Post on 22-Apr-2015
description
From Challenging to Constructive: A
Practical Guide to Difficult
Conversations
?Respectful Directions © 2013
Ontario Association of Non-Profit Homes &
Services for Seniors, 2013
Introductions &
for spending your valuable
time with us today!
?Respectful Directions © 2013
Today’s Agenda:
1. Common communication challenges
2. 3 part model to help address
situations that are uncomfortable or
awkward .. ones you want to avoid,
but can’t/shouldn’t.
3. Group work – at your tables.
4. Apply model to case study.
Why This Topic?
?Respectful Directions © 2013
LeadershipTool
It will help you:
Build your interpersonal communication skills
Regulate your emotions
Positively affect the “high emotions of others”
Demonstrate respectful leadership
Build cultural (ethnic, occupational, gender,
ability, generational) sensitivity & inclusion
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Result …
As leaders, these are the
expectations placed on you…
TRUST + STABILITY
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It’s not Kathy’s fault!
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Human Attribution Error
Tend to ascribe our behaviour to
circumstances
Tend to ascribe behaviour of others
to their character
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Small Group Exercise:
In a small group, generate some
examples where you have
noticed the human attribution
error dynamic operating in
your own life. (family, work,
neighbours, friends).
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Human Attribution Error
An Action We Perceive
or Experience as
Negative
Them They meant it negatively
(lazy, unkind, rude.)
Us We were forced to do it
(having a bad day, had no
choice.)
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So why is this a problem?
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So why is this a problem?
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Human Attribution Error &
Problems in Communication
Make assumptions
Don’t find out the source of person’s behaviour/situation
Make decisions or take action based on absence of information
Treat the person with judgment and less empathy/humanity
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Michael’s Blackberry ….
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Intent-Action-Effect Model of
Communication
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Private Sphere Public Sphere
Intent
(reasons,
motives)
Effect
(impact,
outcome)
Action
(words,
behaviour,
decisions)
What problems can this mode of
communication lead to?
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What steps can you take to improve
communication? (Say or do)?
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Small Group Exercise:
At your table, brainstorm and list:
What steps could someone take to
connect when they notice this mode of
communication happening(what could
you say, do)?
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?Respectful Directions © 2013
Conducting a Constructive
Conversation: 3 Part Model
Part 1 – Interview yourself about your perspective
Part 2 – Interview yourself about the other person’s perspective
Part 3 – Develop an action plan
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Part 1: Your Perspective?
Impact: What is/has been the effect of this situation with _______ on you?
What hot buttons of yours are/were pressed by ______’s behaviour/words?
What values and needs of yours are/were being undermined/not met in this situation with _____?
Intent: What is/was your intent in this situation/dispute with ______?
What motives do/did you have for your actions/words?
?Respectful Directions © 2013
Part 2: Your Take on Their Perspective?
Impact: What do you suppose may push/may have pushed _______’s hot buttons?
How might ______ be affected/have been affected by this situation/dispute?
What values/needs of _______’s are being/may have been undermined or unmet in this situation?
Intent: What do you think _______’s intent is/was in this situation/dispute?
What reasons/motives could _______ have/have had for his/her actions/words?
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Part Three: Plan of Action
4 Steps:
1. How will I connect?
2. Key Messages?
3. Challenges?
4. Approach?
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Watertown Falls LTC Scenario
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What are your
observations and insights
re: using a structured
plan to guide your
conversation?
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Practical Applications
Where can you can you see
yourself using this intentional
approach/model?
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Thank you!
Katherine Popaleni & Bill Smith
www.respectfuldirections.com
905-975-2990
Michael Klejman
mklejman@sympatico.ca
905-883-6181