ANGER : HELPFUL OR HARMFUL???Nowshin Nahar Psycho-Social

CounsellorEastern University

GROUND RULES Mobile off or silent No side talk Confidentiality Respect to others Being attentive Non-judgmental attitude

OBJECTIVES 1. Identify your anger triggers 2. Know your anger cues 3. Know your anger style 4. Deal with your anger effectively 5. goal setting

A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Anger is an EMOTION related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged or denied and a tendency to react through retaliation.

Anger is a natural, normal feeling. There is nothing

wrong with feeling angry.

Aggression is not a feeling

but is instead a behavior.

2 GROUPS

When was the last time you were angry?

Day/week: _____________________Time: _________________________Place: _________________________

TRIGGERS

Something happens & that makes

you angry

What triggers you does not always trigger someone else.

3 THINGS TRIGGER YOUR ANGER:

1.You experience a situation or behaviour that you judge is unfair, hurtful, or in some other way ‘wrong’

2. You feel unable to calmly and easily right the wrong – this may be because you believe that you lack the skill or ability to do so, or the person/situation seems bigger than you can handle

3. The experience is troubling enough that you cannot simply tolerate it or let it go.

WHAT ARE YOUR TRIGGERS?

______________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

ANGER CUESYour body

sends you

signals, when you’re getting

angry.

Clenched fist

Racing & pounding heartbeat

Sweat

Loud voice

Red face

Upset stomach

WHAT ARE YOUR CUES?

______________________________

__________________________________

WHAT’S YOUR ANGER STYLE?

When your anger is triggered, you’re going to react in some way. The way

you react is called your ANGER STYLE.

a. Dumpingb. Acting Out

c. Burying

DUMPINGDISPLACED ANGER

Shifting your feelings to

someone you feel it’s safe to be mad

at.

Ex. Guy gets mad at his boss, comes home & yells at his wife, who yells at the kids, who kick the dog!!

CONSEQUENCES You hurt innocent people Relationship problems Communication problems loneliness Problem is not solved

ACTING OUT Easiest to recognize It’s when you strike

out at the person you are mad at: physically or verbally.

YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL!!!!

CONSEQUENCES

You get in trouble Relationship problem Communication problems Professional problems Problem is not solved

BURYING (IGNORING) When you hold your anger down

inside yourself because you think it isn’t nice to have those feelings.

Denying your anger, isn’t dealing with it.

It can come out in other ways: headaches, stomachaches, anxious, depressed, gastric .

One day you might explode!!

CONSEQUENCES

You hurt yourself Cant concentrate in work Feel down and lonely You may hurt others when you

EXPLODE Problem is not solved

HOW DO YOU ACT WHEN ANGRY?

How did you act when you were angry? What happened then?

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If you hold onto anger for a long time, it causes you problems

Physical – ulcers, diarrhea, frequent colds and flues, slower wound healing, heart attacks, headaches, backaches, high blood pressure

Mental, emotional and spiritual – it separates you from other people, keep feeling like a victim, impacts your ability to be grateful and have a healthy spirit, feeling inadequate, depression and anxiety

DEALING WITH ANGER When you find yourself

angry, REMEMBER - the only behavior you can manage is YOUR own!!!

So, pay attention to your anger cues.

And, if you feel like you’re going to lose it…

ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

Why am I so angry and what can I doabout it?

Anger is a warning bell that tells us that something is wrong.

Anger Management does not involve getting rid of anger but use anger to enhance your life.

1. COOL OFF, STAY CALM Walk away Count 1 to 10 Take deep breaths Use calming self-talk: “I can handle this.

Chill. It’s not as bad as it seems.” Imagine you are in a peaceful place.

2. GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME TO SORT THINGS OUT.

Write the problem down on paper. Think it through. Ask yourself: what

really happened? How was I triggered? What

were my cues. Talk it over with a friend or adult you trust.

3. TURN YOUR ANGRY ENERGY INTO A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.

Channel your angry energy into a physical activity.

Try to solve the problem. Try to accept situations you can’t

change. Tell the person making you angry how

you feel.

PRACTICE RELAXATION & MEDITATION Breathing Breathing relaxation Muscular relaxation Imaginary Mindful Emotional Freedom techniques

What can you do at the next time when you would feel angry?

______________________________________________________________________________

POSITIVE EFFECT OF ANGER

Anger can also alert us that something is wrong and that we need to respond

Anger can motivate us to work harder to accomplish our goals

Help us to survive

EVERYBODY GETS ANGRY That’s just how it is.

The difference comes in what you do about it.

SO: GET A GRIP!!!

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