09-03-10 7th Graders Must Face Naked Truth
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. \ \ I l MERRITT PATTERSON \ . '. \ 7th-Graders I Must Face Naked Truth i Showering in groups surely scars our kids I thought that seventh grade at Highland Park Middle School couldn't be too drastically different than fifth and sixth. It's just on the other side of the same building, right? But now, when I look back on that naivety, I kind of . wince.. Dear Highland Park. Middle School assistant principal Mr. Bohac, I'm new to your side of the school, and I have a couple ofquestions, mainly about the dress code and . · those poor naked boys. First, the dress code seems very clear. One of the guidelines states spe- cifically that tank tops are not permitted. So why =does-every female student - argue in the Abercrombie dressing room, "MOM! I know it says that, but it just means the strap can't be' less than two Bohac fingers wide." How do they know this? Where is it written? · And if this is true, can you either meet me at the mall or provide the exact mea- surement of two of your fingers? And is there any wiggle room on this mid-thigh .requirement for shorts? It's sonot fair.Boyslookfinein frumpy lengths, but girls are wearing jeggings, and it's 195 degrees outside. I'm thinking the rule could use some editing, like: "fash- ionable shorts, nothing sleazy." And of course, if · anyone abuses the update and shows 'up looking like a pole dancer in training, they'd be issued cheap scrubs fresh out of abox in your office. Or something like that. Also, is there anything we can do for the boy moms about the no-athlet- .ic-shorts rule? Foot Locker doesn't sell khakis, and I don't think boys at this age even know how to walk in clothing without an elastic waist. Maybe the admin- istration can iocate a few comfy brands of pr 'ppy shorts and offer the n in the supply shop, bec use I'm hearing this is a s rper- huge problem. Next, I realize that (;om- munal showering faciiities for boys are not excl sive to HPMS and that it was a widely accepted thing when we were grow- ingup. But so was ge .ting whacked by a coach with a .ginormous wooden pa Idle, and that practice was out- lawed. So I'm wand' ring r-r- why do we still re uire n-to-is-year-old boj sto be naked in front of ach other without even, the slightest partition? I don't care what anyone sm s- there's something p etty traumatic about that. . I watched The Tudors; they were totally nuts and chopped people'S h !ads off for ridiculous s :uff. That's exactly what e're going to look like in _ iov- ies 50{l vears fro ow .. FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 3. 2010 MIS/HPMS ($3.5 million of which was used for the gym and athletic areas} could have been used for a few flimsy half-walls. I'd appreciate it if you could pass that along to the higher-ups. Let me know what day you can meet us at the mall! Until then, thanks for allyou do. Sincerely, .Merritt Patterson E-mail merritt@ peoplenewspapers.com when they feature junior- high boys showering~vith- out privacy as an ex ple of our era's most barbaric customs. Seriously. We spend all this energy fighting bt lies andprotectingthe rights of victims, but then we strip 'em down and throw them in abig shower together. I'm not callingl for another big construction project on the boys'locker • room or anything. I'm just sayin' that maybe some of the $20.5 million we just spent on improvements to ot fair.Boys look :finein frumpy lengths, b It girls ........ 'are wearing j eggings and it's 195degrees outsi .e:' -MERRm PATTERSON(,iee Page lB.) ,; I
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Transcript of 09-03-10 7th Graders Must Face Naked Truth
. \
\Il
MERRITT PATTERSON \. '. \
7th-Graders I
Must FaceNaked Truth i
Showering ingroups surelyscars our kidsI thought that seventh
grade at Highland ParkMiddle School couldn't betoo drastically differentthan fifth and sixth. It'sjust on the other side ofthe same building, right?But now, when I look backon that naivety, I kind of .wince ..
Dear Highland Park.Middle School assistantprincipal Mr. Bohac,I'm new to your side of
the school, and I have acouple of questions, mainlyabout the dress code and .· those poor naked boys.
First, the dress codeseems very clear. One ofthe guidelines states spe-cifically that tank tops arenot permitted. So why=does-every female student -argue in the Abercrombiedressing room, "MOM! Iknow it says that, but it justmeans the strap can't be'less than two Bohac fingerswide." How do they knowthis? Where is it written?
· And if this is true, can youeither meet me at the mallor provide the exact mea-surement of two of yourfingers?And is there any wiggle
room on this mid-thigh.requirement for shorts? It'sso not fair.Boys look fine infrumpy lengths, but girlsare wearing jeggings, andit's 195 degrees outside. I'mthinking the rule could usesome editing, like: "fash-ionable shorts, nothingsleazy." And of course, if· anyone abuses the updateand shows 'up looking likea pole dancer in training,they'd be issued cheapscrubs fresh out of a box inyour office. Or somethinglike that.Also, is there anything
we can do for the boymoms about the no-athlet-.ic-shorts rule? Foot Lockerdoesn't sell khakis, and Idon't think boys at this ageeven know how to walk inclothing without an elasticwaist. Maybe the admin-istration can iocate a few
comfy brands of pr 'ppyshorts and offer the n inthe supply shop, bec useI'm hearing this is a s rper-huge problem.Next, I realize that (;om-
munal showering faciiitiesfor boys are not excl siveto HPMS and that it wasa widely accepted thingwhen we were grow-ingup. But so was ge .tingwhacked by a coach with a.ginormous wooden pa Idle,and that practice was out-lawed. So I'm wand' ringr-r- why do we still re uire
n-to-is-year-old boj s tobe naked in front of achother without even, theslightest partition? I don'tcare what anyone sm s -there's something p ettytraumatic about that. .I watched The Tudors;
they were totally nuts andchopped people'S h !adsoff for ridiculous s :uff.That's exactly what e'regoing to look like in _ iov-ies 50{l vears fro ow
..
FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 3. 2010
MIS/HPMS ($3.5 millionof which was used for thegym and athletic areas}could have been used fora few flimsy half-walls. I'dappreciate it if you couldpass that along to thehigher-ups.Let me know what day
you can meet us at themall! Until then, thanksfor all you do.
Sincerely,.Merritt Patterson
E-mail [email protected]
when they feature junior-high boys showering~vith-out privacy as an ex pleof our era's most barbariccustoms.Seriously. We spend all
this energy fighting bt liesandprotectingthe rights ofvictims, but then we strip'em down and throw themin abig shower together.I'm not callingl for
another big constructionproject on the boys' locker •room or anything. I'm justsayin' that maybe some ofthe $20.5 million we justspent on improvements to
ot fair. Boys look :finein frumpy lengths, b It girls........'are wearing jeggings and it's 195degrees outsi .e:'
-MERRm PATTERSON(,iee Page lB.),; I
