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![Page 1: Anger Management By eSoft Skills. Module One: Getting Started Welcome to the Anger Management ecourse. This program will help teach participants how to.](https://reader036.fdocuments.in/reader036/viewer/2022062720/56649f125503460f94c25923/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Anger Management
By eSoft Skills
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Module One: Getting Started
Welcome to the Anger Management ecourse.This program will help teach participants how to identify their anger triggers and what to do when their angry.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
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course Objectives
The anger cycle
Anger myths
Dealing with
anger
Energy curve
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Pre-Assignment Review
Think of a situation where you had experienced anger, preferably one that no longer affects you currently. 1. What symptoms did you experience?2. What was your response to your anger
symptoms?3. Was your response helpful?
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Module Two: Understanding Anger
Before we discuss specific anger management strategies, it is helpful to first understand the nature of anger.
In this module, we will discuss •The cycle of anger•The fight or flight response•Common myths about anger
Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.
Elliot Larson
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The Cycle of Anger
Crisis
Recovery
Depression
Normal/Adaptive
Trigger
Escalation
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Understanding Fight or Flight
Fight
Flight
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Common Myths about Anger
Bad emotion
Needs to be unleashed
Cannot control anger
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Module Three: Do’s and Don’ts
Now that we’ve established that anger is a natural, unavoidable, and instinctual reaction, let’s look at how we can respond to anger appropriately. In this module, we will discuss the dos and don’ts in responding to anger.
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Marcus Aurelius
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Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger
Ignoring anger Being aggressive
Passive aggression
Not communicating
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Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger
• Acknowledge your anger
• Speak upDO
• Explain how you feel• Be calm before you
speakDO
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Module Four: Gaining Control
Anger is instinctual, yes. It is an emotion that comes unbidden and we often don’t have a choice whether we would be angry or not. What we can do however, is take control of our anger when it comes. In this module, we will discuss ways to gain control over our anger.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Will Rogers
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A Word of Warning
Recognize the warning signs.
Physical
Mental
Emotional
Behavioral
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Using Coping Thoughts
Calm down first, and think it through
It may not be as bad as it seems
It’s alright to be upset
What needs to be done immediately?
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Using Relaxation Techniques
Breathing Exercises
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
Visualization
Music
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Blowing Off Some Steam
Physical Activity Music Pillow
Punching Writing
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Module Five: Separate the People from the Problem
Anger is not just personal. It can be relational as well. When managing anger that involves other people, it helps to have a problem-oriented disposition, setting personal matters aside. This way the issue becomes an objective and workable issue.
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems--- not people; to focus your energies on answers--- not excuses.
William Arthur Ward
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Objective vs. Subjective Language
State behaviors
Don’t be vague
Use clear terms
Don’t assume
thoughts or actions
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Identifying the Problem
Mutual acceptance
Review your position
Problem statement
Gather information
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Using “I” Messages
A description of the behavior
Its effect on you or the organization
A suggestion for alternative behavior
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Module Six: Working on the Problem
In this module, we will discuss how to work effectively on the problem. Specifically, we will tackle constructive disagreement, negotiation tips, building a consensus and identifying solutions.
Anyone can become angry---that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way--- that is not within everyone’s power and that is not easy.
Aristotle
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Using Constructive Disagreement
Solution-focused
Mutual respect
Win-win solution
Reasonable concessions
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Negotiation Tips
Note situational factors
Prepare!
Communicate clearly
Keep an open-mind
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Building Consensus
Increase sameness
reduce differences
Explore options
together
Focus on shared
interests
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Identifying Solutions
SolutionBrainstorm
Adopt a model
Invent Options
Survey
Hypothesize
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Module Seven: Solving the Problem
In this module, we will discuss elements of solving the problem. Particularly, we would discuss choosing a solution, making a plan, and getting it done.
Anger is not bad. Anger can be a very positive thing, the thing that moves us beyond the acceptance of evil. Joan Chittister
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Choosing a Solution
Costs and benefits
Foresight
Interests
Obstacles
Values
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Making a Plan
Keep your goal central to you plan
Concrete steps
Resources you would need
Evaluate the plan
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Getting it Done
Stick to your plan
Monitor progress
and results
Revise accordingly
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Module Eight: A Personal Plan
In this module we will discuss what hot buttons are, how to identify your personal hot buttons, and how you can be benefitted by keeping a personal anger log.
Everyone has a hot button. Who is pushing yours? While you probably cannot control that person, you CAN control the way you react to them.
Anonymous
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Understanding Hot Buttons
Something we observe
Something we think
Something we feel
Something we do
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Identifying Your Hot Buttons
• Triggers• Appropriate
responsesHot
• Awareness• Watch for themButtons
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A Personal Anger Log
Increase awareness of anger patterns
A good way to blow off steam
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Module Nine: The Triple A Approach
Anger is exacerbated by a feeling of victimization and helplessness. It helps to know then that we always have at least three options when dealing with an anger-provoking situation: you can alter, avoid or accept.
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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Alter
Change non-productive habits
Respectfully ask others
Change the way you view a situation
Change the way you react to a situation
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Avoid
People who make you upset
Stressful situations
Your ‘hot buttons’
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Accept
Find learning
Seek higher
purpose
Vent to a friend
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Module Ten: Dealing with Angry People
In this module we will discuss how we can effective deal with angry people. Specifically we will talk about the Energy Curve, de-escalation techniques, and guidelines on when to back away and what to do.
He who angers you, conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny
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Understanding the Energy Curve
Take Off
Slow Down
Cool Down
RATIONAL BEHAVIOR
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De-escalation Techniques
Active listening
Personal space
Orientate them
Agree if possible
Reiterate your support
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When to Back Away and What to Do Next
Cannot view it objectively
Warning signs for abuse
Influence of mood-altering
substances
Rational intervention
does not work
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Module Eleven: Pulling It All Together
In this module, we will show how these different techniques come together. We will also give additional tips to help you in practicing these anger management techniques more effectively.
If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit. Give it nothing which may tend to its increase.
Epictetus
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Process Overview
Be informed
Anger cycle
Fight or flight
Do’s and don'ts
Be self-aware
Warning signs
Hot buttons
Personal dynamics
Take control
Coping
Relaxation
Blow off steam
Take action
Negotiate
Make a plan
De-escalate
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Putting It into Action
Find your motivation
One change at a time
Reward yourself
Accountability partner
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Module Twelve: Wrapping Up
Although this course is coming to a close, we hope that your journey to improve your anger management skills is just beginning. This will be a key tool to guide your progress in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. We wish you the best of luck on the rest of your travels!
This feeling, finally, that we may change things - this is at the center of everything we are. Lose that... lose everything.
Sir David Hare
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Words from the Wise
Yogi Berra: In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Dwight Eisenhower: Plans are nothing; planning is everything.
Jonas Salk: The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.