Analysis Errors10 Common Mistakes

in your Analysis Paragraphs

#1: Italics The title of the book is italicized.

• The Great Gatsby

#2: Topic Sentences A topic sentence always contains at least

one association and a relationship pattern. It will also connect to the greater theme.

• Tom is repeatedly characterized as an arrogant brute.

• In contrast to Tom, Gatsby is shown to be full of hopeful anxiety.

• The affluent Tom is repeatedly characterized as an egotistical brute whose obsession with wealth proves the arrogance of old money.

#3: No Organizational Strategy

You must use transitions that give time, place, or idea

Use the same strategy throughout the paper• Tom is first shown…• Initially, Gatsby is…• At his house, Gatsby…Again at his house, …• Tom is selfish when he…His selfishness

continues when…

#4: Follow Protocol! Use the 8 part “procedure”! Available on both blue and green sheets.

• Topic Sentence• Transition• Associative Statement (evidence blended in

associative words)• Commentary• Transition• Associative Statement• Commentary • Conclusion

#5: Blend Evidence Lead in to your evidence with the

association to make…and lead out with the association as a reminder (P.I.B.!!) • WRONG: He fails to show that he is old

money by the artificial, materialistic side to him. “…thin beard of raw ivy…more than 40 acres of lawn and garden.” (Fitzgerald, 5).

• RIGHT: The artificiality of his house with its “thin beard of raw ivy” suggests the phoniness of his wealth (Fitzgerald 5).

#6: Failing to add supporting commentary

You must elaborate on what you meant by the evidence, showing how it proves your TS• The artificiality of his house with its “thin beard

of raw ivy” suggests the phoniness of his wealth (Fitzgerald 5). Gatsby is trying to imitate old-money grandeur that

he has seen before, with rolling acres of green lawn and luscious landscaping. However, the fact that the ivy is so new and undeveloped mimics his own wealth: the depth of his aristocracy is fake and it shows in his derivative possessions.

#7: Using Evidence to prove evidence

Use your authentic voice! Other author’s words should not be your only commentary• WRONG: The artificiality of his house with its “thin

beard of raw ivy” suggests the phoniness of his wealth (Fitzgerald 5). Proving that “the depth of his aristocracy is just not there” (Smith).

• RIGHT: The artificiality of his house with its “thin beard of raw ivy” suggests the phoniness of his wealth (Fitzgerald 5). Gatsby is trying to imitate old-money grandeur that he has seen before, with rolling acres of green lawn and luscious landscaping. However, the fact that the ivy is so new and undeveloped mimics his own wealth and “the depth of his aristocracy is just not there” (Smith).

#8: Evidence is too long. Use only what you need to establish your

associations. • WRONG: But Tom and Daisy were perfect because “They

were careless people, they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back to their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they made” (Fitzgerald 179) .

• RIGHT to paraphrase: But Tom and Daisy were perfect together, each wrecking havoc before “retreating back to their money” and letting others tidy up their chaos (Fitzgerald 179).

• RIGHT to direct quote: But Tom and Daisy were perfect together, “smashing up things and creatures” before “let[ting] other people clean up the mess they made” (Fitzgerald 179).

#9: Evidence has no connection to Associations

Don’t just stick any evidence in – make it meaningful, that it can prove the association on its own.• WRONG: This hope repeats itself through his side

business with “Wolfsheim and selling illegal alcohol” (Fitzgerald 133) which is how he got his wealth in the first place.

• IF YOU MUST: Gatsby’s wish is Daisy and his only hope of getting her is with “Wolfsheim and selling illegal alcohol,” (Fitzgerald 133) a shady business that nevertheless gives him the money he needs to continue his optimistic quest for love.

#10: Improper punctuation

Punctuation AFTER citation …and “reaching for the green light”

(Fitzgerald 7). UNLESS the original quote had a

question mark or exclamation point. …asking, “Whatever did you mean?”

(Sutton). … “Why of course you can!”

(Fitzgerald 46).

Final Thoughts What’s with all the unnecessary

capitalizations? Seriously, that red line under a word

means it’s misspelled. Use grown up words. And synonyms. Write complex sentences because

commas and conjunctions are dope. This SHOULD be uncomfortable to do.

It means you are growing, people.

HOMEWORK Submit an entire draft to Turn It In before

9am tomorrow. 25 pts. • MLA format with heading, header, title• Introduction paragraph• 2 body analysis paragraphs• Concluding paragraph• Works Cited page

Bring a printed copy of your entire paper to class for peer review. 25 pts. No printer? Come early and print in library.