“Don't say anything online that you wouldn't want plastered on a billboard with your face on it.”

ERIN BURY, TECH EXPERT AND ENTREPRENEUR 03POLISH YOUR SKILLS

QWhat is the right thing to say and dowhen a good friend puts herself down for

being overweight? A very close friend hasbody weight issues and she keeps criticisingherself and says things like how much shehates her body and is ashamed of herself. It’spretty bad to just listen to her and it affectsme and my self-esteem too. Is there anythingI can do to help the situation to make it betterincluding helping her gain confidence too? – A concerned friend

A. Hi, it’s great that you want to know the rightthing to do in this situation, which is so com-mon, especially among girls. Here are some tips.

Understand her concernDon’t lie – that’s patronising, andit will make her feel worse. Tryto understand what she’s sayingto you and respond kindly. If she

says things like, “I look horrible, Iwish could lose all this flab,” say this:“You don’t look horrible, but if you wantto lose weight, work towards it.It’s great to be in the healthyweight category.” Support her butdon’t chide her for feeling nega-tive. We all have bad days when we feel terribleabout ourselves. Try to gently coax her out ofher negative self-berating mental state.

Offer practical help whenever possible You could offer help in a genuine way if it’s feasi-ble for you. Example: you can offer to go forevening walks or morning run together and helpher plan healthy meals if you know a bit aboutnutrition and exercise. Or introduce her to a fit-ness lover who can help her make a good plan forlosing weight. You can also encourage her toorder low-calorie meals when you go out togeth-er; ask her to ditch sugary and maida-heavy foodsand opt for more greens and fruits.

By Sunaiinaa A Hak, etiquette guide

E X P E R TS P E A K

Areyou aiming

to lose weight,run further or swim

better to keep a New Year’sresolution? These apps

can help you meetyour workout

objectives

8FITThis one brings together on-demandworkouts and meal planning. The app createsa personalised program for your diet and exercisebased on the results you want to see. It’s for peoplewho like a lot of guidance, suggestions, reminders, andinstructions. You choose a goal, whether it be to lose weight, get fitter, or gain muscle. WHERE: Android, iOS

BLOGILATESIf cute and peppy fuel yourmotivation, Blogilates is for you.This app, blog, and YouTube channel bythe cheerful Cassey Ho offers plenty ofworkouts on-demand, as well as recipes,fitness recommendations, and a healthydose of body positivity. WHERE: iOS, webCassey Ho, presenter of Blogilates app and blog

CHARITY MILESThis one donates money to the organ-isation of your choice when you usethe app to log distance running, walk-ing or bicycling. Corporate sponsorsagree to donate some money forevery kilometre you complete, and inexchange, you see their branding inthe app. Knowing that your activitysupports charitable causes might justmotivate you to move every day.WHERE: Android, iOS

FITBIT COACHWhether you own a Fitbittracker or not, you can use theFitbit Coach app to follow workoutvideos that you cando nearly any-where. There are allkinds of options,from stretchingroutines to stairworkouts. It’s agood workout-on-demand app for those who want a realhuman in a video to talk them throughtheir routine.WHERE: Android, iOS, Windows, web

FIT RADIOIt is a music-streaming app thatalso has playlists for guidedworkouts. Whether you wantworkout music selected by DJsor a voice in your ear telling you

to pick up thepace on yourtreadmill,FitRadio hasoptions. Youcan find

music that matches your tempoor choose songs that fit the typeof workout you have in mind.WHERE: Android, iOS, web

Fit Radio’s free version haslimited content, while a premi-um account gives you all thetraining sessions and music

J&J OFFICIAL 7 MINUTE WORKOUTIt is a circuit training workout appthat lets you squeeze some exer-cise into your day at an intensitylevel that’s right for you. All youneed is a chair and about sevenminutes. J&J has other optionsbeyond the classic seven-minute

routine, such as First Timer, Intermediate 16 Minute,and Core Workout. WHERE: Android, iOS

The J&J Official app lets you create custom workoutsby stitching together exercises that are right for you

MAP MY FITNESSIt is the best exercise-track-ing app for peoplewho are new to fit-ness. It lets yourecord nearly any

activity that you might do. Ifyou forget to track any

activity in real-time, you can logyour exercise manually. WHERE: Android, iOS

Know the proper use of cutlery

Generally, you will start with the fork far-thest from the plate and work your way

in. Don’t use your spoon and forkto gesture – that’s rude. If you

gesticulate a lot, put downyour cutlery before using

your hands.

Minimum textingIf you receive a textmessage, eitherdon’t respond orsend a brief messagesaying you are busy.

Be polite to staffYou must be polite to

your server at all times. Ifyou are not happy with the

response, speak to the restau-

rant/hotel manager. Remember that thewaiter has no control over the quality ofthe food or the amount of time it takesfor the kitchen staff to prepare it.

Use your napkinAs soon as you sit down, remove yournapkin from the table and place it onyour lap. Use it to gently blot your lipsbetween bites. When you get up fromthe table temporarily, place it on yourchair until you return. At the end ofthe meal, don’t refold your napkin.Place it unfolded on the table besideyour plate.

Savour the mealDon’t rush through your meal. Takeyour time to cut your food into bite-sized pieces. Don’t put another bite intoyour mouth until you have swallowedwhat you are eating. TEAM NIE

The exercise of pleasing others isexhausting and makes us emo-tionally fatigued. To break free

from the burden of being liked byeveryone around, here are some tips.

Online dislikes...In this complex digital world, we are per-petually wary of saying or doing thewrong thing, lest we lose face or face ‘dis-like’. Kishimi and Koga believe if webecome a little more courageous andknow that what others think of us iscompletely beyond our control, it can setus on the path to a peaceful existence.

Know that all relationshipproblems mirror inner conflict

You are not the source of every conflictyou face. The problems you have with

others reflect their conflicts too. SaysKishimi in the book, “A healthy feelingof inferiority is not something thatcomes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one’s comparisonwith one’s ideal self.” Don’t feed theneed to be acknowledged.

See that seeking recognitionis an ego trap

In a world of social media likes, wherepeople look forward to a ‘like’, havingthe courage to be disliked is freedomfrom fake ego. Accept yourself as youare, without the need for those likes.Resist recognising and celebratingwhat you have already achieved. Thecourage to be happy also includes thecourage to be disliked. When you havegained that courage, you bloom. TIMES LIFE

Restaurant etiquette, anyone?Do you enjoy eating out butyou are unsure if there’s aproper restaurantetiquette?Worry notand followthese tips

COURTESY CALLING

Are you scared of beingDISLIKED?

A Japanese book ‘The Courage to be Disliked’ by authors Ichiro Kishimi and FumitakeKoga is about how to brush off social pressures and trust in your innate self-worth

You can’t please everyone Whatever you do or say may not pleasesomeone, somewhere. Understand thatit is not possible to please everyone. Ifyou try too hard to please, you are set-ting yourself up for a fall. To be true toyourself means accepting how you feel,expressing your truth and acceptingthat everyone is not going to agree withyou. It sets you free.

SOURCE: IN.PCMAG.COM

■ SCIENCE: STREET GENIUS, NATION-AL GEOGRAPHIC CHANNEL, 3.00 PM:Tim Shaw takes science to thestreets and conducts a series of jaw-dropping experiments.

■ GORDON RAMSAY: UNCHARTED, FOXLIFE HD, 5.00 PM: Celebrity ChefGordon Ramsay travels around theworld to immerse himself into different cultures and cuisines.

■ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, DISCOV-ERY CHANNEL, 7.00 PM: Smart inno-vators use their skills along withscientific principles to design a ro-botic drawing arm and make a bikethat exercises the entire body.

■ WILD 24, NAT GEO WILD, 8.00 PM:Witness incredible animal behav-iour through day and night in theAfrican Savannah.

■ GODZILLA, MOVIES NOW, 3.05 PM:An immense lizard, radioactivelymutated, descends upon New York.What happens next is what you willknow when you watch the film.

■ MONSTERS UNIVERSITY, &FLIX, 4.40PM: Mike and Sulley, two monsters,join the Monsters University in or-der to graduate as the scariest mon-sters on the planet. While they arearch rivals of each other, gradual-ly, they become best friends.

MOVIES ON TVTELEVISION

MUST DOMUST SEEJANUARY14, 2020

■ HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY,SONY PIX SD, 6.59 PM: The evilPrince Nuada is hellbent on bring-ing the Golden Army to life, whichwill help him to conquer the world.Hellboy and his team join forces todefeat the callous ruler. What follows is a thrilling face-offbetween good and evil.

1690: Clarinet the musical instrument, wasinvented in Germany.

1761: The Third Battle of Panipat took place.

1784: The United States ratified a peace treatywith England ending the Revolutionary War.

1898: Lewis Carroll, English writer,passed away.

1914: The Gandhi-Smuts Agreement wasreached between General JC Smuts andMahatma Gandhi, regarding voluntary registration, poll tax, recognition of Indianmarriages, and other matters.

1994: Former US president Bill Clinton andRussian president Boris Yeltsin signed Kremlinaccords to stop aiming missiles at any nationand to dismantle nuclear arsenal of Ukraine.

1999: The impeachment trial of former USPresident Bill Clinton began.

2004: The national flag of Georgia,the so-called "five cross flag" wasrestored to official use after a hiatus

of around 500 years.

2011: Tunisian president Ben Ali, fled toSaudi Arabia, after protests known as theJasmine Revolution, begun.

THISDAY THAT

YEAR

INTROSPECTION