Face to Face in the Workplace

Strategies for dealing with conversations at work

Julie Cooper

Spring Developmentwww.springdevelopment.net

What we are doing today:

• Tell you about Face to Face in the Workplace • Explore how you impact on others• Discover why conversations go wrong• Learn some simple strategies that work

Our first book.....

• Regularly on Amazon best sellers lists since 2008

• Widely used as course text book for advice and guidance qualifications

Then along came books two and three....

What worked....

• Practical “how to” approach• Clear structure, simple language• Friendly illustrations• Theory made accessible• Toolkit of models, ideas and strategies• “It’s hard when....”• Stories as examples – including how to get it wrong!

The Basics:Self awarenessPersonality stylesAssertive behaviourCredibilityRapportExplainingListeningQuestioningBody languagePositive regardHow to challengeShutting people upSaying noOn the hop

What’s in the book:• Appraisals• Back from Sickness interviews• Challenging attitude and negativity • Change, Introducing• Coaching• Conflict• Dark Triad• Delegating• Disciplinary meetings• Feedback• Exit interviews• Grievance, handling a• Inappropriate behaviour • Influencing

and Persuasion • Instructing• Interviewing job applicants • Managing your Boss•Mentoring • Negotiating •Performance gaps • Praising• Redundant, Making someone • Dismissing a member of staff • Supervisory meetings• 360° Feedback

Why strategies for conversations?

Because....• We think we’re understood

• We think we’ve explained

• We don’t challenge enough

• We don’t explore issues to get to the heart of the matter

• We’re under pressure to get quick results

But the real results are...what?

OCEAN – Who are you?The Big Five:

• Openness to experience• Conscientious• Extraversion• Agreeableness• Neuroticism

Know your own personality

What do we bring?

• Motives

• Learning history

•Thinking skills

• Capacity to feel

• Sense of worth

• Fears

• Sexuality

• Values and ethics

•Culture and Cross-cultural Skills

•Experience

•Social Class

How can each of these affect a conversation?

Perception and filters caused by our:

Past and Present Anxiety

What is the impact on our behaviour?

Pussyfooting

Sorry to disturb you....I wonder...could we talk about....would you mind awfully...Oh, I can see you’re busy...No, it really doesn’t matter...It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?It can wait...

What are the characteristics of pussyfooting?

Clobbering!What is the likely reaction of Topi?

What impact does it have on you?

• Be aware of your emotions and the impact they may have on others

•Remember that others will assign different levels of importance so may not react as you expect

When do we need a plan?

If there is a purpose, an agenda, an important decision, a need to connect at a new level...

When it matters!

DOTS....DefinitionWhat exactly is going on here?

Think AheadWhat do I need to prepare in advance?

StepsWhat needs to happen during the discussion?

OutcomesWhat is it I want to achieve?

The Three Step Tango1.Listen until you understand where

the other person is coming from. Gather all the facts, feelings and

circumstances. Try and get to the bottom of Topi’s interests and motivation. Let him know you have heard and understood.

2. Say what you think and feel about the situation.But don’t say but!

3. Say what you would like to happen next, considering the consequences for yourself and the other person.

OFFA’s Agenda

• Opinion• Facts• Feelings• Assumptions

Were they present in your example? How did they affect the outcome?

Think of a discussion you have had at work recently.What did Topi say?

Nip it in the Bud

Three stage perception checking technique:

1. State the behaviour“Sarah, every time I mention the project deadline, you roll your eyes”

2. Say what it means to you“I take it this means you have a problem with the time scales”

3. Ask for confirmation“Am I right?”

Final Words

• The impact you have on others is critical to relationships

• Relationships are critical to successful outcomes

• Adapting your style to help others understand you is not a cop out!

www.springdevelopment.net

Thank you!

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www. springpublishing.co.uk

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Thank you for taking part.Please do let me know if you have any

questions or feedback.

julie@springdevelopment.net

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