Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

Anne E. Roosevelt Cowles, Bamie, Auntie Bye—Many Names, Many Influences

To journalist Lincoln Steffens, Theodore Roosevelt (TR) recounted “his father

remained a lifelong warming and curative presence in his life.”1 TR said to the reporter,

“the thought of him now and always has been a sense of comfort. I could breathe, I could

sleep, when he had me in his arms. My father—he got me breath, he got me lungs,

strength—life.”2 After Theodore Roosevelt Sr.’s (Thee’s) passing, TR wrote to his elder

sister, Bamie (also known as Anna E. Roosevelt Cowles or Auntie Bye): “My own sweet

sister, you will have to give me a great deal of advice and assistance, now that our dear

father is gone, for in many ways you are more like him than any of the rest of the

family.”3 The passing of TR’s father catalyzed a budding relationship between brother

1 Kathleen Dalton, Theodore Roosevelt: A Strenuous Life (New York, NY: Vintage Books, 2002), 45.2  Dalton, Theodore Roosevelt: A Strenuous, 45.

3 Theodore Roosevelt to Anna Roosevelt, March 17, 1878, in The Years of Preparation, comp. Elting E. Morison, vol. 1, The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951), 1:32.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

and sister—Bamie would now until her death, advise, advocate for, and most importantly

resupply TR with the comfort, breathe, and strength that he so desperately needed to

remain afloat. Although in Henry Adams’ words “American history mentioned hardly the

name of a woman,” while aiding her brother, Bamie effortlessly forged her way into the

coveted social circles and political spheres of the time.4

While TR, at a young age, had already developed a tendency to withdraw into

books and heavily depend on others to provide for him, Bamie had found her voice as a

popular young mediator and diplomat.5 As the eldest sibling, Bamie was the only one of

the four Roosevelt children mature enough to understand the familial tensions post Civil

War—Bamie might have been intimately living among the anti-Confederate Roosevelts,

but her southern pro-Confederate Bulloch relatives lived just a few blocks away.6 Bamie

swiftly learned how to accept, accommodate, and regulate both extremes.7 Thus, it is no

surprise that Bamie was later described as able to “draw people out” and possessive of

“an immense capacity for getting on with all sorts of people.”8

Although her physical looks were not what were accepted as beautiful at the time,

Bamie was a magnetic force. While at Harvard, TR said of his sister, “It’s a great thing to

have a popular sister. All your friends have been very polite to me.”9 Wherever she

seemed to live, whether in New York City, Washington D.C., London, or Farmington,

Connecticut, Bamie would enthusiastically open her home to intellectuals, politicians,

4 Lilian Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable Sister (New York, NY: David McKay Company, 1963), vi.5 Dalton, Theodore Roosevelt: A Strenuous, 45.6 Betty Boyd Caroli, The Roosevelt Women (New York, NY: Basic Books, 1998), 71.7 Caroli, The Roosevelt Women, 71.8 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 86. And Caroli, The Roosevelt Women, 71.9 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 26.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

socialites, artists, and more. On Thanksgiving Day in 1906, Corinne Roosevelt Robinson

toasted the table with this limerick:

To Admiral and Mrs. Cowles,(Magnetic pair of sunlight souls!)We sing this hymn of loving praise,For giving us the best of days!10

Bamie’s house was always recorded as the most fun, and interesting of houses. Sir

Ronald Ferguson wrote in a letter to Bamie, “You talk of being quietly in politics. That is

the only part of your letter one cannot quite understand… You have seen everyone and

some more. And there is no place half so adapted for seeing people pleasantly as

Washington.”11 Bamie, at the core, held an old fashioned viewpoint on a woman’s role in

society, and thus she would never have described herself as having any influence on

politics. Although in addition to Sir Ronald’s statement, Alice Roosevelt Longworth said

of her aunt, “If Auntie Bye had been a man, she would have been president,” Bamie

would have never had such high aspirations for a career.12 Even TR admits that Bamie

was “as dear as ever and [oversaw] the entire nation,” yet Bamie was continuously

hidden behind letter correspondences, and private meetings in her living rooms.13

Bamie’s unique social gracefulness allowed for her to flourish as an intellectual, and gain

vast knowledge on politics—it would be the relationships that Bamie was able to form in

these social spaces that would aid TR in his own pursuit of office.

TR himself declared, “O Energy, they name is Bamie!”14 Bamie was indeed

socially graceful, but even more than that she oozed of poise and intellectual proficiency. 10 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 279.11 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 146.12 Caroli, The Roosevelt Women, 66.13 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 182.14 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 24.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

Bamie’s “Father had brought to the house the people who were most delightful to know,

people interested in political and civic matters.”15 Nearly every Saturday, Thee would

accompany his children to one of the many museums in New York City and then treat

them to lunch with “whoever was the most interesting in that particular moment in New

York.”16 Thee also insisted that the Roosevelt family venture beyond the borders of the

United States and explore different places, peoples, and cultures. In the winter of 1872,

Thee decided that this “grand tour” would consist of a cruise up the Nile. While in Egypt,

Bamie wrote about moonlight rides to the Temple of Amon at Karnak and the tombs of

the Pharaohs.17 Bamie also recounted the mornings that she spent tutoring her younger

siblings: “This course of governing taught me more than I ever learned before, though I

cannot say as much for my pupils. I had to learn everything I taught them in advance, and

of course Theodore knew a great deal more than I did on most of the subjects I taught.”18

Even into their early adult years, Bamie and TR spent much of their letter correspondence

discussing books that they were reading, historical events, or the political climate of the

United States. “La Guerre et La Paix, like all Tolstoy’s work, is very strong and very

interesting. The descriptions of the battles are excellent, but though with one or two good

ideas underneath them, the criticism of the commanders, especially of Napoleon and of

wars in general are absurd…” wrote TR to Bamie on June 19, 1886.19 All of these

experiences and privileges factored into Bamie’s vast array of knowledge, as well as her

craving for new knowledge. 15 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 18.16 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 19.17 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 19.18 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 21.19 Theodore Roosevelt to Anna Roosevelt, June 19, 1886, in The Years of Preparation, comp. Elting E. Morison, vol. 1, The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951), 1:103.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

The combination of her social gracefulness and her intellectual capability justified

not only Alice’s statement quoted earlier, but it also legitimized her position as one of

TR’s most valued personal advisors. In 1898, when war seemed imminent, Bamie wrote

to Henry Cabot Lodge, “I would give anything on earth to be able to do something for the

country, but I suppose we can but wait.”20 Bamie was driven to aid the United States, but

she herself knew that she would never be able to access the political mobility that any

man did. Bamie decided to use her wit, charm, and intuition to aid her brother’s

campaign. The extent to which Bamie specifically influenced TR’s political policies and

decisions is unknown, due to both Bamie’s old fashion viewpoint that women should

remain in the background, as well as Bamie’s not wanting to step on Edith’s, TR’s

second wife, toes. Both Bamie, and Edith on behalf of TR covered their trails—the

Roosevelt’s, although politically a very public family, were quite private in actuality. All

of Bamie’s letters to TR, and TR’s letters to Bamie were eventually burned, and there is

no longer a single photograph that shows brother and sister together in their political

prime.21 However, Bamie’s house was referred to as “The Little White House,” and

Bamie connected TR with the majority of his domestic and international contacts. Lilian

Rixey, author of Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt’s Remarkable Sister wrote, “For an

extremely successful politician, TR was notoriously merciful in his personal relationships

and, self-admittedly, no judge of people.”22 Bamie, and TR’s second wife Edith, would,

slightly competitively, act as guiding forces in terms of socially whom TR should speak

with—therefore it would have either been Edith or Bamie that would have forged the

relationship. 20 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 123.21 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 235.22 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, vi.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

On the other hand, despite her “innate bossy nature,” Bamie might not have

influenced TR more than she influenced or advised other people in her life.23 Bamie

recalled in a diary entry, “For many years, my career was that of an odd-job man. There

were always children arriving the world or ill, and I was always at one house or the other;

very busy with their families, with no time to even remotely think of getting married.”24

Bamie’s siblings, nieces, nephews, and children of her friends, who continually

approached Bamie in need of her assistance, described her advice as “general.” Eleanor

Roosevelt recalled that Auntie Bye would always say, “Now this is what I think. I can

only give you my best judgment. It is of course for you to decide.”25 Bamie would never

have taken center stage, but she might very well have heavily influenced from behind the

door. Bamie genuinely cared for TR, and was continuously thinking about him, his

health, his political aspirations, and the success of his career. After all, Bamie did care for

TR’s eldest daughter, (baby) Alice, named after TR’s deceased wife Alice, for much of

her life. This is important because, although TR’s relationship with baby Alice was

tumultuous at many moments, he must have very much trusted Bamie to take care of the

only vestige of his beautiful wife that was left.

Overall, Alice Roosevelt’s statement is worth repeating: “If Auntie Bye had been

a man, she would have been president.”26 Anna E. Roosevelt Cowles, Bamie, Auntie Bye,

had an incredible knack for politics, as well as navigating social situations. TR

ceaselessly listened to his “Darling Bye,” perhaps because she was smarter than he, or

23 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 235.24 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 74.25 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 235.26 Caroli, The Roosevelt Women, 66.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

perhaps because she understood him the most.27 Rixey writes, “Only Bamie seemed to

understand why TR, who had always been ashamed that his father had not “joined the

absolute fighting forces” in 1861, felt that he had to go to Cuba.28 Bamie said, “My heart

aches for him. He cannot see that the Department could be his duty, and consequently his

course to him is clear and go he will.”29 It is impossible to determine what success TR

might or might not have had without Bamie behind the curtain, however, it can be said

that Bamie on her own was a true political force. When Bamie hosted a party, or entered

a party, all eyes were on her. All eyes were on her not because of her appearance, nor

because of her relationship to her brother. All eyes were on her because she attracted

people with her graciousness, her genuine interest in what others had to say, and her

extraordinary intellect.

Bibliography

Caroli, Betty Boyd. The Roosevelt Women. New York, NY: Basic Books, 1998. Dalton, Kathleen. Theodore Roosevelt: A Strenuous Life. New York, NY: Vintage Books,

2002. Morison, Elting E., comp. The Years of Preparation. Edited by John M. Blum and John J.

Buckley. Vol. 1 of The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951.

 

27 Theodore Roosevelt to Anna Roosevelt, February 1, 1891, in The Years of Preparation, comp. Elting E. Morison, vol. 1, The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951), 1:23628 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 116.29 Rixey, Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable, 116.

Madeleine Mayhew April 15, 2015Dr. Dalton The Roosevelt’s

Rixey, Lilian. Bamie: Theodore Roosevelt's Remarkable Sister. New York, NY: David McKay Company, 1963.

 Roosevelt, Theodore. Theodore Roosevelt to Anna Roosevelt, March 17, 1878. In The

Years of Preparation, compiled by Elting E. Morison, 32-33. Vol. 1 of The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951.

 Roosevelt, Theodore. Theodore Roosevelt to Anna Roosevelt, June 19, 1886. In The

Years of Preparation, compiled by Elting E. Morison, 32-33. Vol. 1 of The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951.

Roosevelt, Theodore. Theodore Roosevelt to Anna Roosevelt, February 1, 1891. In The Years of Preparation, compiled by Elting E. Morison, 32-33. Vol. 1 of The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1951.

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