1 Dating, Single Life, & Mate Selection Perhaps the characteristic of mate selection in America that...
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Transcript of 1 Dating, Single Life, & Mate Selection Perhaps the characteristic of mate selection in America that...
1
Dating, Single Life, & Mate Selection
Perhaps the characteristic of mate selection in America that most distinguishes is us from the rest of the world is that we get to do it!!!!!
There are no arranged marriages, chaperones, childhood betrothals
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Dating, Single Life, & Mate Selection
The topic of mate selection has become increasingly complex as American lifestyles have changed
Increasing numbers of Americans are delaying marriage, cohabitating and divorcing; some never marry at all
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Why do we date?
Dating fills time between puberty and marriage
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Why do we date?
Dating is a way to gain social status based on whom and how often one dates
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Why do we date?
Dating is opportunity for the sexes to interact and learn about each other.
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Why do we date?
Dating meets ego needs
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Why do we date?
Dating leads to mate selection for most individuals
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Dating and communicating
Poor communications and lack of commitment are 2 major problems and we know that these are the major building blocks for successful relationships.
Sexual intimacy seems to take away from these important factors
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Changing sexual mores
American sexual mores have become increasingly liberal – Popular culture – movies and music – Premarital sex– Historical double standard for women
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Changing sexual mores
Sexually transmitted diseases – Lets look at appendix A for a little bit
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Changing sexual mores
Unwanted pregnancies are a problems – Pro choice vs. Pro life: is this something that
should have been communicated before you had sex?
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Changing sexual mores
Early commitment and isolation The quality of sex
– Usually pretty poor– What about date rape?
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Date rape and courtship violence
Generally women of all ages, races, and marital status report that most incidents of violence are committed by an acquaintance rather than by a stranger
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Date rape and courtship violence
Men often appear to confuse friendly with sexually interested
Combine this scenario with alcohol and a stage is set
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Date rape and courtship violence
Many men and women do not discuss their sexual intentions openly and frankly
Differences exist in perceptions of sexual intent
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Date rape and courtship violence
Differing expectations about what stage in the relationship sex is okay
Miscommunication is more common when alcohol or drugs are being used
The use of token resistance by some women may create a belief in some men that protest encountered is not really meant by women– NO MEANS NO
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Date rape and courtship violence
Date-Rape Drug Prohibition Act of 2000
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Dating patterns
There is great opportunity for informal opposite sex interaction
Dating is less formal
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Dating patterns
There no longer seems to be a set progression of stages – Casual dating of numerous people– Multiple dates with fewer persons– Going steady– Cohabitating or getting engaged – Married
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College dating
Hooking up or being joined at the hip Bad dates Exploitation Rape culture
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Social channels of love
Dating varies with social class, ethnicity, and cultural background.
Dating is homogenous Propinquity
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Postponing marriage& cohabitation
Greater acceptance of sex outside of marriage
Education Career choices Self-fulfillment
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Cohabitation and Marriage
Cohabitating partners are more unfaithful and fight more often than married couples
Higher rates of domestic violence
Marriage after cohabitation tends to be more unstable
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Cohabitation and Marriage
People who are divorced are more likely to cohabitate afterwards – Self-fulfilling prophecy? – Enter a relationship partly to see if it will last,
and by keeping the possibility of an easy out you be helping the break up from the beginning
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First impressions
Physical attractiveness
Halo effect- the tendency for first impressions to influence succeeding evaluations – Give a person traits that are not even there– Future disappointments
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Physical attractiveness
Usually an advantage however– Some persons tend to avoid highly attractive
people• Fear of rejection
• Sought after by others in the future
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Engagement
Until recently it has been a pretty formal stage– Increased age for marriage– Remarriages– Cohabitation
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Functions of engagement
Where will live? Children? Money? Employment
– Premarital medical exam– Premarital counseling