(9A) Writing

Describing a Person

By Fan Haibin （范海彬）Dong Men Junior High School

But my son likes playing basketball.

I like playing the music.

My HobbyMy Hobby

I like ________I like ________________________________ becausebecause ___ ___________________________________________.________.

ButBut my_ my_________________________________________________ . . he thinkshe thinks____________________________________________________.________.

He thinks it’s exciting.

Listen, tListen, thinkhink and write and write---sentence to paragraph------sentence to paragraph---

Listen, tListen, thinkhink and write and write---sentence to paragraph------sentence to paragraph---

It’s interesting.

riding a bicycle

it can keep me healthy deskmate likes reading

it can enrich his knowledge

Read, choose and make a passageRead, choose and make a passageRead, choose and make a passageRead, choose and make a passage

• Tom didn't come to Tom didn't come to school yesterday.school yesterday.

• Tom didn't come to Tom didn't come to school yesterday.school yesterday.

• I like Mary.I like Mary.• I like Mary.I like Mary.

• She is helpful.She is helpful.• She is helpful.She is helpful.• He is good at Maths.He is good at Maths. • He is good at Maths.He is good at Maths.

• He was ill.He was ill.• He was ill.He was ill.• She often helps me with She often helps me with

my work.my work.• She often helps me with She often helps me with

my work.my work.• She She sings wellsings well..• She She sings wellsings well..

• I am going to see him I am going to see him after class.after class.

• I am going to see him I am going to see him after class.after class.

Topic sentence Support sentence

Read, choose and make a passageRead, choose and make a passageRead, choose and make a passageRead, choose and make a passage

• Tom didn't come Tom didn't come to school yesterday.to school yesterday.• Tom didn't come Tom didn't come

to school yesterday.to school yesterday.

• I like Mary.I like Mary.• I like Mary.I like Mary.

• She is helpful.She is helpful.• She is helpful.She is helpful.• He is good at Maths.He is good at Maths. • He is good at Maths.He is good at Maths. • He was ill.He was ill.• He was ill.He was ill.• She often helps me She often helps me

withwith my work.my work.• She often helps me She often helps me

withwith my work.my work.• She She sings wellsings well..• She She sings wellsings well..• I am going to see him I am going to see him

after class.after class.• I am going to see him I am going to see him

after class.after class.

Topic sentence Support sentence

Find the sentence in each paragraph that breaks unity Find the sentence in each paragraph that breaks unity

I enjoy weekends. I can sleep I enjoy weekends. I can sleep late on Saturday mornings. late on Saturday mornings. My friends and I can go to My friends and I can go to the movies. I can do all kinds the movies. I can do all kinds of shopping. of shopping. School School homework ishomework isdue on Monday. due on Monday. We usually go We usually go

forfor a ride on Saturday a ride on Saturday afternoon.afternoon.

Find the sentence in each paragraph that breaks unity Find the sentence in each paragraph that breaks unity

Charles is very interested in Charles is very interested in cars. He knows all the cars. He knows all the

details about every new details about every new model. model.

His parentsHis parents give him $10 a give him $10 a

week for gas. week for gas.

He spends a lot of time He spends a lot of time working on his old Ford. He working on his old Ford. He attends all the car shows. attends all the car shows.

Read the following sentences and then do Exercises A and B.

a. Sue is clever.b. She is an excellent basketball player.c. She has won many swimming awards.

d. The girls in my class are quite different from each other.

e. Linda is an artist.f. Her teammates chose her to be captain of the basketball team.

g. Carol is the best dancer in school.

h. No one in school can catch up with her at the school sports meeting.

a. Sue is clever.b. She is an excellent basketball player.c. She has won many swimming awards.d. The girls in my class are quite

different from each other.e. Linda is an artist.f. Her teammates chose her to be captain of the basketball team.

g. Carol is the best dancer in school.h. No one in school can catch up with

her at the school sports meeting.

TS:TS: Kathy is athletic.Kathy is athletic. 1.1. 2.2.

3.3. 4.4.

bbff

cchh

AA

((TSTS=Topic sentence)=Topic sentence)

((SSSS=support sentences)=support sentences)

SSS:S:

a. Sue is clever.b. She is an excellent basketball player.c. She has won many swimming awards.d. The girls in my class are quite

different from each other.e. Linda is an artist.f. Her teammates chose her to be captain of the basketball team.

g. Carol is the best dancer in school.h. No one in school can catch up with

her at the school sports meeting.

BB

((TSTS==Topic sentence)Topic sentence)

((SSSS==support sentences)support sentences)

TS:_____TS:_____ SS SS 1. _____ 1. _____ 2. Kathy is athletic.2. Kathy is athletic.dd aa

33. ______. ______ 44. ______. ______ee gg

1 2 3 4

Praising cardPraising card （赞美卡）（赞美卡）———————— ，， You are my friend. I like you very much.You are my friend. I like you very much.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’m proud of you. I’ll learn from you.I’m proud of you. I’ll learn from you.Best regards,Best regards, ________________

Brainstorm

a person

classmateclassmatecute

clever

nauty

sistersister

friendsfriends............

teacherteacher

parentsparents

friendlyhonest

kind

helpfu

l .....

C

I do my homework

carefully every day.

I always help

teachers.

I never tell lies

I always share my snacks with

my friends.

I never tell lies

I can play basketball

well.

I can work out difficult Maths

exercises.

I always get As in

English.

I always wear school

uniformsI eat enough

fruit and vegetables.

C

be friendly

and kindobey the school rules be hardworkingbe good at

English

1.read different

books after class3.get up early and

get to school early

2.take blind

people cross the

road5.leave in the

rubbish bins

rubbish

8.never eat or

drink in the

library

4.usually study

in library

9.speak English well

11.be able to read

English

newspapers

6.share biscuits with

classmates 12.help decorate classroom

before the

party

7..never give up

difficult

Maths exercises10.never play

computer games

on weekdays

C

__________________________________

She never tells lies.

Although she gets poor marks in English, she tells her parents about them.

When she finds the money on the ground, she picks it up and gives it to her teacher.

When I want to copy her homework, she asks me not to do so and to be honest.

I like such an honest girl very much.

Alice is honest.

Although she gets poor marks in English, she tells her parents about them.

When she finds the money on the ground, she picks it up and gives it to her teacher.

When I want to copy her homework, she asks me not to do so and to be honest.

She never tells lies.

topic sentence

( 主题句 )

C

_______________.she never tells lies. Although she

gets poor marks in English, she tells her parents about them. When she finds the money on the ground, she picks it up and gives it to her teacher. When I want to copy her homework, she asks me not to do so and

to be honest. I like the honest girl very much.

topic sentence

主题句

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

Example 4

Alice is honest

1 2 3 4

Praising cardPraising card （赞美卡）（赞美卡）Chen JiayaoChen Jiayao ，， You’re my friend. I like you very much.You’re my friend. I like you very much.You are a warm-hearted You are a warm-hearted girlgirl. .

You raise the national flag for our school every You raise the national flag for our school every day although sometimes it is too hot outside. day although sometimes it is too hot outside. You put the poster onto the wall when it falls You put the poster onto the wall when it falls down. You down. You not only not only help to tidy up our help to tidy up our classroom when you’re freeclassroom when you’re free but also help with ou but also help with our study when we have diffiluty r study when we have diffiluty .. You really give u You really give us a big hand in our life and study.s a big hand in our life and study.

I’m proud of you. I’ll learn from you.I’m proud of you. I’ll learn from you.Best regards,Best regards,TinaTina

学生评估自己写作的标准学生评估自己写作的标准• 读起来很有趣。• 有主题句。

• 文章满 60 字。文章中没有包含无关 的材料。

• 文章首尾句有呼应。

• 文章句式有变化。• 文章语法、拼写、标点无错。

C

Correction codesCorrection codes Examples Examples

∧∧ （缺漏）（缺漏） We all students .∧We all students .∧

T T （时态错误）（时态错误） He He eateat ice cream. ice cream.

SpSp ( ( 拼写错误拼写错误 ) ) I am a I am a grilgril..

(( 删除多余的词删除多余的词 )) I like apples, and oranges and pears.I like apples, and oranges and pears.

? ? （用词不当或难以理解）（用词不当或难以理解） Being a policeman is Being a policeman is very bittervery bitter. .

PP （标点符号错误）（标点符号错误） I like applesI like apples,, and oranges. and oranges.

WOWO （词序错误）（词序错误） I like chocolate because I like chocolate because is itis it sweet sweet

C C ( ( 大小写错误大小写错误 )) I like it I like it BecauseBecause it’s nice. it’s nice.

√√ (( 好词好句好词好句 )) √√That’s what I’ll be.That’s what I’ll be.

ReviseRevise

C

Homework:

1.Polish （修改） your partner’s writing.

2.Make a praising card and send it to your parents or your teacher.