A. What is stress? - Crisis Support Services of Alameda County · 1 Stress Management in Times of...
Transcript of A. What is stress? - Crisis Support Services of Alameda County · 1 Stress Management in Times of...
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Stress Management in Times of Unemployment
When employment is lost we rightfully feel threatened. Stress is our natural response to a threat. The stress response is not all bad: it helps us survive when danger is imminent. However, when the threat persists, as unemployment may, our stress response persists taxing us beyond what our body and mind can handle. This is when stress can begin to have a negative impact on our health, our family and our ability to effectively pursue employment.
Being employed fulfills a universal need for security – the income to take care of ourselves and our family’s basic needs. But a job also provides us with a place to go to every day. A job provides structure for our day and an outlet for our creativity and productivity. Being a wage earner is an identity as meaningful as wife, husband, father, sister, friend, etc. In addition, work relationships provide us with a social safety net, keeping us connected to a larger community.
A. What is stress?
2 More specifically, the evolutionary purpose of stress is to sharpen our senses and reactions so that we can best mobilize our energy and resources to either fight, escape, or connect with others to ensure survival when faced with a sudden threat. When unemployed the fulfillment of our basic needs are threatened and most people are likely to experience a sudden and even an expected layoff, the ups and downs of a job search and the overall uncertain nature of unemployment as threatening, which would consequently trigger the body’s stress response.
The stress response is not all bad. When danger is experienced as imminent and immediate our stress response is acute and short-‐term, helping us survive. However, when the danger is chronic and prolonged, as is often the case with unemployment, our stress response can be prolonged as well, stretched beyond what our body and mind can healthily handle. This can often result in an emotional and physical imbalance, fatigue, and an overall sense of powerlessness, despair and/or rage. This is when stress can begin to have a negative impact on our health, our family and our ability to effectively pursue employment.
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Stress responses vary and take on different symptoms. Most of the symptoms affect our body, our mind, our feelings and our behaviors. It is important to understand that our body-‐mind is simply reacting to the sense of danger and threat that we attribute to our circumstances. So for example, if we experience upset stomach, forgetfulness, inability to get things done, and irritability in the course of a prolonged job search, it is not because we have gone crazy; on the contrary. In fact all of these symptoms are reflective of our innately intelligent ways to attempt to reclaim a sense of body-‐mind balance while feeling threatened. Recognizing stress symptoms is an important step in helping to better manage our stress response. Here are some of the common stress symptoms:
Body: Muscle tension and pain Fatigue and lack of energy High blood pressure Upset stomach Digestive problems Backaches and Headaches Shallow breathing
Feelings Anger Sadness and grief Depression Loss of sense of self worth Loneliness Fear and anxiety Impatience and irritability
Mind: Chronic negative thoughts Constant worry Inability to make decisions, Judgmental thoughts toward self and other Loss of mental clarity Forgetfulness and confusion
Behavior: Loss of motivation and inability to get things done Interpersonal withdrawal and avoidance Insomnia Hyper-vigilance Lashing out at others Neglecting responsibilities for self and other-care Excessive eating, smoking, alcohol or drug consumption
B. What are the symptoms of stress?
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The best way to reduce stress symptoms is twofold;
• Do our best to proactively attempt to change the circumstances by looking for and finding employment thereby reestablishing safety.
• Interrupt our natural stress response to the existing circumstances and in such ways that reduce our natural stress response in order to more effectively look for and find employment.
Your reaction to this “situational crisis” may be very mild, moderate or extreme and debilitating. Financial hardship is a contributing cause of despair and hopelessness that can cause great distress and even cause some people to contemplate suicide. Here is one way to look at stress reduction during periods of unemployment:
Difficult circumstance of layoffs, unemployment, and
a prolonged job search
Changing the Circumstances: This way of reducing stress is action and behavior oriented. • Update Resume • Daily Job Search • Networking • Retraining • Short and Long Term Goals • Career Counseling • Consultation • Strategizing with Family/Friends • Budget Planning • Volunteering • To Do Lists • Stick to a Schedule
Interupt the Stress Response: This way of reducing stress is based on awareness, practice, and self care. • Recognizing Stress Response Symptoms • Practice Stress Reduction Interventions • Stay Active Exercise • Stay Social • Get Support, Talk with Family and Friends • Go to the Beach, Park, Mountains, Desert • Meditate • Hot Bath, Shower, Cup of Tea • Keep a Journal • Get Plenty of Rest • Back Rub • Good Nutrition
C. How do I manage and reduce my stress?
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Here are specific stress reduction tools:
1. Feeling supported and relieved through muscle relaxation – our muscles tend to clench and contract when we experience anxiety and stress. One great way to reduce stress is to scan the body head to toe, and notice muscle areas that are particularly tense. For example, when sitting in front of the computer while searching for a job, the shoulders, neck and upper back areas tend to be overly clenched. This could lead to chronic pain and fatigue and so is well worth attending to. The good news is that when you notice the clenched shoulders you can choose to release the tension. It is all about noticing and choosing since the muscle tension in this case is voluntary rather than involuntary. Make it a practice to scan your body several times a day, notice areas that are particularly clenched, and simply release the tension! 2. Reviving your sense of stability through belly breathing –Imagine a vertical line of core presence, intelligence and life connecting your head to your heart to your belly. By bringing in air from the outside through your mouth, down to your lungs and into your diaphragm you are flooding your body with wisdom, vitality and freshness every breath of the way. Now imagine blocking that process from happening by contracting the muscles of your diaphragm, just between your lungs and your lower belly, and allowing the air to go in and out only as far as your lungs. What a loss to your vitality! How disrespectful to your belly! In fact, in both Eastern and Western traditions the lower belly area is often perceived as our center of gravity and vitality; as the part of our body that keep us grounded and connected to the earth. And yet, shallow breathing is incredibly common in times of anxiety and stress. The good news is that the muscle contraction in the diaphragm that blocks air from going into the belly is voluntary, thus giving you back the power when you notice. Make it a practice to notice whether your breaths are shallow. Then, inhale to the slow count of 3 and exhale to the count of 4-‐5 sending air to your lower belly – to your center of gravity and vitality. This will revive you and calm you in no time. 3. Finding quietness and calm though meditation – All that is stressful to you these days -‐ the job loss; the frustrations; the difficult moments with friends and family; the worries about paying the bills; the sadness – are all clouds in the sky, and you are the sky! No matter how dark and grey and loaded with rain the clouds might be, the practice of mindful observation can allow you to find sanity and calm in being the sky. Just like sky, you can contain it all, and yet be vast and peaceful and clear. The practice of meditation can help you find your sky time and again. It requires taking the time, sitting quietly to observe your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations without reacting. Just noticing and allowing; remembering time and again that you are the sky.
Body: Generally, we want to activate the parasympathetic
nervous system and send signals to the brain that we are safe. One of the best ways to do that by far is through deep breathing. We can chose to intentionally practice deep breathing (belly breathing, muscle relaxation and
meditation), and we can also chose to engage in practices that naturally facilitate deeper breathing (like yoga, singing, aerobic exercise and taking a hot bath!)
6 This practice could be fundamental in learning to relate to the stressors of a job search from a more vast, eternal and peaceful place. Try meditating at least once a day, perhaps in the morning when you wake up for 10-‐15 minutes. Try out one of the many guided meditation programs available on the internet or on CDs you can borrow from the library. 4. Rejuvenating through exercise: Chronic stress is likely to create a sense of sluggishness, fatigue and sadness that unfortunately can take on a life of their own. Physical exercise is one of the best ways to combat the effects of stress, not only because it releases endorphins and increases levels of serotonin, both wonderful for your mood, but also because you get to feel refreshed, in better control of your body, more likely to maintain a healthy diet, and more connected with the world around you.
1. Cater to your mind’s need to know by clearly understanding your financial situation and needs – many of us may choose to turn away from the specifics of budget needs and constrains during times of unemployment. We may believe that it could be too stressful and overwhelming. Interestingly, not having a clear sense of where one stands may actually create a greater sense of stress and anxiety than necessary during such times. Although possibly scary, it is very important to create a clear picture of all needed expenses and all possible sources of income and financial support one may have. This can help reclaim some sense of control and clarity. 2. Cater to the mind’s need to solve problems and sink its teeth into issues and topics: There is nothing wrong with our mind even when it drives us into worry-‐land. It just does what minds do – think think think think. One way to satiate our mind’s need to think is to offer it productive ways to do so, without creating anxiety. You may think about it as if you are handing a dog (your mind) a delicious, scrumptious and juicy bone to chew on and play with (cross word puzzles, political debates, book discussions, mathematical problems, etc), as opposed to it chewing on its own flesh, thinking about things over and over again without resolution (worries and ruminations)! Stressful times are thus prime time for engaging yourself with areas of interest. 3. Come back from worry land into the now: Naturally, you would find yourself worrying during this time of stress. You are probably wondering about paying bills, buying necessities, or
Mind: Generally, we want to use the mind for what it’s good for (planning, organizing, solving problems), and get out of the mind and into our experience when it starts “taking over”,
and generating too much worry and rumination. Here are a few strategies:
7 even supporting financially some of your hobbies and needs. It is perfectly normal to be thinking about how to resolve your financial problems, and in fact, your mind is particularly helpful when it comes to that. It is only when you find yourself thinking negatively to a point of despair, or ruminating to the point that you can’t fall asleep at night, that you might need to reclaim some power away from your mind. The good news is that you can do that rather easily by remembering to notice that your mind may have taken you to a future point of imagined “catastrophe” (“no one will care for me”; “my world will collapse”, others will think I’m a looser”; my whole life’s meaning is destroyed”, etc) and reconnect with what is actually happening right now, in this very moment. You can do that by noticing your breathing, or looking at what’s around you, or noticing that you are sitting and thinking. Then pay attention to the fact that you are here now…that the catastrophe has not happened, and that your mind has taken you on a trip to worry and catastrophe land. You can thank your mind for functioning but remind it that while you may be stressed, you are NOT at an imagined state of catastrophe. Coming back to the now will automatically reduce some of the stress your mind has generated. 4. Identify the middle way, in between dichotomous thinking: You may notice that in this time of stress your mind often generates black or white scenarios for yourself: “ I need to be fully understood by my friends or otherwise I might as well stay away from people for a while”; or “If I can’t get nice gifts for people for the holidays I’m just going to drop the holidays all together this year”, etc. The problem with this kind of thinking is that they easily lead us to a place of isolation, discouragement and despair. Such thoughts are also incredibly unkind to you. When you notice extreme thinking see if there is a way to imagine what might be a middle way that a very loving friend would suggest to you if they were there with you. The middle way is the human way. During a time of stress basic kindness and humanity may go a long way.
1. Offer tender love and care to your feeling-self: The circumstances of unemployment, how they came about, and what they mean to us at this particular point in our life may evoke a lot of strong feelings. This is perfectly normal and even expected. You may feel angry about being laid off, or frustrated with employers who do not respond to e-‐mails. You may feel abandoned by the system and scared. You may feel sad about what is happening to you and to a lot of people around you. Allowing yourself to notice and acknowledge your true feelings is not going to debilitate you. In fact, it is the struggle against having your feelings that could be quite depleting. The best way to acknowledge your feeling is by imagining that a young loveable child is sharing with you these very same feelings. It is hard to imagine telling the child to snap
Feelings: Generally, we want to allow for whatever feelings we
have about our circumstances to be heard and validated. To allow our feelings to be there we must remember
that there is a clear difference between experiencing and expressing. I can allow myself to experience my
frustration, to notice my feelings and validate that they are there, and all along, I can chose whether I want to express my frustrations, to whom and in what way.
8 out of it or just ignore his/her feelings. Instead, you may want to listen, validate and offer kind encouraging words. This is what YOU need. That is what YOU can offer yourself. Doing so will sooth, encourage and revive you. 2. Find healthy expressions for your feelings – Acknowledging and noticing your feelings is very important and sometimes is all that is needed to de-‐stress. At other times, we may feel a strong urge to express and share our feelings. This is wonderful and there are many ways to do so. Writing once a day, either to yourself or as a letter to a special someone (whether you chose to send it or not) in a way that allows for direct expression of your feelings is particularly helpful. Finding friends who are willing to listen to your true experience is another. Despite what you might believe, sharing authentic feelings with friends may revive and rejuvenate them, not deplete and burden them. Finding a support group or a therapist/counselor for this period of stress may also be particularly helpful. Also, if you are finding that you have a lot of frustration and anger towards a previous boss or a specific employer or the system as a whole, writing an imaginary letter or speaking and imaginary dialogue with them, where you allow yourself to express and process how you actually feel without being harmful to anyone may also be helpful and de-‐stressing. 3. Notice what’s particularly charged for you and reclaim a sense of empowerment - sometimes, when something is particularly emotionally charged for us it may mean that the current circumstances have triggered an area of vulnerability. Perhaps a feeling of rejection is becoming overwhelming; perhaps a feeling of powerlessness and loss of control is particularly difficult based on past experiences. A good way to reduce some of the emotional charge and de-‐stress is to ask yourself “when in the past may I have felt this way before”. Then ask yourself “what may have been helpful for me back then”. See if you can offer yourself the same kind of help now. See if there is a way that you can remind yourself of your resources and strength as a way of healing and feeling more empowered.
1. Identify how you would like to be during this difficult time – often times people feel that these difficult circumstance are particularly hard on their sense of identity. It’s like the circumstance don’t fit with how you might perceive yourself and what you imagine your life should be like. The good news is that no matter how difficult the circumstances might be, there is no outside power that can truly effect what you want your life to be about. It is exclusively up to you. It’s true that it may not be exclusively up to you whether you make a lot of money or not, or
Behavior: Generally, we want to act in ways that are supportive of our wellbeing and our sense of values, intentions,
purpose and vitality.
9 whether you can support yourself through your hobbies. But it is true that you can chose to make your life about kindness, perseverance, transparency, responsibility, creativity, playfulness, or whatever it is that you identify as values that really matter to you. When you identify those values you can ask yourself, “am I living my life now, in the midst of these difficult times, by my values?” “Am I kind to myself?” “Am I assuming my responsibilities?” “Am I honest and transparent with myself and in my communication with others?” “Am I going about this process in a creative or playful way?” If you are remembering to live by your values even in the midst of difficult times, you will reclaim a basic sense of integrity and vitality that significantly reduces stress. A good way to identify your values is to reconnect with times in your life when you admired yourself and your attitudes the most. Ask yourself what guided you back then and let those values and attitudes guide you again. 2. Identify ways that allow you to sense your contribution and worth regardless of monetary rewards – In Western culture it is often hard to feel meaningful to others and to society at large unless a monetary value is attached to our actions. The truth however, is that often the types of things that truly matter are priceless. This is a good time to practice priceless acts. You may do so by tapping into your creativity, your talents, your kindness and intelligence in ways that contribute to yourself and others. It is particularly important to do so during times of unemployment as a way of reviving your sense of meaning, and reconnecting with others. 3. Connect connect connect – Feeling socially supported during times of stress is perhaps the most important contributor to our well being. It is important to remember all the people in our life with whom we wish to be in touch and for whom we care. It is then important to reach out to them. You may find that different friends offer a different type of support for you. Some might offer emotional support, some may be particularly cheerful and playful, others may offer companionship for physical activity, and others yet may be particularly good to brainstorm with to generate new creative solutions to certain problems. The truth is that people love to feel helpful and relied upon. It gives most of us a sense of meaning and purpose, and by keeping yourself away from friends and family you may be depriving yourself and them of an important sense of meaning. If you tend to isolate during this time, please, reconsider. 4. Bring your senses to life: A time of stress can feel particularly deadening and dull. You may feel stuck in a land of worries, physical clenching and boredom. Particularly good ways to reconnect with life and vitality are through the senses. Taking a warm bath with scented candles can easily reignite your senses and thus help your de-‐stress. Getting an affordable or a free massage may be another important way to activate the sense and relax the muscles. There may be massage schools in your neighborhood where interns offer free or significantly discounted services. Swimming and dancing are other important activities that may reignite the senses and allow you to feel more receptive and connected with life. Hugging your friends and family more frequently is another sensory re-‐starter, and often, a total de-‐stressor to all involved.
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D. Will I recognize the warning signs of poor stress management?
Mistakenly, some people feel that they do not have time to pay attention to their stress because they are too busy looking for work. Self care is relegated to a low priority because the main and most urgent focus is on finding work. There are countless important things to take care of, the first of which is finding a new job as quickly as possible. That said, chronic stress is very difficult, if not impossible to ignore without adverse consequences. Stress left unmanaged or poorly managed can result in the decline of health and efficiency and/or manifest as an increase in unhealthy stress induced behaviors. Decline of health: • High blood pressure • Fatigue • Anxiety • Insomnia • Body pain and weakness • Digestive problems Increase in unhealthy stress induced behaviors: • Over or under eating • Sleeping too much • Angry outburst, irritability, lashing out and/or physical abuse • Drinking too much and too often • Increased drug use • Increased or compulsive gambling • Thoughts of self harm or doing harm to others • Self injurious behaviors • Reckless driving • Reckless spending • Neglecting responsibilities To gain a better understanding of your stress response and/or learn how to better care for your self while looking for work, check out our Schedule and Locations of Stress Counseling Services. If you would like to talk with someone about whatever is on your mind you can call and talk with a supportive stress counselor right now or at any time of the day or night. NUMMI and Suppliers call Toll Free 1-888-866-7561 All others call Toll Free 1-800-309-2131