The Art of Listening

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Learning outcomes

• Explain what we mean by listening skills

• Identify why listening skills are important, from an employability perspective

• Identify key reasons why we often fail to listen effectively

• Adopt simple listening techniques to ensure that you listen effectively

Introduction

• Almost 45% of time we spend in listening.

• An essential management and leadership skill.

• A process of receiving, interpreting and reacting to a message.

• Difference between listening & hearing

Why Be A Good Listener?

Needs of the Customer… • To be recognized and

remembered

• To feel valued

• To feel appreciated

• To feel respected

• To feel understood

• To feel comfortable about a want or need

Traits of a Good Listener

• Being non-evaluative

• Paraphrasing

• Reflecting implications

• Reflecting hidden feelings

• Inviting further contributions

• Responding non-verbally

Percentage of Communication

Mode of Communication

Formal Years

of Training

Percentage of Time Used

Writing 12 years 9%

Reading 6-8 years 16 %

Speaking 1-2 years 30%

Listening 0-few hours 45%

Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment

…a way of saying, “You are important.”

Listening builds stronger relationships …creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.

Listening promotes being heard

…”Seek first to understand, then be understood.”

- Stephen Covey

Listening creates acceptance and openness

…conveys the message that “I am not

judging you.”

Listening

leads to

learning …openness

encourages person

growth and learning

Listening reduces stress and tension

…minimizes confusion and

misunderstanding, eliminating related

stress and tension

Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution

…much conflict comes from the need to be

heard. Successful resolution depends on

being a non-anxious presence.

Barriers to Listening

• Equate With Hearing

• Uninteresting Topics

• Speaker’s Delivery • External

Distractions • Mentally Preparing

Response

• Listening for Facts • Personal

Concerns • Personal Bias • Language/Culture

Differences • Faking Attention

Bad Listening Habits

• Criticizing the subject or the speaker

• Getting over-stimulated

• Listening only for facts

• Not taking notes OR outlining everything

• Tolerating or creating distraction

• Letting emotional words block message

• Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

WHAT IS LISTENING?

If you ask a group of people to give a one word description of listening, some would say hearing.

BUT LISTENING…

Is following and understanding the sound---it is hearing with a purpose.

Listening vs. Hearing

• Hearing- physical process; natural; passive

• Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill

• Listening is hard! You must choose to participate in

the process of listening.

RECEIVING SKILLS

• Listening is composed of six distinct components

• Hearing: The physiological process of receiving sound and/or other stimuli.

• Attending: The conscious and unconscious process of focusing attention on external stimuli.

• Interpreting: The process of decoding the symbols or behavior attended to.

• Evaluating: The process of deciding the value of the information to the receiver.

• Remembering: The process of placing the appropriate information into short-term or long-term storage.

• Responding: The process of giving feedback to the source and/or other receivers.

Facts about Listening

• Listening is our primary communication activity.

• Our listening habits are not the result of training but rater the result of the lack of it.

• Most individuals are inefficient listeners

• Inefficient and ineffective listening is extraordinarily costly

• Good listening can be taught

Styles of receiving:

There are a number of styles of receiving information. The appropriate style is dependent upon the relative importance of content compared to the relationship and the involvement of the individual receiving the information.

Facts about Listening continued

• Listening: Learned first, Used most (45%), Taught least.

• Speaking: Learned second, Used next most (30%), Taught next least.

• Reading: Learned third, Used next least (16%), Taught next most

• Writing: Learned fourth, Used Least (9%), Taught most.

Relational Receiving Skills • Non-Listening: A style that is appropriate when the receiver has no need for the content and

has minimal relationship with he sender.

• Pseudo listening: A way of "faking it" where the receiver feels obligated to listen even though they are preoccupied unable or unwilling to at that particular time.

• Defensive Listening: A style of listening used in situations where the receiver feels that he might be taken advantage of if he does not protect himself by listening for information directly relevant to him.

• Appreciative Listening: A style that is appropriate in a recreational setting where the listener is participating as a way of passing time or being entertained.

• Listening with Empathy: A style that teaches an individual to enter fully into the world of the other and truly comprehend their thoughts and feelings.

• Naively listening to customers: A style that helps build an ongoing relationship by helping the receiver understand the needs of the sender.

• Therapeutic Cathartic Listening: A listening style used by psychological counselors to help people who are having problems dealing with life situations.

• Therapeutic Diagnostic Listening: A listening style that is used to assess the needs of the sender.

Content Receiving Skills

• Insensitive Listening or Offensive listening: A style where the listeners main intent is to select information that can later he used against the speaker.

• Insulated Listening: A style where the listener avoids responsibility by failing to acknowledge that they have heard the information presented by the speaker.

• Selective Listening: A style where the listener only responds to the parts of the message that directly interests him.

• Bottom Line Listening: A style of listening where the receiver is only concerned about the facts. "Just the facts man."

• Court Reporter Syndrome: A style of taking in a speakers message and recording it verbatim.

• Informational Listening: A style that is used when the listener is seeking out specific information.

• Evaluative Listening: A style used to listen to information upon which a decision has to be made.

• Critical Incidence Listening: A style used when the consequence of not listening may have dramatic effects.

• Intimate Listening: The style that is appropriate when the speaker is communicating significant relational information being completely and wholly honest.

TYPES OF LISTENING

• 1. Inactive listening.

• 2. Selective listening.

• 3. Active listening

• 4. Reflective Listening

Active Versus Passive listening

• Show keenness

• Expressions

• Alertness

• Questions

• Not neglecting physical aspects

• Valid reason for criticism

Implications

• Good listening helps you to take better decisions and make better policies in organization.

• On the contrary lack of proper listening can lead to embarrassing situations because of a gap in coordination and understanding.

Tips for Effective Listening

• DO’s

• Be mentally prepared to listen • Evaluate the speech not the

speaker • Be unbiased to the speaker by

depersonalizing your feelings • Fight distractions by closing off

sound sources • Be open minded • Ask questions to clarify and not

to overshadow intelligence • Paraphrase from time to time • Send appropriate non-verbal

signals time to time

• Don’ts

• Not to pay undue emphasis on vocabulary as you can use the context to understand the meaning

• Not to pay too much attention to the accessories and clothing of the speaker

• Not to prepare your responses while the speaker is speaking

• Avoid preconceptions and prejudices

• Not to get distracted by outside influences

• Not to interrupt too often • Not to show boredom

Ten keys to effective listening

• Find areas of interest. The Poor Listener: Tunes out dry topics. The Good Listener: Seizes opportunities: "What's in it for me?"

• Judge content, not delivery. The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor. The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over delivery errors.

• Hold your fire. The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument. The Good Listener: Doesn't judge until comprehension is complete.

• Listen for ideas. The Poor Listener: Listens for facts. The Good Listener: Listens for central theme.

• Be a flexible note taker. The Poor Listener: Is busy with form, misses content. The Good Listener: Adjusts to topic and organizational pattern.

• Work at listening. The Poor Listener: Shows no energy output, fakes attention The Good Listener: Works hard; exhibits alertness.

• Resist distractions. The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily. The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions; tolerates bad habits in others; knows how to concentrate.

• Exercise your mind. The Poor Listener: Resists difficult material; seeks light, recreational material. The Good Listener: Uses heavier material as exercise for the mind.

• Keep your mind open. The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words. The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words; does not get hung up on them.

• Thought is faster than speech; use it. The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow speakers. The Good Listener: Challenges, anticipates, mentally summarizes, weights the evidence, listens between the lines to tone and voice.

Ten keys to effective listening

Conclusion

• You do not listen with just your ears. You listen with your eyes and with your sense of touch. You listen with your mind, your heart, your imagination. (Egan Gerard)

• A good conversationalist is popular, a good listener even more so. Talk only if you have something to say.

1ndONEsia Lebih BAIK…