99 Will Mcconnell Rough

7/30/2019 99 Will Mcconnell Rough

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Contents

1 201 7

1.1 March . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

1.1.1 Prometheus and Mars (2010-03-09 12:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

1.1.2 Those Bonds (2010-03-09 12:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

1.1.3 TACHYDERM.(2010-03-10 04:06)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101.1.4 Telemetry (2010-03-14 01:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

1.1.5 Untitled#1 (2010-03-20 20:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

1.1.6 Reformation (2010-03-20 21:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

1.1.7 Saturday (2010-03-23 13:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

1.1.8 Austere(2010-03-23 14:05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

1.1.9 Halt-Steady (1 of 2) (2010-03-23 14:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

1.1.10 Untitled#2 (2010-03-30 01:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

1.1.11 Interdimensional Nostalgia (2010-03-30 01:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

1.1.12 Untitled#3 (2010-03-30 01:58) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

1.1.13 Confidence Man (2010-03-30 02:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

1.1.14 Reprise (2 of 2) (2010-03-30 02:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

1.2 April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

1.2.1 Antipathy(2010-04-05 13:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

1.2.2 The Machine (2010-04-07 13:05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

1.2.3 Untitled#4 (2010-04-12 03:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

1.2.4 Leaning on a Moai Head (2010-04-27 14:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

1.3 May . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

1.3.1 From the Seventh Sea (2010-05-15 05:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

1.3.2 RecentDevelopments (2010-05-15 06:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

1.3.3 mirror world (2010-05-21 07:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

1.3.4 sleepy (2010-05-22 09:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

1.3.5 CenturyCity(2010-05-22 21:58) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

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1.3.6 Who Knew (2010-05-27 11:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

1.3.7 Driving (2010-05-27 11:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

1.3.8 K. Castle(2010-05-29 04:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

1.3.9 Wide Hills, Wider Eyes (2010-05-31 13:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

1.4 June . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

1.4.1 Pinion (2010-06-09 21:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

1.4.2 Aquamarine (2010-06-14 18:58) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

1.4.3 Parallel Existent(2010-06-14 21:01) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

1.5 July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

1.5.1 Under the Green Meridian (2010-07-02 21:19) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

1.5.2 Carbuncle (2010-07-03 12:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

1.5.3 Black Suede (2010-07-07 12:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41

1.5.4 the last roadblock in Eden (2010-07-11 18:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 421.5.5 Slow News Day (2010-07-20 21:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

1.5.6 5/5/05 05:55:55 (2010-07-21 12:31) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

1.5.7 Free Radicals (2010-07-21 14:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

1.5.8 Recipient(2010-07-25 14:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

1.5.9 goodbye, long morning (2010-07-25 14:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

1.5.10 Northern Shrine (2010-07-28 14:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

1.6 August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

1.6.1 Manticore(2010-08-02 03:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 491.6.2 Extemporaneous Problem Solving (2010-08-02 11:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

1.6.3 Halcyon (2010-08-04 15:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

1.6.4 Special Occasion (2010-08-05 00:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

1.6.5 As Best You Can (2010-08-10 16:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53

1.6.6 Pall & Stella (2010-08-10 17:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54

1.6.7 Quantification(2010-08-18 11:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

1.6.8 back and forth and in between (2010-08-18 12:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

1.6.9 Statues, Greek Mythology & the Radio (2010-08-18 12:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

1.6.10 Manmade Lake (2010-08-23 16:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

1.6.11 The Invalids (2010-08-27 01:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

1.7 September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

1.7.1 criterion ofthe metadata (2010-09-07 20:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

1.7.2 Verdigris (2010-09-08 11:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

1.7.3 anomalocaris (2010-09-12 01:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62

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1.7.4 Linchpin (2010-09-14 20:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

1.7.5 Gigant(2010-09-14 21:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64

1.7.6 tension(2010-09-14 23:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

1.7.7 Untitled#5 (2010-09-18 01:24). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66

1.7.8 Home Sweet Home Theme (2010-09-18 01:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

1.7.9 Nassau (2010-09-18 01:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68

1.7.10 individual stimuli (2010-09-20 02:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69

1.7.11 contempo movie wars (2010-09-24 08:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

1.7.12 N. Land (2010-09-25 03:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71

1.7.13 Dinosaur Museum (2010-09-25 04:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

1.7.14 Parasitism(2010-09-25 04:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

1.7.15 WinterList (2010-09-25 04:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74

1.7.16 conscious effort to remain (2010-09-25 04:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75

1.7.17 Selective March (2010-09-25 04:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

1.7.18 finalazo (2010-09-25 04:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77

1.8 October . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77

1.8.1 polymath hands (2010-10-08 22:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78

1.8.2 entitlement(2010-10-08 22:31) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

1.8.3 slow, dizzy shadows (2010-10-08 22:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80

1.8.4 dead dog laughing (2010-10-08 22:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81

1.8.5 Remmy (2010-10-08 23:03) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

1.8.6 Sticks (2010-10-21 00:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83

1.8.7 Placard (2010-10-21 20:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84

1.8.8 All the money in the world wont get you out (2010-10-21 21:09) . . . . . . . . . . 85

1.9 November . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

1.9.1 Skullduggery (2010-11-05 11:03) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86

1.9.2 Highway Theme (2010-11-11 01:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

1.9.3 antimatter(2010-11-25 02:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88

1.9.4 Outside(2010-11-25 02:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

1.9.5 Mr. Sloan (2010-11-25 03:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

1.9.6 Indomitable(2010-11-25 03:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

1.10 December . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

1.10.1 Sea Side (2010-12-02 17:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

1.10.2 Rhododendron (2010-12-02 18:44) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

1.10.3 Radio Poems (2010-12-10 15:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

1.10.4 Guessing Game (2010-12-12 12:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

1.10.5 TentativeFiction(2010-12-12 12:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

1.10.6 The Streets (2010-12-23 12:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97

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2 2011 99

2.1 January . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

2.1.1

2.2 Februa

Delta, delta (2011-01-24 19:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

2.2.1 Finite Morning (2011-02-07 18:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101

2.2.2 Struck (2011-02-23 16:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102

2.2.3 Now, we go (2011-02-23 17:03) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

2.2.4 Decoder Song (2011-02-23 17:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

2.2.5 indicative (2011-02-23 17:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105

2.2.6 We are not the Counting Clock (2011-02-23 17:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

2.3 March . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

2.3.1 odd lights, strange angles (2011-03-08 23:44) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107

2.3.2

#2 andthe

premise of five people (2011-03-09 19:27)

...

......

.......

108

2.4 May . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

2.4.1 Affodell (2011-05-07 00:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109

2.4.2 One single individual (2011-05-07 05:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110

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Chapter 1

2010

1.1 March

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1.1.1 Prometheus and Mars (2010-03-09 12:18)

And I looked at Mars

saying, Why are we here?

He staredback

and replied, Why am I here?

And I turned to Huckleberry,

asking the same:

Why are we here?

And he laughed: Why ask me?

And I faced the mirror

riddled with fissures,

asking, Why are we here?

and he said to me:

The first time you ask

is expected. The second is

enough. The third is wasted.

There is work to be done.

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1.1.2 Those Bonds (2010-03-09 12:23)

When Prometheus touched

the flame,

the chain ignited.

Followed forages

and added at length,

attachingto those

tiedto the stake.

Those who dont follow

fall by the wayside.

As those who lead

find the schematics.

The last doomsday machine.

And Prometheus laughs

immolated in practice,

horizonperturbed.

But Titan stillhopes,

Mars still watches,placing aspirations,

tighteningthe ropes.

And I wake up

screaming, even then.

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1.1.3 TACHYDERM. (2010-03-10 04:06)

On that Monday afternoon, Patrickdecided to withdraw from college.

Maybe it was the smell of dry-erase in the air, or the drones of Dr. Lowrey but that doesnt matter. It

was a longtime coming: a storm brewed from malcontent in classrooms that were never relevant.

The term higher education had lost its allure through unfilled promises and misguided expectations. At least

it had so far.Looking up from his notebook, Patrick Dateman, twenty years old, shot five different holes throughthe lesson

plans of his professor. He hadnt opened the required texts once during the semester, and h a d n t thought

twice about studying. The lack of concern towards grades and numbers had been well established by his

sophomore year, andwithanotheryear to go, his apathy could solidify no more.

The well was dry.

Youll find that this area of study is arbitrary to scholastic integrity, lectured the professor, Patrick only

picking upnon-distinctmurmurs, andthatthethinkingprocess behindpedagogy is relevant inmoreways

thanone.

Mr. Dateman, can you please reiterate what Ivejust proposed? inquired the instructor,afternoticing the

only pairofeyes in the class room that werent utterly enrapt.

Taking the time to finish writing a sentence in his notebook, Patrick tilted his head, looking up. His

demeanoranswered the question, yet he still spoke.

No.

And why is that? The teacher asked with a rhetorical pause, expecting no answer, Youll have to pay

more attention if you want to make this a true learning experience, taking a breath before finishing the

platitude, thematerialinthisclassgoesbeyondgradesanddelves intothethingsyoulldoonceyoureout

ofschool.

Now, hecontinued, PleasereiteratewhatIwasjust lecturingPatrick interrupted the instructor.

There s nothing Id take out ofthis class seriously, said Patrick, in a rapid, adamant tenor, The things

we discuss arent legitimate in any sense, and we only talk about learning instead of actually learning

anything.

Silence immediately spread across the classroom, closing conversations as a wall of eyes fell upon the whistle-blower.

Bewildered, and maybe, just maybe shaken to the core, Dr. Lowrey took ample time before responding:

Mr. Dateman, Ifthat s how you, erm, feel about the learning process here, then I suggest you d start taking

classes that interest you or, umm, take a good long look at yourself, sputtered the professor, tripping over

every othersyllable and losing the passive, content look he had shouldered foreightweeks.

Patrickgathered his things and walked out ofthe room.

Treading throughthe hallway, more than slightly dazed, Patrickalmost walked rightinto Professor Maitland,

whom he hadn t seen since his freshman year.

Why, hello there! said the good-humored professor, stopping to chat.

Oh, hello, said Patrick, pulling his eyes from the floor.

Learning a lot? asked Maitland.Patrick looked back down at the floor. Shifting his weight on one leg, then on the other, raising his head

only to chortle and squeak, No, not really; I dont think I m going to stick around this place much longer.

Maitland s smiledisappeared.Narrowinghis eyes,hestaredathisoldstudentandasked, Andwhymight

thatbe?

Patrick started, The only way I can explain it is like this do you thinkits important where you re studying

or howmuchyoure learning?

Maitland didn t move and waited for the student to continue.

I mean, said Patrick, feeling vindicated, Im ahead of everyone here, I know way more, but my grades are

terriblebecauseIcantpayattentionforfiveminutes.

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He looked up and returnedMaitlands stare.

Its not my fault either. Why should I pay attention ifits arbitrary anyway? said Patrick. I already know

everythingIneedtoknowatthispoint intime,sowhyshouldIhavetopayforanythingelse?

Maitland slowly nodded.

More importantly, I m wasting my time here, and I don t know about my peers, but itperturbs me, Patrick

finishedwith a shrug.

Mr. Dateman, what youll be doing forthe next few years are going to have an effect on what you re goin

to do forthenext few decades, said Professor Maitland, unwavering, If you want to drop out and surviv

offcreativity,hardwork,and sheermot ivation,Ithinkyoullbe inforanasty surprise.

Patrickshoved his hands in his pockets,averting his eyes from Maitland.

I think I could do it, he spoke up, and I cant stand being here. I might have just made that clear t

more thanafewpeople.

Maitland smiled, not knowing what had occurred prior to theirchance meeting, and said Well, in any case

you should stick it out. By the time you find out dropping out is a mistake, theres no way to compensat

or fix what could havebeen. Youllendupmediocre. Justusethebestofwhatyouhave,okay?

Patrickfrowned at the candid words, but nodded.

Illhavetobegoing, saidMaitland, butIexpecttoseeyouaroundhere intheFall.

Nodding as the professor walked by, Patrick turned around, peering down the hall and a t t h e classroom h

stormed out ofearlier.He looked down.

One way or the other.

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1.1.4 Telemetry (2010-03-14 01:22)

Starting with a yawn,

my friend always says,

Sleep when youredead!

However,

the feelings and

feeling

are mutuallyexclusive.

Maybe its been

19 years and I

havent found a good reason

yet. With a yawn,

I always hope

its never too late to start.

I go over these lines

laying on the floor;

its almost 5AM.

Its never too late

to sleep when youredead

and writepoetry

in the morning

and maybe read it aloud.

We should stay up again

Ill sleep when Im dead.

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1.1.5 Untitled#1 (2010-03-20 20:59)

I cant help but

stareoutsidewhile

those around me

cower and hide;

the date has

fallen, timehas

run out. This

is the end.

In happenstance,

all my notions

fall by the

wayside and honesty

seeps through cumuli

sheets: who you

are, or who

you let others

see?

Pay attention this is important.

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1.1.6 Reformation (2010-03-20 21:09)

Complacency has its own place.

I will sit here and

drink apple juice,

read a book

and eat ice cream.

Seclusion is over- attributed.

I will meetthemand

smile, maybe say

a word or two.

Comfort is unnecessary.

Its timeto stand up.

Ive found my reasons again.

I will keep my eyes open.

I will keep my eyes

I will keep

I, Will

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1.1.7 Saturday (2010-03-23 13:59)

Do you remember

gluing pennies to

the floor?

I dontthink you do.

Grasping at straws wouldnt

come close.

Ever Saturday Ive

come across pales in

comparison.

You twocan

only lookforward.

Ill hold hands,

facing the other direction.

Someone needs to

remember

what you did.

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1.1.8 Austere (2010-03-23 14:05)

A book ruined

by the hands

holding it,

A body ruined

by the visage

left upon it,

Silence broken

withno

replacement,

And theseare

the ones who

wont recall

Thedefinition,

otherwise

perfect.

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1.1.9 Halt-Steady (1 of 2) (2010-03-23 14:06)

An affair with lexicon

becomes obvious after many

half-heartedattempts

rather, the absence

of a healthy relationship.

And I find my works

devoid of

color and

feeling,

and well make

this a great

pointto say

good-bye,

I had fun

pretending.

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1.1.10 Untitled #2 (2010-03-30 01:56)

Husks and shells line this alley

tourniquets, among others strewn about

and the only thing I could keep thinkingabout

wasthe research paper I had to do

in a weeks worth oftime.

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1.1.11 Inter-dimensionalNostalgia (2010-03-30 01:56)

Prometheus sat on his throne, a man-made invention, and said:

I dontunderstand how you feel or how you think!

and all Titan did was blink.

I dont know whetherI can do this or not, said Huckleberry,

andwe all looked on, distraught;

for these were the looks we gave one other;

when you see through cloud cover,

we look back on these foggy thoughts,

wondering when and how weve

lost.

19


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1.1.12 Untitled #3 (2010-03-30 01:58)

Avoiding these problems can only make them worse

forevery five there can only be one

and in every thought of mine rightnow

Im looking at a loaded gun.

Every line becomes a non sequitur.

(But thats no good.)

20


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1.1.13 Confidence Man (2010-03-30 02:07)

Half ofthe ones Ive met have it in endless quarries,

and I dont know who theystarted these wells in the

first place. Perhaps someone dug them out forthemselves,

ormaybe doused them after birth with showers of

who knows what. But I dont have thesethings in endless bounds

and when I do start to try

something wells up and I forgot that I was scared

inthe first place but I dont know ifIm

any good but Bukowski says

the best dont thinktheyre good at all

ormaybe thats what T.S. said.

One day Ill be able to look you in the eye

andtell you Im good

untilthen

Im going to keep pounding on these keys

and annoy those around me to no end.

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1.1.14 Reprise (2 of 2) (2010-03-30 02:13)

In the neighborhood where we shut all the windows.

Ill never forget the people who sat out front.

On those hazy summer days, with sticks up our shirts,

we knew how to party then.

Though, so it seems, the definition has changed

quite a bit since weve been away,

And how do you feel aboutthis one? I ask.

You would always be

the first person to tellme

for that, I thankyou.

Ill let you know that Ill keep trying.

Even ifthis facade is a little too

obvious,

I have to admit,

Ive grown to like

every part ofit.

Wontyou join me?

1.2 April

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1.2.1 Antipathy (2010-04-05 13:57)

Could you find me here

inthis hole with

rags and curtains

inbetween

packed boxes and

old furniture?

In one place

I used to fathom,

now enrapt

(or gone).

Could

antipathy

clear away

theserecords?

Sittingalone

here,

looking out the windowwatching the hours flyby.

23


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1.2.2 The Machine (2010-04-07 13:05)

Even sober hands

cannot understand

the nature

and rhythm.

Yet we find

more reasons.

Sitting,

screaming and

slamming hands,

tryingto make sense.

But symbols dont follow

protocol

and

reason.

Coming of age; season

in, season out. Id

rather lay near mystacks

a bit longer

fornow.

24


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1.2.3 Untitled#4 (2010-04-12 03:12)

Thebest machine to

ever coexist, forgotten

now, dropped in the

abyss.

Even the bestmachine

will cover in rust

and cease to function

bringing about

intrepidjunctions;

even the bestmachine

over time will

be forgotten.

Maybe youll be found, though,

even by a teenager,

and for a few minutes

become a star once more.

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1.2.4 Leaning on a Moai Head (2010-04-27 14:48)

Ill find myself humming

inthe shade with

my eyes closed, with

everything making sense forthe firsttime.

I would welcome the breeze splashing across my face.

My ears open,

wide open doors.

Id let anyone in and see what they have to say;

Id shake theirhands as they leave and get theirnumbers,

calling them later when I had forgotten

what they sound like.

I could learn to breathe only through my nose

and my pillow would smell like

salt every night and that would be

fine by me.

Of course, there would be no talking. By this time,

it will be banned foryears.Communication?

We just stare at each other, making

Moai faces, leaning on Moai heads,

sitting in Moai poses.

My chin would never leave my knees;

my chin and knees would

become good friends. Helloto you,

too.

1.3 May

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1.3.1 From the Seventh Sea (2010-05-15 05:20)

I am a product of my environment,

and today the wildling comes home to roost.

They called him the native

in old, old books.

But the length of my visit

wont extendthe reaches.

Still,the sound of escape

is enticing;

likened to tentacles and manacles.

Sometimes a mask can

write your problems away,

fixthe problems before

a house would collapse

right on top ofyou.

When the two of us turned around we could still feel the water lapping on our feet,

like old dogs from the dreams we once had.

We could still feel the heat coming from the waves;not from the sea, but from the fire.

Oncethings end they dont really end

they always exist and make more,

procreate,

drawing and sketching and plottingwith

the rest ofthem.

We can hold sequels sequencesthough.

Some beings wont hold a candle to the thoughts

andpossibilities.

Im standing in the water,

feeling the waves.And like a pallid breath the waves

take and the waves wash away.

Fingernailsbitten offacross cement walls can be grown back, a

bent mind can grow back, correctly.

Sit in the water. Absorb the best antipode

found on earth

orheaven.

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1.3.2 RecentDevelopments (2010-05-15 06:00)

Little men withties held tight

wonderwhat the census will tell us,

reading theresults while watching

the gulfburn, burn, burn.

I wantto live, I wantto live again, says the newscaster.

Words float across the screen, live-captioned, but he only

pays attention to the morphine-drip, the rainbow-swirls found

onthe water. He pokes the bag with his finger and watches.

He looks at the rainbow on top ofthe gulf and dips his finger in.

Across the country, eyes widen and hold.

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1.3.3 mirror world (2010-05-21 07:13)

Youre in the sun for

about

twenty minutes every day and

youreyes always hurt and itch.

Youdont eat meals and wonder

whyyoure always hungry.

You sleep during the day and

sometimes you forget what

day it is, even what part ofthe

weekit is.

Its always darkoutside

but

sometimes friends

keep you company and

make it better.

When you finally make it out you wonder

what you were thinking;Three weeks later you wonder

who you were.

And there is no way youre

ever going back.

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1.3.4 sleepy (2010-05-22 09:27)

you breezed right in,

grabbed my hand,

told me not to

get up so fast.

I sat up, yawning,

looking around,

but you were

never here.

You touched my face

to wake me up,

just one fingeron

thetip of my nose,

a little splash of

cold water and

when I fell back asleep

you just giggled,

walkingover when i started

wheezing. Give me

your hand

and pull me up, i said.

You just laughed,

but

Im awake now

and

where did you

go?

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1.3.5 CenturyCity (2010-05-22 21:58)

Give me a sigil,

pull me out,

wring me

in one day,

aquick

flash,

there was

so much

workto

remember,

he stood outside,

tapped his face,

pointed at her

and

Im doing a

bad imitation,

five years later,

no, not even close.

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1.3.6 Who Knew (2010-05-27 11:49)

Screaming across curtains

like dripping honey,

one thousand years of

blue

electric spiderwebs,

masks under masks.

History has always been

carried on the backs, the

lashes demonized across

laughing,

laughing everything.

Did they know what

they were carrying?

Dig deep forthe finale,

stand up when theycall

your name, and

make sure youlookthem in the eye.

They dont give second chances.

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1.3.7 Driving (2010-05-27 11:59)

I listened to mad organs on the beach and I

waited for an answer, calling to the speakers

and slamming my head on a piano,

rolling my head on its axis, tongue hanging out.

Cutting my toes offwithboltcutters,

listening to my song,

the song ofmyself,

and in that timeeverything made sense:

Hetold me to go home and take a shower.

You hold your mind in the

palm of your hand; pick a good timeto

letgo.

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1.3.8 K. Castle (2010-05-29 04:54)

Even as

a

child I never

thoughtId

get out alive.

Even when

sittingon

the

floor,

Id grow

hopeless,

wondering if

I would be here

forever,

ifthere was

a way out.

Itturns outthere is

no

way out,

that we

are

all

doomed,

you will

never get

out

alive,but you

might as

well

get up,

offthe

floor,

listen

to the

music,

andturn

your head.Stareat

someone

likeyou

mean

it,

listen

tothe

music.

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1.3.9 Wide Hills, Wider Eyes (2010-05-31 13:06)

Before the cloud swallowed

the sun,

fifty years of nothing but

black ages, dark faces drawn on

walls,

stretched across

bodies,

masses,

dark matter

The first resign

openedthe hills,

the backdoor

the Moai came back and

toppled,

every single one,

the hills opened

and

light came back,

back when we

held the sun in our

pockets

1.4 June

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1.4.1 Pinion (2010-06-09 21:00)

Keep it,

wear it on your shoulder

like the bricks we

carried on ourbacks

maybe when I started

I wasnt sure what I meant

or I didnt know what was

goingto happen,

but now you

know what to hold,

who to,

and how to

move,

a treethat kept

its roots in

sand,

moving forthefirsttime

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1.4.2 Aquamarine (2010-06-14 18:58)

you-know-who

With a flick

and a dash,

the wind hollow

on old treetrunks,

sour-how-you-like-it,

made in

time,

timeagain,

the push and pull

(mostlythe push),

standing on a ring,

ahalf-emptycup.

Where the

lines cross,a hand

reachedout

to me.

I sat up with

my hand out,

back in space,

back in real-life

and yourface,

like every perfect angle.


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1.4.3 Parallel Existent (2010-06-14 21:01)

I need my feet back in the game,

cause I'm rethinking every step.

To be fresh out of your mind

every time you sit down,

like a thousand curtains

closing at once, one swoop.

Back to the way you

close your hand,

holding,

like the kid who starting crying because his dad

went to the store without him.

In one life,

yes.

And on that afternoon I saw

a rusted shopping cartin the river,

would you believe

it's something I still

hold?

In one life,

yes.

1.5 July


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1.5.1 Under The Green Meridian (2010-07-02 21:19)

Those sea-posts we used to fall

swept, clipped like knives

wracked, blown in circles

and tilted.

A study in lines a

study in lives

Theserustic parts

will not

must not

hold.

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1.5.2 Carbuncle (2010-07-03 12:13)

Those who sat with me on the bed

back in the 20th century,

with boats and airplanes.

And guns and machines,

towerswith windows,

steam (lots of steam).

When men still screamed,

when it wasnormal

back when time was not-so-important.

Things change, people

change, even the world

changes.

Some things are not-so-important

anymore,

like all ofthe above.

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1.5.3 Black Suede (2010-07-07 12:56)

I stepped offthe bus,

followed by a close friend

I hadnt seen in a few days.

He said we shouldnt have left, and

that we were going back as soon

aswe could. I turned around

and smiled. I want you to know that

were coming back, and while it might

take sometime, well come back foryou.

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1.5.4 the last roadblockin Eden (2010-07-11 18:48)

This!

the big finish

everyones here, each accounted for.

I lock eyes with everyone in the room,

Isat up.

Something I heard,

one picture comes to mind.

Someone from my dreams

contacted me in

real-life.

How do we know

when we getthere

I know Im not a serious person

but if I didnt have this

could you tell,

look at me different?

If you could see the thingsI see:

blue, blue,

electric-blue.

With legs planted firm in gravity,

slowly, in time,I

found reason to liveand now, the

converse. Thepenultimateantipode,

the last roadblock in Eden,back to

the big finishThis: defending the

will to live.

It was the truth.Its all true.

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1.5.5 Slow News Day (2010-07-20 21:12)

A man was reportedly

wearing black on Donald Road

chasing dogs and not saying anything.

A 32-year-old man reportedlywas digging a hole wearing black

clothing atthe playground on Cedar St.

An old man wasreportedly sticking his

head into a sewergrate wearing black

clothing and crying on Lake Dr.

Two young boys wearing black were

reportedly drinking from gas

nozzles at the QuickStop

on Main St. not saying anything.

A dog was lured into a runoff tunnel

on 2nd and Mertz and no one

said anything.

A twelve-year-oldboy

reportedly walking in circles not

sayinganything fortwo days on

Album Drive has now passed away.

Someone wearing black clothing

not saying anything decided to

dosomething, and started

walkingoutside on Cobb Ln.

They started converging last

night at 10 not saying anything and

disappeared behind a building.

A man reportedly was in a treewearing

black clothing not saying anything

and had to go to the bathroom

onExponentialDr.


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1.5.6 5/5/05 05:55:55 (2010-07-21 12:31)

I always thoughtit was sad

whenthey showed interviews

with a year in white fontnext

to the persons name, that they

can never revise or change what

theyve said, that theyll always

be stuck on tape, on record, that

this is the only way people will

rememberthem;the absolute

last thingthey ever said to

anyone.

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1.5.7 Free Radicals (2010-07-21 14:06)

A man looking in his mirror looks at a man looks at

the little girl who found a husk hanging in her closet,

brings it food, eventually her mother the thinggrows

eyes and finds some grating to slip through, like the park

and meets eyes out of some corner, keeps moving but

the man who saw is looking at his friend, loving and

meeting that gaze the other is disgusted, turns away,

gets a grasp on one who knows about the thing, is

looking for it sees a women withprosthetics, keeps

walking finds a sewer,gets in, looks up the man keeps

going sees something crawling in the street, is tired

he sits down, hugs his legs and triesto stay warm

because its so cold outside.

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1.5.8 Recipient (2010-07-25 14:07)

With a sense ofpurpose,

across thoseyoull never-ever see,

the old-man me cried and

cried, repeating, death death death.

We left him on the road, saying,

ifit was going to happen it was going to happen.

Sometake by the hand, yet others know

before a mouth splits open.

Others know and choose to stand

caught as whispers, keeping

vague notions of where and when

togo.

And when timedoubled-over,

carrying myself in myself,

I chose goodbye, good luck,

to nod the curtains forward. It

seems like my corddid fray at the end,

a little man ran up to me

and told me Im dead.

46


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1.5.9 goodbye, long morning (2010-07-25 14:54)

I need to get a new handle on

color, the feel,

not the artificial kind that no one can

compare with,

tiny keys that everyone keeps; the

onestheycant seem to find.

Monday mornings withexhaust and

dew andgravel,

Bumping into beetles and sweating

in a shirt that doesntfit,

Trying on a shirt that seems to choke,

in dust and fibers;

We asked a woman how much for the suit

she smiled and said her dead husband wore it.

Every wrinkle had been kind except for

those she gained while gazing the casket.

I could feel snow in the in between,every step was water down my back.

The faucet attached to my face did not like

the leaves I dived into every other minute.

Whenthe silence is deafening, when you

make something out ofthe patterns beneath you.

Onceit stands out, though,it will never

come back.

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1.5.10 Northern Shrine (2010-07-28 14:04)

Hopping mad, like Ive always wantedto be.

From the bluffs, caricatures of a high-rise,

rolling your eyes with warm lids.

Make the place you intendto keep,

glean it untilyouredead.

Aftercarbon copies disappear.

Running to the place Id made,

deep in the deep dark.

A place to keep my words.

One facsimile modern man wont touch,

at least,

in the absence of company that crumbles.

1.6 August

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1.6.1 Manticore (2010-08-02 03:08)

Flat on a stone slab,

the firstmonolith

in one thousandyears

spent watching,

reading from her book

withtwisted words,

curled like dead toes

andknotted fingers.

Thesescenes,

reverberations that seem

so familiar, not because its

happened but

because its something you can

relate to. Less of a memory

and more ofa

feeling.

Tell meifyou

see that

book.

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1.6.2 Extemporaneous Problem Solving (2010-08-02 11:56)

Often enough I would acceptthe veil,

thecurtainto fall over my own and

Id leave for a few moments, minutes.

When it wastimeto come back,

they were the ones who did the reminding,

the retooling, the reentry.

There are two sets oflids.

Open the first to see what you want,

open too hard and youll

come back.

Later days let you choose yourmoments,

this is one,

and tomorrowanother.

I am going back

because

something was

taken.

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1.6.3 Halcyon (2010-08-04 15:38)

The light at the end ofthe tunneltheytold us turned out to be false. A facsimile, a prefabrication that led

us in a wrong direction.

So where were you when all of us listened?

The reservoir you keep, filled, is more than just a mystery.

Its something I dont think Ill ever figure out.

It is imitable.

When its timeto get up you get up there is no

exit, there is no time.

Here, or in other dimensions, or in past lives,

askme the same question.

Go look in

amirror.

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1.6.4 Special Occasion (2010-08-05 00:36)

With what?

Either the conceived ill-will of a slick-heeled man,

orthe drop of a rock.

Battered, unforgiven, unchained.

Shoulders, when even, represent more than youd think.

At leastthats what Ive been told, on more than one occasion.

When you look in and lookback,

do you exchange words, anything at all?

To have all five working together,

in unison, by definition. Closing your hand

and knowing that its there,that its real.

When you cant seepast yourself

because your sockets have been inlaid, ingrained that far.

Being so close to home, everything seems like a faraway

hill,everything is a distant planet and people are just

things inorbit, colliding every-so-often.

To make your world a galaxy is making everything small-time.Ifthe world is strangerthan you could have ever imagined, thats a good thing.

Fingertips are meantto touch; you donttie stringsto them, not even once.

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1.6.5 As BestYou Can (2010-08-10 16:41)

When time careens, gone over cliffs;

beyond clichs, the battered and once original ideas ofthosewho

(cant seepast themselves)

reallywantedto try something

(ofcoursenot),

and the words ofwords

(ofworlds).

The times when th e mind is fire and the disillusionment,

discouragementto even try in the original frame.

The moment has passed, you have passed, but there is no engine to watch the past.

If a whole life was a film reel, and every picture followed one fall like the drop of a nail, Id be the one

in the room careening, watching the film come toward me, head on. You do not

sortthe film thats been spun; you do not roll the contents ofthe floor.

Time goes both ways which way youre pointing that head

decides which train,

train of thought or the train oftime.

Tell me which; close your eyes halfway.


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1.6.6 Pall & Stella (2010-08-10 17:27)

Sitting behind that counter, asking me genre fiction and Im saying yes, yes

questions being a breeze, a littletoobiting.

I went back, I trudged back to those white walls and made words work, fitting like jigsaw and asking and

gettingananswer.

Say youve never seen anythingright in front of you; we just keep staring and writing and slamming, heads

and hands and a soul like glass and feelings that will not bend.

Eyes are opaque. Deep pictures pull your hands to the glass.

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1.6.7 Quantification (2010-08-18 11:57)

The math used to conquerphysics,

angles and angels.

Limited by sticks,adults caked in

black, wool, and a dignified sense ofthe impossible.

You do not want your world constructed

in the South. Keep the unexplained and

ifthis seems to be your answer,

its not one I want.

I remember a certain conversation, spewing

how I didnt want an answer that fit millions,

applicableto billions especially

one crafted by one.

It goes without saying that even this

world contains the unexplained,

but not in the same sense;

itsjust the untold.

The unwritten exists andcan only stitch so much together.

A blanket by definition, cause, impact;

histories tied by stringstied by blue fingers.

Stick to yourown, build your own,

and thrive in your own world.

Theuntold deserves no time of

your own.

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1.6.8 backand forthand inbetween (2010-08-18 12:02)

To the capsules opening doors,

thisthe next and the day before.

They told me some kind ofradiation had caused

this monster, that the same kind (but not as evil)

would fix the problem,but

it grabbed me by the face and spent half of its time running, blindly

throughthe halls ofthe dead and

laboratories and dormitories

chasing something else,

an answer.

To bring back what has always existed, I dug up this line from the tenth dimension.

Memory that works forward, backward, following the roots of a plant. Tapped and

now fibrous, feelers like little monsters. The things we choose to keep to ourselves.

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1.6.9 Statues, Greek Mythology & The Radio (2010-08-18 12:23)

The question then becomes one of fun, my good men, and I will make that the point of departure thi

evening, explained Steven.

My mind was somewhere else. Among the books and shelves it kept coming back to that gross bump on m

forehead, if it was going to be gone in a few days, and the prospect of red and blue wasntpleasant. But

kept following him; why not.

Looking up and down a few times, he punched in a code with his stubby fingers and gave a satisfied smile:

Were in, said Steven,Just dont make a lot of noise before we get on the roof.

I kept looking around. We stood outsidethe high school, right next to a bush that would have been burnin

a few thousand years ago, and waited for the door to open. There was the kind of dew that stuck to you

pant legs everywhere, so I had a coat on.

Jon wasnt sopatient and kept tellingSteventhat he knew, he knew, and just wantedto go inside.

Finally, we breezed rightthrough the halls and head for the custodians room since it had the ladder to th

roof we wantedto climb. I forgot to mention I was the one holding the soccerball.

I guess wed been thinkingabout doing this for a few weeks, but it wasnt occasional that we did somethin

exciting. It happened now and then, like a severe thunderstorm warning. When it happened, you knew.

Jon was commenting on how strange it was that the rungs to the ladder were cold when I looked up an

saw thatwe needed a key. Masterlockhad it out for us, but in no time at all Steven whipped out some keymid-ladder, as he said, and we each tookour timegrunting and bending our way out ofthe hatch.

As soon as we got up there I tooka napkin out of my pocket with some writing on it and read it a few times

I put it back in my pocket and looked around. Apparently, on school roofs, theres more than one tier. W

were on the lower echelon. We found anotherladderand started climbing again. Steven dropped the socce

ball and looked at Jon before kicking it.

I sat down on the upper roof and looked around, there was a piece of paper barely grounded, so I picked i

up and read it a few times:

Ill write one ofthese childrens books, Super Z-

The handwriting was nice but the last half ofthe title had been stained with coffee and god knows what. I

put it in my pocket and watched the game.

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1.6.10 Manmade Lake (2010-08-23 16:25)

Something about the wind

told me to sleep, quickly,

rightthen and there,

among friends.

Sometimes you keep your

head down and stay that

way for a few

years.

Then, time sweeps like limber legs,

and you have to wake up, stand straight up.

This is that time,

and from now on

the replica houses,

with yards holding hands

sat near a big puddle

with all that fake sand.

Just drive by,dont even make a passing glance

like you hadntnoticed

the other side ofthe road.

who knew

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1.6.11 The Invalids (2010-08-27 01:30)

The Invalids live across the street always walking

and discussing each other.

They shout on the bus untilthe bus driver stops

and young kids squirm.

The Invalids take nothing, eat nothing, and find themselves

everyday at sunset.

They never wore shoes and stepped on rocks and didnt even notice. They lefttheirhair down and looked a

others with eyebrows down and didnt rake leaves and let the fence fall apart. They wrote books and rea

themto eachotherlike in my dreams and the house listened too.

The Invalids spent a lot oftime living and didnt think about being alive.

1.7 September

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1.7.1 criterion of the metadata (2010-09-07 20:10)

I am the fire that wishes to lick

the edge ofthe field ofthe horizon

of your vision.

On the third second ofthe third minute

onthe third day third hour third month

third year third decade third century.

Making, cataloging every piece of

gray matterthoughtever

conceived since

anyone cared. Or didnt, since

they all knew it was bad,

like-really-really-bad.

The sun that no one saw on the

day no one remembered ofthe

night when everyone stayedawake.

Thats where youll find me,

he says,and that is where Ill always stay.

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1.7.2 Verdigris (2010-09-08 11:00)

Everything else is taking it;

everything else is faking it.

There was a building a half mile away

that was never opened or anything

really; its stayedthe same since then.

Nothing has moved, the ancient metals

have not left the ground, everything is

rust and nothing is new.

And when it finally made airwaves

it was just news, not a story.

It was dead and making its rounds.

Dead and never to ever come back.

Everyone eventually forgot.

A few years later someone

noticed a mark on a calendar,

and everyone remembered.

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1.7.3 anomalocaris (2010-09-12 01:41)

How disorienting it is to look down

and see two hands looking back up,

put on your own pedestal.

Lettingeverythingrefresh

every so often,

a hard resetto daily doldrums.

In these flashes it speaks:

Where have I been?

Ive been sickbut now Im well.

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1.7.4 Linchpin (2010-09-14 20:57)

And theywrote:

older minds spread poison

to younger minds,

making toxic

questions feasible

if not altogetherrequired.

They wrote withmanners;

isms from habits,bits from

yesterday now endangered.

They walk with

stale air, faces less

than stellar

facing the wrong

direction like stones

that have been

and willbe

in the same placefor a thousandyears.

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1.7.5 Gigant (2010-09-14 21:12)

Borne by the sand and rocks and patterns and stone,

slow moving, still hibernated, still born.

Found in the collective minds ofthe unmindful,

ofnothing,

compacted in each direction; lulled to sleep with

streams of wet running, gliding down its face.

Whenit wakes,

when we wake,

the stirring, the vibration

fell over the cities,

towns,metropoleis;

there he climbed

the ladder ofthe dead

and with each rung

his hands wrought

further.

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1.7.6 tension (2010-09-14 23:29)

There is tension in everything.

Prethought, worry, wavering, indecision.

Its all kept in asolitaryroom,

a small closet in your head.

Theres a window near the top.

Three cast iron bars

cover the window. Theyre strewn

with rust and cold to touch.

Sometimes the window opens.

Sometimes it gets out.

Things get loose.

Gathered by busy hands,

thingsget back intoplace;

everythingoverlaps.

Everything is relative.

People find theirown answers.

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1.7.7 Untitled#3 (2010-09-18 01:24)

And he knew that the worst was over what a fleeting notion.

We sit on the other side ofthe fence, knowing which side is

which. Choosing not to look at the sun, because knowing is

enough it has always been enough.

He knew the worst was over he started breathing easy

needles left pressure balanced everythingsymmetrized.

A fence exists to separate twoentities only one was left

so existing came second.

The sun was left and the space between stayed put.

She was leftoutside knowing what would what will

happen because it was finite knowing was enough.

The sun was left.

It seems more apparent than anything else that some

people are terribly sad, dashed across pavement never

nod your head up depressed. And to these no more

attention is left.

When it started therewasnt enough time in the world foreach facetilt and sideways look. If anyone deserved anything,

any attention at all it was the one in the time when it had

actually happened.

To happen to notice to give more than one look; the tenets

that make minds peace. And even further, knowing enough

even with one lookthe places and roads some will walk with

empty hands, minds; closed eyes.

That crushing seems to find its place in every vein gap and empty.

Onethat leaves you in bed for days because its broken legs, will

state ofmind. Anything you used to stand up with before is all

gone and will nevermake a return.

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1.7.8 Home SweetHome Theme (2010-09-18 01:40)

If I told you I could redeem it, Im lying.

Everthinking there is a way out is

also a lie that will never come close; itll

dissipate right before your eyes and

youll have nothing leftto lean on.

There are no hands for balance, its all

done in one take,everything;it remains

that way in stone. But that makes nothing

impossible. It makes everything plausible.

There was noreasonto redeem anything

because you can always stand up after

youve sat down, nomatterhow hot the

sun is or how crushed, tilted your mind has

warped. Just as easily a sad expression shifts,

not because it wants to but because it has to.

Thereare extremes and there are outliers

and other termsthat dont mean anything.There are others sitting down that will

stand and come back and find me in ten

years, still alive because eyes can open.

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1.7.9 Nassau (2010-09-18 01:53)

The place you dont have a picture in mind;

a location. Please tell me nothing ofyourself,

always. When people takethe timeto ask, I

would assume thats fine,but. To start with,

oh, yourself. Its the end. Consider it infertile.

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1.7.10 individual stimuli (2010-09-20 02:29)

alp

Led me by hand,

a fine grain grasping

light shed in each,

every direction.

Alive since then tillnow-

one constant; a parable.

For tall men in suits following suit

organized in any column could

never recreate the precipice

found immediately near.

I called to the dead

in my sleep and one,

one hand responded.

Andwhen I woke,

making sure it was real,

how I had always imagined;How I wanted.

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1.7.11 contempo movie wars (2010-09-24 08:11)

We sat on hills, but the only thing we had

at our feet were questions. Time went

without pain, dreaming it wasnt over.

Nobody thoughtit should know.

But the sun stayed in grooved, fixed lines

because it was the only company left.

Listening, Mister List, teemingwith

untapped God says Im not sure.

A coat, some blood, and a puff ofdust.

Folded neat, in a pile, they were left

undera note that reads as follows:

Here lie the remains of a trillion

years at odds. Combined, quanitfied,

theyresulted. Its all we could find.

Nobody knows who leftthis pile.

No one was here when we left.

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1.7.12 N. Land (2010-09-25 03:52)

Has never looked so concise.

Landscapes tilt but tend to

come back as iftheydnever

been gone in the first place.

A man sits outside, stirring.

Bells, pipes, and puddles

are found, not seen. Heard,

though not remembered.

Besidesthe man, everyone

walks a littletoofast, as if

theyd never wantto come

back or turn around orthink.

He said to me, his eyesred,

does it seem tooQuick?

But I was then gone, too.

He sat back down, stirring.

He swattedthe dark withsweeping thoughts: the places

he hadnt been and the people

hesaw before falling asleep.

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1.7.13 Dinosaur Museum (2010-09-25 04:08)

Looking down, reaching a hand he said:

If this isnt where you wantto be you

dont have to worry because there are

goingto be so many other places that,

Will, its importantthat you thinkabout

this. So I looked and tried to remember

but nothing surfaced. No one could find

a body dragging this lake. I curled inside.

And she spoke,I feel as though all Im

doing is looking through a scope. There

is a largerpicture, one thats still forming;

Im falling between strokes,but where?

We lookedbut it was too late. Coming to

terms, signing a myriad, closing doors. I

looked up and tried totalkbut I could

only make a face and muster: Im thirty.

Among other things, dissociation was topofthe list. When everyone agreed that

it was timeto lock the door, someone

looked up and saw it had only been.

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1.7.14 Parasitism (2010-09-25 04:20)

People usually age in a way they least expect.

Nocomputer, progression, or estimation will

evercome close. Its a free radical game.

This month a scientific report was released.

It said that people follow facial expressions.

We are going to start eating how we should.

People make awful rhymes that arent in touch

and try topass it off as a secret passion they

only tellten people about. There, it goes

even furthergone, a train of children off a cliff.

Menu will be a dish/call it bananafish.

I sat in a department store/the loneliest Id ever been.

They asked me why I was there/ I said it was the end.

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1.7.15 Winter List (2010-09-25 04:29)

Says keep me busy.

They call when you

least expect and try

to make things just

a littlebit better.

List says, I wont

turn around even if

there is someone

behind me. But Im

too afraid to look.

And then he thought

ofthe time when

someone was so

afraid to answer a

door that theycounted.

Thinking is toomuch.

People try and thinkall at once and stiffen.

Dont look, dont let

air settle. Theyre stiff.

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1.7.16 concious effort to remain (2010-09-25 04:35)

aloof, entrenched, and embroiled in what?

Some would acknowledge a question, some

wouldpreferthat others lookthe other way.

Are you working to be here or working to

move on. They look down, asking hands,

finding that anyanswerhad been muted.

It was compacted overtime, eroded in

selflessness. I guess the lady was right

afterall because if you dont have your

own, youre never going to have anything

that isntyours.Dont look at me and say

youre not looking at your own face.

He asked how can youput something

togetherwhen there are no edges or

hooksordiggings: friction aintscience.

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1.7.17 Selective March (2010-09-25 04:42)

A piece of paper fell from my wallet recently

and it read of a few things that were out from

mycontrol. Geography, the leading problem,

is one you cant solve at an early age.

Later, it becomes too much; theyll pick you

tothe ground like a tent. Theyll lay you a

foundation and youll never be able to move

again and youll own a home on a dirt road.

I asked someone ifthey could remember at

all. They opened eyes and thoughts and said

That Was All Such A Long Time Ago, Ive

beenthinking, Where have you been?

Cut your legs like roots and letthemgrow.

Leave them in the sun and eyes will run

overthem like theyll never be seen again.

She lookedtowards me withoutcognizance.

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1.7.18 finalazo (2010-09-25 04:45)

It said:

Keeping his secrets in pockets,

never letting anyone know; to him

and him alone the world was blind.

1.8 October

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1.8.1 polymath hands (2010-10-08 22:22)

In the exact way brains go pink to

gray. From inaugural connections; paving

new roads, new maps, new singularities.

Turned blue, dead from use.

And if you ask them,theyll show

through sideways looks, meaningful words

hanging offsentences,turned upright in the

same sense.

When asked, from the black abyss

on the edge of unfinished maps, any mind

not yet made will take hold: the same shapes

they left us from the start.

Its where they all stopped, got out,

and looked around. The start was fun for

a whilebut its over; hands start moving

for reasons already hidden.

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1.8.2 entitlement (2010-10-08 22:31)

finds its way throughdroves,

drones of an organ

streamlined,

consolidated; everything

found good on paper.

It has been killed, by the bones in

fingers in gloves, cold, gray

now dead.

It has been back for some time, now.

Inthe eyes, stern looks unshaken,

set in stone, with no problems looking

forward.

Foundation, letterheads,unimportant

gatherings between the knowns and

haves,the who cares and vague attempts

at apathywithout any real-world know

to, how, orwhere else. Just give it up.

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1.8.3 slow, dizzy shadows (2010-10-08 22:35)

She thought I was looking at her

but I was looking at the dog.

onlythe dog. Dont look.

Now its time to start having. The

kind you dont like to start, the kind

thats easy to finish, but like melded

rust on something you pick up.

It spills out, it stays on your hands

in the Saturday you didnt want to

haveinthe firstplace.

She didnt know her months and she

couldnt remember what day it was.

Ittooktwenty years to learn a few

birthdays. It tooka long timeto figure

out a few things.

It felt like it was waking up all over

again and its like tryingto start the

fire that never should have gone out.

Dont leave me in the rain,

dont look like you did not

know.

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1.8.4 dead dog laughing (2010-10-08 22:46)

That kind ofposition will take away the

finality ofdignity, given or otherwise.

Afterseventy years, theirtime, to become

a cog, a nail; screws maligned, waived,

written off, wrapped, packaged, and sent.

From the ground to a digit, bit and bitby

rows and columns. Theyre terse,its terse.

Finality takes shape in sweeping hands,

guessing,swatting in the dark at ideas,

conspiracies and vague notions ofwho

is who, where who is going; what who

wanted.

Remmy says donttry to find out ifyoure

not ready for the answer and John looks

back, he says it was there in first place.

But hes gone now; it was a writtennote.

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1.8.5 Remmy (2010-10-08 23:03)

Was left and found on the steps, crouched knees,

sleeping hands and pins, pins and needles.

She ran monopoly: one time herboyfriend

told her he couldntpicture her face in his head.

Shedidnt find and never returned to the thought.

She ranwith The Invalids, sent Mr. Maltese a

message or two, gave Nassau the once over,

but not twice,

wondered what anomalocaris meantbut didnt

mean to lookit up.

Rather, she never saw any of it, stayed out ofmind,

and kept ran with others. With reservations, contracts,

the everyday and unimportant.

Out of mind like you like, with no other way youd

haveit.

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1.8.6 Sticks (2010-10-21 00:11)

You think itd be distracting,

noticing a hand rising below

lurching and stiff and twisted.

From The Streets set in stone,

bought by planned meetings

in uncomfortabledreams:

You will not lurch

less than youre told as

quick as every memory

dissipates. They were

cold, stickybetween

yourfingers,

syrup in diseased vesicles.

Called names in long patterns;

they will not be read again.

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1.8.7 Placard (2010-10-21 20:51)

Trudging home from school,

in an empty field that was a

soccer field. There are three

bright letters and the man is

leaning down, talking to me.

Kid,

be careful walking here. A lot

of dead people are around here.

Sounds good.

Making a crawl with

occasional shoelace nags,

He asked to follow and

talked abit more:

Kid,

when I was little,there was

this drain nextto the washer.

Like a sewerdrain.I dreamed once that I fell

through;that I keptfalling.

There were ladders and

everything was shaded like

dirty greenhouse glass.

Do you understand?

I nodded, waving goodbye.

He crouched, sticking

haunches and squintinghiseyes at thingsthat fell through

things pale green.

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1.8.8 All the money in the world wontget you out (2010-10-21 21:09)

We could really use this one,

she says, so I scratch slower.

The coin is my thumbnail.

Looking upand

down between wrong answers,

surrounded by a knot, a tangled

cord ofbloodletters, who already know.

No, not this time, he says, befriending

ahalf-smile.

Well, that is a real shame, breathing in-

You know it?

I say nothing. A television is turned on,

and the only whine in my ear is electric.

Tuesday-

I considered my brisk stride impatient,

where I was headed

but the yelling turned it into a run.

She opened her eyes when she saw me

caught in a lie

quickly, as quickly she could,

would you please go tell someone I have

to go to the bathroom now.

1.9 November

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1.9.1 Skulduggery (2010-11-05 11:03)

Why are you here,

we can suppose you

werent supposed to be

here inthe first place,

that this was found

accidentally.

The exit is usually closest

to the entrance,

said a friend, a reader of

an author. How these spider

nets meet is beyond mine,

mute supplication,

was the worst phrase Ive

ever read. And how did

I find it.

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1.9.2 Highway Theme (2010-11-11 01:08)

Its a password,

ashort

cut.

You dontthink

of being here

until its happened

again.

They are not saying

good-bye,

they say come back,

try again

we will

be here.

Once you remember,

you remember.

You can remember.

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1.9.3 antimatter (2010-11-25 02:29)

In the rut, drawn,

steaming.

These walls have

changed more than

Ihave.

So we sit turned,

facing away

the music,

waiting.

To name your

slope anticlimactic;

its not the first,

notyetthird.

Where do,

where can we

go from here?

hesays.I believe weve

been led,

pausing,

lead boots.

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1.9.4 Outside (2010-11-25 02:36)

Open-ended conversations are dangerous.

Anything can and will happen

outside,

To prevent children from crying, he would pretend

the bump was much worse.

This needs to be cut off, right now!

so They laughed.

and She left a note:

I do not want the everyday

tell me what wont and will

noteverhappen, you please.

There was a torn paperback on the floor. I picked it up.

On the bottom-right corner of each page, she drew a clock.Each page had a differenttime. It wound over and over.

Even then, it was unoriginal.

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1.9.5 Mr. Sloan (2010-11-25 03:00)

Walked around the impromptu

market, dragging an axe. Telling

anyone he could aboutthe deal

hedgotten. He wore denim with

a long beard. He had seashell

hearing. He shook hands too long.

In 1993, his furniture was donated

to aconsignment store the next

county over. In a simple trunk, they

found soiled notebooks, each page

filled back to back. The handwriting

was backwards, readable when mirrored.

His scrawlings sat in the open. The store

ownerwouldnt let anyone read them.

A local news crew did a shortfeature.

Thenightit aired, three girls were

spotted at a local gas station. Theydid not wear shoes.

A truckran the only red light in

Nassau county. The driver didnt

see any scorching or ash, but he did

see a haphazard scrap of paper on

theroad. He kept driving. A week

passed before anyone grabbed it.

Very sincerely yours,

Jen,Anne,

Jane.

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1.9.6 Indomitable (2010-11-25 03:04)

Theres this nice Epsilon symbol here.

Im not sure what this one means,

but I remember the people who leftit.

Back there, we had to repaint everything.

I let some kids back therewith a handful

of markers, like I usually do, you know,

but Iwasprettyout ofit. Later we had a

fewparents complain about the drawings.

So we repaintedit, like I said.

I dont remember what they look like.

To be completelyhonestwith you, I was

drunk. But if I told you that, this place

1.10 December

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1.10.1 Sea Side (2010-12-02 17:42)

Back to the House

(the house!) house house house, sewer, (skewer?)

We told it mattered to some;

it did mattersome.

Inchains,

chains.

Please stop, Im

nostalgic.

you need me.

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1.10.2 Rhododendron (2010-12-02 18:44)

The truth is Im beyond scared. Past the proverbial point of no return, further and farther than my last

footprint. Thats all.

I remember driving past it every week. I imagined what could be taking place, ten or twenty years agoand

how it would all fit.

I have no preference for color or taste. Flavor doesnt fit my mouth and my eyes fall flat. This though,this

had shape. It had dimension.

So I drove and made a deluge out of it; the possible Saturday mornings with lights coming in at perfect

angles.

But I only considered one day ofthe week once a week. It was a nice dream.

Once, I fell into a daze and closed my eyes. I knew it was going to happen. Lanes were merging, and, among

otherthings, I had to pull over.

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1.10.3 Radio Poems (2010-12-10 15:33)

88.7

Not much here, move along.

Nothing has changed. We will

be here by the ends of the world.

107.5

Same, same, same.

Keep it going. Keep

touching, webbingebb.

99.7

Weve made it.

The trudges are no longer deep.

There is meaning in spontaneity.

It wont last, however.

105.5

This proves it.

Polyphonic proof.

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1.10.4 Guessing Game (2010-12-12 12:45)

When wed finished running, everyone changed out. But no one paid attention to who had taken off wha

Identities were assumed based on appearances, which only would have worked a few minutes prior to, wel

its prettyobvious.

You thinkhes Skinner? he pointed, wagging his thumb.

With a slighttilt, the thickman nodded. The man in question smiled.

Nope, its me. I am. he answered.

Really?

Conversations and accusations continued;it was a guessing game. Arms flew, hands shook, again, and people

withdrew layers they had forgottenabout years and years ago.

But my eyes kept returning to something strange. One of them wasnt talking, he was just sitting there

staring. The angles of his face and eyes were obtuse. He kept staring at the one called Skinner and his eye

hadntmovedonce.

This made me slightly uneasy, since, after all, this is what everyone was waiting for. The Big Talk, as it was

billed.

But too many walls were torn down. Anyone was allowed in and no one had realized.

I started walking towards him and heard a conversation about prying open a door in a that house and

starting acatalogue. But one thing at a time.Hey, I started, extending a hand.

He turned his head towards me. He didnt say anything. I tookmy hand back.

I didnt catch your name, again, lightly.

Musgrove. There wasnt a hint ofanything.

Is that a last name or your other?

Musgrove.

Right, well then. Ill talk to you later Mr. Musgrove, I finished. He was already looking back at Skinner.

I felt bad, too. Because I knew what it all meant. No one else knew. No one had any idea. Everything was

out in the open. It was an open book.

Here was everything.

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1.10.5 TentativeFiction (2010-12-12 12:49)

Was proclaimed the best by

pros; even Errol said so.

It was the progression into

cloud thinking, computing

the knowing and having

no where to begin.

It was written in Braille

and bestsaidexcept,

it was the word

on the tip of your tongue.

Now youve lostit all.

As soon as it was here,

warming your hands just a little

its gone. It never existed.

Vanished.

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1.10.6 The Streets (2010-12-23 12:18)

Like lots of others, I took letters forgranted. Iput them in a neat pile.

When school got out Id get the phone calls. I squirmed on the line.

He talked about offshore oil wells; things he could see from home.

Lateron I remember being ecstatic, and it was unwarranted.

Nobody recognized anyone. Trees fell, sand blew.

Like that, years pass.

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Chapter 2

2011

2.1 January

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2.1.1 Delta, delta (2011-01-24 19:27)

Self-worth isntanythingwithout a label.

Its asserted. Its either called something or its

Justanotherpensive, a thinker, a pedestal,

without the laurels or boils or trademarks.

The kind of people you seldom thinkabout.

It goes all the way down,

without anyone knowing.

While the curve is rising,

until its finally here.

2.2 February

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2.2.1 Finite Morning (2011-02-07 18:33)

Eyed met like the realization of a problem,

thetilt-nod-what-have-you.

The time for work when time is toomuch.

When segments are toomuch;

frowned upon talking.

Asking to stay awake,

above and beyond.

And getting whats needed,

with no idea to start.

Who is lonely.

We are, you know,

The rest was blank

like the backs of unused hands.

Float the way,

feelbettertomorrow;

the Concrete is nothing.

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2.2.2 Struck (2011-02-23 16:40)

Do not do because

youre an aspiring,

well-thoughtand

innocentpersonality

You are not.

Do not trybecause

youre so far, its

all uphill from here,

its a given right.

It is not, you are not

Special, oranything

ofthe like, the kind who

didnt wantto get dirty

hands.

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2.2.3 Now, we go (2011-02-23 17:03)

Knowing is distant assumption.

Really knowing is drowning.

With nothing leftto the group,

theres no reason to enjoy the

company.

And its why self-censoring is

so difficult,

it feels too good, treating your

words under his acclaim.

Dont quote someone unless

you know them personally,

no,

better yet,

dont quote anyone unless youre

there when they say it.

You dont know,

you dont know it.

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2.2.4 Decoder Song (2011-02-23 17:10)

Drencher is the monster that plans my nightmares, one at a time.

Putting idiot lips in motion, if I dont like idiots, and moving snow

in the name of greater gravity. Drencher is the one that makes people

thinkthey have to stick to form, any form at all, and that they have to

sound like something besides themselves. Because what theyresaying,

the way they say it, isnt important. Thats what theythink. Thats what it

makes themthink, because Drencher is not a him or her, but the ill-intent

I find in Winter.

Thank you,

&

See you soon!

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2.2.5 indicative (2011-02-23 17:23)

Because wereback

snow is gone

and things

becomebright.

When yourewrite

over andover

it can be tough

to snap out of it, but

under the right

conditions, youll be

ableto remind yourself

about wind, the sun,

whateverelse you need.

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2.2.6 We are not the Counting Clock (2011-02-23 17:26)

and not, repeat

not, the book

you list on a bestselling

list.

Not the form done over,

over and over

(and over and over)

oranythingtheythink is good.

They thinkitsawful,

and the quiet, the wondering,

day-dreaming,

know exactly what happened.

They lookaround,

and see if anyone notices.

Itdoesnttake long

to look back down.

2.3 March

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2.3.1 odd lights, strangeangeles (2011-03-08 23:44)

Come back to me the

flood weights,bearing,

beating down. A last

question before

slipping:

Man on the hill

Friend of the room

and Remmy,

whereve you been?

Staticbuilt,

broken lenses,

fog, etc.

onward,

to see ifanything

returns a stare

Friend of the hill,

and Grays in the hall

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2.3.2 #2 and the premise of five people (2011-03-09 19:27)

In line for the promo,

each standing at a certainangle

angeles

and Im still not sure whats being

said

only happy to be back,

staring in prime sublimates

say it like pilates,

Greek

Its an educated guess.

Wait,

Archimedes was greek

now, to destroy italics;its the slant you say them

2.4 May

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2.4.1 Affodell (2011-05-07 00:54)

Blue space is where you are.

No thinking at least, no real thinking

was done here. Donttell what you think

Whats felt, buried or hung or dried

and on and on, an old man holed in.

Keepme buried, he says.

No puzzles, they say. No more puzzles.

A wave strongerthan a winding road

andgaps and leaps and jumps

With the people caught in mirrors

talking over others,

all others

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2.4.2 One single individual (2011-05-07 05:10)

Ill walk with a warm sun and breathe.

Its not that nothing ends; everything ends.

Its about the new page, the new flash spout

when you werent looking.Give your everythingto the light

so you can takeeverything in.

Or music, or something.

Sleep can do that to you because its cement.

Take a break and cut some strings, as thingswont make sense and they shouldnt anyway.

Things things say, Move right along and dont play the world as jokes.

Hes right, I think.

-

Is love a dog from hell?

Nah

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99 Will Mcconnell Rough

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