ANGER MANAGEMENT

Arthur Benjamin Friday – Lecturer/Power-point Producer

ANGER MANAGEMENT

What is Anger?

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation

to intense fury and rage

Expressing Anger!The instinctive, natural way toexpress anger is to respondaggressively. Anger is a natural,adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerfuloften aggressive feelings and behaviours which

allowus to fight and defend ourselves when we are

attacked.On the other hand, we cannot Physically lash out at every Person or object that irritates or annoys us.

Expressing Anger!Unexpressed anger can create otherproblems. It can lead to pathologicalexpressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive (silent-deadly) behaviour or a

personalitythat seems perpetually cynical and hostile.

People who put themselves down, criticize everything,

make cynical comments haven’t learnt to constructively express their anger. They

aren’t likely to have successful relationships.

STRATEGIES TO KEEP ANGER AT BAYIt is important to find out what are the things thattriggers your anger and then develop strategies to keep them under control.

Relaxation: Practicing deep breathing while

imagining a pleasant scenery or occasion.

Cognitive Restructuring: This simply means changing

the way you think; replace the negative thoughts with

positive, rational ones.Be careful of words such as ‘never, or ‘always’.

STRATEGIES TO KEEP ANGER AT BAYRemind yourself that getting angry will not solveanything and does not make you feel better.

Logic Defeats Anger: Even justified anger can quickly

become irrational. Feel hurt, don’t ‘feel’ angry.

Problem Solving: Every problem does not have a

solution so do not get more angry when no solution is

forthcoming; instead work on handling and facing

the problem. Make a plan and stick to it; do your best

STRATEGIES TO KEEP ANGER AT BAYBetter Communication: Angry people tendto jump up and act on conclusions and manya time they are inaccurate.

Instead, cool off, slow down, be quiet andthink through your responses. Don’t saythe first thing that comes to your head;

listencarefully to the other person before

answering.Use humour: To help yourself face the

problems and do not use sarcastic and harsh

humour

ANGER TOOLKIT

The first step towards managing anger in our personal relationships appropriately is the identification of the mistaken attitudes and convictions that predispose us to being excessively angry in the first place!

Once these mistakes have been corrected, we will be less likely to fly off the handle than we were in the past.

Four Proven Techniques for Managing Anger

ANGER TOOLKIT

• The second step is the identification of those factors from our childhood that prevents us from expressing our anger as appropriately as we otherwise might. These factors include fear, denial, ignorance and so on.

• These impediments to the effective and appropriate management of our anger towards others can be removed so that our suppressed anger will NOT compound itself inside of us as it has been doing for years.

Four Proven Techniques for Managing Anger

ANGER TOOLKIT

• The third step is learning the appropriate modes of expressing our "legitimate" anger at others so that we can begin to cope more effectively with anger provoking situations as they arise in our personal relationships. When we are anxious or depressed in our relationships, we are often experiencing the consequences of our suppressed anger. When we are depressed, very often we are also angry at our self without realizing it.

Four Proven Techniques for Managing Anger

ANGER TOOLKIT

• The fourth step is to bind up the wounds that may have been left by the potentially devastating emotional impact of anger. "Anger wounds" left in us against those who have wronged us. If we do not complete this mopping up step, we will cling to the resentment of having been done wrong and will carry the festering residue of our anger and rage in our hearts forever.

• Give ourselves immediate relief from anger in our personal relationships by forgiving others.

Four Proven Techniques for Managing Anger

THROUGH IT ALL