WHY I HATE FOUAD

BY: JACOB WELLS

FIRST REASON

HE IS LEBANESE

SECOND REASON

HE SUCKZ AT MUSIK AND SPELLING

THIRD REASON

HE CANT DO A BACKFLIP

FOURTH REASON

HE IS A TERRIBLE DRUMMER

FIFTH REASON

IF HE WAS A GIRL, HE’D BE A FAT GIRL

SIXTH REASON

HIS FAUXHAWK IS GAY

Exhibit AExhibit A

JUST KIDDING…

I LIKE HIS FAUXHAWK

SEVENTH REASON

HE CANT DRIVE WITH HIS FOOT, LET ALONE HIS HAND

EIGHTH REASON

HE TRIES TO PLAY ULTIMATE FRISBEE… I DON’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM HE SUCKS. OOPS.

NINTH REASON

HIM+PONG OF ANY TYPE = COMEDY AT ITS BEST

TENTH REASON

HIS EARS DON’T LINE UP WITH THE REST OF HIS FACE

ELEVENTH REASON

HIS VIBRAMS ARE GAY. AND LOOK LIKE WATER SOCKS

TWELVTH REASON

IF HE WAS AN INSTRUMENT, HE’D BE A VUVEZUELA

THIRTEENTH REASON

HE THINKS HACKY SACKS ARE COOL

FOURTEENTH REASON

HE LIKES BOYZ

FIFTEENTH REASON

HE WANTS TO BE A MODEL AT HOLLISTER

SIXTEENTH REASON

HE CANT PLAY MARIMBA AS GOOD AS JAMES FITZGERALD OR THAT BLIND GUY WHO TRIPPED AND FELL INTO ONE

SEVENTEENTH REASON

HE “LIKES THE SMELL OF WOOD” (HOMO)

EIGHTEENTH REASON

HIS IDOL IS ZACH CHRUMA, ENOUGH SAID.

NINTEENTH REASON

HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF TIMING

TWENTIETH REASON

HE THINKS THE 60 IS THE 202…EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNS TELL HIM HE IS WRONG

TWENTY-FIRST REASON

WHEN HE WAS 10 HE HAD A BOWL CUT. LOLZ

TWENTY-SECOND REASON

HIS INVENTIONS AND SUPERPOWERS ARE SILLY

TWENTY-THIRD REASON

HE LIKES TO DRESS UP AND PLAY WITH DOLLS

LAST REASON

HE WAS BORN

JUST KIDDING

(NO HOMO)