Post on 07-Apr-2018
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Id like to take the opportunity to tell you about my
own ignorance and doubts, with the realization that
we all come rom the land o ignorance and doubt
in as much as our parents and their ancestors were
born with delements that led them to ignorance as
well. Theres probably not one o us here who slipped
through to be born in the land o intelligence and reedom rom doubt. This
being the case, we must all be subject to doubts. Each o us, beore starting the
practice and in the beginning stages o the practice, is sure to suer rom ig-
norance and doubt, as these are the actors that lead to the states o becoming
and birth into which all living beings are born. When we lay the groundworkor practice, we dont have enough starting capital or intelligence to take the
lead in every situation, so ignorance is sure to nd an opening to take the lead.
I we have never trained our intelligence to show us the way, the ignorance that
holds the upper hand in the heart is sure to drag us in the wrong direction as
a matter o course.
In the beginning o my own training, I elt doubts about whether the teach-
ings o the Buddha both the practices to be ollowed and the results to be
obtained were as complete as he said they were. This was an uncertainty that
ran deep in my heart during the period in which I was debating whether or not
to practice or the really high levels o Dhamma or, to put it succinctly, or the
sake o Nibbana. Beore I considered practicing or the sake o Nibbana, these
doubts hardly ever occurred to me, probably because I hadnt yet aimed my
compass in that direction. But ater I ordained and studied the Dhamma and
especially the lie o the Buddha, which was the story o his great renunciation
leading to his attainment o the paths, the ruitions and Nibbana; and then the
lives o the Noble Disciples who, having heard the Dhamma rom the Buddha,
went o to practice in various places until they too gained Enlightenment,
becoming witnesses to the truth o the Buddha and his teachings when I had
studied to this point, I elt a sense o aith and conviction and wanted to train
mysel to be like them.
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But how was I to ollow the training that would make me like them? Would
the training in other words, the practice that would lead the heart to awaken
to the higher levels o Dhamma like the Buddha and his disciples still produce
the same sort o results, or would it be ruitless and merely lead to pointless
hardship or those who practiced it? Would it still give the ull results in line
with the Buddhas well-taught teachings? That was my primary doubt. But as
or believing in the Buddhas Enlightenment and that o his disciples, o this I
was ully convinced, as ar as an ordinary person can be. The thing that ormed
a stumbling block or me in the beginning stages was doubt as to whether or
not the path o practice I would take, ollowing the Buddha and his disciples,
would lead me to the same point they had reached. Perhaps it was now over-grown with brambles and thorns. Had it changed into something other than
the Dhamma that leads away rom suering, even though the Buddha and his
disciples had all ollowed this very same path to the land o peace and security?
This was my doubt concerning causes in the practice. As or the results o the
practice, I wondered whether the paths, the ruitions and Nibbana still existed
as they had in the time o the Buddha. Although they ran deep in my heart, I
couldnt tell these doubts to anyone else because I elt no one could resolvethem or me and dispel them rom my heart.
That is why I had my hopes constantly set on meeting Venerable Ajaan
Mun. Even though I had never met him beore, I had heard that he was a monk
o great distinction. By and large, the people who told me about him never
spoke o him in terms o the ordinary levels o noble attainments. They all spoke
o his Arahantship. This convinced me that when I nished my studies in line
with a vow I had made, Id have to make the eort to nd him and live under his
guidance so as to cut away the doubts running deep in my heart at that time.
I had promised mysel that I would complete the third grade o Pali stud-
ies rst. As soon as I passed the third-level Pali exams, I set out rom Bangkok
to honor that vow. I got as ar as Nakhon Ratchasima, where I spent the rains
retreat in Cakkaraad District. I started practicing or samadhi concentration and
was amazed at how my mind developed stillness and calm step by step. I could
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clearly see my heart settle down in peace. Soon ater that, the senior monk who
was my Pali teacher asked me to return to Bangkok to continue my studies. He
even had the kindness to come ater me, beore continuing to travel urther out
into the provinces. On the way back, he was going to have me accompany him
to Bangkok. I really elt in a bind, so I headed or Udon Thani in order to nd
Venerable Ajaan Mun. Along the way, the progress I had made in samadhi prac-
tice disappeared. I stopped at my home village o Baan Taad to make a simple
umbrella-tent, and that was my undoing. I hadnt even spent a ull month at
Baan Taad when I began to eel that my mind wasnt settling down in samadhi
as snugly as it had beore. Sometimes I could get it to settle down, sometimes
not. Seeing that things didnt look promising and that I could only lose by stay-ing on, I quickly let.
In coming rom Nakhon Ratchasima to Udon Thani, my purpose had been
to catch up with Venerable Ajaan Mun, who had spent the rains at Wat Noan
Nives, Udon Thani. I didnt reach him in time though, because he had been
invited to Sakon Nakhon beore my arrival, so I went on to stay at Wat Thung
Sawaang in Nong Khai or a little more than three months. In May o that year,
1942, I let Nong Khai or the town o Sakon Nakhon, and rom there went on
to the monastery where Venerable Ajaan Mun was staying at Baan Khoak, Tong
Khoam Township, Muang District, Sakon Nakhon Province. When I reached
the monastery, I ound him doing walking meditation in the late evening dusk.
Whos that? he asked, so I told him who I was. He then let his meditation
path and went to the meeting hall he was staying in a room there in the meet-
ing hall and conversed with me, showing a great deal o kindness and com-
passion or the incredibly ignorant person who had come to seek him out. He
gave me a sermon that rst evening, the gist o which Ill relate to you as ar as I
can remember it. Its a message that remains close to my heart to this day.
Youve already studied a good deal, he told me, at least enough to earn
the title o Maha. Now Im going to tell you something that I want you take and
consider. Dont imagine that I underrate the Dhamma o the Lord Buddha, but
at present no matter how much o the Dhamma youve studied, it will serve no
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purpose other than simply being an obstacle to your meditation, because you
wont be able to resist dwelling on it and using it to take the measure o thingswhen youre trying to calm your heart. So or the sake o developing stillness in
your heart, I want you to put away the Dhamma youve studied or the time be-
ing. When the time comes or it to benet you, it will all come streaming in to
blend perectly with your practice. At the same time, it will serve as a standard
to which you should make the heart conorm. But or the time being, I dont
want you to concern yoursel with the Dhamma youve studied at all. When
you make the mind still or investigate with wisdom, I want you rst to restrictyoursel to the sphere o the body. All o the Dhamma in the texts points to the
body and the mind, but the mind doesnt yet have any rm evidence and so it
cant take the Dhamma learned rom the texts and put it to good use. Your mind
is xated on theory in a manner that doesnt truly refect the way o the Lord
Buddha. The Dhamma will be compared with the theory youve memorized,
leading you to speculate to the point where you become a person with no solid
oundation. I want you to take what Ive said and think it over. I you set your
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mind on the practice without retreating, the day will come when these words
o mine will impress themselves on your heart.
I elt an immediate sense o aith and conviction in Venerable Ajaan Mun
as soon as I saw him ace to ace that night, both because o my conviction in
the Dhamma he was so kind to teach me and because o the assistance he gave
in letting me stay under his guidance. When staying with him, I elt a sense o
contentment hard to describe but also with a stupidity on my own part hard
to describe as well. He himsel was very kind, helping me with Dhamma every
time I went to see him.
When I rst went to stay with Venerable Ajaan Mun, my meditation prac-
tice was constantly up and down. For a long time my heart was reluctant to
settle down rmly. The rst rains I spent with him was my ninth rains, inasmuch
as I had spent my rst seven rains in study, and one rains in Nakhon Ratchasima
ater starting to practice. During that rst rains with Venerable Ajaan Mun, there
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was nothing but progress and decline in my samadhi. Ater the rains, I went to
stay on a mountain or more than two months and then returned to him with
my mind still up and down in the same way. I couldnt gure out why it kept
regressing even though I was intent on practicing to the ull extent o my abil-
ity. Some nights, I was unable to sleep all night long out o ear that my mental
state would deteriorate, and yet it would still manage to do so. Especially when
the mind was beginning to settle down in stillness, Id accelerate my eorts
even more, out o ear that it would regress as it had beore and even then
it would regress on me. Ater a while it would progress again only to decline
again. When it was up, it would stay at that level or only three days and then
slip back right beore my eyes. This disturbed me and made me wonder: Whatcaused it to slip back? Was it because I had let go o my meditation object?
Perhaps my mindulness had lapsed at that point. So I made a note o this and
promised mysel that no matter what, I would have to keep my mind ocused on
the meditation object at all times. Regardless o where I went and regardless o
whether I was in or out o samadhi even when I was sweeping the monastery
compound or doing any o my chores I would not allow my mind to slip away
rom Buddho, the word I liked to repeat as my meditation object.
Even when the mind settled down into stillness, as long as I could continue
to think o the meditation-word Buddho, I wouldnt let go o it. I the mind was
going to regress in any way, this was where I would know it. Having taken note
o this point and made my promise, I started repeating the word Buddho. While
I was repeating it, the mind settled down quickly, much more quickly than it
had beore. It would drop the meditation-word only when it had settled snugly
into stillness. At that moment, whether thinking Buddho or not, the awareness
o that stillness was in and o itsel solidly Buddho. At the point where the
mind ormed no thoughts at all, the repetition o Buddho would stop. As soon
as the mind made a move to withdraw in other words, as soon as it rippled
slightly Id immediately start pumping the meditation-word back in again as a
means o keeping the mind in place.
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I abandoned my concern or the progress or decline o the mind. No mat-
ter what, I wasnt willing to let go o my meditation-word. I elt no more con-
cern or how the mind might fuctuate. I simply orced it to be conscious o
Buddho. I became aware o my progress only in terms o the heart that had
Buddho in charge. Thats how I would know. Thats the one spot where Id place
my condence. I wouldnt have to concern mysel with anything else.
As time passed, the mind that had once progressed and regressed ceased
to slide back. This was what made me realize that the reason the mind had kept
regressing so oten was because o a lapse in its meditation-word; mindulness
must have slipped away at that moment or sure. So rom that point on, I kept
my meditation-word continually in place. No matter where I went or where
I stayed, I would not let mindulness lapse. Even should I be on the verge o
death, I would never let mindulness slip away rom Buddho. I the mind was
going to regress, this was the only place where Id try to know it. I wouldnt
concern mysel with the matter in any other way. As a result, the mind was able
to establish a oundation or itsel by ocusing exclusively on the meditation-
word Buddho.
Ater that came my second rains retreat with Venerable Ajaan Mun. Beore
the rains began, my mind elt still and rm in samadhi, with no regression at all.
Even then, I reused to let go o my meditation-word. I kept this up until I was
able to sit in meditation without changing my posture rom early evening until
the rst light o dawn.
During my second rains with Venerable Ajaan Mun, I considered sitting in
meditation rom dusk until dawn as more important than any other method inmy practice. Ater that I gradually eased o, as I came to see the body as a tool
that could wear out i I used it without any sense o moderation. Still, I ound
that accelerating my eorts by means o sitting all night until dawn gave more
energy to the heart than any other method.
While I was sitting rom dusk until dawn, I gained a clear comprehension
o the eelings o pain that arise rom sitting in meditation or long periods o
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time, because the pain that arose at that time was strange and exceptional in
many ways. The wisdom that I used to investigate so as to contend with the pain
kept at its work without fagging, until it was able to understand the nature o
every sort o pain in the body which, ater many hours o sitting, became a
solid mass o pain. At the same time, wisdom was able to penetrate deeply to
know the eelings o the heart. This practice did a great deal to strengthen my
mindulness, my discernment and my courage in meditation. At the same time,
it made me bold and condent with regard to the uture, in that the pains that
would appear at the approach o death would be no dierent rom the pains I
was experiencing and investigating in the present. Nothing about the pain o
death would be so dierent or exceptional as to deceive or conuse me at thetime o death. This was a urther realization. As soon as wisdom had ully com-
prehended the pain, the pain disappeared instantly, and the mind settled down
into total stillness.
When the mind settles down into total stillness, you could say that the
mind is empty, but its only empty in samadhi. When the mind withdraws rom
samadhi, the emptiness disappears. From there, the mind resumes its investiga-
tions and continues with them until it gains expertise in the proper use o sa-
madhi. Once samadhi is strong, wisdom steps up its investigation o the various
aspects o the body until it sees them all clearly and can remove its attachments
concerning the body once and or all. At that point, the mind begins to be pro-
gressively more empty, but it doesnt yet display a complete emptiness. As long
as it hasnt gained total prociency, images will still appear within it as mental
pictures. The images within the heart then begin to ade day by day, until nally
they are gone. No mental images appear either inside or outside the heart. This
is called an empty mind.
This kind o emptiness is the inherent emptiness o the mind that has
reached its own level. Its not the same as the emptiness o samadhi. The empti-
ness o samadhi lasts only as long as we sit in samadhi. But, when the mind lets
go o the body, because o the power o its mindulness and wisdom that are
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ully alert to the internal images, this is called the emptiness o the mind on its
own level. This emptiness, gained through wisdom, is lasting.
When this stage is reached, the mind is truly empty. Even though the body
appears, theres simply a sense that the body is there. No image o the body ap-
pears in the mind at all. Emptiness o this sort is said to be empty on the level
o the mind and its constantly empty like this at all times. I this emptiness
is Nibbana, its the Nibbana o that particular meditator or o that stage o the
mind, but its not yet the Nibbana o the Buddha. I someone were to take the
emptiness o samadhi or Nibbana, it would simply be the Nibbana o that par-
ticular meditators samadhi. Why is it that these two sorts o emptiness arent
the emptiness o the Buddhas Nibbana? Because the mind empty in samadhi
is unavoidably satised with and attached to its samadhi. The mind empty in
line with its own level is likewise unavoidably absorbed in and attached to that
sort o emptiness. The mind must then take that level o emptiness as its object
until it passes beyond it. Anyone who calls this emptiness Nibbana is actually
attached to this emptiness without realizing it. When attachment is involved,
how can this sort o emptiness be Nibbana?
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I we dont want to settle or this level o
Nibbana, we must take a thorough look at eel-
ing, memory, thought and consciousness until we
see them clearly and in ull detail because the
emptiness were reerring to is the emptiness o
eeling, in that a eeling o pleasure lls this emp-
tiness. Memory recognizes it as empty. Thoughts
take this emptiness as their preoccupation. Con-
sciousness is aware o an internal emptiness. So
this level o emptiness becomes the emptiness o
the minds preoccupation.
I we investigate this emptiness, seeing it clearly as a mental abrication,
we will open the way by which we are sure o transcending it someday. Investi-
gating in this way, the truth o the mind will gradually reveal itsel. The mind is
then sure to nd a way to shake itsel ree. Even the underlying basis or these
abricated things will not be able to withstand mindulness and wisdom. Mind-
ulness and wisdom o a radical sort will slash their way in just like a re that
burns without stopping when it meets with uel until they have dug up the
roots o all conditioned things. Only then will they stop their advance.
On this level, the adversaries to the Nibbana o the Buddha are the things
to which the mind is attached: the sense that, My heart is empty, My heart
is at ease, My heart is clean and clear. Although we may see the heart as
empty, its paired with a non-emptiness. The heart may seem to be satised,
but its merely the other side o dissatisaction. The heart may seem clean and
clear, but it dwells with delement without our being aware o it. Thus empti-
ness, ease and clarity are the qualities that obscure the heart because they are
the signs o becoming and birth. Whoever wants to cut o becoming and birth
should thus investigate these things with wisdom so as to let them go. Dont
be possessive o them, or they will turn into a re that burns you. When your
wisdom digs down into these three lords o becoming as they appear, you will
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come to the central hub o becoming and birth, and it will disintegrate rom the
heart the moment wisdom reaches the oundation on which it is based.
The ultimate orm o emptiness arises when those actors are ended through
the power o wisdom. No signs o any conventional reality will appear in that
emptiness at all. It is an emptiness dierent rom the other orms o emptiness
we have passed through. Whether that emptiness can be called the emptiness
o the Buddha, or whose emptiness it is, Im araid I cant say, other than that
its an emptiness that each meditator can know directly only or him or hersel
alone.
The ultimate emptiness has no time or season. Its absolutely timeless. Theemptiness o samadhi can fuctuate and change. The emptiness o the ormless
or imageless level, which serves as our path, can change or be transcended. But
this emptiness exclusively within onesel doesnt change because there is no
sel within this emptiness, and no sense that this emptiness is onesel. There is
simply the knowledge and vision o things as they are seeing this emptiness in
line with its natural principles as they actually are, and seeing all phenomena
as they actually are. Even moral virtue, samadhi and wisdom the qualities we
use to straighten out the heart are realized or what they are and let go in line
with their true nature. Nothing at all remains lurking in the nature o this nal
stage o emptiness.
Please refect on these three kinds o emptiness and try to attain them in
your practice. Especially the last orm o emptiness, which is emptiness in the
principles o nature, beyond the range where any other person or any conven-
tional reality can become involved with it ever again. Our doubts, ranging romthe beginning levels o the Dhamma to this ultimate emptiness, will nally be
resolved, with our own knowledge and vision acting as judge.