeverseemstohappen.What do you suggest?

Thank you,

Evelyn

Dear Evelyn,

Brian and I went to see the movie LAST CHANCE HARVEY recently. What moved me most about this tender film (which tells the story of two people at mid-life discovering the possibility of love and happiness) was the moment toward the end of the film when Harvey (Dustin Hoffman) makes it very clear to Kate (Emma Thompson) that he wants to have a relationship with her. Kate, a middle-aged, single woman who has been hurt too many times in the past, says to Harvey:

“I’m not going to do it because it will hurt. Not right now, maybe, but soon - there will be a ‘it’s not quite working is it’ or a ‘I need some space’ or whatever it is and it’ll end and it’ll hurt and I won’t do it, I won’t and…I… I don’t want this… I think it’s actually easier for me to be disappointed.”

As I sat in the dark theater, waiting for Kate to snap out of her misery and say “YES” to this man who was taking a stand for her, I realized that Kate had just said out loud the thoughts so many singles have said to themselves: that love is just too hard and at some level accepting disappointment is EASIER than taking a risk to truly experience love.

Evelyn, right now you get to make a choice. You can choose to give up on love or you can decide that you deserve to find your soulmate and create the life of your dreams with him or her. If you think it’s too late consider this: I did it at age 44. My mother-in-law Peggy did it at age 80.

The first step is to make the choice to put your “intention” and “attention” on your love life. The next step is to become humble enough to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and to forgive those who have hurt you in the past. Having purified your heart of bitterness and regrets, you’ll have renewed clarity

to create your soulmate wish list, your Treasure Map, and to set about doing all of the fun, energiz-ing projects, prayers, rituals and feelingizations that are outlined in The Soulmate Secret

www.soulmatesecret.com

Come on, what are you waiting for? Start manifesting your soulmate today and add more love to the world.

Arielle & Brian



How do I learn to trust again?Dear Arielle and Brian:

Three years ago I met someone who I strongly believe in my heart is my soulmate. We are engaged and have lived together for the past three years. I discovered he cheated on me and I told him to leave the house. He has groveled, begged for me to take him back and acknowledged that it was a terrible mistake.

My question is, how can a soulmate cause so much pain? How can someone I love so dearly do this? Part of me wants him to come back, but the hurting part of me wants to let go. I have been honest with my thoughts and let him know where he stands. He asked me today what can he do to regain my trust and have me back?

Hope you can clear my mind a bit. Totally confused here.

Betsy

Dear Betsy,

Thank you for sharing your feelings regarding your love relationship with such honesty. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and heart vulnerability to ask the difficult questions and process these important issues. If we may, we would love to ask you a few more questions in hopes of you gaining more insight instead of assuming we might have all the answers.

You said that in your heart and intuitive guidance he is your soulmate, but do you feel a soulmate would cause you so much pain? Do you feel a soulmate would have to expend so much energy defending his or her actions? Do you feel like he has provided you a “soft place” to land? Has the relationship been healing and nurturing for you? Were you inspired by his devotion and unconditional love for you? Has he helped to remove your fears or support your aspirations?

These are important questions for you to answer from your heart. Your answers will help you determine if he has served you and your relationship at the “Soul” level. We have always honored and respected loving relationships that can work through these very difficult issues with integrity, forgiveness and the most impor-tant ingredient– trust.

Every one of us deserves a healthy and vibrant relationship with the one we love but you specifically asked us to reflect on your questions from a soulmate perspective. Hopefully our response will help you with your

confusion. We will be sending lots of love and prayers to you and your partner no matter what road you take for the two of you.

Betsy, just know you have most likely helped many people who are in a similar situation to the one you currently find yourself in and maybe this can assist them in gaining some clarity and insight into their own loving relationship.


Arielle & Brian


How do I know if he is the “one?”Dear Arielle and Brian:

I have been in a relationship for nearly five years. I feel very safe, comfortable and care deeply for this person. He loves me unconditionally and he is there for me more than anyone I have ever been with. The problemisthatIdon’tfeellikeheismy“soulmate”.HowdoIknowifheistheONE?

Thanks,

Virginia

Dear Virginia,

First of all, we would like to take this moment to really honor what you’ve manifested in your relationship over the past five years with your partner. Those wonderful attributes of safety and comfort are extremely nourishing and rewarding. And for you to care for somebody as much as you do and to have somebody LOVE you unconditionally is a blessing and certainly a solid foundation for a LOVING relationship.

To assist you with your question, “How do I know if he is the ONE?“, we would ask you to please shift your attention and feelings to your heart regarding yourself and your partner. If it helps focus your breath and the experience of something or someone you feel infinite love for into your heart for 10 seconds or so and then send that love, care and appreciation to yourself and your partner. (The Institute Of HeartMath refers to this effective technique as Heart Lock-ins.) This will add buoyancy and regenerative energy to your entire system as well as allow you to get in touch with a perspective of greater clarity and expanded awareness.

Now, if you’re comfortable, please look and “feel into” your partner as “Soul” or as some might refer to as “essence.” With this deeper recognition we have a unique opportunity to realize (and feel) that our rela-tionship can potentially be unconditional and limitless. Connecting with each other’s Soul or essence gives us the sacred opportunity to reveal our deeper selves and therefore communicate our deepest fears and insecurities to each other. Communicating those vulnerabilities from our hearts feeds us, supports us and nurtures our ability to love our partners and ourselves more than we ever imagined. It will also help you (with honesty and courage) to look at the possibility that you have projected your own fears, judgments and

unfair demands and expectations onto the relationship. If you have found this to be true, please be easy and gentle with yourself, but use that reservoir of love you have been building up

through your Heart Lock-ins and direct that frequency of love to dissolve those energies around your fears and anxieties as well as “take out” some of the

significance of those judgments and any feelings of anger and despair that might be weighing you down. You may begin to see the issues and dynam-ics impacting your relationship in a different light and therefore respond quite differently to each interaction or potential conflict. There is a good

chance you could even see your partner in an entirely different light as well—-maybe even as THE ONE!!!!


Virginia, Romantic Soul Love is the doorway through which we can become much bigger in respect to our lives, our laughter, and most definitely the LOVE the two of you will share. But wherever this sacred journey takes you we only wish for you Big, Big Love. Every once in a while take your wonderful guy by the hand and let loose with some big FUN—-you might even consider “Dancing Under The Stars” or “Taking a Walk in the Rain”–however daring you want to be just hold onto each other’s hands and dive into the infinite “Ocean of Love and Mercy” with this beautiful guy and commit to open up your heart a little more every step of the way and see what happens!!! Something in the process might just shift within you and you could find yourself in the grips of “BIG LOVE.”

Arielle & Brian

I cut the cordsand now they are calling.Dear Arielle & Brian,

Since I read the Soulmate Secret and did the exercises to heal my past relationships and cut the energetic cords to past lovers, four of my old boyfriends and my former husband have called wanting to reconnect with me. What’s up with that?

Thanks for your help,

Cindy

Dear Cindy,

Congratulations! The inner healing you are doing is working and the energetic dynamic is shifting. The art and majesty of your rituals and powerful intentions is literally transmuting the energetic density that was weighing down the possibility of unconditional sacred love and abundance in your previous relationships.

These men are now actually feeling different about themselves and something new and differ-ent about their earlier union with you. This doesn’t mean that you are totally free to re-en-

gage in these relationships (unless you suddenly realize that one of them could be “the one”), but it does mean that you are freed up to seriously discern,

from your deepest heart, and gain more clarity on the issues that previously impacted these relationships. As you continue to do the inner and outer work of manifesting a soulmate, opportunities for more and more healing will spontaneously arise. Enjoy the process!


Arielle & Brian

When one partner is spiritual and the other is not.Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been married for ten years. Three years ago I began a serious spiritual path to discovering the awe-some abundance of possibilities in the spiritual world. I have asked my husband to join me on this journey. I have told him that I love him and I long for more romance and spontaneity. His response was very nega-tive and he says I am forcing him into something he is not comfortable with. He surfs, windsurfs and plays guitar and he says that this is a way of connecting to Spirit. Do you think a marriage can survive if one partner embraces the spiritual journey and the other does not?

With love,

Vivienne

Dear Vivienne,

We can feel your pain. So many couples face this challenge. First we want to ask you to do your best to honor your husband’s spiritual path of surfing, windsurfing and playing guitar. Connecting to Mother Nature and all her beauty is a powerful and direct path to God (or whatever you wish to call it). Remember, we are all riding different vehicles but hopefully arriving at the same destination. If you honor his path with de-votion and respect then it will be easier for him to come around to your request for abundant intimacy and playful spontaneity. As you know, we come into a marriage with different histories, wounds and tools to navigate this wonderful thing we call sacred union. The path is a daily opportunity to practice love, com-passion, gratitude and fierce grace. Our sense is that the deeper issue for you is not so much one of shared

spiritual path, but some other disconnect that you may want to explore individually or as a couple with a therapist or counselor.

Arielle & Brian


Is online dating a necessity?Hello Arielle & Brian,

I constantly have people telling me that I should pursue online dating. I am not sure if this is a sign from the Universe(ornot)butIfeelabsolutelynoinspirationwhatsoevertodothis.Theideajustbringsbadvibes.Ifyou do not take the signs the Universe provides, does it stop orchestrating ways of bringing you a soulmate? I know the LOA is always in play, but I am still concerned that since I am not acting on the Universe’s sign (becausethereisnoinspiration)thatitstillsendsanegativemessagetotheUniverse.Also,Ibrieflymetamanatmywork(acustomer)wholookedexactlylikethetypeofguyIvisualized(rightdowntotheexactshirt and jeans). Unfortunately, I was too focused on my work to pay much attention to him. I am planning to visualize seeing this particular man again, but I’m wondering if that will limit my chances of manifesting anyone else just in case he isn’t my intended soulmate. Please advise! Thanks,

Bonnie

Hi Bonnie,

We don’t believe that you have to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do in order to manifest your soulmate. It sounds like online dating is NOT for you, so stop discussing it with other people and rehash-ing it with yourself.

Remember, the process of attracting your soulmate is one of magnetism. When you make the choice to live as if your soulmate is already a part of your life, you send out an irresistible signal to the Universe that you are ready now. Not a signal that you’ll be ready someday – when you work less and your house is clean and you’ve lost five pounds! Remember the famous line in the 1989 movie, Field of Dreams, star-ring Kevin Costner? “If you build it, they will come.” Living “as if” is like flipping on a light switch inside your heart. This is the light your beloved will use to navigate his or her way to your door of love, care and appre-ciation.

If you stay focused on “knowing” that the one you asked for is ALREADY yours, and savor the waiting and love your life unconditionally, the right one will appear at the right time. If it happens to

be the customer you described, how nice, but since you don’t even know anything about him except for his looks I think you will block other potential possible soul-

mates by focusing on a stranger.


Arielle and Brian


If you have questionsfor Arielle and Brian please send them to [email protected]

For more information and to sign up for Arielle’s free weekly newsletter please visit

www.soulmatesecret.com

For the advance home study course please visit www.soulmatekit.com

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With

The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer

your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are

eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible

mailto:soulmatesecret%40yahoo.com?subject=Email%20From%20BIG%20LOVE%20book


http://www.soulmatekit.com

Arielle Ford - BIG LOVE Making It Happen eBook 2012

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