The Flight From Conversation By: Mark Dimock

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We live in a technological universe in which we are always communicating.

And yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection.

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The little devices most of us carry around are so powerful that they change not only what we

do, but also who we are.

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Photo by: Susan Sermonetal (flickr)

Photo by: Jim Bumgardner (flickr)

In the silence of connection, people are comforted by

being in touch with a lot of people — carefully kept at

bay.

We are tempted to think that our little “sips” of online connection add up to a big gulp of real

conversation. But they don’t.

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Connecting in sips may work for gathering discrete bits of information...

But connecting in sips doesn’t work as well when it comes to understanding and knowing

one another.

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We think constant connection will make us feel less lonely. The opposite is true.

If we are unable to be alone, we are far more likely to be lonely.

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People can’t properly express emotion or

complete thoughts in a short text message

As we get used to being shortchanged on conversation and to getting by with less, we seem almost willing to dispense with people

altogether.

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“Someday, someday, but

certainly not now, I’d like to learn how to have a conversation.”

–Sixteen Year Old

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Human relationships are rich; they’re messy and demanding.

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Often, I will be somewhere, and see people my age who are supposed to be a “couple” who are barely able to

say hi to each other.

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I’m sure as soon as they go home, their iPhones will light up with little hearts and endearing expressions

of their undying love.

We don’t know how to actually deal with one another anymore, because real life doesn’t come with a delete button and little smiley

faces.

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We need to remember — in between texts and e-mails and Facebook posts — to listen to one another

Photo by: Jakub Hlavaty

People want most of all to be heard; to have others listen to them — really listen — and understand their needs and concerns.

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So I say, look up, look at one another, and let’s start the conversation.

References

• The Flight From Conversation. Sherry Turkle. The New York Times. April 2012. (Slides: 2-10, 12, 14, 18-20)

• Texting teens don’t know how to have real conversations, http://www.voxxi.com/texting-teens-conversations/#ixzz2TcBxe5Je (Slides: 11, 15, 16, 17)