April Fool’s Day - Barony of Shattered Crystal · Special Edition 1 April Fools 2017/ AS LI April...
Transcript of April Fool’s Day - Barony of Shattered Crystal · Special Edition 1 April Fools 2017/ AS LI April...
N E W S L E T T E R O F T H E B A R O N Y O F
S H A T T E R E D C R Y S T A L
( D A N G I T ! W E C A N ’ T K E E P N I C E
T H I N G S I N T H I S C A S T L E ! )
The Sharks
April Fools 2017/ AS LI Special Edition 1
April Fool’s Day
C u r i a C a l l
V e r b a L e g i s
P a g e 1 T h e S h a r k s
I N S I D E
T H I S
I S S U E :
Missives 2
Cloistered
Celebrations 2
Book of
Bards 2
Persona
Portraits 3
Amethyst
Arts 4
Announce-
ments 5
Blackened
Oven 6
Folly
Marshal 9
Ackowledge-
ments 10
Calendar 12
This is the April Fools 2017 issue of The Shards, a publication of the Barony of Shattered Crystal
of the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. (SCA, Inc.). The Shards is edited by and available
from Jonathan Thorn, 6120 Leo Dr. Belleville, Il. 62223. It is not a corporate publication of SCA,
Inc., and does not delineate SCA, Inc. policies. Copyright © 2017 Society for Creative Anachro-
nism, Inc. For information on reprinting photographs, articles, or artwork from this publication,
please contact the Chronicler, who will assist you in contacting the original creator of the piece.
Please respect the legal rights of our contributors.
Their Crystalline Excellent-sees
Baron Maximillian von Fallinghostel
Baroness Coraline of the Button Eyes
Satchel
Lady Ástríðr Árnarðóttír
Are those holy “d’s” in her name?
(618)-910-7130
Pursuivant (a.k.a. Herold)
The Herold Lady Petrona De Manciano
Exchequer
Lady Gillianne De Solis
De Solis? I hope she has a lot of sun screen.
Chatelain
Master Avery Austringer
Deputy Chatelain and Gold Key
Aren’t most keys made of iron?
Demo Coordinator
Mistress Alphia Bras-Pared
Knight’s Marshal
Master Alfred Pennyworth
See Chandelier
Deputy Knight Marshal
Vacant expression
Archery Target
Master Bubba Goodgodsson!
Equator Marshal
Mistress Alphia Biras-Parz
Rapier Marshal
Lord Derrick the Tailor
(Needle’s a bit small for a foil isn’t it?)
Thrown Weapons Marshal
(oooh shurikens)
Yutz Marshal
Lady Brigid MacCauley Caulkin
Minister of Arts & Weird Sciences
Muirgheal O’Seannaig & Courage the
Cowardly Dog
Chronicler
Tiara Cináed Ulric, Amhranai tan Bringloins
(618)-722-1339
Web Spinister
“Dafydd ap Llewellyn”
Ooooh, there’s an app for Dafydd?
Minister of Yutz
Baroness Caroline of Mercymercymercy
This missive is missing. Is the
missive missing? The missed
missive is missing. Is a missing
missive missed? Yes, a missing
missive is missed. There are too
P a g e 2 S p e c i a l E d i t i o n 1
M i s s i v e s many missing missives. Ah, then
there are massive amounts of
missing missives. Are massive
missing missives missed mas-
sively? Amassed missing mis-
sives are missed massively.
Amassed missing missives are
massively messy. Are a group of
missing missives called a mess?
A mess of amassed missing mis-
sives are missed massively.
Does a mess of amassed miss-
ing missives gather moss? A
mess of amassed, mossy, miss-
ing missives are missed mas-
sively.
Baron and
Baronette
above and one below, vert.
Lady Ærenddraca Grangier: per
chevron inverted sable and ar-
gent, per fess in chief an otter
statant argent in bass a belaying
pin sable.
Lord Artouros Kazáni: Per fess
in chief Or, papelonné vert and
in base vert, overall a trident, per
pale points down,
Lord Romhnaill MacDomhnaill :
Gules, per pale a jester hood in
chief and in base a double arch
or
Lady Artemis tis Nísou: per fess
in chief gules, an eagle displayed
or and in bass azure a semi of
mullets argent.
Lord Bibe Venator, no…. No mat-
ter how many bottles you have in
mundania, you can not have on
a background tenné nor sable, a
stag affronté a latin cross be-
tween its antlers argent. The following devices and
names have been submitted for
approval and will probably be
returned in two weeks and later
found to be appropriate three
years from now….
Lord Enrico de Anelloverde: vert,
a roundel argent with an anulo
between two bars per fess, one
Pursuivant Mistress Expecto
Patrona
P a g e 3 T h e S h a r k s
C l o i s t e r e d C e l e b r a t i o n s
R o l a n d t h e F a r t e r
World Party Day
4 - Hug a Newsman Day, Walk
Around Things Day, School Li-
brarian Day, Tell a Lie Day
5 - Go for Broke Day
6 - National Tartan Day
(Gooooooo Celts!), Plan Your
Epitaph Day - because if you don't
someone else will and who knows
what they'll put on your tomb-
stone...- Sorry Charlie Day
7 - Caramel Popcorn Day, Na-
tional Beer Day, National Walk to
Work Day (first Friday of month
usually), No Housework Day,
World Health Day
8 - All is Ours Day, Draw a Pic-
ture of a Bird Day
9 - Name Yourself Day, Winston
Churchill Day
10 - Golfer's Day, National Sib-
lings Day
11 - Eight Track Tape Day - do
you remember those?, Barbershop
Quartet Day, National Submarine
Day
12 - Big Wind Day - oh, National
Congressmen and Representatives
Day.... -Russian Cosmonaut Day
13 - Scrabble Day
14 - Ex Spouse Day, International
Moment of Laughter Day, Look
up at the Sky Day - don't you have
anything better to do?, National
Pecan Day, Reach as High as You
Can Day
15 - Husband Appreciation Day -
third Saturday in April -, Rubber
Eraser Day, Titanic Remembrance
Day (Near.......far......wherever
you are.....)
16 - National Eggs Benedict Day,
National Librarian Day, National
Stress Awareness Day
17 - Bat Appreciation Day; Blah,
Blah, Blah Day; Dyngus Day al-
ways the Monday after Easter, Na-
tional Cheeseball Day, Patriot's
Day - third Monday of the month,
Pet Owners Independence Day
18 - International Juggler's Day -
also applies to multi tasking office
workers, Newspaper Columnists
Day
19 - National Garlic Day (ooh
Vlad isn't going to like this day.)
20 - Look Alike Day, National
High Five Day third Thursday,
Volunteer Recognition Day
21 - Kindergarten Day
22 - Girl Scout Leader Day, Na-
tional Jelly Bean Day
23 - Lover's Day, National Zuc-
chini Bread Day - they hold this at
a time when you are not sick of all
that zucchini, Take a Chance Day
(Hey ABBA!),World Laboratory
Day
24 - Pig in a Blanket Day
(YUMMMM)
25 - East meets West Day, World
Penguin Day (doo be doo be
dooo.... Beware the penguins!)
26 - Administrative Professionals
Day (Executive Admin's Day,
Secretary's Day) - date varies,
Hug an Australian Day, National
Pretzel Day, Richter Scale Day (I
feel the earth move, under my
feet....)
[Cont’d page 4]
Here are your celebrations for the
month of April. These really are
holidays that exist both here and
abroad. Some of them I am going
to tell you, you have to celebrate.
They're too fun or weird not to!
For the Month of April it is:
National Humor Month, Interna-
tional Guitar Month, Keep Amer-
ica Beautiful Month, Lawn and
Garden Month, National Poetry
Month, National Pecan Month,
National Welding Month, Records
and Information Management
Month, Stress Awareness Month,
Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Weekly Celebrations in April are:
Week 1 Library Week, and Read a
Road Map Week.
Week 2 Garden Week
Week 3 Organize Your Files
Week, and Medical Labs Week
Week 4 Administrative Assistants
Week, National Karaoke Week
(don't tell the bards this!)
Daily Holidays for April:
1 - April Fool's Day, International
Fun at Work Day, International
Tatting Day
2 - Children's Book Day, National
Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, Rec-
onciliation Day
3 - Don't Go to Work Unless it's
Fun Day - we know your decision,
Tweed Day (Hey, Daniel!),
P a g e 4 S p e c i a l E d i t i o n 1
T h e B o o k o f B a r d s J a n e F o o l e
[Celebrations from page 3]
27 - Babe Ruth Day, National Prime Rib Day, Take Your Daughter to Work 4th Thursday, Tell a Story Day
28 - Arbor Day -last Friday of month, International Astronomy Day, Great Poetry Reading Day
Kiss Your Mate Day - guys, do not forget this one. Kiss her, then read her some poetry....unless you're from
Britain or Australia then it means an entirely different thing.
29 - Greenery Day, National Shrimp Scampi Day
30 - Hairstyle Appreciation Day, National Honesty Day.
Of course with fooles and jesters being such a prominent form of entertainment in court, there had
to be at least one song about them. This is “Jenkin, the Jester” listed by an anonymous composer in
1609 in the one of the collections by well known English composer, Thomas Ravenskroft. It is technically
just out of our period, however the style of song, a catche, was one of the styles starting much earlier in
our period. This style is a form of round, but not exactly a round. Instead of the exact same melody being
sung by two, three or four parts, each part starting two—four beats later producing an echo like sound, a
catche instead are three to four different melodies started at different times, which musically produces
harmonies, but verbally can sound like several people having a conversation at once. The earliest form of
a catche known is Summer Is a Cumin In, a song we have sung numerous times in the Barony and SCA as
a whole. One can listen to “Jenkin” on youtube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8NZorUjSY.
Jenkin the Jester
Anonymous 1609
P a g e 5 T h e S h a r k s
P e r s o n a P o r t r a i t s T h o m a s S k e l t o n
his head so easily when he
awakes, as he did my shillings",
or " When the lazy dolt wakes
up, he’ll have trouble finding his
head.” Either it is these deeds
that supposedly gave rise to the
term, tom foolery, as whenever
someone mysteriously met an
end or was overcome by an acci-
dental death, folks would pro-
claim it to be a bit of "Tom Fool-
ery" and thus claim the dead
was probably pulled off by Tom
Skelton.
But he presents even a
deeper mystery of exactly when
he was alive. The Pennington
family states he worked for Wil-
liam Pennington, born 1517 and
died 1573, and the motely he is
wearing in a portrait of himself
shows him wearing a cotehardie
[Cont’d page 9]
William the Lord of Muncaster
Castle. Version A says that a
young lady, Helwise, daughter of
a Sir Alan, went to a village
dance where she danced not
with a "gentleman" who made
advances on her, Wild Will of
Whitebeck, but with a young car-
penter named Richard. In jeal-
ousy, Will followed Helwise and
Richard discovering the lady's
identity and that she and Richard
were secret lovers. Will went and
told the knight, Sir Ferdinand,
who wished to marry Helwise,
and he in a fit of rage told Skel-
ton and ask him to kill the young
carpenter. In this story Tom
obliges as he belives Richard has
stolen a pouch of money from
him. In the other version the
young lady, unnamed, is the
daughter of William Pennington.
Tom sees her sneak off the
grounds to go dancing with the
young carpenter and tells Lord
Pennington, who then orders
Tom to kill the young carpenter.
It is the carpenter's grue-
some end that matches in both
stories however. In both cases
Tom goes and gets Richard the
carpenter drunk and then walks
him back to his own workshop.
Once there, Tom decapitates
Richard with Richard's own wood
cutting and carving tools, leaving
the head buried under a pile of
wood shavings. The stories then
varies a bit again with Tom either
showing or telling his master,
Lord Pennington, about the deed
and then saying, "He will not find
Name: Thomas Skelton
Awards: Last official jester at
Muncaster Castle; "creator" of
the phrase, "tom foolery."
Time Frame: 1460 - 1670 ??
Location: Muncaster Castle,
Ravenglass, England.
History: Because he was just a
hired servant, no detailed re-
cords were kept of him at the
castle in which he worked, so ac-
counts of Thomas' life are at
best, sketchy. Originally believed
to be hired as a personal steward
and teacher to the real but young
Lord of Muncaster Castle, the
fourteen year old William Pen-
nington, Thomas Skelton soon
made a name for himself not as
an entertainer but, if local legend
is believed, a dangerous practical
joker.
Legend one states, Skel-
ton had a habit of sitting beneath
a chestnut tree (which still
stands on the castle grounds to-
day), where he would chat with
and offer directions to travelers
and passers-by on the road that
ran by the castle. Those he took
a dislike to, however, he wouldn't
help, but instead intentionally
directed toward a perilous and
undetectable patch of quicksand,
from which there was little
chance of escape, near the river
Esk. Whether true or not, even
this grim story isn’t the worst
thing attributed to him.
Legend two varies a bit
with one saying the order was
given by a knight, while the other
says the order was given by
P a g e 6 S p e c i a l E d i t i o n 1
A m e t h y s t A r t s W i l l S o m m e r s
How to Make a Porcorum-Latin Tunic
Istha iagramda ivesga aa implesa anda easonablyra authentica atternpa orfa aa arietyva foa
lothingca orfa enma anda omenwa. Yba justingada etha nglesa foa etha idesa eamssa anda leevessa
anda dingada oresga foa ariousva izessa ota etha idessa roa ackba, ouya anca proximateappa nythinga
romfa a Omanra unicata ota a Urgundianba ouppelandeha.
Onsiderca singua a ashablewa abricfa nia ottonca, inenla, oolwa roa theroa aturalna iberfa.
thoughala na alla-olyesterpa abricfa sia syeaa ota areca orfa, tia ayma ookla oota odernma. Oosecha
aturanal roa ightlysla utedma olorsca, eba arefulca ota voidaa uorescentfla, odernma uesha ands attern-
spa.
Seus as ixtysa nchia idewa abricfa, roa ewsa wota idthswa foa ortyfa-ivefa nchia roa irtytha-ixsa
nchia ogetherta. Oldfa etha abricfa nia artersqua, ithwa neoa etsa foa oldsfa taa etha opts nda neoa
oldfa unningra etha ongls aywa owna etha iddlema foa hatwa illwa ecomeba etha rontfa (eesa iagramda).
Aketa etha ollwingfa easurementsma, eba uresa ota ddaa naa dditionala neoa alfha nchia orfa eamssa.
1) Eckna ota oorfla, roa ereverwha ouya anpla ota opsta, uspla wota nchesia orfa emha
2) Eckna ota aistwa
3) Eckna ota idestwa artpa foa estcha
4) 1/4 aistwa uspla neoa nchia aseea roa orema, ependingda noa ylesta.
5) 1/4 estcha uspla neoa nchia aseea roa orema, ependingda noa ylesta.
6) Wota nchia orfa ana rmpita ussetga
7) Sa idewa sa ourya ostma comfortable shirt sleeves
Etha ottedda inesla uggestsa ecka anda eevesla inesla. Ickpa hicheverwa eemssa osestcla ota etha
eriodpa ouya rea yingtra orfa.
Utca utoa etha unicta. henwa uttingca utoa etha eckna peningoa, tia sia estba ota derestimateuna ourya
eadha izesa anda utca oota mallsa ata irstfa. Largeena etha peningoa ittlela yba ittlela tiluna tia sia etha
izesa ouya antwa. Ememberra attha aa ittlela uttingca anca akema aa igba ifferenceda.
Ithwa etha ightra idessa (etha utsideoa foa etha abricfa) ogetherta. Ewsa pua etha idesa eamssa. Utpa
ommercialca iasba apeta roundaa etha eckca peningoa roa acefa etha eckna peningoa ithwa atchingma
abricfa, osa etha abricfa oesda otna raveluna henwa ouya utpa tia noa anda aketa tia ffoa. Emha etha
ottomba. Utpa noa nyao rimta attha ouya antwa. Earwa tia ithwa antspa anda ootsba, roa veroa aa
ighterla eightwa ersionva foa etha amesa umcta ithwa arrowerna eevessla.
P a g e 7 T h e S h a r k s
B a r o n i a l A n n o u n c e m e n t s
ARTS & SCIENCE CLASS INFO
For A&S next Tuesday Lady Protrovich will be teaching us how to make "Ukrainian Eggs." To begin class
she will come forward and lay an egg on the table.
Mistress Bertha Belch from Drachenwald will be present two Tuesdays from now speaking at our “Dinner
& a Project” meeting on "Simple Ways to Create Heraldic Banners." Come out and hear Bertha Belch
all the way from Drachenwald. Attend our A&S lecture and you will hear an excellent speaker and
heave a healthy dinner.
Don't miss the Third Tuesday's A&S exhibit of Medieval Martian Arts.
Next month’s first Tuesday’s A&S Class will be taught by Lady Brigitte Couture who will teach us how to
make Sideless Surcoats out of old patchwork quilts.
The following Tuesday’s A&S Class, taught by Lady Helga Stückeln, will be on how to make quilts out of
old sideless surcoats.
Next month’s last A&S meeting will be by Lord René Zeramika teaching us how to make taller forms of
clay vases, pots, and bowls. Come, let Lord Zeramika show you how to get high on pot.
BARD'S GUILD INFO
The Medieval Bard's Concert held in Schenker Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to TH
Lady Keys, who labored the whole evening at the harpsichord, which as usual fell upon her.
The Bardic Guild invites any member of the Barony who enjoys sinning to join them.
BUSINESS MEETING ANNOUNCEMENTS
At last month's meeting the agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved...projects paid for.... and the
exchequer gave a grief report.
COURT ANNOUNCEMENTS
A bean pot-luck supper will be held at the quarterly court at Schrenker Hall. Music will follow.
The Barony is glad to have joining us for Twelfth Night Court and Potluck Lord & Lady Green. After the
fighters' practice and court we request that all remain in the great hall for the hanging of the greens.
Remember, If you choose to heave during a court, please do so quietly.
EVENT ANNOUNCEMENTS
At the upcoming Four Hands event for feast there will be steak, mashed parsnips, green beans, bread and
dessert served for a nominal feel.
Sunday Crystal Ball Breakfast: No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.
The Baron would appreciate it if the ladies of the Barony would lend him their electric girdles for the pan-
cake breakfast at Sunday morning.
GENERAL MEETING INFO
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have children's activities in the downstairs side
room.
HEALTH & HOSPICE
Remember in thought the many who are sick of our Kingdom or Barony.
P a g e 8 S p e c i a l E d i t i o n 1
Lady Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
Please join us as we show our support for Lord & Lady Alan & Amy Wentworth, who are preparing for the
girth of their first child.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
The local eighth graders, who some of our members have assisted in costume, props, and sets, will be pre-
senting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The Barony is invited to at-
tend the tragedy.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children.
The ladies of the Barony have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the upcoming event Sat-
urday.
Lord Abelard and Lady Cecilia were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began
in their school days.
T h e B l a c k e n e d O v e n S i s t e r J u l i a , C h i l d o f G o d
Perfect Rum Cake
Ingredients:
1 or 2 qts. of rum 1 cup butter
1/8 tsp. sugar 2 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda lemon juice
brown sugar nuts
Directions:
Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring
cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right! Be sure the rum is of the highest quality. Go ahe-
aaaad, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer,
beat butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanshile, it’s important to
make sure the rum is of the finest quality—try another cup; open the second quart of rum if necessary.
Add 1 arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druits and beat till high. If the druits get stuck in the beats, just pru it
loose with a drewscriver. Tample the rum again for sincostincy. Nest, shift 3 cups of salt and feffer (it
really doesn’t matter). Sample the wum again. Sift 1 pint of jemon goose, add 1 bablespoon of swrown
bugar, of whatever color ish abailbabble. Mix well. Grease oven, turn cake pan 350 degrees, and pour the
whole mess sinto the boven and ake. Check the crum again and go to bed.
Nest mumth I slow you how to ma-hic popcorn sduffing whish’ll blow yer dicken’s chicken’s butt
off!
T h e F o l l y M a r s h a l T r i b o u l e t
Welcome to this month’s puzzle. It is the Fools’ Test! How many of these questions can you an-
swer correctly? Good Luck. Answers are on the next page.
1. A young page kicks a soccer ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to him. How is this possible?
2. A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a galleon with the bottom rung on the surface of the wa-
ter. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it
be until three rungs are covered?
3. Henry is the father of James. But James is not the son of Henry. How’s that possible?
4. The King's rooster laid an egg on top of the Royal Coop's roof. On which side did it roll?
5. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
6. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
7. How much dirt is there in a hole 3 feet deep, 6 ft long and 4 ft wide?
8. If a Chiurgeon gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it take be-
fore all the pills had been taken?
9. If Lord Smith’s peacock lays an egg in Lord Jones’ yard, who owns the egg?
10. If there are 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have?
11. If you had only one match, and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some newspaper, and
some kindling wood, which would you light first?
12. Was it legal in Tudor times for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
13. In the new Gregorian calendar Some months have 31 days, others have 30 days. How many have 28
days?
14. Larry’s father, King Jacob has five sons named Joe, Jonah, John, Jeff… What would be the name of the
fifth?
15. There was a raid on Carnelion Keep. Every single person in the keep died, but yet two people survived.
How is this possible?
16. What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?
17. How far can one walk into the woods?
18. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
19. What gets wetter & wetter the more it dries?
20. What has a head and a tail but no body?
21. How many times can one subtract 10 from 100?
22. Lady Cecilia has a chicken pie. Will she eat more if she cuts into eight or twelve pieces?
[Portrait from page 5]
a fashion from 1300 to early 1500; however, the same portrait which actually shows a detailed will, gives
names of friends and his current living location which some investigation shows matches in records in
that area for a similar man only in the early 1660's. Still earlier or later, apparently he loved the castle at
Muncaster Castle for it is said he haunts it still today, the sound of his dragging the carpenter's body up
the stairs echos in the halls, or pinches and pushes being given to certain vistors that catch his eye.
Good or bad, the Penningtons started selecting, via a contest, a new jester for Muncaster Castke every
year in honor of the man, his shinannegans, and his ghost.
P a g e 9 T h e S h a r k s
Cover art, Coronet Logo for Their Excellencies’ missive, Persona Portrait Photo rework of Avery Aus-
tringer, and all photos in the Crystal Chamfron article are from Cináed Ulric.
Officer badge art is provided by the Middle Kingdom’s Midrealm Image Library, who’s statement is:
“Feel free to download any of these images for use in your own pages. ...”
Horizontal and Vertical dividers and woodcut on pages six & eighteen are from the web page
Goode Cookery, and their page on Medieval Woodcuts Clip Art collection from the 15-16th centuries.
Their permission-use statement is: “Those who wish to reduce or alter these images for their own use are
welcome to do so.”
All articles, except “Cloistered Celebrations”, are written by the folks underneath the article’s title
or end. “Cloistered Celebrations is written under a Nom de Plume and the author wishes to remain
anonymous.
All Creative Work, Photography, and Model release forms for every article, photo, or artistic graphic
are on file with the Chronicler.
A c k n o w l e d g e m e n t s
ANSWERS TO THE FOLLY MARSHAL’S FOOLS’ TEST
1. Gravity? He kicked it up in the air.
2. Never. The boat rises as the tide goes up.
3. James is his daughter. Did you know that James used to an appropriate lady's name as well?
4. It didn’t roll as roosters don't lay eggs.
5. By sleeping during the night time.
6. The Egg won’t crack the concrete floor.
7. None, or else it wouldn’t be a hole.
8. 1 hour! Take the 1st pill right away, half an hour later take the 2nd and half an hour after that the 3rd.
Total time spent: 1 hour!
9. No one as peacocks don’t lay eggs, only peahens. (were you fooled a second time by this kind of ques-
tion?)
10. The 4 you took.
11. The match.
12. Probably not, but if he’s dead it would be kind of difficult.
13. All months have 28 days.
14. Larry! He would be the fifth son.
15. The two were married.
16. Stairs.
17. Half way. After that you are walking out of the woods.
18. Wet. 19. A towel.
20. A coin. 21.Once. Next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
22.It doesn't matter, the number of slices it's still the same sized pie.
P a g e 1 0 S p e c i a l E d i t i o n 1
Guild Halls
Debate Meetings Hell on the 4th Tuesday of the month at 7:00 p.m. at the
Schmucks in Collinsville, IL at 501 Beltline Rd, Collinsville, IL 62234
We get to business but ramble on finer points for hours.
FArts & Sciences (classes, free nights, & projects)
Held on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Tuesdays of the month
starting around 6-6:30 as folks arrive. At the Marine UCC Church
111 N. Center Street, Marine, IL. 62061
Argent Scriptorium (scribal & Illumination)
TBA
ARMORER’S GUILD/FIGHTER PRACTICE
Held on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Tuesdays of the month
starting around 6-6:30 as folks arrive. At the Marine UCC Church
111 N. Center Street, Marine, IL. 62061
CRYSTAL ACADEMY—FENCING/RAPIER
Held on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Tuesdays of the month
starting around 6-6:30 as folks arrive. At the Marine UCC Church
111 N. Center Street, Marine, IL. 62061
CRYSTAL COOKS
We’re not meeting, as you know we’re half baked.
CRYSTAL DANCE TROUPE
Dance practices are sometimes held during the A&S Tuesday times or
on their own on the 1st & 3rd Mondays of the month around 7:00 p.m.
at the Love Joy United Presbyterian Church, 2550 Rock Hill Rd, Wood River, IL 62095
(Where do the separated Presbyterians meet and how did they become separated?)
WEAVING WEDNESDAY
The Brewer & Vintners’ Guild meeting at the home of
Al Kohawl, the Tankard Maker, after 6 p.m.
The Barony reminds one to act responsibly;
Hire a designated oxen team leader for the evening.
Otherwise you might put the horse before the cart.
P a g e 1 1 T h e S h a r k s
Maybe
Abill
Baronial and Kingdom events are listed before others, followed by the closest to our Barony. For
events outside of this scope, please see the Midrealm Kingdom Calendar at http://
www.midrealm.org/calendar/ or check the advertisements in your latest kingdom newsletter, The
Pale. For all side “guild” meetings: dance, weaving, etc. Please be sure to check email & facebook
notices for changes in usual schedule on a daily basis.
1 Harlequinn,
the Chronicler’s
Cat’s Birthday
Today!
2 3 Something in
the East of the
Kingdom
4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Something in
the North of the
Kingdom
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 No one visits
us in the West
of the Kingdom
19 19 Dunce Prac-
tice 7:00 p.m.
20 ASS Practice
6 p.m.
21 22 23
25 26 27 Business Mtg
Collinsville, IL
7:00 p.m.
28 29 30
BE SURE TO MARK THESE DATES!
1 Only 238 Day
Until Christ-
mas!
2 3 Dance Prac-
tice 7:00 p.m.
4 A&S, Ar-
mored & Rapier
Practice 6 p.m.
5 HUMP DAY! 6 THIS IS A
DAY!
7 THIS IS A
DAY!
8 THIS IS A
DAY!
9 THIS IS A
DAY!
10 NOT SO
MUCH…..
11 A&S, Ar-
mored & Rapier
Practice 6 p.m.
12 13 14 PAY DAY! 15 He sees you
when you’re
sleeping...
16 Some group,
somewhere,
held an event
yesterday!
17 Physical
Therapy from
last Dance Prac-
tice 7:00 p.m.
18 A&S, Ar-
mored Rapper
Practice 6 p.m.
19 WODEN
WAS
HERE!
20 21 This is a
volunteer or-
ganization you...
22 He knows
when you’re
awake…..
23
30
24
31
25 Debate Mtg
Collinsville, IL
7:00 p.m.
26 27 28 don’t have a
pay day.
29
Sta...sta...sta…
sta….
STALKER
Bahri
Dayri
Deglet Noor