Active Communication.document

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Active Communication/RighTrack/23rd April’2014

Communication Matters

I would like to improve my communication skills so that I can

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My communication challenges are:

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What is the difference between Passive, Aggressive & Assertive communication?


Speak UP! Assertive communication skills-Communicating with confidence

Do you consider yourself to be assertive? And what does being assertive mean to you? Does it mean exercising your rights all the time, every time? Or does it mean knowing when to let someone else or some other cause or outcome take precedence over your rights?

Is the boss who places a pile of work on an employee's desk the afternoon before that employee goes on vacation, being assertive? Or, is the employee who is about to go on vacation being assertive when she tells the boss that the work will be done upon her return?

It's not always easy to identify truly assertive behavior. This is because there is a fine line between assertiveness and aggression. Some definitions are helpful when trying to separate the two:

Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others. When you are assertive, you ask for what you want but you don't necessarily get it.

- Know that your values, desires, rights, feelings are as important as others. - Believe that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. - Know that you have the right to protect your interest. - Stop apologizing for everything. - Express yourself in a healthy and positive manner. - Stand up to any unfair treatment. - Be firm but not adamant. - Practice respect in behavior. - Communicate with a purpose. - Empathize with others. - Smile and greet first. - Instant ‘Thanks’ and ‘Sorry’ can prevent escalations.


Communicating with seniors A lot of subordinates feel uncomfortable with the idea of openly communicating with their bosses. This mainly happens because of the biases on either side. These assumptions usually create problem when reflected in our communication.

Let’s take control of our upward communication (communicating with seniors) and start practicing a positive language that shows your professionalism.

- Bosses like to see care & concern in your communication. - Bosses appreciate people who have the team spirit. - Bosses appreciate people who communicate with a sense of responsibility. - Bosses appreciate people with ideas and solutions. - Bosses like people who talk to the point. (It saves their time & energy) - Bosses like to be respected. (Everybody does, for that matters)

Start practicing following phrases while communicating with your seniors:

- We, our, us - Achieving goals - Able to make a decision - Adjust our priorities - Approval from someone I respect - Benefit from your experience and wisdom - Best use of resources - Best for the project/company/team/department - Count on me - By all means - Do it right the first time - Give full credit to - Happy to try it your way/happy to follow your suggestion - I know you will be pleased with the results - I’ll get on it immediately - I’ve been preparing for this - It will help me to be more effective in………………………. - Thanks for believing in me - Thanks for respecting my questions - Minimize the risk/cost - Maximize the possibilities/profit - Thank you for asking me - Would love to share the progress


YOUR BODY SPEAKS

Professional Mannerism for communicating with the boss Most of the bosses are very sensitive to the body language signals. Your body language can work wonders in improving or worsening your chemistry with your boss.

Here are a few things you may like to consider while communicating with your boss.

- Approach the supervisor politely but as an equal. - Knock on the door. (Do not poke your head in the door. Do not linger on the threshold) - Pause and ask. When admitted, walk all the way in. - Establish immediate eye contact. - Maintain periodic eye contact but don’t stare. - Don’t rush to be seated. It is preferable to linger for a moment standing in front of the boss, this

makes him/her look at you and gets you the attention. - When seated, keep your hands fully visible. Use them to make your points. - Keep your hands away from your face, nose, hair, neck or mouth. - Practice open gestures. - Avoid shaking legs. - Avoid crossing your arms. - Avoid slumping or slouching in the chair. - Avoid putting your hands in your pocket. - Avoid aggressive gestures. - Avoid reflexive sounds.


Communicating with subordinates

You are the greatest influence on the quality of work from your subordinates. They look up to you for guidance, motivation and directions. Good bosses are admired for their supportive and encouraging communication as they communicate with care and clarity.

Here are a few phrases that you may like to consider while talking to your subordinates:

- I am proud of you. - Thank you so much. - What do you think about it? - Full cooperation - Vital role - Banking on you - Share your concerns - You can do it - Your have always………………. - Do we agree on this? - Total trust - Thanks for sharing your…………………………… - I am with you - Please share your doubts. - Do you understand my expectations? - The whole department……. - I admire your…………….. - I heard something good about you - I want to let you know….. - I am waiting for some good updates from you - I know you will not let me down. - I don’t think you need a reminder about….. - You can reach me anytime. - How can I help you? - I am sorry! (Difficult but necessary at times)


How to handle criticism? The 3R Approach: Remain calm – Rephrase the comment – Respond

Step 1: Remain Calm Criticism can often cause anger or feelings of resentment. This is the moment to stay calm and figure out if the criticism is constructive or real.

You may also like to be sure if the criticism comes from a habitual critic. (In this case the best idea would be not to take his comments personally) and ignore the comments. When this happens, you may respond with the following statements:

- Thanks, but this looks like your personal opinion. - Thanks, but that doesn’t help. - Thanks, but I prefer not to respond to your comment.

Step 2: Rephrase or have the point repeated Don’t pressure yourself to think of the perfect response on the spot. You probably won't. Instead, try this: Simply and calmly repeat your critic's complaints back to him, to make sure that you've understood him properly. Making steady eye contact and in a non-aggressive tone, say: "So, what you're saying is.," and put his criticisms in your own words. The goal here is to take the focus away from any personality clash, and place it squarely on substantive issues.

Critic : This is a bad idea.

You: Are you saying this won’t work?

If you think that your critic’s comment really carries some weight, it would be wise to respect him:

Critic: This is a bad idea.

You: I am sure you may some strong reasons to say that. I think your opinion can help me.

Step 3: Respond in the most professional manner If you find some reason or concern, appreciate the comment. Genuinely thank the critic and offer to work with him.

Critic: This plan is really flawed.

You: Thanks, I am ready to work with you to improve the plan.


Communicate to Negotiate In its simplest form, Negotiation involves a choice of three strategies: · Hard (winning at all costs). · Soft (conceding everything necessary to reach agreement). · Principled (giving and receiving concessions to achieve a mutually beneficial agreement).

The overall strategy we choose to adopt in a negotiating situation will depend on the outcome we want.

Listening Negotiations often induce stress, making it very hard to concentrate on our own position whilst, at the same time, listening to everything that is being said around the table. Often, whilst listening, we are thinking ahead at the same time to our next response. As well as listening for our own benefit to gather the information we need, it is important that we are seen to be listening. Key behaviors of an active listener are:

· Keep your attention on the speaker.

· Maintain eye contact.

· Ask questions to check your understanding of what's been said.

· Take notes of key points (you will never remember them later).

· Even if people are slow to respond, stay silent and give them time to think.

Questioning Avoid the risk of appearing too selfish. For this you need to concentrate enough energy on establishing the needs of the other party. Wise use of questions is very helpful in staying tuned into the process.

'Open' questions (beginning with why, what, where, when, who and how) facilitate the introduction of facts, feelings, beliefs, opinions and ideas to the discussion. (Beware of the overuse of 'why' which can often be perceived as aggressively challenging). 'Closed' questions invite 'yes' or 'no' answers in order to check agreement or understanding and confirm information.

Stating our case During a negotiation, we need to state our case on a continuous basis - As the negotiation develops, we will probably need to make modified proposals. Unless we want to concede everything, a proposal should consist of two elements - the condition and the offer. The condition states what we want from the other party; the offer states what we might trade in return. It is generally more powerful to ask for the condition before making the offer.


Some useful phrases:

So, what do you suggest?

If I understood you correctly, you mean to say…………………

Can you be more specific?

Can you elaborate on this?

In other words you feel that…..

So we agree on ………………..1……………………….2……………………………….3

I will have to consult my seniors on this.

The main thing that bothers us is……….

I totally respect that.

Please feel free to speak up your mind.

Let’s review what we have agreed so far.

Let’s just confirm the details.

Are you sure you have covered everything?

Is that okay with you? OR Are you okay with that?

Is there anything you would like to change?

It is vital for the success of this deal that we………….

Let me reassure you that .............

I can promise you that ... …………..

I have no doubts that we will .......................


Let’s work with some more….

A polite way of saying that something is impossible:

Suggesting that both the parties make a concession

A polite way to ask that you couldn’t understand what they want

When you can’t accept the offer they have made

When you want to say that you can’t offer the same rate as the other company

When you want to say you want to give them your best on a particular point.

When you want to say that there is big difference between your expectation and their offer

When you want to propose in a different way or with some variation

When you want to communicate you can’t make it better

When you want to say there is only one thing that is stopping you

An open ended question would be like:

A close ended question would be like:


Meeting Mannerisms There are good meetings and there are bad meetings. Quite often you come out of a meeting wondering why you were even present there. Such meetings suck and you don’t get anything out of them.

Effective meetings really boil down to three things:

1. They achieve the meeting's objective.

2. They take up a minimum amount of time.

3. They leave participants feeling that a sensible process has been followed.

Participate actively in following the agenda, discussion, idea generation and problem solving.

Express your thoughts and feelings.

Respect timelines and priorities.

Be patient and appreciate patience.

Be relevant and talk to the point.

Connect and compliment others.

Don’t interrupt others.

Use soft gestures to raise a point.

Use question hour if scheduled so.

Avoid side talks and arguments

Give opportunity to everyone.

Use parliamentary language and avoid slangs.

Demonstrate energy and enthusiasm.


The Phone call

Effective Telephonic Communication Skills One of the most important aspects of success in business is the ability to communicate by telephone. Huge business opportunities are lost due to poor handling of telephone enquiries. However, customers who are well handled will call again and bring more business. Answering the telephone in a business-like and professional manner requires understanding and practice.

1. When you place a call, how many rings do you allow before you assume the party is not going to answer?

Tip: To be generous, you’ll allow from 4 to 6 rings before you assume the person you are calling is not going to answer.

2. When the telephone rings, how quickly do you answer?

Tip: When you receive a call, answer on the first or second ring. In business the ring of the telephone is not simply an interruption. Answering the telephone is an integral part of your job.

3. Have you ever been lost when someone tried to transfer your call?

Tip: Call transfers are very common. Be sure you know the proper process on your system. Customers who are lost in transfer may become lost business as well.

4. When making a business call, do you like being put on hold?

Tip: Most people don’t like being on hold. Be sure you ask the party if he/she wants to hold. Then check back every 30 seconds to confirm that hold or offer to take a message. Never abandon a caller on hold.

5. Have you ever been on the telephone when the other party sounded like you are disturbing him/her?

Tip: It is an unpleasant surprise. Be polite in telling the person that you are busy.

6. How do you feel when talking on the telephone to someone who is eating or drinking during the conversation?

Tip: Don’t eat, drink or chew gum during a conversation. The sounds of consumption are not pleasant.

7. When someone says he/she will call back at a specific time – but doesn’t- how do you feel?

It’s become an irritating fact of business life. If you promise to call back at a certain time, make that call.


Discussing Performance Discussing performance is a crucial business activity in order to evaluate progress and reward employees.

Discussions during performance evaluation should focus at guiding and helping the employee. The language and tone you use during these discussions has a definite impact on your relationship and the future performance.

- Be as objective as possible.

- Begin with appreciation and what was well done.

- Listen first.

- Work as partner for future growth.

- Minimize the pain maximize trust.

- Clearly and candidly discuss the expectations & consequences.

Sometimes you are expected to differentiate between levels of varying performance. Please take a few ideas from the following examples to communicate the degree of performance levels.

Job Knowledge: Exceeds expectations: Strong level of knowledge required to perform well.

Meets expectations: Adequate knowledge required to perform the task

Below expectations: Usually runs into troubles where he doesn’t know what to do

Initiative: Exceeds expectations: Takes frequent and appropriate initiatives.

Meets expectations: Takes initiatives when faced with a situation.

Below expectations: Rarely shows initiatives, waits for the approval from seniors.

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