7/30/2019 10.How Insecure People Behave

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How insecure people behave

In the gym its so common that conversations start between complete

strangers.If someone was occupying a certain machine then its so common foranother person to come to him and to ask him to join him.

While i was working out on one of the machines came a guy with frowningface and who said in an aggressive way "How many turns you have left"

Had i knew nothing about psychology i would have felt angry and mighthave considered his action unacceptable but because i understood thatthe guy was feeling insecure i smiled back and told him "you can join meif you want"

What does the guy's behaviour has to do with insecurity? and why was heacting in an aggressive way?

Insecurities and self doubts

When a person has self doubts or when he believes that he has a certain

flaw he starts to compensate (

) for these flaws by doingcertain actions that might offend others .

The guy in the previous example had doubts about his own masculinity.

Its not that he believes that he is not a man but it happened that hebelieved that he was not a man enough.

Maybe because he was not that successful, maybe because people alwayscriticize him or maybe because people used to bully him in his childhood

The reason won't matter but the final conclusion is what matters.

That guy feels insecure because he doesn't feel that he is a man enoughand as a result he compensates by displaying aggressive and overlyassertive behavior

Had that guy felt good about himself he would have approached me witha smile on his face but because he believed that a smile would make himappear less manly he choose to frown instead.

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7/30/2019 10.How Insecure People Behave

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Why insecure people behave that way

Of course not all insecure people behave in an aggressive way but all of them without exceptions behave in a certain way that helps them hidetheir specific insecurity.

The following lines will explain why insecure people behave the way theydo:

They develop self doubts: For example a guy might start believingthat he is not attractive. This limiting belief becomes the seed thatgrows into insecurity later on

They confirm their doubts : Insecure people start to collect biasedevidences from the external world just to prove their self doubtstrue. For example the guy who believes that he is not attractive willalways relate each rejection he gets to his unattractive looks

They compensate : Finally the insecure person will behave in a waythat allows him to compensate and hide his insecurity .

For example the guy who believes that he is not attractive mighttreat girls in a mean way just to act as if he doesn't care about theirapproval . In such a case he sticks to the "reject them before youget rejected" strategy!

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