REVISIREVISION

NG

Revise our reasoning.Revise our results.

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

Revision is hard.

Revision is normal.

Revision is a skill.

Revision is a habit.

Revision takes talent.Revision takes effort.

Revision is a problem.Revision is an opportunity.

Revision is time-consuming.Revision is time well-spent.Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

We’re done with revision when we’re done with revision.

We’re done with revision when we’re done.

Use a “Definition of Done”Just look at that turkey!

Use a “Definition of Done”

Readers have a sense of what the piece is about.

Readers want to read more.

Readers think the piece will be worth reading.

After reading the beginning…

Use a “Definition of Done”

Readers have enough details to understand the one most important thing you want them to know.

Readers have enough information to answer all their important questions.

Readers think you included the right amount of information.

After reading the middle…

Use a “Definition of Done”

Readers understand why the piece was written.

Readers feel that the piece is finished and that it gives them something to think about.

Readers had a valuable experience.

After reading the end…

Use a “Definition of Done”

Readers understand why the piece was written.

Readers feel that the piece is finished and that it gives them something to think about.

Readers had a valuable experience.

After reading the end…

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

You can observe a lot just

by watching.

Pick a TopicTYPICAL UNUSUAL

Reading Watching football with my wife Visiting schools Writing Going out lunch Facebooking Taking naps Visiting my mom

Swallowed a pin when I was a baby Broke my foot letting the dogs outside for the night Got married in a bowling alley Went to Paris on my honeymoon Worked with Bill Gates (sort of)

Pick a TopicTYPICAL UNUSUAL

Reading Watching football with my wife Visiting schools Writing Going out lunch Facebooking Taking naps Visiting my mom

Swallowed a pin when I was a baby Broke my foot letting the dogs outside for the night Got married in a bowling alley Went to Paris on my honeymoon Worked with Bill Gates (sort of)

Pick a TopicTYPICAL UNUSUAL

Reading Watching football with my wife Visiting schools Writing Going out lunch Facebooking Taking naps Visiting my mom

Swallowed a pin when I was a baby Broke my foot letting the dogs outside for the night Got married in a bowling alley Went to Paris on my honeymoon Worked with Bill Gates (sort of)

PrewriteACTION FEELINGS

Letting dogs outside before bed Fell on the stairs and broke my foot

SETTING

Relief that I wasn’t badly injured Lucky I didn’t hit my head or hurt my back A lot of pain

My house Bedroom Hallway Stairs Barking dogs excited to go outside one more time.

PrewriteACTION FEELINGS

Letting dogs outside before bed Fell on the stairs and broke my foot

SETTING

Relief that I wasn’t badly injured Lucky I didn’t hit my head or hurt my back A lot of pain

My house Bedroom Hallway Stairs Barking dogs excited to go outside one more time.

Drafting

Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs out. A few months ago, I fell on the stairs as they went by me and broke my foot.

I missed a stair and came crashing down on my right foot. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound I’d heard as I went down.

OUCH

Drafting

Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs out. A few months ago, I fell on the stairs as they went by me and broke my foot.

I missed a stair and came crashing down on my right foot. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound I’d heard as I went down.

OUCH

More Drafting (Or is it Revising?)Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs,

Mookie and Marvin, outside. They won’t let me get to sleep if I don’t. A few months ago, their excitement turned into a little problem.

I got up out of bed and headed for the stairs. One of them ran between my legs and knocked me off balance.

I missed a stair. With all my weight I came crashing down on my right foot. I tumbled down to the landing. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound in my foot.

More Drafting (Or is it Revising?)Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs,

Mookie and Marvin, outside. They won’t let me get to sleep if I don’t. A few months ago, their excitement turned into a little problem.

I got up out of bed and headed for the stairs. One of them ran between my legs and knocked me off balance.

I missed a stair. With all my weight I came crashing down on my right foot. I tumbled down to the landing. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound in my foot.

Revising BeginningsBEGIN WITH A QUESTION. Did you know that accidents with pets account for many foot and leg injuries in older adults?

BEGIN WITH A SOUND. Crack! I heard the most terrible sound a person can hear: the sound of one’s own breaking bones.

BEGIN WITH THE SETTING. It was a normal night like any other. I was in bed, watching TV and relaxing when my dog, Mookie, put his big paw on my arm which meant, in Mookie language, that he wanted to go outside one more time.

BEGIN WITH ACTION. Mookie and Marvin shot past me like bullets as I made my first steps down the stairs.

BEGIN WITH FEELINGS. There’s something very sad about tripping over your own two feet and falling down the stairs.

Revising BeginningsBEGIN WITH A QUESTION. Did you know that accidents with pets account for many foot and leg injuries in older adults?

BEGIN WITH A SOUND. Crack! I heard the most terrible sound a person can hear: the sound of one’s own breaking bones.

BEGIN WITH THE SETTING. It was a normal night like any other. I was in bed, watching TV and relaxing when my dog, Mookie, put his big paw on my arm which meant, in Mookie language, that he wanted to go outside one more time.

BEGIN WITH ACTION. Mookie and Marvin shot past me like bullets as I made my first steps down the stairs.

BEGIN WITH FEELINGS. There’s something very sad about tripping over your own two feet and falling down the stairs.

Revising Beginnings

Crack! I knew I had just broken my foot. I didn’t want to believe it, but the pain made a convincing argument. How, I wondered, had the simplest of my night time duties turned into a colossal disaster?

I’m using a “combination” lead here.SOUND

QUESTION

ACTION

Revising Beginnings

Crack! I knew I had just broken my foot. I didn’t want to believe it, but the pain made a convincing argument. How, I wondered, had the simplest of my night time duties turned into a colossal disaster?

I’m using a “combination” lead here.SOUND

QUESTION

ACTION

Revising EndingsEND WITH FEELINGS. I felt unlucky to have broken my foot, but as I waited in the doctor’s waiting room, I saw people much worse off than I was. Maybe I didn’t need to feel so bad after all.

END WITH A QUESTION. Months later, I’m more careful walking down the stairs to let the dogs out. But I can’t stop thinking: Will this happen again?

END WITH A REALIZATION. When I went to see the doctor the next day, I thought I had an unusual story to tell about how I broke my foot letting my dogs outside. But the doctor wasn’t impressed. Apparently, many injuries like mine have something to do with pets. My story wasn’t special at all.

END WITH SOMETHING ABOUT THE FUTURE. Looking ahead, I know one thing: I don’t want to break this foot again. So I’m working out some new rules for the dogs and me when we’re on the stairs together. The first rule will be: let’s not be on the stairs together.

Revising EndingsEND WITH FEELINGS. I felt unlucky to have broken my foot, but as I waited in the doctor’s waiting room, I saw people much worse off than I was. Maybe I didn’t need to feel so bad after all.

END WITH A QUESTION. Months later, I’m more careful walking down the stairs to let the dogs out. But I can’t stop thinking: Will this happen again?

END WITH A REALIZATION. When I went to see the doctor the next day, I thought I had an unusual story to tell about how I broke my foot letting my dogs outside. But the doctor wasn’t impressed. Apparently, many injuries like mine have something to do with pets. My story wasn’t special at all.

END WITH SOMETHING ABOUT THE FUTURE. Looking ahead, I know one thing: I don’t want to break this foot again. So I’m working out some new rules for the dogs and me when we’re on the stairs together. The first rule will be: let’s not be on the stairs together.

Revising EndingsLimping into the doctor’s office the next morning,

I felt strangely special. I had an odd story to tell about an unusual event. The orthopedist took one look at my foot and said, “Do you have dogs?” I told her I did. “More than half of these injuries involve pets,” she said matter-of-factly. I guess I wasn’t so special after all. I was just another clumsy pet owner with a swollen, throbbing foot.

I’m using a “combination” ending here.FEELING REALIZATION

Revising EndingsLimping into the doctor’s office the next morning,

I felt strangely special. I had an odd story to tell about an unusual event. The orthopedist took one look at my foot and said, “Do you have dogs?” I told her I did. “More than half of these injuries involve pets,” she said matter-of-factly. I guess I wasn’t so special after all. I was just another clumsy pet owner with a swollen, throbbing foot.

I’m using a “combination” ending here.FEELING REALIZATION

Revising DetailsIDEA DETAILS

One of the dogs knocked me off balance.

They shot past me

One ran between my legs

Other on the outside.

Didn’t want to step on them

Stepped on myself

Revising DetailsIDEA DETAILS

One of the dogs knocked me off balance.

They shot past me

One ran between my legs

Other on the outside.

Didn’t want to step on them

Stepped on myself

Revising DetailsAs they shot past me in a mad dash, one

of them ran between my legs while the other raced by on the outside. I didn’t want to step on them, so I decided to step on myself.

I’m “revising” all along the way here.

Revising DetailsAs they shot past me in a mad dash, one

of them ran between my legs while the other raced by on the outside. I didn’t want to step on them, so I decided to step on myself.

I’m “revising” all along the way here.

Revising for Unnecessary WordsCrack! I knew I had just broken my foot. I didn’t want to

believe it, but the pain made a convincing argument. How, I wondered, had the simplest of my night time duties turned into a colossal disaster?

Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs, Mookie and Marvin, outside. They won’t let me get to sleep if I don’t. A few months ago, their excitement turned into a little problem.

I got up out of bed and headed for the stairs. As they shot past me in a mad dash, one of them ran between my legs while the other raced by on the outside. I didn’t want step on them, so I decided to stepped on myself.

Continued…

Revising for Unnecessary WordsCrack! I knew I had just broken my foot. I didn’t want to

believe it, but the pain made a convincing argument. How, I wondered, had the simplest of my night time duties turned into a colossal disaster?

Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs, Mookie and Marvin, outside. They won’t let me get to sleep if I don’t. A few months ago, their excitement turned into a little problem.

I got up out of bed and headed for the stairs. As they shot past me in a mad dash, one of them ran between my legs while the other raced by on the outside. I didn’t want step on them, so I decided to stepped on myself.

Continued…

Revising for Unnecessary WordsCrack! I knew I had just broken my foot. I didn’t want to

believe it, but the pain made a convincing argument. How, I wondered, had a the simplest of my night time dutyes turned into a colossal disaster?

Each night, right before bed, I have to let our dogs, Mookie and Marvin, outside. They won’t let me get to sleep if I don’t. A few months ago, their excitement turned into a little problem.

I got up out of bed and headed for the stairs. As they shot past me in a mad dash, one of them ran between my legs while the other raced by on the outside. I didn’t want step on them, so I decided to stepped on myself.

Continued…

Revising for Unnecessary WordsI missed a stair. With all my weight, I came crashing down

on my right foot. I tumbled down to the landing. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound in my foot.

Limping into the doctor’s office the next morning, I felt strangely special. I had an odd story to tell about an unusual event. The orthopedist took one looked at my foot and said, “Do you have dogs?” I told her I did. “More than half of these injuries involve pets,” she said matter-of-factly. I guess I wasn’t so special after all. I was just another clumsy pet owner with a swollen, throbbing foot.

244 Words

Revising for Unnecessary WordsI missed a stair. With all my weight, I came crashing down

on my right foot. I tumbled down to the landing. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound in my foot.

Limping into the doctor’s office the next morning, I felt strangely special. I had an odd story to tell about an unusual event. The orthopedist took one looked at my foot and said, “Do you have dogs?” I told her I did. “More than half of these injuries involve pets,” she said matter-of-factly. I guess I wasn’t so special after all. I was just another clumsy pet owner with a swollen, throbbing foot.

244 Words

Revising for Unnecessary WordsI missed a stair. With all my weight, I came crashing down

on my right foot. I tumbled down to the landing. For a moment, I felt lucky. No injuries, I thought. Then I remembered that cracking sound in my foot.

Limping into the doctor’s office the next morning, I felt strangely special. I had an odd story to tell about an unusual event. The orthopedist took one looked at my foot and said, “Do you have dogs?” I told her I did. “More than half of these injuries involve pets,.” she said matter-of-factly. I guess I wasn’t so special after all;. I was just another clumsy pet owner with a swollen, throbbing foot.

198 Words

Strategic Incremental Revision

Strategic Incremental Revision

1. Read the text closely.2. Identify a small part to improve.3. Pick a strategy and give it a try.4. Choose the best version.5. Repeat until done.

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

Revision is the Key to Success

“Revision is the best way to make kids better writers because revision is

how kids make writing better and better writing is proof that kids are

better writers.”

Revision is the Key to Success

“Revision is the best way to make kids better writers because revision is

how kids make writing better and better writing is proof that kids are

better writers.”

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

Revision is What We Value Most“When it comes to writing

instruction, revision is what we value most because we know

that revision is the most valuable thing a writer can do

to get better.”

Revision is What We Value Most“When it comes to writing

instruction, revision is what we value most because we know

that revision is the most valuable thing a writer can do

to get better.”

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

Let’s Evaluate What We Value“Because we value learning, and

because revision is the most valuable learning experience we can provide to student writers, revision should carry the greatest value in our evaluation of

student learning in writing.”

Let’s Evaluate What We Value“Because we value learning, and

because revision is the most valuable learning experience we can provide to student writers, revision should carry the greatest value in our evaluation of

student learning in writing.”

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com

So Nu?

So Nu?Make revision a normal part of writing.Identify more revising opportunities.Teach step-by-step structured strategies.Take an incremental approach.Praise the effort before the result.Publish more short pieces.Place evaluative emphasis on revision.

Send me an email at stevepeha@gmail.com