COMMUNICATING WITH CONFIDENCE

Presented by Abbe Meehan

TEC Resource Center

WELCOME ACTIVITY

Please take a moment to complete the Assertiveness

Assessment provided as a handout.

2

OBJECTIVES

By the time you complete this workshop, it is expected that you will:

• Understand the importance of communication and its

impact on your success as a leader• Learn the two main components of successful

communication: listening and asserting• Discover ways to present yourself with confidence and

professionalism

“Interpersonal skills are humanity’s greatest accomplishment,…low-level communication leads to loneliness and distance from friends, lovers, spouses,

and children – as well as ineffectiveness at work.”

Robert Bolton, PhD.

Communication and Managerial Success

Listening

KEY COMPONENTS OF SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION - LISTENING

It’s too easy to fall into one of the traps of poor listening:

Giving advice/ telling someone we know how they feel

Thinking that we need have an answer

Unconsciously finding ways to stop the person from talking

CONVEY TRUE EMPATHIC LISTENING

Are you confusing listening with hearing?

Reflective Listening

Summarized ReflectionsParaphrasing Reflecting

Feelings

Paraphrase

A concise response to the speaker which states the essence of their content in the listener’s own words…

Only the essential message

Focus is on content

Mary: “ I’d like to put in for the promotion, I know I can help this department reach its goals, but I’m not sure I can put in the extra hours with all that’s going on at home right now.”

Jane: “You know you could do a good job, but it might not be the right time for you.”

Mary: (nods)

Example

Involves mirroring back to the speaker, in succinct statements, the emotions which he/she is communicating…

Do not focus on content

Be brief

Focus on the feelings

Encourage the disclosure of feelings

Reflection of Feelings

Example

Bob: “I was so sure that I would be promoted by now. I keep getting passed over…”

Tom: “It must feel discouraging”

Bob: “It sure is, in fact, it’s starting to make me hate this job.”

Stop, slow down, and listen until you “experience the other person’s feelings”

Stop and ask yourself: If I were having that experience, what would I be feeling?

Try to get the feeling of the general content of the message

Observe the body language or tone of voice

How can we become more aware of a speaker’s feelings?

A brief re-statement of the main themes and feelings that the speaker has expressed over a longer period of time:

It recaps the main ideas

Highlights feelings

Helps the person focus

Verbalizes developments in the process

SUMMARIZED REFLECTION

“You keep coming back to….”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. I see something that may be a pattern and I’d like to ask you about it…”

“Let’s recap what you’ve covered”

Keep the Conversation on Track

WHICH TYPE OF REFLECTIVE LISTENING?

Paraphrasing Reflecting feelings Summarized reflections

Direct Report: “I’ve called the manufacturer several times and they can’t help. This has been going on way to long and now the Nurse Manager is calling and complaining!!!”

Manager: “OK, so let me make sure I got this right: You had a problem with the machine, so you called for support but they could not help. Now you’re concerned because the issue has been escalated and we look unresponsive to the end user.

Assertiveness

Creating Strong Connections with

Peers and Staff

Being assertive is about being able to verbally and non-verbally communicate positive and negative thoughts

without experiencing undue anxiety and without violating someone else’s rights.

The first part:

A “nonjudgmental” and brief description of the behavior you want changed.

Developing Assertive Statements

The second part:

The third part:

A statement of how the behavior makes you feel.

A description of the effect the other person’s behavior has on you.

“When you interrupt me before I am finished speaking, I feel distracted, and cannot remember what I was going to say.”

Key Components of Successful Communication - Assertiveness

So, an assertive statement may sound like this:

Example: You feel angry because an employee did not submit the report you requested on ti me.

Example: You feel frustrated because an employee is not keeping you informed of problems that are occurring in his/her area.

Example: Asserti vely express how feel about an employee who shouts, using the three-part-technique.

NOW YOU TRY IT!

AGGRESSIVE, ASSERTIVE, OR PASSIVE?

How do you stack up?

WHICH IS ASSERTIVE?

#1“Maybe if you didn’t already take 8 days off this month, I would.”

#2“You have already been out 8 days this month and it’s been difficult to cover your workload. There’s a lot left to do this month so, unfortunately I can’t give you the day on Friday.”

#3“I’m sorry. I know you were counting on the day off but I’m just not sure we will be able to finish on time so can you give me another day to think about it?”

Employee: “So, are you going to let me have the day off on Friday?”

Presenting

Yourself

CREATING A CONFIDENT SPEAKING STYLE

The relationship between breath support and speechIncrease your mouth openingWeak words and tag questions to avoidDon’t make a statement sound like a question

BE DYNAMIC

Use a conversational speaking style when presenting.

Change your loudness, pitch and rate of speech to capture the interest of your audience.

CONTROL YOUR RATE OF SPEECH

Reduce your rate of speech when giving a presentation. Use strategic pauses to improve your audience’s understanding and engagement.

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ELIMINATE FILLERS

Recognize your filler(s) of choice and pattern. Learn to anticipate your use of fillers.Replace fillers with silence.

Uhhh…Like….

Ya know…

THANK YOU!

CONTACT INFORMATION

Abbe Meehan, RCC™

President

TEC Resource Center

Phone: (631) 963-4244 Email: abbe@tecresourcecenter.com For more info, visit www.TECResourceCenter.com